by Lisa Childs
She caught his hand, tugging on his arm. “No. You’ll be inside—with me.”
“Tessa?”
“Don’t you think it’s about time you tried out your own tub?”
Tessa didn’t know who she’d shocked more—Chad or herself—but she couldn’t ignore the desire for him that burned low in her belly. She had to make love with him…one last time.
His green eyes darkened with passion as his gaze skimmed down her naked body. “Tessa…”
She tightened her grasp on his hand. “Join me.”
“Are you sure?”
She nodded, knowing she wasn’t above begging—if he made her.
He tugged free of her grasp and lifted his hand to the buttons on his uniform shirt. She knew that usually he’d go back to the department and change into his street clothes, unless he was covering someone else’s shift. But tonight, or this morning, actually, he had brought her straight back to his house from the hospital.
She didn’t want to think about the hospital now, though. She didn’t want to think at all. So she began to hum striptease music.
A sexy grin spread across Chad’s face, making Tessa’s breath catch with how handsome he looked when he was happy. If only she believed she could really make him happy and that he wouldn’t grow to hate her again for trapping him into a relationship for which he wasn’t yet ready.
While she continued to provide some music, Chad played along, slowly unbuttoning his shirt until it parted to reveal a ribbed under shirt that molded to his muscular chest. He moved his hips to her “rhythm” as he unbuckled his belt and his pants.
She would have never believed she could fall for a man in uniform, yet she had. What was better was that she loved him even more out of it. He dropped his pants, revealing his hard thighs and dark briefs under which his erection strained. She whistled. “Oh, baby, take it all off.”
His throat rippled as he threw back his head and laughed. “You’re impossible.”
If only he knew how possible she was…
He could have her if he really wanted her, but if she told him about the baby, she would never know if he really wanted her or if he was just doing the honorable thing.
He reached out, smoothing the line she’d furrowed between her brows. “Tessa…”
She shook off her maudlin thoughts like the water beading on her shoulders. The drops rolled down her breasts, and Chad chased them with his fingers, running them over the swell of her curves, then her nipples.
She lifted her hands to the waistband of his briefs and pushed them down to free the long, hard length of him. Standing beside the tub, he was at the perfect level for her to touch him with her mouth, siding her lips over the smooth tip of his erection.
He groaned and clutched his fingers in her hair. “Tessa!” Then he jerked back, pulling away from her. “You’re rushing again.”
She shook her head. “No, I’m done speeding.”
He slid a fingertip along her jaw. “Good.”
“You won’t need to worry about me anymore,” she said.
“I don’t think it’s possible for me not to worry about you.” His hand dropped from her face. He then dragged his undershirt over his head, ruffling his black hair and baring his chest. He stepped into the tub with her, raising the water level so that it lapped at the rim and covered her breasts.
“Don’t worry,” she said again, not wanting him to compare her to Luanne anymore. “I can take care of myself.”
“I know,” he said, “but I want to take care of you.”
Her heart clenched.
Then he added, “Tonight. You’re exhausted. Let me bathe you.”
He picked up a thick washcloth and a bar of soap, which he ran over her face, down her throat to the swell of her breasts. Tessa’s worries eased as another kind of pressure built inside her, aching for the release only he could give her. He took his time with her, leaving no inch of her unwashed, even shampooing her hair and washing away the soap with a handheld shower massager.
When he was done, he lifted her from the cooling water. Skin, wet and slick, sliding against skin, he carried her into the bedroom. “No,” Tessa protested as he laid her onto the bed. “I’m too wet.”
His sexy grin flashed again. “That’s good. Then I don’t have to take my time.”
“You’re bad!”
“Your influence,” he replied. “You’re the bad one.”
She sat up and wrapped her fingers around the thick, throbbing length of his erection. “You won’t let me be as bad as I want,” she reminded him, leaning forward to threaten him with her mouth.
He pulled back again. “No, I want to take care of you.”
He did, pushing her back onto the mattress. As with the bath, he took his time with her, kissing every inch of her skin, making love to her with his mouth.
Tessa arched against him, moaning as waves of pleasure crashed through her body. Still, it wasn’t enough. “I want you.” Nails digging into his skin, she grabbed his shoulders, pulling him up. “Now!”
He kissed her deeply. “I want you, too.” His heart pounded against hers as his breath came fast and hard. “Now!”
She lifted her legs, wrapping them around his waist as she arched her hips. His erection nudged against her. She shifted, trying to take him inside.
Chad hesitated, his body shaking with desire. “Wait! I gotta find a condom…” He rolled off the bed and headed into the bathroom.
Tessa caught herself from calling him back, from telling him it wasn’t necessary anymore. It hadn’t worked last time anyway. A cabinet door slammed, and he returned with a triumphant grin.
“Found one!” He tore open the wrapper and sheathed himself. Then he jumped onto the bed with her, wrapping her in his arms and rolling them until she straddled him.
“Yes!” Tessa exclaimed, the triumphant one now as she rose above him, then lowered herself onto his straining erection. She shuddered as he lifted his hips and buried himself deep inside her. “Ohh…”
He lifted his hands, cupping her breasts and stroking his thumbs across her sensitive nipples. She bit her lip and moved, and he lifted his hips. Together they found a rhythm. She leaned forward clutching his shoulders. Then he held her hips, lifting her and shifting her.
The pressure inside Tessa broke free, and she shuddered as a powerful orgasm devastated her. Chad shouted her name and buried himself even deeper, pulsing inside her. His hand shaking, he cupped the back of her head and pulled her down for a kiss.
“You are so amazing,” he murmured against her lips. “We really need to talk.”
She shook her head. “Later. I’m so tired.” She wasn’t entirely lying, as her eyelids drooped.
“I’m sorry…” he murmured, rolling and separating from her to settle her onto her side on the bed. “I didn’t bring you back here for—”
“For sex?” she asked, managing a smile.
“Tessa, I really wanted just to take care of you,” he insisted, with discernible traces of guilt in his voice.
She burrowed into the pillow. “And you did.”
He pressed a kiss to her hair, then the mattress lifted as he left the bed. Tessa was asleep before he returned.
CHAD AWOKE to the sound of a door closing. “Tessa?”
He rolled naked from the bed, still warm from her body. As he walked into the living room, he squinted against the sunlight streaming through blinds. The room was empty, but he noticed the leather box that had been on the coffee table now sat on the floor, as if someone had been looking through the pictures inside. Tessa?
He had to talk to her, had to explain that Luanne was his past. Tessa—she was his future, if she’d agree to share her life, her responsibilities, with him.
Not seeing her in the kitchen or adjoining laundry room, he hurried to the front door and caught a glimpse of her outside, climbing into the back of a cab.
Was this payback for the way he’d left her in the middle of the night? Or was she just anxious to g
et back to work? He knew how much she thrived on her sales job; how she had not wanted to lose her license because she might lose her job.
But then she turned and her gaze met his through the windows—and he couldn’t help but think that she was saying goodbye.
Chapter Fifteen
Gentle fingers stroked Tessa’s forehead, rousing her from her fitful slumber. She blinked open her eyes to her mother’s concerned face.
“Kevin said you stayed home today,” Sandy said. “Are you still feeling sick?”
Misery and panic welled up again. “I’m not sick.”
“I know,” Sandy said matter-of-factly. “You’re pregnant.”
Stunned, Tessa pushed back her blanket and sat up next to her mother, who had crawled into bed with her and leaned against the wicker headboard. “You knew?”
Sandy offered a gentle smile. “I’ve been pregnant too many times not to recognize the signs.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I’ve known you twenty-seven years, Tessa,” her mother reminded her with a little chuckle. “It’s like Nana always said. Tessa has to come around to things on her own.”
She thought of the car accident over a week ago when she had finally realized the true consequences of speeding. According to news reports, two of those five kids and the driver in the pickup hadn’t survived their injuries. Poor Tyler had to live with that. She’d gone by the hospital to see him, but he hadn’t remembered her. Thankfully he hadn’t remembered anything about the crash, except the consequences.
She sighed and agreed with her mother, “Yes, I do.”
“So you confirmed it?” Sandy asked. “Did you take a pregnancy test?”
“I had tests done at the hospital.”
Alarm stole the color from her mother’s face. “Is everything all right?”
She swallowed hard, choking down her misery and panic. “Yes.”
Her mother slid a hand under her chin and tipped it up so that Tessa had to meet her gaze. “No, it’s not. What’s the matter?”
Her breath hitched with the threat of tears. “I’m sorry, Mama, but I don’t want to be like you—a single mom raising her baby alone.”
“I wasn’t alone,” Sandy said. “I had my mom to help me. Then I had you.” She reached for Tessa’s hand and squeezed it. “But, Tessa, you’re not like me. You picked a good guy. He keeps calling here wanting to talk to you, and he doesn’t even know, does he?”
“No.” A tear slipped from Tessa’s eye and streaked a wet trail down her cheek. She dashed it away with the back of her hand. “I want him to love me for me.”
She knew that was impossible. She had seen those pictures he kept in a box right on the coffee table. She’d accidentally knocked the box over when she’d been rushing out of the condo. She’d stopped to pick up the spilled contents—the mementoes of their life together. Their wedding album. Loose photos of many, many holidays and adventurous trips. They had been together a long time and had had an exciting marriage. Tessa had no doubt how much Chad had loved his wife. It had shone in his eyes and in his smile. Luanne, so beautiful with her dark hair and bright eyes, had reciprocated that love completely. Now Tessa understood why he couldn’t let go of Luanne.
They had had something special. Something rare. Like the Gillespies, theirs had been a forever kind of love. It didn’t matter that Luanne had died—nothing could destroy a love that deep and true. Tessa wasn’t just competing with a ghost for Chad. Luanne was alive in those photos—and in Chad’s heart. There was no room for Tessa.
“So you love him?” her mother asked.
She nodded, and another tear escaped through her lashes.
“That’s good, Tessa,” her mother encouraged, sliding an arm around her shoulders and squeezing. “It’s wonderful that you’ve finally fallen in love.”
“It would be,” she said, “if I thought he could love me back. But he still loves his dead wife.”
“Oh, honey, I’m sure you’re imagining that because you’re scared—”
“She’s not imagining it,” her teenage brother interrupted from where he stood in the doorway.
“Kevin!” Tessa hadn’t realized he was there, listening.
“I was worried about you,” he explained. “Looks like I had a good reason to worry.”
“How do you know about Chad’s wife?” she asked. “You barely talked to him that night you met.”
Color rushed to Kevin’s face, and he stammered, “I—I—I’ve been meaning to tell you—”
Fear rose with nausea into her throat. “Oh, Kevin, you haven’t gotten into trouble—”
“No!” Both mother and son answered.
“I recognized Chad, too that night because I knew him from the pizza parlor,” Kevin said.
Tessa nodded as realization dawned. “You’re working for Giancarlo.” Kevin idolized his older brother, James; she should have known he would try to follow in his footsteps, even to the extent of sneaking around behind her back. “You should have told me.”
“You would have talked to Carlo and made him fire me.”
She shook her head. “Just cut back on your hours. You can’t work so much with school.”
“See, Tess, that’s what I mean—”
“She’s right,” Sandy agreed. “You need to cut back on your hours. School’s more important than work.” For the first time that Tessa recalled, her mother acted like a parent by setting limitations on her children.
Kevin nodded. “Okay. I’ll be making more money now that I can get my license.”
Tessa looked from mother to son. “You helped him get in his hours?”
Kevin’s gaze couldn’t quite meet hers. “Uh, no. Chad helped me.”
“You’ve been driving with Chad?”
“For quite a few weeks now,” the teenager sheepishly admitted, lowering his gaze to the carpet. “That’s how I got to know him and how I got to know about his wife.”
“He told you?” As a lesson against speeding? Chad hadn’t even told her. If not for Paddy’s interference, she might have never learned about Luanne.
Kevin shook his head. “No. He showed me.”
“Pictures?” Those pictures she had gone through with such guilt at violating his privacy. Curiosity had compelled her to look through all of them.
“He still has their house,” Kevin continued.
“No, he lives in a condo.”
“But he still owns the house. He lives in the condo and rents out their old place,” Kevin said. “He paid me to help him clean it up after the last tenants moved out.”
“He kept the house?” Tessa asked, her voice cracking with hopelessness. Even though he couldn’t live in it, he obviously hadn’t been able to let it go. Like his wife…
“It’s huge. Big yard,” Kevin said, obviously impressed. “And there’s this baby room that he doesn’t let anyone who moves in touch. His wife did a mural of cop cars and fire engines.”
Their baby had been a boy.
“It’s really cool,” Kevin said. “Christopher and Joey would love it.”
So along with being fun-loving and vivacious, Luanne had been talented, too. No, there was no competing with such an incredible woman.
“Well, that’s great,” Sandy said. “He has a house all ready for a family. He’s going to be so happy to find out you’re pregnant.”
Tessa fought against the tears stinging her eyes. “I don’t want to be a replacement for what he lost.”
“Oh, honey,” Sandy sympathized. Pulling Tessa into her arms, she rocked her as if she were a little girl again, needing comfort after a bad dream. If only it were a dream…
She wouldn’t have changed anything that happened except the ending. She would dream that Chad was desperately in love with her and wanted to build a life with her and their child. But he couldn’t build a new life until he really laid his old life to rest. She couldn’t ask him to move on; he had to make that decision on his own.
She would be all rig
ht if he didn’t. She slid her palm over her still-flat belly, and happiness filled her. She was pregnant. She was going to have a baby. She also had her family, and she knew, just as she had always been there for them, they would be there for her.
“SHE’S NOT HERE,” Paddy said as he caught Chad staring at the long table in the Lighthouse where many members of the CPA had gathered after class. Even the two female school-teachers, who usually skipped the get-together due to their early mornings, had joined the group. The mayor’s daughter, who he would have once believed had skipped the previous gatherings in favor of hanging out in upscale downtown clubs, also sat at the table.
Chad swiveled his stool back to the bar and turned toward his friend. “I see that.”
“She wasn’t in class, either.”
She’d skipped the last class before graduation from the academy?
“She wasn’t?” His stomach knotted with fear. Had she told him the truth about the results of her medical tests? Was she really all right?
“You’re not freaking out over her violating the court agreement for CPA participation,” Paddy observed, his eyes narrowing with suspicion. “She hasn’t been in class since your ride-along. What happened?”
“You know about the crash—”
“I know about that. Fatalities. It was tragic,” Paddy said with a heavy sigh. “But I don’t know what happened between the two of you.”
Chad shrugged despite the tension that had been gripping him since she’d sneaked out of his bed. “I don’t know, either.”
“Oh.” Paddy nodded as if he understood.
“What?” Chad asked, his voice cracking with urgency. If his friend knew what was going on…
“She’s been avoiding you? Skipping class? Not coming here?” Paddy asked as if reading items off an invisible list. “Not taking your calls?”
Chad nodded.
His friend offered a smile of commiseration as he said, “You screwed up.”
“I did before. I thought…I thought I did everything right this time.” He had brought her home with him; he had taken care of her. God, he wished she hadn’t seen those photos. He’d finally put that box away, in the top of a closet where it should have been for a while.