by Janice Hardy
Maybe, but I was tired of maybes.
I wasn’t a Healer, but I could trade my life for theirs, and do it without hurting anyone who didn’t deserve it. I looked at the painting again. I knew what Grannyma would do. What Mama and Papa had done. I had to save the ones I loved.
I’m sorry, Tali. I didn’t want to leave her, but if they had me, they had no reason to hurt her. And if they were gone, there’d be no one to hurt the rest. I was only sorry Vinnot wasn’t here.
“I accept your offer,” I said, smiling at Zertanik. “I’d be delighted to flash this for you.”
He beamed and actually rubbed his palms together.
I closed my eyes, pressed my hands against the Slab, and pictured three dandelions blowing in the wind.
TWENTY-THREE
Pain exploded from the Slab, slamming me back against a bookcase. Fine sand stung my eyes, my skin, ripped my hair back like a gale. Zertanik and the Luminary screamed, then fell silent, their anguished wails swept away by the roar. Wood creaked, then cracked, and splinters showered me seconds before the gale lessened and I dropped face-first to the ground.
I lay for hours…days…seconds…I had no idea. My head thumped almost as fast and hard as my heart. My fingers were cold in a way I’d never felt before. The rest of me was just numb.
Why wasn’t I dead?
Something cool and sharp covered my eyes, and I brushed it away, wincing as flecks scratched the tender skin. I brushed more gently, flicking away bits that felt like cold salt. I opened my eyes and blinked at the white crystals melting on my fingers.
Ice? Grannyma had told us about ice. From the stories her grannyma told her when they were mountain folk. It fell from the sky like rain when it was cold. Tali had laughed, not believing her. It never got that cold in Geveg.
It was cold now though. Shiverflesh rippled down my body and I shivered. I rubbed my arms. They were coated with ice, same as my eyes had been. I reached to pull my collar tighter, and shredded cloth slipped between my fingers. A tickle of icy water ran down my scalp, my back, my—
Saints! Where were my clothes?
Cold and shock pushed the last of the fuzziness out of my head. Aylin’s dress was gone, nothing but frayed tatters around the cuffs and collar. My sandals were still there, but the top straps were snapped. And that blue thing next to me was…
The Slab.
I reached out and touched it. Warm, like skin, despite the chill all around it. More warmth against my back. I glanced over my shoulder. Late-afternoon sun poured in through shattered windows, and dust and bits of fabric floated around the room. Broken glass littered the floor. The carpets were threadbare under the Slab, long scraped areas radiating outward like paint sanded off a hull. Ice covered everything in a white sheen.
“He-hello?” I squeaked, my voice unrecognizable. I didn’t see Zertanik or the Luminary, but the room was in pieces, same as my clothes. Everything had been shoved away from the Slab with the same force that had thrown me against the bookcase. Furniture was crushed along the walls, paintings hung in strips over shattered tables and chairs. Even Grannyma’s portrait was gone.
A warm breeze blew. The curtains were missing. Part of the roof too, and chipped stones lay gathered with the rest of the debris. A fine red mist coated the far wall and, underneath, torn silk in bright colors. Stuck to a cracked brick, a chunk of frost-covered hair shone black in the sun.
Zertanik’s.
There was nothing else left of him. He’d disintegrated, same as the pynvium chunks I’d flashed one too many times. I didn’t want to look for the Luminary, but my gaze went to everything green just the same. Not far from what was left of Zertanik, a single braided gold bar poked out from between a desk and a broken statue. The same red mist coated the wall behind it.
Oh, Saints! That was blood.
I gagged, forced myself to breathe. Pressed my hands against my face until the world stopping spinning.
Why wasn’t I dead too?
I had to get out of there. I crawled to my knees and scanned the wreckage for the double doors, suddenly so far away. The way out was there, under all the death.
“Nya!”
A man’s voice, outside somewhere. Familiar, but not Danello. Not Soek. I tried to call back, but all that came out was a raspy squeak. Everything swirled around me, silvery flecks dancing, tunneling down just like they had that day on the bridge, after I’d shifted into the fisherman. I stumbled, fell. Glass bit into my knees.
A loud thump, and a wall of debris on the right moved. The remains of the sofa Zertanik had sat on toppled to the floor. Another thump, and a strip of light shone through.
“Is anyone there?”
“Here,” I wheezed.
Hard thumps and cracks sounded, and the strip widened to a shaft, then to a door. Blue and gold suddenly filled it, bright spots on the silver dancing around my vision.
“Nya?” A man. In the doorway. “Saints, Nya, what happened?”
I tried to answer, but the words wouldn’t come. I knew this face, this man, but the name wouldn’t come either.
He took off his shirt and pulled it over my head, threading my arms through like I’d done to Tali when she was little. He held my face, searched me with worried eyes. His chest was bare. He had a lot of scars. “Can you hear me?”
I nodded. Then the swirling silver took over and washed me away.
I woke in sunshine. It shone through tall windows all around me; and outside the windows, the lake sparkled like nothing bad had happened today. The need to have that be true almost outweighed my fear of where I was. Of who I’d killed—and how.
Of how I’d survived it.
Aches and pains pinched me all over as I sat up. I was in a sunroom, on a soft chaise next to a table with a vase of bright pink violets. Blue silk soothed my bruises, and I tugged at a shirt too large for me. When had I last worn silk?
“Good, you’re finally awake.”
I screamed and pressed back against the chaise. Jeatar stood in the doorway.
“Stay away from me!”
He held up his hands, palms out. “Nya, you’re safe. I’m not going to hurt you.”
I had no weapons except the small vase that probably wouldn’t hurt all that much if I threw it. Maybe I could grab a chair, but they were wrought iron, and looked heavier than I was.
“Where am I?” I asked. I’d have to talk my way out of this, though that had never worked with Jeatar before.
“Zertanik’s home. It was empty and close.”
It all came back to me. His offer, his threats, the Slab. The fine red mist and bits of hair. The room shifted sideways.
“Easy now, take deep breaths.” Jeatar was suddenly there, holding me up.
“I killed them.”
“You did.” He looked as perplexed as I felt. “I don’t know what happened. The Luminary’s office wing just…fell apart. The whole League shook.” He eased me back onto the chaise, then went and poured a glass of water. “What did you do?” he asked cautiously as he handed me the glass.
I didn’t want to answer that. I didn’t even want to think about it, though the truth kept screaming in my head. I drank, realizing he also wore a shirt too large for him. He had given me his. Dressed me. Saints and sinners! He’d seen me naked! I couldn’t look at him, my cheeks hot as the sunbeams coming through the windows. “What did you do with the apprentices? With Tali and the others?”
“I let them go. The mob was a bit distracted by parts of the League suddenly exploding, but once they saw the apprentices and heard their story, they got right back to trying to burn things down. The Governor-General’s soldiers finally got the mob under control, but it’s tense out there. It’s going to be a rough night for everyone.”
“You were going to kill them. The apprentices.”
He shook his head. “No. I just needed Zertanik and the Luminary to think so.”
“Why?”
He sighed. “So I could catch them doing what I was pretty sure
they were going to do.”
“Steal the Slab.”
He seemed surprised. “Yes.”
“Who are you?”
“I work for the Duke’s—”
I jumped up, swayed, and nearly fell. “Let me out of here, right now!”
“Nya, listen, please. I work for the Duke, but that doesn’t mean I follow him. I’m an investigator for the Pynvium Consortium.”
The Pynvium Consortium? They controlled the pynvium mines, employed the enchanters. They held so much power even the Duke wouldn’t risk defying them. “I don’t understand.”
“Pynvium has been disappearing all over Baseeri territory. Shipments coming up short, or getting lost. The shortage is real, but I don’t think it’s natural. Someone is stealing it.”
“Zertanik and the Luminary.”
“That’s what we suspected, but we couldn’t prove it. The last Healers’ League the Luminary was posted to also had a mysterious shortage. It was blamed on a clerical error, but the Duke was sure he was up to something. When Zertanik closed up shop and followed the Luminary here, I came too. I got a job working for Zertanik so I could find out what they were up to.”
I set the glass down. “What about me?”
“You were”—he paused—“unexpected. And you almost ruined the whole thing.”
“You kidnapped me.”
“I’m sorry. I tried to talk Zertanik out of that, but after the ferry accident, he found out about you and the shifting from his spies at the League. He saw a way to make more money and an easy way to get out of Geveg.”
“The Mustovos’ boat.”
Now he really looked surprised. “How did you know that?”
“He wanted me to heal their son. I refused, and the father said something about a boat. Kione overheard the Luminary say they planned to sail away.” I shrugged. “It all fits.”
“Zertanik said you were a lot smarter than you looked.”
I wasn’t sure how to take that. “So what did you find out?” I asked. My knees were shaking so hard Jeatar probably noticed. Wasn’t like I had anything to cover them up with.
“Probably the same things you did. Vinnot was testing apprentices by overloading them with pain. It doesn’t have anything to do with the pynvium, but it does have something to do with the Duke.”
“He’s trying to find unusual Takers.”
Jeatar paled, looking downright shocked. “He’s what? Why?”
“I honestly don’t know.” Whatever it was, he didn’t seem to want the Luminary to know about it either. That suggested the Duke’s plan was bigger than what I’d thought. “I need to go,” I said, though it was hard to stand.
“Nya, what did you do up there?”
“Do you think there’s anything in the closets that would fit me?”
“Nya.”
“I’m sure Tali is worried sick right now. She might even think I’m dead. I’m going to go find my sister.” Saints, how often had I said those words this week?
“I sent someone to bring her here—it’s just taking longer than expected.”
“I don’t care. I have to go find her.”
“I know, but I can’t let you leave here. It’s not safe.”
“Nowhere is safe for me anymore.”
He sighed and pushed both hands through his hair. “Lanelle told people you could flash,” he said sharply. “There’s even a rumor you can empty pynvium. She was babbling to everyone at the League who would listen.”
My knees gave out, and I dropped onto the chaise.
“I grabbed her and scared her enough to keep her quiet for a while, but she won’t stay quiet for long. Your secret is out there now, Nya. If the Duke hears this, even if it’s not true, he’ll send his best trackers after you.”
“I know.”
“I’m not sure what the Consortium would do either.”
“But you work for them.”
He shrugged. “I take the jobs I can find.”
I pressed my hands against my face. I didn’t know what to do. I hadn’t expected to have to do anything ever again.
“Nya,” he said softly. “What did you do in the Luminary’s office?”
What had I done? Killed two men. Flashed enough pynvium to destroy a whole wing. And survived it. Saints! I’d survived it! “I can’t tell you. You know I can’t.”
He stared at me a moment, then nodded. “Yeah, I guess you’re right,” he said wryly. “But I really want to know for sure.”
There were so many things I wanted to know too. I lifted my head. This wasn’t over yet, much as I wished it was. “Do you know who I shifted to before? All those people? The fisherman?”
He gaped, obviously caught off guard, then nodded. “There are records.”
“Does Zertanik have any of that stolen pynvium here?”
“Yes. I found some when you were asleep.”
“I need it. Plus the names and addresses of those I shifted into. I want to leave as soon as Tali gets here.”
To his credit, he didn’t even hesitate. “I’ll get it. And I’ll see if I can find anything for you to wear.”
“Thanks.” I shouldn’t trust him, but I wanted to. I needed to. He’d had no reason to keep my name a secret before, but he had. He could have taken me right to the Governor-General when I was unconscious, but he’d hidden me away.
He brought me clothes and showed me to a washroom to change. Zertanik’s home was just as opulent as his office. How much of it had been stolen? Or was it all just purchased with stolen wealth?
As I was combing out the last of my fake Healer’s braid, voices drifted in through the door. Very demanding voices. I left the washroom and headed for the sunroom.
“…to know where my sister is!” Tali was yelling as I walked in. Aylin and Danello were with her, but I didn’t see Soek.
“Nya!” Tali raced to me, and once again, we were all hugging and laughing and crying. Jeatar didn’t stare, just watched with a sad smile on his face. He lifted a hand and scratched the back of his neck, and his too-large sleeve slid back, revealing a long scar on his inner forearm.
Just like his chest.
I chilled at the memory and tried not to look at him. I work for the Duke, but that doesn’t mean I follow him. How had he earned those scars? Had he faced Baseeri blue and lost, just like we had?
“Where’s Soek?” I asked. “Looters didn’t hurt him, did they?”
“He’s fine,” said Aylin. “He guarded my room just like he said he would. The Governor-General wants to question all the apprentices, so he went with some soldiers. Soek’s telling him what the Luminary did.” She held out her hands as I started to speak. “And no, he’s not going to say one word about you. He promised.”
“What happened, Nya?” Tali said. “You vanished just as we were about to escape. Then Jeatar shows up and we think we’re under arrest, but he hides us and then there was a huge noise and stuff started falling from the ceiling. They’re saying the Luminary is dead!”
I winced. “There’s no time to explain. We have people we need to heal.”
“What people?”
I pulled Tali toward the door. Jeatar had dropped a sack next to it.
“Danello, grab that sack, please. It’s full of pynvium.”
“Pynvium?” He looked puzzled but picked it up as asked.
Jeatar handed me a list. “The fisherman’s name is at the top.”
“Thanks.” I dragged Tali out of the room and headed for the front entrance. Danello and Aylin followed, both asking questions I wished I could ignore.
“Is the Luminary really dead?” Tali whispered.
I shoved open the door and blinked in the late-afternoon sun. How long had I’d been asleep? Hours at least. “He is.”
“How?”
I didn’t want to tell them, shouldn’t tell them. They were safer not knowing, but I’d kept so many secrets, told so many lies, and I didn’t want to do it anymore.
“They told me if I didn’t help th
em steal the Slab, they’d kill you and all the apprentices.”
Gasps all around. Not about killing the apprentices—that wasn’t new—but stealing the Slab was. A Slab full of pain was worth almost as much as an empty one.
I glanced at the League’s spires in the distance, hazy behind the smoke. It was faint now, which hopefully meant the fires were almost out. I could barely see the League above the rooftops, but one section did look broken away, as if something with lots of teeth had taken a large bite out of it.
“Nya?” Danello said. “What happened?”
“Hmm? Oh, they wanted me to empty it, and they planned to melt it into smaller bricks to sell.”
“I don’t understand,” said Aylin. “What does this have to do with hurting the apprentices?”
“Nothing.”
“Nya,” Tali said, yanking her hand from mine. She stopped and shoved both fists on her hips. “For the love of Saint Saea, what is going on? I’m not moving an inch until you explain.”
I bit my lip. I didn’t like it, but I guessed it was time to tell them everything. How I’d gotten the pynvium. What I had done to Zertanik and the Luminary. And most of all, the truth I didn’t want to face.
I was immune to flashed pain.
“Well, Nya?” Tali asked.
I turned around. This was not going to be easy.
TWENTY-FOUR
“So I told him I’d be delighted to empty it for him, and I flashed it.” I finished, then held my breath. There were few people in the street outside Zertanik’s, and no one even bothered to glance at us as they passed. I guess the rich folks were staying locked up tight until the riots were over.
“Wow,” Danello said, too softly for me to tell how he felt about the whole mess. “It didn’t kill you?”
“No.”
“So you’re…?”
“Yeah.”
“Wow.”
Aylin wasn’t so impressed. “You helped a pain merchant hurt people?”
“I didn’t. I healed them—”
“You gave their pain to people when you knew it would kill them.” She glared at me, and I felt sick all over again. “You knew, and you did it anyway.”