“It’s amazing.” She sensed a part of her reaching out, almost desperate for the embrace of the largest element on the planet.
Zum’s gaze cut to the bath. “I’m going to take you into the water and curl around you like we’re twins in the womb. There’s nothing sexual in this ritual, but we often need bodily contact with nothing between us.”
“Is this true for all elements?” Her mind raced in a frenzied quest to learn everything she could.
“Yes, although I don’t know the others’ private rituals. The connection’s way more intimate than sex. Each element has a way to connect, like children who sleep all tangled up like puppies, but we’ve stopped doing that. We don’t even shake hands for fear of revealing our power. Which is why sex has taken on a bigger role, though it has nothing to do with our spiritual side.”
“What’ll we do?” She noted the water had neared the top, the room warm and humid.
“I’ll be behind you, my body curled around yours, as the Gemini. The water twins at birth.”
Zum climbed in, not letting go of her hand, and positioned them so Elspeth was closest to the wall. Her pulse accelerated.
“I don’t touch people.” She had last night, and she suddenly wanted Aleron with an urgency she found hard to fight.
Or rather, people didn’t touch her. She now understood the inability to deny an element’s need for contact with one of its own kind, the yearning of Water inside her turning desperate.
“We’ll take deep breaths and submerge in the water. Let your breath out slowly, then reach for me with your mind. Seek my energy, and my element will seek to still yours. We’ll stay under as long as we can. If you start to panic, squeeze my hand, and I’ll help you.”
Her breath came fast, her nerves flaring. “I’m nervous.”
“Elspeth.” Zum took her shoulders, turned her, and placed a hand over her heart. “Be still. In here. Seek calm.” She sank into the water.
Elspeth followed and propped up on an elbow, her back to her best friend.
“Take a deep breath and go under. Blow the air out slowly and don’t inhale.”
She took a deep, openmouthed breath, closing her eyes as she sank under. Water plugged her ears, muting the glug of bubbles that sputtered from her as she started to exhale. The space in front of her brightened, and a warm blue colored her eyelids. It didn’t take long to empty her lungs, and a thread of panic coiled.
Zum’s hold tightened, her best friend’s hands cradling her breast and stomach, the hold motherly and reassuring. The water churned, the whooshing sound soothing her mind to blank. Her muscles seemed to relax, one by one, her pain sinking, its grasp loosening. Her mind and body floated, peaceful and stagnant, like a leaf in a puddle.
Something brushed over her, a gentle lapping at her skin, the water washing her, cleansing her, preparing her for some strange birth. She couldn’t feel her friend anymore. Water energy flowed away from her, Zum’s going into her, the two of them intertwined in this sacred elemental womb. Her temple pressed against something soft, and she sank into a bottomless void, floating down, down, down, toward a dark freedom.
A force yanked her up, her body breaking the surface of the water. Her breath went in, out, water flowing from her mouth. Zum eased up behind her, drawing her back against her chest, her hands wrapped around Elspeth’s ribs.
“Half an hour. That’s good. It’s what you needed.” Zum’s grip tightened as Elspeth’s body wrenched and fought for air.
“I can’t breathe.” She jerked and gasped, a spray of water projecting from her mouth like vomit. “Let me go. Let me—”
“Don’t fight me. Your Water will obey mine.” Zum shifted, her grip lifting Elspeth’s breasts, her hold ungodly strong. “The first time sucks, but your Water’s coming to heel, and I didn’t want to tell you the ending when the middle part’s so good.”
“Let me turn,” she sputtered, water draining out of her ears, her eyes, her mouth.
Zum loosened her hold ever so slightly. “I’m not sure what’s better, having full knowledge of what happens or going in unaware.”
“Did I take on water like a sinking ship?” Her ears finally popped, and her hearing cleared.
“It’s a good analogy, but I don’t fear drowning, because I know how to give myself up to my element. That’s what you did. You welcomed the water inside you, and you won’t encounter this resistance again. Be glad you’ll only have to go through this initial process once.”
Thank the Goddess.
She hugged Zum tighter, burrowing against her, so grateful for the friend she considered a sister.
“The Naturas survive by seeking succor from each other. You have never known the need, the urgency, whereas we normally have years to acclimate. I’m sorry this was frightening.” Zum’s words vibrated against Elspeth’s cheek. “I’ve shown your Water where to live inside you, and a switch has been flipped that you can’t undo. You will have to tend it now, and when it needs communion, if I’m not around, find any source you can submerge in, but there must not be anything between your element and you.”
Rivulets of water ran down her face, the trickle from her mouth slowing. “So I breathed in the water?”
Why hadn’t she choked or drowned?
“In a sense. Think of your body as a cup that was filled and then drained. Water enters everywhere it can until we’re full. Fires surround themselves in flames and don’t burn. Airs can walk straight into a funnel cloud. Earths bury themselves in dirt. You’ll have to honor all of your elements to keep them spiritually sound, and you’ll have to have sex with an element or its complement to fuel its strength.”
“I don’t want to be with anyone but Aleron.” She let her head loll and her eyes close, uncertain she could take hearing anymore truths. She glanced up at Zum. “You know I’m not completely ignorant of our ways, right? Like knowing there are lesser ways to regen without full-on sex?”
“I never thought you were ignorant. ‘Intentionally uninformed’ is a better term, and I’m sure you can thank Seanair for that. I shouldn’t have assumed anything and told you more.”
“Maybe. I should have demanded more for myself and asked.” She shrugged a shoulder. “A few years ago, I put a contract together for incompatible elements. She was a Fire, he was an Earth.”
“No shit?”
“No shit. Their families were prominent enough to be on the registry without being really powerful. Both families agreed because the two really loved each other. It was cool. One of the few true marriages for love I did. The contract, though, specified the details of the regen, that the other had to be in the room, watching. I glossed over some of the specifics because it felt like I turned into a peeping Elspeth, but I admired how they talked through everything and made sure they were comfortable. The love between them was incredible, but it was the total trust that they’d work through things that blew me away.”
“You mean if either one couldn’t handle the sex outside the marriage?”
“Yes. Who knows what happened in the years since, but yeah, that part of the contract was a big deal. All this is to say I’m not completely ill-informed. Even though I’ve been treated like I was a human for most of my life, as if I was a mutant thing that had slipped between the bars of the gates, I’m still a Natura. I’ve always been a Natura.”
“Of course you are.” Zum’s smile went from warm and understanding to wicked. “I can’t wait to watch you rub these assholes’ faces in it.”
Strangely, nothing inside her agreed with that idea. She’d expected the desire for payback to be a slow, calculated simmer, a gnawing need to punish those who’d sneered at her or, worse, simply ignored her existence. She felt nothing, or rather, it was more of a fog, a mist she’d have to wade through to figure out how she’d live as a Nexus. She needed time to process, but her elements seemed to recoil at the thought of revenge, as if they wanted her to do more, to do…better.
“I’m sorry. My brain’s all over the place.”
“Girlfriend, it’s called exhaustion. I don’t know if it’s different for a Nexus, but I can sense the lethargy of your Water and Earth. Once Seanair knows, I’m sure he’ll give you immediate access to a tender.” Zum’s cheek rested against her head, the two of them slouched like toy dolls. “Aleron knows what’s required. I’m sure he’s already thinking about the issue, but it’s a transaction, and you don’t have to be with the same person twice. It’s your choice. You do realize why they’re used?”
Since she’d never had to consider regenning, she hadn’t given any thought to why so many Alpha-level Naturas often recharged with Betas.
“Passives are element seed-passers who level-up power. I never spent time worrying about the kind of refuel sex I didn’t need to have.”
Zum sat up, the water swirling as she turned. “Betas only until you marry. Alphas don’t regen together unless they have absolute trust in the other. Power grabs are real. An Alpha seeking to multiply their energy can steal another’s with a one-way pull. The take without the give is the Natura equivalent of rape.”
The truth about Kindred’s full purpose settled over her, stealing her breath.
“That’s the reason for the contracts, for the guaranteed levels of power—the equalization clause—between the couples. I’ve basically been brokering agreements so one person’s not more powerful than the other. That they can refuel each other and enhance their power without the risk of theft.”
“Like sex, Kindred’s a necessity. There are also Alphas who engage in full, cyclic, honorable sex with their Betas.” Zum’s mouth pressed into a sad smile. “Because of who my mother is, because of who I’ll become, I have to be careful. You do too.”
She didn’t want to think about adding one more item to her list of things she’d have to beware of. “That’s terrible.”
“It is,” Zum agreed, resettling against her. “But with humans degrading the planet faster than we can fix it, many Naturas have tossed aside their morals to do whatever’s necessary to stay as strong as possible to fix the planet. That means mergers for power and pairing with partners you can trust.” Zum’s finger teased along the edge of the tub. “I get why you feel the way you do. Sex has become a vitamin we swallow, a necessary thing to keep us going when the true food’s finding our…perfect half. The person we want to come home to, the one we can be vulnerable with and truly let down our guard with.” She threaded her fingers through Elspeth’s. “Be careful if you’re physically with someone you don’t completely trust.”
“I will.” Frustration clawed at her insides. “Right now, it makes me ill to think of being with anyone but Aleron.”
Zum’s hand stroked over her hair, slow and steady. “We need two things to function: physical connection and prayer. Naturas don’t clutch their pearls at sex like prudish humans do.”
“I’m not being a prude. I’m…good Goddess, I don’t even date. I was about to get shipped off to some eager-to-procreate Russian, but I’ve found a man I want. Now you’re telling me I can’t have just him.”
“I’m not telling you anything, because you shouldn’t even exist, yet here you are, so we’ll figure it out as we go. But a couple pieces of advice.” Zum released her hold. “If you don’t want anyone to know who you’re sleeping with, check yourself after you recharge. Signatures linger, so you’ll want to conceal the energy you’ve taken in. I usually picture throwing a blanket over it, so it’s like a ghost only I can see.”
Goddess, she had so much to learn, and now there were sex ghosts?
“If I feel any more clueless, I’m going to lose it.” She closed her eyes, sinking into the comfort of their bodies being skin-to-skin, the contentment of being cared for lulling her into a near stupor. Exhaustion weighted her entire being, and her Fire and Air had resumed their crazed game of chase inside her. “How do I give someone power?”
Zum’s chin rested on top of her head. “I really do hate your grandfather. He should have at least educated you on more than the basics for your family’s elements.”
She had to acknowledge, after a lifetime of trying to hold a place for her grandfather, that she didn’t really know Seanair and wondered if she’d ever gotten any true affection from him or if he’d faked his way through her childhood. Her whole life suddenly seemed like a lie.
“I fear he’s done terrible things, but I can’t worry about that now. Do I have to do anything special during sex to refuel, or does it happen naturally?”
Images from last night with Aleron filled her mind. She wanted to go back to being an ordinary woman, back to being a nothing.
“When you’re almost there and you’re wound so tight you’re seeing stars, you’ll feel a push, like your energy wants out to go to your partner.” Zum’s serene tone was hypnotic, like gentle waves washing ashore. “Then you’ll sense a pull, like your body wants to take what it’s about to give. You know that moment right when you pitch over and it feels like something’s flown free inside you?”
“Yeah,” she answered, her mind replaying yesterday’s many moments with a man she couldn’t see living without.
“That’s when the energy cycling happens. And it’s…everything. No matter who you’re with, in that moment, you’re nothing but your element. It’s transcendent.”
She wondered what that would be like with Aleron but remembered the new rules.
“Even with someone you don’t really know?” Her heart fluttered, like it wanted to stop.
“Sweet friend, when you’re in that moment, you know everything about the one you’re with, which makes it beautiful and vulnerable.”
“Right now, I’m trying to keep Fire and Air from ripping up my insides.” And trying to keep the remnants of the small meal she’d had earlier in her stomach.
“Aleron can fix that problem.” Zum sat up, the water rocking and swirling, her expression solemn. “Your energy’s the most soothing I’ve ever felt. It’s even better than my mother’s. We may have to have regular Water sleepovers. My element’s at peace for the first time in a while.”
An idea occurred to her, though she wasn’t sure how it’d work.
“Maybe I can help Lach.” She recalled touching Rob Costa’s hand at the gala. He’d seemed to become more alert at the contact, though she hadn’t had any power then.
“E, I think it’s time you start accepting what’s coming.” Zum stood, water dripping down her body. “I’ve looked high and low for alternatives. It’s a long shot, and it’d be a stretch to find something that would actually help Lach. Have you consulted any witches or warlocks?”
“Seanair says all they can do is call elements. I’m not sure what good that would do. Although I don’t know him that well, I could ask Egan.” The young warlock had proven eager to help before.
“Seanair excels at telling others they’re not worthy. It’s time we think out of the box, and that’s the only one that came to mind.” Zum stepped from the tub and grabbed a towel off the bar.
Her gaze drew to her best friend’s thin legs, and her hand shot to her mouth. “Look at your thighs.” She got out, Zum handing her a towel, and went to her knees, tracing a finger from her friend’s ankle up to her inner thigh, the vein thick and blue. Several branches shot from the main one. The streaks reminded her of rivers. The ones on her breasts splayed like snowflakes.
“I need to go.” Zum dried off, a hint of irritation in her tone. “This happened after the last person I had sex with. I was a veined mess.”
“Did I do that?” She stood, fearing her power had a mind of its own.
“I have no control over the timing of when Water will decide I should take over from my mother. All true keepers of an element bear physical signs. Legend has it that’s how Mother Nature marked her chosen ones. I’m close to becoming the Water Magnus, but apparently the marks have to settle in permanently. It looks like my body’s going to be a roadmap of the rivers of my vascular system. Come here.” Zum pulled her into a tight embrace. “When Flora comes ba
ck, commune with her in a location of her choosing. Your Earth is better, but it needs someone of her power level to tame it.”
The ache in her lungs began to subside, but she hoped an Earth-communing ritual would entail rolling around in the leaves and nothing more.
She stopped Zum’s search for her clothes. “Hey, I need to thank you. That was…amazing.”
“That’s what the rite is for. I’m honored I’m the one who got to perform it with you.”
“I’ll never forget it.” She breathed into the calm, new bond with her best friend.
“I won’t either. Now that you’ve been through the best and the worst of it, we’ll have plenty more to talk about. Make sure you partake of every element. If you don’t, that’s when trouble starts.”
She followed Zum into the bedroom, wrapped in a towel as the petite Water got dressed.
“There’s a piece of good news you’re overlooking.” She sat on the carpet to put on her high-tops.
“What’s that?” Her mind drifted to lemon cake and last night.
“If you do for the Fire boy out there what you just did for me?” Zum smiled, nodding toward the living room. “You could be everything for him. You could calm his Air and answer the call of his Fire.”
She could…Goddess, after everything he’d done for her, she could finally be there for him.
“I want more than a regen with him.” She wanted her bestie to know exactly how she felt.
“Good, ’cause I’m pretty sure he feels the same.” She held up her hand and pointed to the bracelet on her wrist. “Either I’m getting pings of stress because this is taking so long and he wants in here, or he’s firing off a hurry-up code. EB’s set on broil. Best let him back in even though it’s fun as hell to mess with him.”
She followed Zum to the door, feeling like a toddler hounding a babysitter. “When will you be back? I have so much to learn.”
The Call of Fire: A Natura Elementals Novel Page 23