by Ned Rust
So here he was back on Ith away from his family and having no idea when or even if he’d ever see them again. But at least he had heard his mom’s and dad’s voices, and at least had seen a picture of the Twins. They were okay. And he was sure Neil and Carly and Eva and Lucie were fine. That was something, for sure.
And didn’t he care about Oma and all the others he’d met in the past two days—the poor people in collars and endangered griffins and giants and even Kempton and the big-eyed kids in the school? And therefore wasn’t the only thing now to be aware of—to be awake to—the fact that he might be able to do something to help them all?
Whether or not it was a dream, he either cared—and showed it by what he did—or he didn’t.
That was the answer. You cared about others—you gave them credit for being as real as you were—or you didn’t. That was all you could hope to know.
He sneezed just then, the sickly sweet stink of transcense smoke all over him.
Which reminded him that My-Chale and Oma had given him instructions to—what was it? He might at last be certain he was awake, but it sure was a very groggy and tired awake. And the sun was so awfully bright. He racked his brain. On Earth he was supposed to call Uncle Andrew and his parents. When he got back to Ith, assuming he came back to Ith, they’d said to—
The binky buzzed in his pants pocket. He pulled it out and saw Oma’s face in its screen.
“Remember, My-Chale told you to call the moment you got back,” she said.
“Sorry,” he said. “I think I’m a little disoriented from all this, umm, traveling.”
“Kind of like you just woke up, huh?” she said. He couldn’t see it very well but he could hear the smile in her voice, and it felt brighter than the sun on his face.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
I have had the good fortune to have made a career in the book industry for—at the time of my writing this—nearly eleven years. If you ever have the chance to join this ancient, mostly impecunious guild, I heartily recommend doing so. People in the book industry are—with a few exceptions we won’t dwell upon here—among the best people on Earth. They are well read. They are articulate. They are funny. They are wise. They are generous. They are self-effacing. In fact, they are SO self-effacing that they have pretty much effaced themselves from the public eye and to this day rarely draw credit to themselves, as is done in movies, plays, musical recordings, or video games. There tends to be but one name associated with a book, the author’s. And most of us go a long time (often forever) believing that one person—the author—has done the vast majority of the work. I don’t mean to be obnoxious in breaking with this genteel vision, but since I’m an author who’s labored behind the curtain and knows that every book in the modern era is a result of at least dozens of people and sometimes thousands of hours—and for what it’s worth buried here in the hindquarters of this manuscript—I’d like to give a Hollywood-style credit-roll to the very many people who took this author’s compulsive labors and made them into the hopefully readable book you now possess.
Director (editor) Connie Hsu
Producer (finding of editor, publishing house, legal counsel) Cindy Eagan
Executive Producers (our judicious financiers) Jonathan Yaged, Simon Boughton, and the Macmillan Finance Team
Cinematography Jake Parker and Elizabeth Clark
Strategic Adviser Bart Rust
Title Inspirer Anneka Rust
Script Advisers Allison Devlin, Steve Westrum, John Cote, Bill Robinson, Lexi Preiser, Lauren Wohl, Pat Strachan, Maya Packard, Linda Jamison, Fiona Brown, Martha Stillman Otis
Unit Directors Emily Feinberg and Kate Jacobs
Distribution The Mighty Macmillan Sales Force and Your Dedicated, Discriminating Local Bookseller
Location Scouting (finder of exciting places for this book to go) Liz Fithian and the Roaring Brook Publicity Team
Sound Engineers The Macmillan Audio Team
International & Licensing Holly Hunnicutt
Set Design & Production Jill Freshney, Karla Reganold, and Production Teams
Birthday-Sharer with Mr. Griffin Dick Van Zile
Mr. Rust’s Hair, Wardrobe, Makeup, & Emotional State Ruth Rust
Productivity Adviser to Mr. Rust James Patterson
Caterers Sean Ford, Victoria Stapleton, Craig Young
Special Interpreters for Mr. Rust Jonathan Lyons, Sean Fodera
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Ned Rust is the co-author of two books in the Daniel X series and Witch and Wizard: The Gift with James Patterson. He lives in Croton, New York, with his wife, son, and daughter. You can sign up for email updates here.
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CONTENTS
TITLE PAGE
COPYRIGHT NOTICE
DEDICATION
EPIGRAPH
PART I: INNOCENTS
1. THE BETTER PART OF NEGLECT
2. CAT’S AWAY
3. WAFFLES REDUX
4. FIRST DAWNINGS
5. OBSERVABLE PHENOMENA
6. UNIQUE QUALIFICATIONS
7. A DIFFERENT SORT OF HOMECOMING
8. A PLACE OF SENSE
9. SORRY, WRONG HOUSE
10. SECOND THOUGHTS
11. SERVICE OUTAGE
12. KEEPING UP APPEARANCES
13. DAUGHTERLY SUPPORT
14. MASSIVE MULTIPLAYER
15. HOUSEHOLD ODORS
16. TWINNING
PART II: INTERLOPERS
17. MAPS & ANTS
18. ADEPT INTERCEPT
19. INTRO TO MODERN CHEMISTRY
20. LIFE & DEATH IN THE BUSH
21. THE FIRST OF LASTERS
22. CRACKIN’ UP
23. PAIN IN THE GRASS
24. FOUR-CHILD GARAGE
25. SANNYTATION
26. ROADSIDE ASSISTANCE
27. WHAT MEETS THE EYE
28. SUNSHOWER
29. THE HISTORY OF ITH, V. 12.17
30. FIELD OPERATIONS
31. THE COLOR CRIMSON
32. IXNAY ON THE ODENTRAYS
33. BASELINE CONDITIONS
34. LOCO PARENTIS
35. TALKING TO GIRLS
PART III: IMPRESARIOS
36. SITUATIONAL ASSESSMENT
37. A SPY IN THE HOUSE OF PUBER
38. YOUTHFUL FOLLOWINGS
39. ATTITUDES ON GRATITUDE
40. CHILDREN AND FOOLS
41. TO SLEEP, PERCHANCE TO DREAM
42. BACKUP DRIVER
43. BIGGY PACKING
44. COURSE CORRECTION
45. TO DREAM, PERCHANCE TO SLEEP
46. EXECUTIONAL ASSESSMENT
47. UNDERGROUND MOVEMENTS
48. STAY CLOSE
49. HANGING ON THE LINE
50. PROVING GROUND
51. SIBLING RELATIONS
52. SITE SEEING
53. TWIN TAILINGS
54. THE DREAMER’S DODGE
55. POINT OF SOME RETURN
56. FOSSE AUX LIONS
57. SURREPTITIOUS RETURNS
58. REMOTE CONTROL
59. MOMMA DON’T PLAY NO GAMES
60. LONG-DISTANCE COMMUNICATIONS
61. A FLOCK OF GRIFFINS
62. SHORT-DISTANCE COMMUNICATIONS
63. FOOL ME ONCE
64. WAKEY WAKEY
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
&
nbsp; COPYRIGHT
Text copyright © 2016 by Ned Rust
Illustrations copyright © 2016 by Jake Parker
Published by Roaring Brook Press
Roaring Brook Press is a division of Holtzbrinck Publishing Holdings Limited Partnership
175 Fifth Avenue, New York, New York 10010
mackids.com
All rights reserved
The Library of Congress has cataloged the print edition as follows:
Names: Rust, Ned. | Parker, Jake, 1977– illustrator.
Title: Patrick Griffin’s last breakfast on earth / Ned Rust; illustrations by Jake Parker.
Description: First edition. | New York: Roaring Brook Press, 2016. | Series: Patrick Griffin and the three worlds; Book 1 | Summary: “A 12-year-old boy sets out on a crazy adventure through parallel worlds and learns he and a giant bunny are the key to saving the universe”—Provided by publisher.
Identifiers: LCCN 2015017843 | ISBN 9781626723429 (hardback) | ISBN 9781626723436 (e-book)
Subjects: | CYAC: Fantasy. | Space and time—Fiction. | Heroes—Fiction. | BISAC: JUVENILE FICTION / Action & Adventure / General. | JUVENILE FICTION / Humorous Stories. | JUVENILE FICTION / Fantasy & Magic.
Classification: LCC PZ7.1.R875 Pat 2016 | DDC [Fic]—dc23
LC record available at http://lccn.loc.gov/2015017843
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eISBN 9781626723436
First hardcover edition, 2016
eBook edition, August 2016