Stella tossed me my clothes and walked off, as always with a grim look on her face. Definitely not desire. I pulled my pants on and went back to the camp. She was already there, sitting on her pile of pelts. She had put away her weapon, so she didn’t mean to kill me. But then why had she aimed an arrow at me at the lake? I clenched my jaw. She didn’t trust me. Or maybe she didn’t trust herself?
Pointing to a spot near her, I asked, “Can I sit down there or will I be risking my life?” When she didn’t answer I hesitated, but finally she nodded and I went over to her. “You always so quiet?”
“Unlike you,” she shot back without looking at me. On her lap was a pile of strange leaves that she was skillfully weaving together. “Come closer,” she suddenly told me.
“It’s about time!” I leaned in to kiss her, but she whipped out a knife as swiftly as a panther and pointed it at my throat. “Okay, I misunderstood. No need to get so worked up.”
She lowered her eyes and rested the knife on the ground. “Sorry,” she murmured, surprising me.
“No problem,” I said, momentarily startled into seriousness. I wasn’t sure she had always been so brooding. She seemed torn. Stella was no longer the person I’d once known. She had become something else, something I would have to learn to know. And yet, beneath that mask of ink, my Stella was still there, I was sure of it. Whatever was troubling her, I was there with her now and I wasn’t going to leave her again.
This time it was she who leaned toward me. I stared at her as she daubed my wound with a white paste. I gritted my teeth against the searing pain.
“The wound is infected. This should make it heal quickly. It’s an antiseptic.”
“You made it yourself?” I asked her, impressed. She nodded, her expression modest. “I was afraid you were in danger out here, but I see you really know how to take care of yourself.”
“In Hell you either learn to survive or you die.”
“Yeah, I’d figured that out,” I grunted, examining the wound she was medicating. The bite marks were deep and they’d turned from red to a yellowish brown. “What were those creatures, anyway?” I still couldn’t shake the thought of the taut, slimy skin covering their bones.
“They were Gluttons.”
“Ya think?” I shot back, getting a smile out of her.
“Hell follows certain rules. Whatever it was you most desired on Earth might end up being your punishment here. The Gluttons are those who during their lifetimes acted unscrupulously not only to get what they wanted but to get more of it . . . and more, and more, leaving innocent souls to pay the price for their choices. Their insatiable hunger for money, power, or whatever else it was turned them into ravenous souls tormented by a longing that can never be satiated. Not even the most delicious feasts can satisfy them now. They get hungrier and hungrier, and that makes them weak. You were lucky. You could’ve run into far more dangerous creatures.”
“Hey, those guys were pretty hungry and I bet I looked delicious. They were totally dangerous,” I assured her. I had battled far more ferocious creatures in the Opalion, but those skeletons had given me a run for my money.
“You’ll change your mind,” Stella said flatly, bandaging the bite with the damp green leaves she had braided. She moved on to the wound on my chest and silence fell between us. “Sorry about this.”
“Two apologies, one after the other? This is my lucky day.”
“You never take anything seriously, do you?”
“Well, my girlfriend did try to kill me, so sorry if cracking a joke helps me cope.”
“I’m not your girlfriend,” she pointed out.
I clasped my hand over hers, against my chest. Her fingers reacted, touching mine. “I don’t agree with you there either.”
“That’s your problem.” She pulled her hand away and glared at me. I stared back at her, intense and brazenly close. I couldn’t hold back a little smile as I probed her eyes with mine until she was forced to turn away. I had spent years grieving for her and now that I had found her again I had no intention of letting her get away. Sooner or later I would wear down her defenses.
Stella went back to treating my wounds.
“Do you trust him?” I jutted my chin toward Gurdan.
“He’s okay, but don’t go around striking up friendships. In Hell, Souls are driven by two things: the survival instinct or a thirst for blood. All you can hope for are fleeting alliances. No one trusts anyone else. You’d be better off doing the same.”
“I’ve had a taste of it.” I touched the wound she herself had inflicted on me. “You treated it for me, though, and that’s a step in the right direction.”
“Only because your red blood would attract too many predators. Subterraneans are a precious commodity down here.”
“You could’ve left me there, but you didn’t. You didn’t run off.”
“For the same reason. Like I said, Subterraneans are a precious commodity.”
“Is that what you are? A mercenary?”
“You’re clearly a guy who asks a lot of questions.”
“And you’re clearly good at dodging them.”
“I didn’t really mean to kill you, if that’s what you want to know.”
“Lucky me, then. If it’s true, that is.”
Losing her temper, she tugged on my woven bandages and tied them tightly in place. “I’m not a liar. I saw the mark on your arm. You’re a Soldier of Eve. You can’t die. Not from an arrow, at least.”
I looked steadily into her eyes. “That doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt like hell.”
“I’ve already said I’m sorry.”
“An arrow square in the chest deserves more than a simple ‘I’m sorry,’ don’t you think?”
“Shh!” Stella shot to her feet, holding up a finger to silence me.
“No, I mean it. If you really want me to forgive you, that would take at least a ki—”
Behind me, Stella clapped her hand over my mouth. “Would you shut up? Someone’s out there,” she whispered, on her guard. She gestured for me to get up and then woke Gurdan, also covering his mouth with her hand. There were noises around us. We had no way of knowing what was lurking in the Copse.
“Stay behind me,” I whispered to her, stepping out in front.
She pulled two long staffs from the quiver on her back and walked out ahead of me. “This is no time to kid around.”
“I wasn’t kidding around. Now that I’m here, I mean to protect you.”
“I don’t need to be protected.”
“Really? You want to argue now, of all times?!”
Another step and we found them straight ahead of us: a flock of huge birds with long, sharp beaks, as tall as humans. They weren’t there for us; they were busy nosing around on the ground in search of something.
“They haven’t seen us,” I whispered to Stella. “Maybe we can slip away without them noticing.”
“Good idea,” she whispered. “There are too many of them.”
I counted at least eight. One let out a strange call and we cringed.
“What is that thing, a seal dressed up in feathers?”
“Shut up and keep walking.”
The animal went back to scouring the ground. No, not the ground, I was disgusted to realize, but its prey. It was feeding. On what, I wasn’t sure, given the shadowy twilight.
“It looks hungry. I hope that’s a big branch covered with fruit. What do they normally eat?” I asked.
The raptor tossed something into the air and skewered it on its long beak as it continued to writhe. It was a human Soul.
Gurdan stepped on something that snapped. We froze in our tracks. One of the raptors howled again and shot its head in our direction. It had spotted us.
“They eat us! Run!” Stella shouted, sprinting away.
“I shouldn’t have asked.”
The raptors were incredibly fast and chased after us like we were juicy rare steaks. Their black beaks were like hollow tubes through which they suc
ked their victims’ blood.
“We’ve got to split up!” Stella said, still running.
“Forget it. I’m not leaving you.”
“It wasn’t a suggestion.” Stella whipped out her bow and shot an arrow upward. She grabbed the end of the long cord tied to the arrowhead and swung herself up to a branch high above, disappearing among the foliage. A shrill whistle filled the treetops and all at once the raptors followed it, digging their beaks into the tree trunks to climb them.
“Stella!” I shouted, but there was no reply. “Fuck!” I couldn’t stand the thought of losing her again, but I couldn’t risk stopping. I looked back over my shoulder. Two of the bloodsuckers were still chasing me. “I bet you’re females.” The creatures’ only reply was to let out that weird howl again. I shook my head over how ugly they were. One of them sped up and rushed out in front of me, forcing me to come to a halt.
I was trapped.
An even more bizarre gurgle rose from their throats. I hoped it wasn’t a call to draw the rest of the flock. Now that they were so close I could see them better. The noise they were making was coming from flaps in their necks. Their eyes, to the sides of their beaks, were two bulging balls that darted around, pointing at their prey. Except for the red tuft atop their heads, their feathers were gray. They had long, swift legs and a slender tail that stuck out stiffly. Or maybe they were just happy to see me.
“Even with all the monsters I’ve faced in the Opalion, you guys are definitely the ugliest creatures I’ve ever seen.” The difference was that during the Games the worst-case scenario was that I was killed and taken to the regeneration pools. Out here I risked being disemboweled.
Seeming to understand my insult, the raptors attacked. When I dove to the ground and rolled away to escape their razor-sharp beaks, they crashed into each other, making me laugh. “You’re not only ugly, you’re stupid too.” The beasts howled and one of them charged me, enraged. “C’mon, bring it.” I waited until it was close, grabbed its neck and leapt onto its back. I had ridden an ostrich once. It wasn’t so different.
Under my weight the animal went wild, thrashing around as it tried to throw me to the ground. I clung to its head but accidentally touched its beak, cutting my hand. “Shit, is that sharp!”
The smell of my red blood sent them both into a frenzy. The other raptor attacked its companion, wanting to steal its prey. I tried to guide it away from the blows, clinging to its short, bristly feathers. Their beaks clashed together like swords. It looked like a fencing match between two birds. Black blood spurted every which way. They were prepared to kill each other just to have me, and I instantly realized it wasn’t such a bad idea.
“There’s something I learned from the Games.” I grabbed the bird’s beak and the moment the other one charged us again I drove it into its skull. It froze and toppled to the ground. “When you don’t have a weapon, invent one.” The animal beneath me bucked, trying yet again to throw me off its back.
“Having fun?” Stella reappeared atop a tree, her arms crossed and her expression amused. Man, was I happy to see her again.
“Want to go for a spin, gorgeous?” I wielded my finest smile, but the beast threw me off-balance and I almost ended up on the ground. “Hey, don’t make me look bad,” I said reproachfully before turning back to Stella. “C’mon, I’ll give you a ride. Why carry your dinner around when dinner can carry you?”
“Because sooner or later you might end up being dinner. Here.” Stella took a dagger out of a sheath strapped to her thigh and tossed it to me. I caught it, but this time I really did lose my balance and fell off. All I saw a second later was the raptor’s beak plunging straight down at me. I rolled away, barely dodging it, grabbed the beast while its beak was still stuck in the ground, and plunged my knife into its throat. The raptor whimpered and flopped to the ground. I raised my eyes to Stella, who grabbed a vine and swung down.
She nodded with approval. “Nice work.”
“What happened to yours?”
“I shook them off,” she said. “It wasn’t my first time. They’re stupid animals. And they aren’t the only ones, it seems.” She grabbed my hand roughly and examined it. “You can’t hold a sword by the blade and expect not to get cut,” she said, frowning.
“I knew I’d get cut.”
“Well, then, you’re crazy as well as stupid.”
“A little.” I winked at her.
Scowling, she pulled out another one of her damp leaf bandages and wound it around my hand. It must have been made of seaweed.
I stared at her, fascinated by her face. Lost in thought, she touched my blood, as she had with the wound on my chest. Who knew what she was thinking? My blood was red, not black like the other Souls’ in Hell. Not like hers. Stella, too, was one of the Damned. Maybe my blood was reminding her of what she’d become, of what she’d lost.
Reaching over, I tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear, my fingers lingering on her skin. She seemed to tilt her head slightly toward my hand. Or maybe I’d just imagined it. It hurt to have her so near and yet so far away. I wished I could hold her close and take her away from there.
“Let’s get moving. We’re too exposed here.” She walked off, leaving me with my hand in midair. I lowered it to my side, balling it into a fist to keep myself from punching something.
Bending over one of the raptors, she took out her dagger.
“What are you doing?”
“What do you think? Stockpiling weapons.”
I went to her side. She had chopped off the animal’s beak and was cleaning it, scraping off the flesh still sticking to it. “You going to stand there watching me or do you want to help?”
“I’d rather do it my way.” I grabbed the beak of the second raptor and tore it off with my bare hands.
She stared at me, surprised by my strength. “You made its brain splatter out. Now you’ll have to clean it off.”
Well, it wasn’t like I’d expected her to sing my praises. “Yes, ma’am,” I replied sarcastically. I handed her the knife she’d tossed me.
“Come on, hurry up.”
“Are we going someplace in particular?”
“Someplace your sharp tongue won’t get us hacked to bits.”
I shrugged. “Sounds like a plan.”
Once they were clean, we packed up our new weapons and resumed walking. Stella was right. We were an easy target for beasts lying in wait. Especially when carrying the raptors. We had to find a place to hide.
“What happened to your friend Gurdan?”
“He’ll know how to find me if he wants to.”
“You sure they didn’t kill him?”
“He knows how to take care of himself. Besides, that’s a risk we all run down here.”
Her reply irritated me. Did she really not care about anybody? Would she not even care at all about me? “When did you get to be so bitchy?”
“Personal bonds are only for mortal souls. Not for us, the Damned.”
I grabbed her arm to stop her and looked her in the eye. Her expression was stony. “The Stella I used to know would never have said that.”
“I told you, I’m Kahlena. The person you used to know is gone.”
“You can’t really believe that.”
“If you can’t accept it, that’s your problem,” she said, as cold and aggressive as ever.
I couldn’t stand the distance she was putting between us. The closer I got, the farther away she went. “Let me tell you, the new you is a real bitch.”
“What would you know?” She jerked her arm free and shoved me in the chest, suddenly furious. “You’re a Subterranean. You can’t die.” She shoved me again and I let her do it, let her vent. “Everything’s one big joke to you and why not? You know you’ll wake up again no matter what. For me, this is a world of blood and ash!” Another rough shove and I grabbed her by the wrists. Her eyes blazed with rage, but what I saw in them was a different emotion. Her coldness was only a shield. I struggled to keep myself fro
m pulling her to me because I knew if I did she would close herself off again. If she was going to open up to me, I needed her to keep going. Only then would I find my way in.
“Do you have any idea how much I’ve suffered? What I’ve been through since I’ve been here? You don’t know what Hell really is. Survival has its price. There’s no room for personal bonds.” Her voice was brimming with tension.
“You’re wrong. I know perfectly well what hell is. I’ve known it since I lost you. For me, there could never be a worse hell.”
“You left me!” she screamed.
Her answer turned me to stone. “You—you remember?”
Stella stared at me and in her eyes I saw the storm raging within her. She turned her back to keep me from reading any further. A knot gripped my stomach. Stella remembered?
“I didn’t leave you,” I said, frustrated. “I went away to war.”
“What’s the difference?” she hissed, turning to face me.
“I was coming back.”
“You didn’t.”
“Yes I did.” I stepped toward her, closing the distance between us. “I requested a furlough and went home to you, but you were gone.”
“Because I was a stupid, foolish little girl. I left my family, my home, to join you. I enlisted in the Red Cross, but I was sent to Normandy. They parachuted us onto the field along with so many soldiers, but my group and I never even made it to the ground. They machine-gunned us during our descent.”
“That’s horrible,” I murmured. I knew the story, but hearing it from her lips was heartbreaking.
“Horrible doesn’t even begin to describe what I’ve been through. And it’s all your fault,” she said, her voice full of resentment.
So that was why Stella hated me so much: she blamed me for her having ended up here. That whole time I had assumed that when Stella died, a Subterranean had helped her soul cross over, accompanying her to Eden. Now I could imagine why that hadn’t happened. A Witch must have convinced her to follow her in exchange for making Stella’s greatest wish come true.
“It was me . . . I was your wish.”
She snorted. “At least the Witch ended up keeping her promise. Sometimes wishes are granted to us when we don’t want them any more.”
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