by Riley Moreno
In some ways, it remained a mystery to him as well. But his mind flashed back to the first time, their first time, what should have been her first time, and Juliet’s image flooded his mind.
This is me. This is my hand.
As soon as she heard that, Juliet had opened her body, and when they consummated, she swore that he was her first. Ethan had hoped that he would be the last, the only. Part of him wanted to do as much for Kim. Not because he wanted to slip the ring on her finger, but if it could make her feel safe…
“I’m here, Ethan,” she crooned. “Show me what it could be like.”
She sank into him, her limbs falling around his as she curled her ankles close to his calves and reached under her chin.
“I can’t, Kim,” he said.
“Why? Because I’m too damaged? What if…?”
Her voice trailed off as she tried to bring her lips back to his, but Ethan turned his head aside and brought her back to her feet.
“What if it was Jules?” she demanded as she gripped his collar. “Would you still want her if she was captive for all those months?”
“Of course I… but it wasn’t. And you don’t know what we’ve been through---”
“I’d like try to, Ethan. Just for one moment. Please?”
As soon as he tried to stand, Kim wrestled him to the ground, her moves desperate and wanting as she laid him into the floor. Ethan thought he heard Donna curling towards the edge of the door, and he nearly called out for her when Kim pressed her palm to his mouth.
“Brian is nice,” she started. “But I still wake up screaming. Shaking. Can’t you just… can’t you help me?”
No way he could ever be with her. Not in the way that she wanted. But his soul softened at the sight of the tears brimming in her eyes, and he groaned heavily as he sat up and dared to take her into his arms.
“I… I can hold you, Kim,” he said. “Probably not what you want, but---”
“It’s something, Ethan”
Kim fell into his arms and absorbed Ethan’s embrace. Her fingers pushed between his thighs, but Ethan eased her hand away and zipped up. Moving her hand up his chest, he allowed Kim’s touch to settle near his heart and found the strength to meet her eyes.
“Believe me when I say that I want you to be okay. But I can’t make it happen. Not in the way that you---”
“Ethan…”
Kim pressed her lips to his cheeks, her suddenly chaste kiss in no way threatening. Ethan wondered if she would find Juliet and spin the story, his hair crawling up the back if his neck at the thought that Kim’s words would hurt her. But then she pushed back and smoothed her hands down her legs.
“Guess I have to get it,” she stated sadly. “But it… it would have been nice….”
She suddenly looked so small as she started towards the door. Ethan pushed his shirt back into his trousers and took a few steps towards her side.
“Maybe it would have been,” Ethan admitted. “But I’m with Juliet now. Forvever. And you’re with Brian?”
Kim sadly nodded her head and patted his arm.
“Guess we should both try to get back to the ones that love us best.”
Ethan felt relived at the sound of her comprehending reason, and his fists unfurled at his sides as she turned the knob and stared back at him from the space of the doorframe.
“Say hi to Jules for me,” Kim murmured.
“Not planning to do it yourself?” Ethan asked.
Kim sighed and took a soft step back into his office. Ethan lengthened up the back of his spine, the skin of his cheek hard against her hand as she touched his face and sighed.
“I’m already too much in the way,” she said. “Just go to her. Bet she’s missing you right about now.”
As soon as Kim left, Donna was back in the doorway.
“Everything okay, Mr. Graff?”
“It’s fine,” Ethan insisted as he pushed his rumpled hair behind his ears and stepped back to his desk. He barely managed a single step when his phone buzzed. The number flashing across the screen did not belong to Juliet. But he still recognized the digits as he pressed he phone close to his ear.
“Nick?”
“Holy Christ, Ethan. Where the fuck are you?”
“I’m… still at the office. What are you…?”
“Juliet?” he suddenly asked. “Is she… I should have…”
Because she might have gone home, hoped to see him waiting. Not being there was its own kind of betrayal, and he kept asking after her when Nick’s voice stilled him into silence.
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“It’s bad here,” Nick said. “You need to get back to the house.”
“What happened?” Ethan asked as he struggled into his coat and lifted his briefcase from the ground. Before Nick could answer his question, Ethan heard nothing but sobs and screams. One voice sounded too much like Juliet to belong to anyone else, and he looked around Arcadia’s lobby.
“What the hell is going---?”
“The redhead?” Donna asked as she trailed after him. “Should I… I can try to stop her at the front door or call security or something.”
“Listen to me, Ethan!”
Nick no longer sounded like a barfly in search of a handjob. No doubt Danielle kept him all kinds of satisfied on that front. But Nick sounded anything but happy as he breathed from across the line.
“Ethan, it’s Julie. You need to get back here right now.”
19
The hand across her mouth was vile and cold. Julie thrashed against the touch and managed a single stare over her shoulder. Her assailant was masked as he tugged at her clothes and nearly forced her to the ground.
“Stop this…”
What she wanted to come out as a scream was barely a gasp, and she stumbled backwards, her arms flailing against the counter as she finally lost her footing. The sharp edge almost made contact with her brow, but Julie turned her head at the last second and avoided the blow. But she was still slammed to the floor, hoping that the sound of her falling body would alert Nick and Danielle to her plight. Or Ethan…
Please come home now.
Her silent prayers were interrupted by the feel of the intruder’s hands hoisting her off the floor. Even dazed, Julie tried to wriggle away from the man’s hold, but his fingers tightened around her arms, and she endured the feel of knitted lips pressing against her burning cheek.
“No, please,” Julie whispered. “No again. I… I can’t…”
A hard fist flamed into her stomach, and Julie doubled over with an anguished groan. Again she hoped that sound was on her side, but her voice came out even weaker than before, and she was unable to offer even the faintest form of resistance as the man lifted her up and forced her over his shoulder. Julie’s head lolled from side to side, her trembling arms awkwardly hitting the man’s back as Ethan’s apartment transformed from sanctuary to a funhouse version of her hideaway. As the floor became the ceiling, Julie watched the kitchen peel away. How long ago since they had baked that cake? Would she ever get the chance again?
The masked man kicked open the bedroom door, and even as Julie’s world roughly turned the right way around, the thought of being on the with no line of defense started her kicking. She landed one jab into the man’s leg. Drawing his arm back, he appeared to hesitate for all of a second before smashing his fist into her face.
He said nothing as Julie passed out.
Drifting in the throes of a fitful dream, she remembered what it was like to live stripped and bruised, men upon men passing in and out of dark doors as she begged for mercy, hoped against hope for freedom. How had she not lost her mind?
“Ethan…”
She muttered his name as she heard the man rifling around his room, their room. Maybe this was nothing like everything sh
e still feared in the darkest corners of her nightmares. Rousing slowly, staying flat on the bed, her eyelids fluttered at the sight of the room torn to shreds. Looking for something? What was he looking for? Was he… could this have something to do with Ethan’s work? A rival or an angry client looking for the goods? Julie hoped for that and stayed still. If the man thought she was out cold, there might be a chance that he’d take whatever he came for and simply leave. Julie vowed to hold her breath as her eyes fell shut. She’d stay like that until the man was gone. Wait for Ethan. He had been trying to call her. Why had he suddenly stopped?
A wave of fear raced around her heart, and Julie was terrified that Ethan might be suffering more than a dazed brain with a soft mattress at his back. Did someone else have him? Were they crashing fists or worse into his sides? The thought was too much to bear, and as soon as the masked man left the room, Julie painfully pressed up to her elbows. As the room spun around her, she fell back to the sheets and worked to catch her breath. Her chest started to calm, but her heart still pounded furiously, the beat making its way up her throat. The assault to her brain was far worse than any blow, and Julie sat up again, wiping her mouth and her nose with the back of her sleeve as she slid to the ground.
“Nick… Danielle…” she whispered.
How were they not hearing this? Julie started to crawl towards the door when she paused in her pursuit of freedom. Had something happened to them, too? She pictured them bound or gutted a floor below, and without the benefit of her phone, without even one way to hope to contact Ethan, her mind turned to Kim. The last thing that she wanted was her best friend back in harm’s way. But if… if the neighbor told her that Julie was looking, conveyed how desperate she seemed to see her…
Will you come, Kim?
Not even a hint of her voice, and Julie rolled her neck under a sharp sigh.
No. I have to get out on my own.
Julie inched towards the cracked door and peered out at the apartment. The intruder carefully overturned every piece of furniture, the chairs and the table where she and Ethan had sat and shared meals. The couch where he had held her and made her feel safe. The man was not making any real noise; if Nick and Danielle were still intact and simply finished their dinner, maybe they thought she was simply rearranging the room in a futile bid to stave off the reality that was Ethan’s absence as she waited for his return.
When she saw his back squarely turned away from the bedroom door, Julie shifted to her feet and tried to run. Her legs were unsteady as she moved, and a second dizzy spell caused her to slip and fall into the ground.
And the masked man heard her escape attempt.
“No.”
Julie slowly shook her head over her shoulders and pitifully reached for the doorknob when he man was on her. He just lifted his mask away from his lips as he crushed an unwanted kiss to her mouth. His lips were tentative, and Julie clung to the hope that there might be a way to reason with him, that he might be here on someone else’s errand and didn’t really want---
Her hopes were dashed by the sharp slap of a palm across her face, and she unwillingly fell to his chest as she felt her body her body dragged across the floor, her shoes leaving her feet as she was forced back to the bed. As soon as she hit the sheets, Julie found that she lacked the strength to cry at the top of her lungs, and again he seemed to hesitate.
“Please,” Julie muttered. “Please just leave me alone.”
Through the mask, the man tilted his head to the side, and Julie clung to the naked hope that he would just leave her alone to sob and wait for Ethan, maybe look for Nick and Danielle. Gazing up at him with tear-filled eyes, she saw the hint of his exposed teeth just under his mask before he concealed his mouth and lowered his fly.
And then she yelled.
“Get away from me! Don’t do this! You sick fuck!”
Another blow met her cheek, and Julie’s sobbing head turned into the pillows as the man started to reach up her skirt. No one but Ethan had touched her there since the cabin, and she only wanted his hands. Could only stand the thought of his fingers on her soft flesh. Her nightmare seemed to unfold anew, and she tried to scratch the mask from his face.
“At least show yourself. You fucking coward!”
Julie’s screams were muted against the sheets as she was flipped to her belly. The man kept made her body bare and tore her panties away, his fingers and his hips grinding against her rear. Julie reached for the headboard, her nails barely scratching the surface when she lifted her head and finally released a great scream.
“Somebody please help me!”
The man halted in his pursuit, and Julie wept into the sheets. Finally she heard the sound of footsteps stomping up the stairs along with muffled voices. Something about calling the cops… getting help…
“The fuck!”
Julie sighed when her body was free of the man’s hands, and she gulped down a few deep breaths as unseen bodies struggled behind her. When she managed to turn over again, she saw Nick and his fists battering the man’s ever-weakening frame, and she folded he sheets, suddenly soiled in the worst way around her body as she peered through watery eyes and watched Nick’s fingers move for the mask.
“Son of a fucking---”
The masked man stomped on Nick’s foot, and as soon as he fell back into the wall, a gun was drawn.
“Come on now,” Nick said as he waved his hands before his face. “No need for that here.”
Julie saw him flinch, and his body tensed when took aim at her. Maybe a bullet was preferable to… to what he might have done. His finger curled around the trigger, and she caught sight of the hard swallow passing down his throat when the man kicked Nick one last time and broke into a run. As soon as he was gone, Julie’s soul lifted.
Until Danielle’s scream flew up the stairs.
“No!”
Nick crawled, stood, ran out of the room before Julie could utter another sound. Fearing for Danielle, Julie left the bed and followed Nick from the broken apartment. If Ethan… no. When Ethan came back, his heart was bound to shatter at the sight, but her worry for Danielle trumped any thought of righting the furniture, and she almost fell down the steps when she saw Danielle clinging to Nick as he brushed he hair from her eyes.
“You okay?” he asked.
“Prick just came flying by me,” she said. “Who the hell was he?”
Her eyes moved to Julie shaking at the top of the staircase. Seeing them both in one piece, two whole pieces, lightened her heart. But her body was still battered and shaking, and when Julie tried to take a step forward, she stumbled and would have fallen to the first floor had Nick not ran up the stairs and caught her in his arms.
“I got you,” he promised. “You’re okay now, Julie.”
Her arms were weak as he carried her back to Danielle’s side.
“Julie? Talk to me?”
Parting her lips, Julie started to tell them that she had no idea who the man was or what he really wanted when she burst into tears.
“Let’s get her inside,” Danielle said. “And lock the door, Nick.”
Her man did as he was told, and Julie sniffed as she felt her body pressed into a soft chair, and Danielle wrapped a blanket around her shoulders.
“Need to call the cops,” Danielle said.
“Right. 911.”
“No. Here.”
Danielle kissed Julie’s hair and reached for her purse. Picking through the contents, she pressed a slim card into Nick’s hand.
“Call her friend the cop,” Danielle advised.
“You think that we---”
“Morales,” Julie murmured. “I… I want to see her.”
Nick obliged, and Danielle pressed her hands to Julie’s when Nick started to lower the phone and suddenly made a second call.
“Ethan, it’s Julie. You need to come home right now.”
20
“Mr. Graff?”
Ethan pressed Nick for more information. His neighbor said somethin
g about an intruder. Juliet nearly hurt.
“Is she… is she alright?” Ethan asked.
“She’s good,” Nick said. “Dani’s with her. But you got to get back here like right now.”
Was this why she hadn’t been answering his calls? Ethan’s heart seized in his throat at the thought that she was… that someone was hurting her while he… while he was…
“Mr. Graff?”
Donna’s eyes were full of concern, and she tried to take Ethan’s arm when he pushed away from her.
“I have to go,” he said.
“Is it… is it Julie?”
He grunted and nodded as he dashed into the night. Wishing that he still had Arcadia’s gift of a car at his disposal, Ethan broke into a wild run, calling Nick again as he reached the entrance for the subway.
“You on your way, man?” Nick asked.
“What happened to her? Is she… is she hurt?”
He could hear her sobbing faintly just over the line, and Ethan begged to speak to her when he heard Nick’s footsteps and the grumble of a car coming to the stop.
“Nick! What is it? Are they… is he back?”
“It’s the cop,” Nick said.
“The---”
“The fuzz that’s her friend,” Nick said. “We got her man. Just get back here.”
As much as he wanted to keep Nick talking and hear the sound of Julie’s voice, the call started to break up as he disappeared into the tunnels.
“I’m coming now,” he said as the phone cracked against his ear. “Tell her that… Nick?”
The call was lost, and Ethan stuffed his phone into his pocket as he boarded the train. No seat was in sight, but Ethan didn’t care. Preferring to stand, he held onto the strap and rocked with the train as it ran across the rails. The shadows passed his eyes. He still tried his phone at every stop. Unable to connect, Ethan was resigned to watching rats pick through the refuse as the train lurched to attention yet again. He clicked off the stops in his mind. Six. Five. Four. Every time the train came to a pause, he thought of running for one filthy staircase or another and simply taking off on foot and trying to make his way home, knocking an array of pedestrians to their feet and not caring who he injured. He was always on the verge of making the move when the train kept going, and Ethan went back to trying his phone. No signal and no answer.