by Sue Brown
Toby hung on as though he was seeking comfort this time, and Gabriel realised that maybe Toby had been seeking his own support when he took care of Gabriel. He held Toby for a long while, until Toby raised his head, his eyes suspiciously bright. “It’s time somebody else did that.”
“You mean Sam.”
“Or someone else.”
Gabriel bit his lip. “I think there’s a reason Sam was sent to me.”
“You mean, aside from his brother trying to kill him?” Toby said dryly.
“Yeah, aside from the homicidal fuck who tried to kill him twice.” Anger rose in Gabriel as he thought about it.
“No bitterness there, boyo. Okay, tell me why Sam was sent to you.”
“I think Jenny was the only woman in my life. I don’t think there could be another one to replace her.”
Toby furrowed his brow, his expression troubled. “Do you see Sam as a replacement for Jenny? Because that’s not really fair on him. He’s nothing like Jenny, and you can’t expect him to be.”
“That’s not what I mean,” Gabriel protested, but Toby’s expression didn’t ease.
“I don’t think you know what you do mean. You’re right. You need to do some hard thinking about what you want from Sam. If you want anything at all.”
Katy Perry sounded again, and this time she sounded distinctly annoyed.
Gabriel gave a wry smile. “You’d better go before he kills you.”
Toby nodded, but he didn’t move. Gabriel raised an eyebrow. “Tobes?”
“Don’t throw away a good thing just because you’re scared.”
Gabriel didn’t have a chance to respond, because Toby walked away, leaving him alone, shivering as a cold gust of wind whipped around him.
NOT SURE what to do with himself, Gabriel spent the afternoon in the dinghy, criss-crossing the bay, much as he had done when he searched for Sam. The sea was much calmer, although a stiff breeze whipped his hair around his face. He impatiently pushed it back, thinking it was about time he got it cut. Jenny used to cut his hair. He wasn’t sure where he would go, certainly not to the salon in the middle of the village. They would eat him alive the second he stepped in the door. He’d ask Toby or Damien. They’d laugh at him, but he could live with a little embarrassment. Gabriel thought of Sam’s bright copper hair, longer than his but neatly styled, whereas his was just a mess. Gabriel gave a wry smile. Sam probably paid Gabriel’s monthly mortgage payments just to get his hair looking like that. Or maybe not. He hadn’t seemed that precious about the way he looked.
The wind whipped up again, and Gabriel spat out a mouthful of hair. By the time he pulled the dinghy up the beach, he was still in a turmoil about Sam but he felt better. The fresh air had done him some good. He wished he’d taken Sam out in the boat, but then he reminded himself of Sam’s narrow escape. Would Sam ever want to go in a boat again? He wouldn’t know. Gabriel growled as he secured the dinghy. What the hell was he going to do?
Gabriel stomped up the wooden steps, angry at himself for his indecisiveness. He needed to grow a pair and make a decision. He charged up the steps, almost slipping once or twice on the damp decking, but needing the force to drive him forwards. He reached the clifftop, breathless and his legs aching from the exertion, but also feeling strangely triumphant. He would work, he would live, and he would stay away from the edge of the clifftop. That’s what Sam had given him. Gabriel would always be grateful for that.
His resolve lasted as far as the cottage. It seemed empty without the vibrancy of Sam—not the soul-sucking emptiness after losing Jenny and Michael, but as though Sam had infused the place with joy again and now it had been taken away. Gabriel shook his head. He needed to get over himself.
Gabriel looked at the coffee maker and then reached into the fridge and pulled out a bottle of beer instead. He made himself a huge ham salad sandwich, found a packet of crisps, and took them both over to his chair by the fire. It was only as he bit into the sandwich that he remembered about Damien’s offer of dinner. He looked at the sandwich, shrugged, and carried on eating. He could always eat dinner later.
It wasn’t cold enough for a fire, but he lit it just for the comfort of seeing the crackling flames. He slumped in the chair, crossed his legs at the ankles, and watched the fire, his bottle balanced precariously on his belly. Copper, crimson, and yellow, the flames licked and curled around the logs, dancing higher as the kindling caught.
Sam was a flame, waiting to blaze and find his full glory. He was on the cusp of something big, and Gabriel couldn’t be the one to hold him back. He would watch Sam shine and hope that one day he might want to come back to the man in the little cottage on the edge of the cliff.
Sleep was a long time coming. He finally managed to sleep, one arm wrapped around Sam’s pillow, his scent lingering enough to sooth Gabriel to sleep. Gabriel woke early enough that the first pink flush of dawn was only just streaking through the sky. He rolled over onto his back and stared up at the ceiling.
“Fuck it,” he muttered and sat up, scratching his belly.
Gabriel shuffled into the kitchen and made himself a cup of instant coffee. The coffee machine would take too long. He’d take the drink out to the rock and watch the sunrise, then he’d work for the rest of the day. He really needed to find something to do other than work and watching the bay.
“I’ll get a dog.”
He blinked. Where the hell had that come from? Then he remembered sitting on the rock with Jenny as she cooed over a mutt almost as large as she was. She’d tried to convince him to get a dog then, but he’d laughed and said there was plenty of time for that when Michael was older. Gabriel blinked back tears as he let himself out of the cottage. He’d not make that mistake again.
Then don’t wait for Sam to come back to you. Go get him!
He needed to think, to make a decision about the man who’d turned his life upside down.
The sky had changed from mauves to blues to pinks, and now the sun peeked over the horizon. He walked the short gravel path, sipping at his coffee, only to discover someone was already in his place. His mood went from annoyance to shock as he stared at the lean man dressed in a thick cream jumper and tight black jeans, his bright hair whipped around his face by the breeze. Copper hair glinted in the morning’s early rays.
Sam turned to smile at him, and it took Gabriel’s breath away. “Is that tea?”
Gabriel rolled his eyes. “I don’t drink tea. The kettle has just boiled, if you want to make a cup.”
They were talking about something as mundane as a cup of tea when Gabriel wanted to know what the hell Sam was doing on his rock at sunrise. Which, if he thought about it, was exactly where he was the previous morning.
Sam nodded. “Don’t run away.” He slipped past Gabriel to the cottage.
Gabriel stared after him. “Run away?” Where did Sam think he would go? He ignored his traitorous brain, which pointed out Gabriel had made a habit of walking away from Sam.
Gabriel drank his cooling cup of coffee and tried not to be impatient for Sam’s return. Maybe he should have asked for a second cup.
“Good. You’re still here.” Sam handed Gabriel another mug of coffee.
Gabriel accepted it with a bemused wonder. “Did you read my mind?”
“Maybe,” Sam said cryptically before he took a sip of his tea.
“How long have you been here?”
“An hour maybe. I didn’t check.”
“Why didn’t you knock on the door?”
Sam gave him a wry smile. “I needed to think, and your rock is a good place to do it.”
Gabriel stared at him. “You drove through the night to sit on my rock?”
“I drove through the night to talk to you… and sit on your rock.”
“Where is your bodyguard?” Gabriel looked around, but he couldn’t see anyone apart from the two of them.
“I gave them the slip.” Sam smirked at him. “They don’t know I’m gone yet. I said I wanted to be left alone to write new son
gs.”
“And they bought that?” Gabriel gave him a sceptical look, but Sam just shrugged.
“I’m a commodity. The record company expects me to write music, so it’s not like it’s a surprise.”
“But you came here instead?”
“The view inspires me.” Sam indicated the rock. “I think I could make a lot of music here.”
Gabriel’s mouth went dry, and he had to swallow a couple of times to get enough saliva to speak. “What are you saying?”
Sam bit his lip. “Can’t you guess?”
“I don’t want to guess. I need you to tell me, Sam. Why did you come back here?” He needed to hear the words out loud. If he was going to give his heart to someone again, he needed to know they felt the same way.
Sam took a long time to answer, and Gabriel didn’t pressurise him. “I thought about it all the way back to London.” He stopped and snorted. “They wouldn’t let me go home. It has to be vetted, so I’m stuck in a sterile apartment with nothing to call my own. Even the clothes in the wardrobe were bought by someone else. I lay in bed and wondered what the hell I was going to do now.”
“Write music, make songs, tour the world,” Gabriel suggested when the pause went on too long.
Sam nodded. “I want to do all that, but….”
“But?”
“I want to do it with you.”
Gabriel’s heart skipped a beat, but he had to be honest. “I can’t leave here.”
“I know you can’t, and I don’t want you to. But I can write music here, on this rock. I can build myself a new studio. And I can tour the world, but I know you’ll be here waiting for me when it’s over.
“Please give us a chance.” Sam reached out to take Gabriel’s free hand and entwined his fingers. “I’m not expecting a promise of a happily ever after yet. We need to get to know each other first. But I’ll take a happy for now.”
Gabriel remembered Jenny talking about the differences between happily ever after and happy for now in the romance books she’d read. He’d always felt conflicted because how could you know you’d feel the same way about your partner in ten or twenty years? But then he looked at Jenny and knew he could see her by his side for the rest of his life.
He took a long look at Sam, who was waiting for his reply. Sam wasn’t Jenny. His life wouldn’t be the same as he’d expected. Could he see Sam standing next to him when they were elderly, his copper hair faded to ash, deep lines around his eyes, but his smile as bright as the sun?
“Are you sure it’s me you want and not the rock?” he asked. “I could gift the rock to you with no expectations.”
Sam placed their joined hands against his heart. “It’s you I want.”
Gabriel knew this was the moment. If he said no, Sam would walk away and never bother him again. He would make his music, and Gabriel would watch him on TV and wonder, “What if.” Or he could take the step off the cliff into an unknown future. Sam wouldn’t judge him for his decisions.
He looked at his left hand, tugged his hands free, and then slipped the wedding ring off and transferred it to his right hand.
“She’ll always be part of you,” Sam whispered.
Gabriel nodded and held Sam’s slender hand in his. “Jenny and Michael will always have a piece of my heart. But you have my heart now. If it’s all right with you, I think I’d like to work on our happily ever after.”
More from Sue Brown
The flames of passion rise for the lord of the manor.
It’s springtime in Calminster village, but things are already heating up. Sexy firefighter Dale Maloney is new to the local station. When Dale backs the company fire engine into the village maypole, he attracts the ire—and attention—of Benedict Raleigh, the Baron Calminster.
Soon after meeting Dale, Ben breaks off his relationship with his girlfriend, and the sparks between Ben and Dale are quickly fanned into flames.
Unfortunately the passion between the two men isn’t the only blaze in the village. An arsonist’s crimes are escalating, and it’s up to Dale and his crew to stop them. Meanwhile, as they investigate, an unscrupulous business partner attempts to coerce Ben into marrying his daughter. The May Day parade is around the corner, but they have plenty of fires to put out before Ben can finally slide down the fireman’s pole.
Noel Garrett leaves for his Christmas vacation with an engagement ring in his pocket. But he boards the plane alone and with a broken heart when his boyfriend dumps him in the airport.
His seatmate, Angel Marinelli, takes care of him with gentle determination… whether Noel wants it or not, and Noel doesn’t expect to see Angel again. But when an overbooking leaves Angel without a room and Noel is asked to host him, one night turns into the whole vacation and they settle into the chalet and mix with an eclectic group of guests, including the Wise Guys and a pregnant woman. As they ski and spend every moment together, Noel finds himself falling for Angel, and though his feelings are returned, Noel worries it’s just a rebound romance. It’ll mean taking a leap of faith, but Noel has to make a decision before he hurts Angel, and Christmas is fast approaching.
Cowboys and Angels: Book One
Will a mix of privilege and blue collar be a recipe for love… or disaster?
Dan’s pretty satisfied with his job at the working-class bar Cowboys and Angels. He enjoys his simple life, his apartment, and his cat, but he could do without the fights that break out in the bar, his boss’s meddling daughter, Ariel… oh, and a brutal, unrequited crush on his straight alpha boss, Gideon.
When Dan’s friend prepares to tie the knot, everyone insists that Dan needs a date for the wedding. Before he can protest, Ariel arranges a gay speed-dating event at the bar with Gideon as a participant. The unforeseen revelation that Gideon is bisexual raises Dan’s hopes, especially when Gideon announces that he wants to accompany Dan to the wedding. Could Gideon really be interested in Dan?
When Dan needs someone most, Gideon offers his unconditional support, and with genuine commitment, he shows Dan the kind of man he really is. Teaming up to save the wedding from a hungover groom and intolerant parents, can Gideon convince Dan they’re the best match since beer and pizza?
Cowboys and Angels: Book Two
Can a man burdened with family drama find his way into the arms of a happy-go-lucky stripper called Lionman?
Cris likes a drink at the Cowboys and Angels bar after his shift at the strip club—until one night when a trashed young guy named Mikey tries to kiss him. He’s not Cris’s type, but Cris is good enough to see the kid home safely. There he meets Mikey’s handsome older brother, Bennett, and there’s an immediate spark between them.
But Bennett might not be in a position to start a relationship, let alone with the carefree Cris. He’s trying desperately to hold his family together, with a younger brother who’s running off the rails and hostile parents who will never accept not just one, but two gay sons.
When Cris is unexpectedly fired and Bennett’s family drama escalates, they turn to each other for support. But can a shoulder to lean on develop into something much closer, something they both deserve?
Cowboys and Angels: Book Three
A gentle bartender might have what it takes to mend a relationship-phobic detective’s broken heart… but first they have to admit they’re dating.
Keenan Day could kick himself for letting the hot, dark-haired stranger he met outside a strip club get away. Instead of a phone number, he gets a punch in the face—from the boyfriend of his prospective employer at the Cowboys and Angels bar. When two cops come to check up on him, one is the sexy stranger, Detective Nate Gordon.
The initial attraction hasn’t cooled, and though Nate is leery of commitment, one hookup turns into another until they’re seeing each other in everything but name. After a recent nasty breakup, Nate balks at being part of a couple, and Keenan agrees, even though that’s all he’s ever wanted.
Just as they reach a standstill, a crisis shows them what their friends h
ave known all along—they’ve already moved way past hookups. Now they just have to decide how to move forward.
Readers love the Cowboys and Angels series by Sue Brown
Speed Dating the Boss
“I was completely caught up in the story from the first page to the last. It was compelling and just about perfect.”
—Joyfully Jay
“It was sweet, it had just the right emotional engagement, no big dramatic misunderstanding… and interesting characters.”
—Gay Book Reviews
Secretly Dating the Lionman
“Brown spins a lively, emotionally satisfying story with complex characters and explicit sensuality.”
—Publishers Weekly
“It kept me awake at night reading to finish it quickly just so I could see what happened. The ending was very satisfying….”
—Bayou Book Junkie
Slow Dating the Detective
“The scorching sex scenes and sweet romantic moments will have readers rooting for Keenan and Nate’s happily ever after.”
—Publishers Weekly
“Sue Brown is gifted with a great talent for writing dialogue that is sharp and witty in all the right spots while still keeping the sweetness that I crave in a good romance novel.”
—Love Bytes
Cranky middle-aged author with an addiction for coffee and a passion for romancing two guys, SUE BROWN loves her dog, loves her kids, and loves coffee—though which order very much depends on the time of day.
Sue can be found at:
Website: www.suebrownstories.com
Blog: suebrownsstories.blogspot.co.uk
Twitter: @suebrownstories
Facebook: www.facebook.com/suebrownstories