by Sue Brown
“Do you want a drink?” Gabriel asked. He didn’t want to move, but he felt it was polite.
To his relief, Sam muttered, “Not yet.”
His eyes were closed again, and he didn’t seem interested in talking. Gabriel stared into the crackling flames. Not for the first time, Gabriel thought what a restful person Sam was to be around. Jenny had been lively, a bundle of energy, always on the go, much like Toby. Gabriel smiled sadly, thinking of the times he’d pulled Jenny into his arms just to make her stop moving. He didn’t know Sam that well, but he seemed to be calmer. They sat in silence for a long time, until finally, Sam sighed and opened his eyes.
“I’m sorry. I was going to clear away the plates. I didn’t mean to doze.”
“It’s okay,” Gabriel reassured him. “It’s been a long day. I’m tired too.”
Sam sat up and ran his hands through his hair. The copper strands glinted in the light from the fire. He yawned and rubbed his eyes. “I’m sorry.”
“Go to bed. Tomorrow we’ll go into town and talk to the police. See if we can find out who you are.”
Sam pressed his lips together. “Yes.”
Gabriel frowned. “Is everything all right?”
He ignored the question as he stood and stretched out his back. “I think I’ll go to bed.”
Gabriel had the feeling Sam wasn’t as enthused as he’d expected. “Don’t you want to go home?”
Sam slumped into the sofa. “Of course I do.”
“You could try being a bit more convincing,” Gabriel said drily.
“I had another nightmare,” he admitted.
“Just now?”
“Earlier, when Toby came to wake me up.”
“Do you remember it?”
He nodded, looking very unhappy. “I was on the floor. I couldn’t move. It was like I was paralysed. Men were talking over me, but I could hear what they were saying.”
“What did they say?” Gabriel prompted gently.
His lips twisted. “Same old, same old. They were going to kill me, but this time they kept talking about ‘him.’”
“Did you get a name?”
“No. I got the feeling they didn’t like him, but they didn’t have a choice.” He looked at Gabriel. “I got the feeling they liked me, but they were prepared to kill me because they were scared of him.”
Gabriel’s blood ran cold. That was a vivid dream. Gabriel knew nothing about amnesia beyond what Toby had told him, but he couldn’t help but wonder if that were a memory, not a dream. He needed to talk to Toby. The day had been too busy to focus on Sam, but he was still recovering from his ordeal. He forced a smile. “When we go to the police station, we’re sure to find out more about you. Whatever happens, Sam, I’ve got your back. I promise.”
Sam nodded, but Gabriel had the feeling he wasn’t convinced. He walked over to him, rested on his haunches, and tucked a knuckle under his chin to make Sam look at him. “I promise I have your back. Me and Toby, even Damien. We’re here for you. I won’t let you walk back into danger.”
Long lashes swept down, hiding his stormy eyes. “You might not have the choice,” he whispered.
“Trust me,” Gabriel ordered.
Sam opened his eyes, and there was a world of confusion and pain in his expression. “You’re the only thing in this whole mess I do trust.”
Chapter 8—Sam
THE STRESS and hard labour of the previous day must have worked, because Sam’s dreams were blessedly nightmare-free, and he awoke free of the wretched headache that had been plaguing him since he woke in Gabriel’s cottage. He opened his eyes and watched the model aeroplane overhead moving gently in the draft from the open window. In the distance he could hear the sounds of children laughing, and he wondered how Gabriel coped with hearing the sounds of happy families when he’d had his ripped so cruelly away from him. Why did he not leave here with all its painful memories? Sam sighed. Because Jenny and Michael had never been found. Gabriel clung to the fragile hope that someday they would be found.
As he sat up and swung his legs over the side, the relief from not having the headache was palpable. Sam ran his hand through his hair and grimaced at the gritty feel and the tangles that stopped his fingers in their tracks. He needed a shower, a ton of conditioner, and fresh clothes. He looked down at the grubby clothes on the floor. After yesterday’s activity, they were ready to walk to the washing machine by themselves. Sam slipped on his shorts and T-shirt, unwilling to wear the dirty clothes again. He would have to be brave and ask Gabriel for something new, if Jenny had anything else suitable for a man.
There was no noise in the cottage, and the living room was empty when he poked his head out. Sam headed into the kitchen to find a note stuck to the kettle.
Working in bedroom for a couple of hours.
Sorry, got to deal with crisis for a client.
Help yourself to breakfast.
Clean clothes in utility room.
G
Sam read the note again. It was a confident hand with a strong G. He wasn’t sure how he knew that, but he just did. He would leave Gabriel alone to get on with his crisis. First, he needed a shower. He started for the bathroom and then doubled back to the utility room to grab the clothes. It was one thing for Gabriel to wander around his home in a towel, but he was a guest. Gabriel had left him a pair of jeans and a pale green T-shirt and another hoodie. Not something he would have chosen for himself, another thing he knew, but beggars couldn’t be choosers. He was definitely a beggar at the moment, with nothing to his name… not even his name.
The shower was blissfully warm, and Sam closed his eyes as the water streamed over him. He shampooed his hair a couple of times to wash out the grit and then conditioned it thoroughly, getting rid of every tangle. He grimaced at Gabriel’s generic shampoo and conditioner. He couldn’t remember the products he used before the accident, but he needed them now. What was all brooding wavy locks on Gabriel left him with a frizzy lion’s mane. Maybe he should cut it. Sam pushed that thought aside. He wasn’t going to be here long enough to do that.
He dressed and looked at himself in the long mirror in the bathroom. He looked good in the T-shirt and jeans, although they were tight for him. It felt good to be dressed in something clean, but he was starting to be spooked about wearing a dead woman’s clothing, even if they were menswear. If he stayed, then he’d ask Toby for clothes. Toby was about his height and weight.
There was no sign of Gabriel, and he could hear a soft murmur of voices from behind the bedroom door. Briefly he contemplated offering a cup of coffee, but the closed door intimidated him. Instead, Sam made himself a cup of tea. He thought about breakfast but decided against it. His boots were by the door, so he put them on, picked up his cup, and headed into the morning sunshine.
The tang of fresh salt permeated the air, and he inhaled, relishing the air so fresh it was almost sharp. He followed the path to the clifftop and sat down on a large rock to look out to sea. He sighed in pleasure as he sipped at his tea and looked out to the horizon. There was barely a breeze, and the waves were gentle.
Shrieks of laughter interrupted his thoughts. Two young children ran along the beach, a man and a woman trailing after them. Sam felt a little stab to his heart as he watched them. He didn’t have a family—no husband, no children. He wondered how he knew that.
“They look happy,” Gabriel said, sadness permeating his voice.
Sam looked up to see Gabriel standing behind him, one hand wrapped around his mug. Gabriel was dressed in a white shirt that caught in the breeze, and tight jeans. His feet were bare, and he seemed not to notice the stones. He had a healthy growth of stubble, and from the way his dark curls tumbled messily around his head, he’d obviously forgotten to comb his hair. Sam’s fingers itched to try and tame the mess.
“I was that happy once.” Gabriel was still focused on the family, his dark eyes filled with pain Sam longed to take away.
“Do you think you’ll be that happy again?” Sa
m asked softly.
Gabriel shook his head, and Sam felt unaccountably sad. “I don’t think I deserve that kind of happiness again.”
“Everyone deserves another chance,” he protested.
You could have that happiness with me.
Whoa, where had that come from? Sam hastily tamped down those thoughts.
“I was lucky enough to have it once. Some people don’t ever find their soulmate.”
Sam swallowed hard and dragged his gaze away from the bereft man before Gabriel saw what must be plain in his eyes. Sam’s quiet dreams would remain just that—dreams. Gabriel was still mourning his lost love. Sam held back a sigh, knowing he had enough problems of his own to deal with. It was time he found out who he was.
“Are the roads open yet?” he asked.
“No, but they’re talking about later today or early tomorrow. They’re still shoring up the banks.”
Sam nodded. “If you’ve been working, I guess Wi-Fi and phone lines have been restored.”
“It was patchy, but yes.”
“We could call the police and see if anyone has been looking for me.”
He wondered if he sounded as unenthusiastic to Gabriel as he did to himself.
Gabriel frowned. It was fleeting, but it was definitely there. “Okay. You can do it when you’re ready. You don’t have to rush.”
Sam’s heart warmed at his words. Despite his initial reluctance, Gabriel wasn’t in a hurry to get rid of him. It was hard to explain. Sam should be champing at the bit to go back to his real life. Instead he felt safe here, his world contained between the cottage and the clifftop looking out over the bay. If they contacted the police, he would have no choice but to deal with the authorities and become whoever he really was.
“Do you want to go down to the beach?” Gabriel offered.
Sam looked at the sandy beach and then back at Gabriel. “Down there?”
Gabriel’s lips twitched. “Down there.”
“I….”
He wasn’t sure how he felt about that. He’d nearly drowned down there. Gabriel’s family had drowned. But it was a pleasant day with a light breeze and blue skies. Sam contemplated walking down the steps to the beach. The tide was going out, and he could walk along the beach to the rocks at the far end.
“Will you come with me?” he asked, holding his breath as he waited for the answer.
Gabriel nodded and held out his hand. “Leave the mugs here.”
Sam let Gabriel tug him to his feet, and they headed for the wooden steps.
“Take care on the steps,” Gabriel warned. “They’re always slippery.”
Sam peered all the way down to the bottom. “That’s a long way.”
“It is,” Gabriel rumbled as he started down, not seeming to bother about being barefoot.
“You carried me all the way up from the bottom?” Sam was no skinny lightweight, and Gabriel had been battling wind and rain all the way up. “Christ, are you a superhero?”
Gabriel chuckled. “I hide my cape.”
“But still.”
“You were in no position to walk,” Gabriel pointed out. “I put you over my shoulder and did battle with the elements.”
Sam thoughtfully eyed Gabriel’s broad shoulders. Being carried in a fireman’s lift by a gorgeous man, and he couldn’t remember any of it. Fuck his life. Then a new memory pushed in… of being carried over a man’s shoulder, smelling cigarette smoke and sweat. He’d felt nauseated and unable to move. Sam gasped as he swayed under the weight of the memory. The man had tried to kill him.
“Sam? Sam? What’s the matter?”
Strong hands grasped his biceps and shook him gently, then he was eased against a man’s chest. Sam fought to get away from his captor, relieved his arms worked this time.
“It’s Gabriel. Sam, it’s Gabriel. You safe now. No one is going to hurt you.”
Gabriel? Sam swallowed hard and inhaled lavender and citrus scents rather than nicotine and body odour. “Gabriel?”
A gentle hand caressed his head. “Yes, it’s me. Are you back with me now?”
“I think so.” Sam stayed where he was in Gabriel’s arms, not ready to face the world.
“What triggered you?” Gabriel’s voice was calm, as though he were comforting a small child.
“One of the men who tried to kill me used a fireman’s lift. I remember not being able to move. I could smell him, but that was all. I couldn’t move or speak.” Sam’s voice cracked on the last word.
They stayed where they were until Sam felt more stable. He looked up at Gabriel, feeling a bit foolish for being triggered by something so simple.
“I’m sorry.”
“Nothing to be sorry for,” Gabriel said. “Someone tried to kill you. You’re allowed to be freaked out.”
Sam didn’t want to think about it. He stepped back and smiled at Gabriel. “Let’s get down to the beach. I want to paddle in the sea and explore the rock pools.”
“If I’d planned ahead, we could have brought the nets.”
“Next time,” Sam said.
Gabriel gave him a smile that warmed Sam through. “Next time. I’ve got crab pots and fishing rods too.”
Sam eyed him speculatively. “You like catching fish.”
“I do, but I throw the small ones back.”
“I love sea bass cooked on a beach BBQ.” Sam blinked. “Wow, I remember how I like my tea and how I like my fish.”
“I like sea bass too,” Gabriel rumbled. “Come on. You need to get your feet wet. You go ahead of me.”
Sam took a deep breath of salty air, calmed himself, and descended the steps to the beach below, Gabriel’s hand on his shoulder grounding him.
At the bottom of the steps, Sam sat down to take off his boots and socks. He was determined to get the feel of the wet sand between his toes.
Sam grinned as he stood barefoot on the sand and flexed his toes. “Fuck, this feels good.”
“Roll up your jeans. We’ll go paddling in the sea.” Gabriel could have been five from the boyish grin on his face.
“I can’t remember the last time I went paddling,” Sam deadpanned.
They looked at each other and burst out laughing. Sam felt better just from that. Gabriel gave him a not-so-gentle shove towards the sea, and Sam stumbled. He swore at Gabriel and set off at a run. His head throbbed a bit but not enough to make him stop. The tide was as far out as it could go, and he had to negotiate small rocks and seaweed and puddles that left splash marks up his legs. He looked over his shoulder to find Gabriel on his heels. Sam ran faster, but Gabriel had longer legs and easily kept pace for them to finish neck and neck where the shallow waves gently broke on the beach.
Sam was out of breath. He bent over, hands on his thighs and tried to get his breath back.
“You need to exercise,” Gabriel mocked. The man was barely breathing faster.
“Bastard,” Sam said cheerfully as he stood, stretched his back, and rolled his shoulders. “You’re right, though. I’m out of shape if I can’t run across a beach. I guess I’m not a gym bunny.”
Gabriel eyed him appraisingly, and Sam felt his cheeks warm even more under his appreciative regard. “You look just fine to me.”
“Thanks,” Sam said, hoping Gabriel would put the flush down to the exercise and not his reaction to Gabriel’s praise. It was as though he’d never been given a compliment before. Not that he remembered, but he hadn’t broken any mirrors so far.
“Uh…. Sam.”
“Yes?”
Just then a wave crashed into Sam, soaking him almost to his knees.
Gabe jumped out of the way. “Too late.”
Sam scowled at him. “You could have told me earlier.”
“I could have,” Gabriel agreed, his mouth quirking into a mischievous smile. “But what would be the fun in that?”
Sam huffed and shoved his hands in his pockets. “It’s hard to believe there ever was a storm.”
“Yes,” Gabriel murmured, looking o
ut to sea.
Sam cursed himself for his careless words and for putting that expression on Gabriel’s face. “I’m so sorry.”
Gabriel turned to look at him. “There’s nothing to be sorry about. I’ve seen this bay in every weather; from sunshine to howling gales to snow capping the waves. It’s beautiful here.”
“You’ll never leave here, will you?”
“How can I?”
Jenny and Michael were here. Sam understood. As long as the sea held the mystery of their whereabouts, Gabriel would remain, a stalwart sentinel of the cliffs.
Sam held back a sigh and squinted over to the rocks. The family they’d seen earlier were gone now. Time to explore the rock pools. “Race you to the rocks?”
“We won’t have long now the tide is coming in,” Gabriel warned.
“We’d better get there fast, then,” Sam said, haring away.
Of course Gabriel overtook him, but it was fun while it lasted. The bastard perched against the rock as though he’d been there forever as Sam ran up to him.
“You took your time,” Gabriel said.
Sam flipped him off because he deserved it.
Gabriel gave a wicked smirk. “Come on. Let’s look in the rock pools for pirates’ treasure.”
Sam was about to make a jokey comment when he realised that must have been something Gabriel used to say to his son. “Have you ever found any pirates’ treasure?”
“Just once,” Gabriel said and winked at him.
It took a moment for Sam to realise Gabriel meant him. “I’m a pirate’s treasure, am I?”
“I nearly found you on a sunken ship.”
Sam flinched at the thought. Not the memory, because he didn’t have that, but the thought of what he would have become if Gabriel hadn’t found him. He flinched again as Gabriel caressed his cheek.
“I’m sorry. That was stupid of me.” Gabriel’s voice was soft and regretful.