‘Who did you tell?’ asked Serena.
‘Your mother.’
36.
OCTOBER 2015
‘He rang me up. We’d just got back from dance class, hadn’t we, Brian? He said, “Stephanie, it’s Sebastian. I need to talk to you about Luna.”
‘ “Luna? ” I asked, my heart pounding. “Have you seen her? ”
‘ “Yes,” he told me. “We’re going out with each other again. She didn’t want me to tell anyone, in case that thug of an ex-boyfriend tracked her down.”
‘ “What ex-boyfriend ? ”
‘ “The one who battered her. The one she escaped from. Listen, I think it’s really affected her. She’s depressed. She’s started to self-harm. I’m worried about whether she can care for the baby,” he said.
‘ “Oh, my Lord,” I said. Brian had to get me a chair so I could sit down. “Seb,” I said to him. “The baby isn’t hers.” Poor Seb, another innocent victim in all of this. I explained everything to him, about the surrogacy and her disappearing. He told me where they were, gave me directions, and suggested I just get there and confront her. Better not to give her a chance to escape beforehand. So Brian and I left the following day – drove all the way. When we got there, Brian stayed in the car and I went in and we had the most almighty row.
‘I was worried about the baby as she was crying. So I took her out to Brian and he cuddled her in the car. Luna was going mad and Seb had to restrain her, didn’t you? Then she just dissolved into tears. Seb stayed with her, while I dashed about picking up whatever I thought the baby might need. We’ve got a cot for her – it’s in the car. Then Luna ran into the bathroom and locked herself in. We knew what she was doing. It pains me to say it, but we called the mental health authorities.’
‘What happened then?’ asked Serena.
‘She was sectioned.’
‘And now?’ Will asked.
‘She’s in a special unit, getting treatment in Inverness. I explained to her through the bathroom door that we were going to return the baby to her rightful parents. I think she knew, really, that it was inevitable. It’s the genes, you know,’ Stephanie said.
‘What do you mean?’ Serena asked, stroking the baby’s cheek as she dozed on her shoulder.
‘You know your father was a Barnardo’s child? Well, he and his twin brother looked their mother up years later and it transpired she suffered with a personality disorder. They never met – Arthur didn’t want to meet her. But it was clear she’d always been quite unstable. I look back now and realise how moody Luna was, even as a little girl. Moody and impulsive and quite ruthless. Do you remember Elizabeth?’ Serena nodded, recalling the long-ago incident when her sister had stolen her doll.
‘Mind you, I thought she’d improved. Think she just got better at hiding it, don’t you?’
‘Yes,’ whispered Serena.
‘How I wish I’d warned you against the surrogacy at the time. I was worried. I started to tell you it wasn’t a good idea, but you didn’t want to hear, and I’d learnt the hard way not to interfere in your lives when I’d told Seb about Freddie. I was in such trouble about that. Anyway, I suppose it’s as well I didn’t talk you out of it in the long run, or we wouldn’t have this gorgeous baby here . . . But let’s not dwell any longer. It’s three o’clock in the morning. Time we all went to bed. We can carry on talking tomorrow,’ Stephanie said, stifling a yawn.
‘Good idea,’ said Will. ‘And we must find beds for you all. There are plenty. But just a couple more things,’ he added. ‘Stephanie, why did Luna tell us we were expecting a boy?’
‘To make herself harder to trace, I’d have thought. You were looking for a woman with a baby boy, after all,’ she replied.
‘Of course . . . And Stephanie, what’s her name? The baby? It seems a bit late in the day to change it.’
‘She’s called Winter,’ smiled Stephanie. ‘A Christmas baby, remember?’
‘How could we ever forget?’
37.
OCTOBER–NOVEMBER 2015
T he week that followed was full of excitement, disturbed sleep while Winter settled in, and a little sadness too.
‘She’s ten months old, Will. She’ll be walking soon. I’m so unbelievably grateful to have her at all, but I can’t help feeling a bit of grief for those precious lost months. And what about the legal side of things? We’ll still need to get a parental order, won’t we?’
‘I’ll contact our lawyer and find out what we need to do. Don’t worry about it though, my darling. I’m sure it’ll all be straightforward now.’ He sighed. ‘I know what you mean about the lost months though – I feel the same. But at least she’s here. And healthy. And she’s taken to you. Just look at her.’ Winter was in Serena’s arms, being fed her bottle, looking up at her true mother adoringly. It probably helped that Serena looked identical to the only mother Winter had known until now.
‘Yes,’ Serena said, smiling. ‘And I was thinking, we must get her christened. When shall we do it?’
‘I think we need to have a period of calm first, let everything settle down. Stephanie and Brian are leaving tomorrow, but we’ve invited them for Christmas so why don’t we have the christening then? Maybe on Christmas Eve?’
‘Perfect!’ Serena agreed and Winter batted away the bottle, looked up at her mum and smiled, a little dimple in each cheek, her eyes a deep sapphire blue.
It was early November and the household had settled into a new routine with Winter, who was a highly sociable and amusing little character. She laughed like a drain at the smallest of prompts, wrinkling her nose with amusement, and everyone in the house loved her, even Mrs Pipe.
‘She favours her father,’ she’d said on meeting her. ‘Reverend Blacksmith through and through, this nipper, and right lusty she is too,’ she’d added, remarking on her chubby cheeks.
Winter took the adoration in her stride and had taken a particular shine to Pete. One chilly November afternoon, he arrived in the kitchen to find Serena feeding Winter in the new high chair, while Will cooked supper.
‘Hi, Pete,’ said Will. ‘Are you joining us for supper later?’ He twisted pepper onto the marinated chicken in front of him on the central work table.
‘Please. Actually, I’ve got some news,’ he said, scraping back a chair and plonking himself down. ‘I’ve got meself a job,’ he told them, smiling proudly. ‘You’d have thought it weren’t possible for an ex-con to find a place to live or a decent job if you listened to the screws, but it turns out there are some proper nice people out there. You’ve both been too good to me, but it’s all changed now for you. You’re a family all of a sudden. Time for me to move on.’
‘You know you’d be welcome to stay regardless,’ said Serena. ‘But it’s fantastic news you’ve found a job. That’s next on the agenda for me too. I’m going to train to be a midwife at long last. What are you going to be doing?’ she asked, spooning yogurt into Winter’s mouth. She was a good eater, if a bit of a messy one.
‘Landscape gardener for a small set-up in South Devon. I had the interview through Skype and I ’fessed up to me past, but the geezer wasn’t bothered. I’d already emailed him some plans and ideas, and those before and after photos of the Vicarage garden. That was enough for him. He’s going to let me a cottage too.’
‘Whereabouts in South Devon?’ asked Will.
‘Thatchley, the town’s called. Never heard of it, but it’s not too far from Totnes, he said.’
‘Thatchley? I know it!’ said Will. ‘Some old friends of ours live in a little village nearby – Potter’s Cove. We’re inviting them to the christening, so I’ll introduce you. You will still be here for it?’
‘Wouldn’t miss little Winnie’s big day, would I, darlin’?’ he asked, tickling Winter’s feet. She giggled. ‘I’ll stay till just after Chrimbo, if that’s alright? Job starts in the new year.’
‘We’ll miss you,’ said Serena, getting up and giving him a kiss. ‘But you’re right. A fresh start for
us all. A proper one this time. And, talking of which, I must get on. I’m meeting Alice at the pub to find out what’s happening with her and Rob. Are you happy to take over?’ she asked Will, offering him Winter’s spoon, but Pete took it instead and pulled up a chair to finish the feeding fest.
38.
NOVEMBER 2015
Alice was already installed in a booth near the fire when Serena arrived. She jumped up and gave Serena a kiss, smelling as she always did – of Chanel No. 5, that timeless classic that suited her so well.
‘I’ve got you a sherry,’ she said to Serena. ‘I remembered you saying it’s your tipple at this time of year. Is that okay?’ she asked.
‘Perfect,’ said Serena, taking a sip. ‘Now, tell me. What on earth’s going on? Are you seriously going back to Rob? Why the change of heart?’
‘I know, I know . . . I totally see why it must seem crazy to you. We’re going to give it another try. I probably look like a complete mug, but – as ever with these things – it’s complicated.’
‘I really like Rob, don’t get me wrong,’ Serena said, taking another warming sip of sherry. ‘But I just hope he’s learnt his lesson this time . . .’
‘So do I, but I think finally leaving him was the best thing I ever did. Not just because it taught him a lesson and showed him I was serious, but because it’s enabled me to go back to being me again. The “me” I was when we first fell in love with each other.’
‘I must admit, you do seem to have changed quite a bit since you left him.’
‘Not really changed,’ Alice explained. ‘Actually, probably just reverted slightly to the person Rob fell in love with.’ She looked into her vodka and tonic and sighed.
‘How did you meet?’ asked Serena, realising she didn’t know anything about their early days as a couple.
‘I was in my thirties and working as an events planner in London. You’ll probably find this hard to believe but I’m actually from a very working-class background. I got a scholarship to a boarding school in Kent for my sixth form and made friends with all the right people. Most of the Berrywood pupils went to university but some of us found jobs in London – doing things like events planning. My friend Suzie had all the right contacts and so my career began with her help. Every year we were tasked with planning the medics’ ball for the doctors and nurses at St Thomas’s. If you planned the damned thing, then you had to be there for it and this particular ball was always a total scream. Doctors and nurses are the naughtiest lot. I should have known then,’ Alice said, smiling wryly at Serena.
‘Anyway, I met Rob; we got together. I was a completely different person back then. Chubby, with wavy hair I didn’t know what to do with: I looked like another person. And, thinking back, I felt like a different person too. Carefree. At ease. A joie de vivre that’s sadly evaporated somewhat as the years have passed. But – and this is cringingly embarrassing to admit – I didn’t even sound the same!’
‘What do you mean?’ asked Serena.
‘I still had a pretty rough accent back then, despite my time at Berrywood. When I realised Rob and I were serious, I had elocution lessons.’
‘But why?’ asked Serena, amazed at the lengths Alice had gone to.
‘It was the other doctors’ wives and girlfriends – the WAGs. As soon as I met them, I realised I was another species. So my campaign began to stamp out as much of the real Alice as I possibly could. Now, I’m not saying that Rob has been justified in having all these affairs, but what I can admit is that Rob married the person he fell in love with, and that person was quickly usurped by a much classier individual. And the trouble is, of course, that trying so hard to be someone you’re not makes you tense, anxious, a perfectionist. I transformed myself beautifully. But, looking back, I was a victim of my own success.’
‘So what happened to make you realise all this?’ asked Serena.
‘It was leaving Rob and moving into a house not dissimilar to the one I grew up in. No longer feeling the pressure to conform, to be the perfect doctor’s wife. I started to allow bits of the old Alice back. And I liked it. I liked me. And then I realised: Rob had liked me too. The old Alice, I mean. So it seems only fair I give both of us a chance to let her back into our lives.’
Serena sat back in the booth and smoothed her wild curls. ‘Alice, it all makes perfect sense,’ she told her friend. ‘And I so hope it all works out for you. I really do.’
‘Thank you,’ Alice said. ‘So do I . . . But enough about me. I want a proper low-down on everything to do with getting Winter back. Oh, Serena,’ she said, ‘it really has ended so perfectly for you.’
39.
NOVEMBER 2015
T he following night was a rare evening alone for Serena. Well, not entirely alone. Winter was asleep in her cot and Paddington was guarding the nursery door, mistakenly believing her role in life was to be a guard cat to the rowdy newcomer. Daft, but rather sweet. Will was visiting Miss Dawson, who’d received bad news about a relative. It wasn’t great timing for Will, who just wanted to be with his new family at the moment, but Miss Dawson had seemed unusually vulnerable when she’d called. Will knew that, despite her outward attitude, she was a lonely old thing and as fragile as any other human being beneath the tough exterior. Pete, meanwhile, was having supper up the road with the Colonel and Jake Hardy, while Ashna and Max had just headed to the pub for the evening.
Serena checked on Winter again, then made her way down the grand staircase. She could hear thunder: a storm rolling in, then a sudden clatter of vicious rain on the windowpanes. A momentary flash of lightning threw the hall into sudden brightness, making it look flood-lit.
Serena turned on lights, then threw another log into the wood burner in the hall. She was going to spend the evening making plans for the christening, but was distracted by the sight of the piano and realised she hadn’t played since the Harvest Supper. She sat down at the stool and let her fingers brush the cool ivory keys. Then she began. A few scales to warm up, then a couple of her favourites, including Beethoven’s ‘Moonlight Sonata’.
It was halfway through Rachmaninov’s Sonata No. 1 that it happened. She was playing, oblivious, her eyes closed as she moved to the dramatic music, which seemed to merge with the claps of thunder that boomed out louder and louder until the storm was overhead. She had no idea it was coming. All at once, she felt herself being catapulted forward, whacking her head on the piano.
‘What the . . . ?’ she exclaimed, jumping up, her heart pounding as she turned to face her assailant. Her forehead was throbbing, but she was too afraid to feel the pain.
Luna. There, right in front of her and soaked to the bone – her hair bedraggled and her eyes wild. Not safely incarcerated in a psychiatric unit in Inverness but at the Vicarage, where Serena and Winter were all alone.
‘Where’s my baby?’ Luna asked, her eyes glittering dangerously.
‘She’s not yours. You know that. How did you find us?’ asked Serena, shaking. But Luna didn’t stop to answer. She was off up the stairs, quick as a flash, Serena blundering after her.
‘Stop!’ Serena shouted, as Luna dashed in and out of bedrooms until, finally, hearing a sleepy cry, she shoved Serena out of the way and pushed open the door of the nursery. She stood still then, quietly watching the baby stir. Another flash of lightning.
‘You have to leave!’ Serena whispered in agitation. ‘Will’s going to be home any minute.’ She was panicking and in truth she had no idea when he’d be home. Luna ignored her. She looked the same as she always had, but there was something about her that was different from when Serena had last set eyes on her. Something raw, and quite unbelievably frightening.
‘I’m not leaving without my baby,’ Luna whispered back, her eyes gleaming in the half-light of the room.
‘She’s not yours.’
‘I’m the one who carried her, gave birth to her, cared for her, fed her, got up for her through the night for ten months of her life . . .’
‘And I’m the o
ne who should have been doing those things. Luna, don’t you see? Don’t you see what a terrible thing you did? We trusted you and you stole our baby. You’ve always tried to take everything that’s mine, but you’re not having her. You’re not having Winter!’ Serena shouted now, her mother’s instinct in full force, not caring any longer if she woke the baby.
They didn’t hesitate. They both lunged for the cot, but Luna was stronger. Serena felt like she was falling in slow motion. She watched as Ashna appeared from nowhere to grab Winter, before the back of her head hit the nursery floor with a loud thump. Then, just darkness.
40.
NOVEMBER 2015
Serena awoke from a deep, groggy sleep. Her eyes felt sticky but she managed to open them, wondering where she was. A hospital bed, she realised. She spotted Will to her left, asleep in the chair beside her then felt a pressure on her hand and looked gingerly to her right.
‘Thank you,’ she croaked at the woman by her side, the words seeming so inadequate.
‘You know what my name means?’ came the reply. Serena shook her head. Her whole skull throbbed.
‘Ashna means “friend” in Sanskrit. You’ve been such a friend to me, from the very first moment I met you. Now, finally, I feel I’ve repaid some of that friendship to you,’ her rescuer explained.
Serena smiled weakly and shut her eyes as she felt the fog descend again. She’d always believed blood was thicker than water, but now she knew that wasn’t true.
By the following morning, Serena was well enough to sit up in bed with a cup of tea.
‘Ouch!’ she exclaimed as she leaned her head back. It was wrapped in the sort of comical bandage she’d only seen before in cartoons and soap operas.
‘Grade 2 concussion,’ said Will, stroking her hand. ‘But thankfully you’re okay. You whacked the back of your head when you fell, but you’re going to be fine.’
‘And Winnie?’ asked Serena. ‘I saw Ashna come and grab her, just as I was falling. I felt a moment of relief and then just darkness.’
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