"You've certainly tried a lot of different things," Juliet remarked, growing more impressed with the man she had married with his every word.
He nodded. "I have. There's a lot of money to be made in India, but by the right people."
She looked at him carefully. "What do you mean by the right ones?"
"People who will appreciate the country's beauty, don't want to despoil it all, take without giving back. I grow tea, it's true, but I make sure my workers are treated well. I buy and sell furniture, but I give the craftsman a realistic wage."
"I'm glad to hear it. Eswara has told me something of the ills of her country. I'm glad you don't exploit people."
He stroked her cheek tenderly. "I'm sorry if I've--"
"Tell us about the monkeys," Andrew said excitedly.
He shook his head. "It's far too late and your mother is done in. Tomorrow, I promise. Or the next night, since it will be her turn to tell the stories tomorrow evening."
"Will you be here in two nights' time?" she asked softly, though she hated sounding so jealous and insecure.
"Wild horses couldn't drag me from your side now." He kissed her hand and helped her rise.
They tucked the boys in and then he carried her down to his own room, where he had had Sam make up a roaring blaze.
He laid her on the bed gently and began to remove the pins from her hair. "I shall be your maid tonight, my dear. Nothing but pleasure, anything you like."
"Anything?"
"Unless I think it's going to hurt you."
"No, but it might hurt you. You hate not being in control," she observed perceptively.
"We'll see. I can try to be less bossy for one night."
"Then fetch me that hand cream we bought before, please?"
He handed her the bottle and she told him to remove his clothes.
"What about yours?"
"Sush. Not a sound. I give the orders tonight. Lie on your front."
Juliet revelled in her sense of power as he did so. She began to massage him all over, and was looking forward to discovering first-hand the things that Eswara had told her would please a man.
Pleased was a mild description as Lawrence writhed and twisted as her slick hand slipped over his bottom and thighs. "Good God, who taught you--"
"Eswara thought you might stay home a few more nights if I learned massage."
"Remind me to thank Eswara. But you don't have to bribe me to keep me home. I've, well, I've missed you."
"You don't have to say--"
"It's true. There's been no one else, Juliet. Nothing except cold baths twice a day to quell my passion. I can't get enough of you when I'm home. You hug, kiss, or touch me and I go wild. I'm afraid I might hurt you."
"Is that why you--"
"Yes. It's why I'm telling you now. As soon as I turn over I'm going to grab you, I just know it."
"Unless I grab you first."
"What?"
"It's my night. I can do whatever I like, you said. So spread your arms out to the sides and don't touch me until I tell you."
He did as she asked, and roared out his passion as she took him in her mouth and finished him there.
"Oh, Juliet, you have no idea. Now I'm even more hot and rampaging than I was before."
"Funny. So am I." She glided onto his re-hardening flesh and held his arms down. "Ah, no touching, remember. No kissing either. Not until I say."
She set a pacy rhythm which was easy to follow. He took off like a comet across the heavens within a minute.
"Easy, love. We have all night," she said with a smile. "Or at least that's what I think you said to me once."
"Kiss me?"
"Kiss me." She moved upwards slightly so that they were still joined, but her breasts were level with his mouth. He feasted on them for a time, and then asked if he could touch.
"Yes."
He brought his hands up reverently, touching the side and underside of each.
"That's what Eswara said about Indian lovemaking. The tantra, she called it. Getting to really know something, not just grabbing and consuming."
"I'll try to be more patient, I really will," he vowed, his eyes blazing with barely suppressed emotion.
"I'm not complaining. It's been wonderful. You're very bossy, though. It's frustrating to have no will of my own, no chance to well, participate, touch and kiss you the way I long to."
"But the consequences--"
"You fear your strength. But apart from shouting and being selfish you're not a violent man. Why do you think you'll hurt me?"
He shook his head. "I don't want to talk about it, think about it."
"Perhaps you'll tell me one day?"
He nodded wordlessly. "Please kiss me."
She lowered her mouth onto his and he surged into her so strongly she gasped in surprise. His engorged head filled her, and she spasmed around it. One stroke left her mindless with need. A second sent her over the edge. A third had her clasping his head as she rubbed her crested nipples against his massive chest, every part of her body touching his in an erotic massage all of its own. The hand cream set them to gliding against one another. He spent himself inside her explosively, and found himself laughing with joy as he collapsed at last.
She frowned with puzzlement and hurt.
He held her tightly and was at last able to speak. "God, that was wonderful. And I have some ideas on how to make it even better."
"Lawrence, what--"
He went into his wardrobe and came back a short time later with some four by four swatches of fabric.
"Left over from my piecework days. Ah, here's a nice piece of silk I can think of some excellent uses for. Not to mention this lovely soft bit of fur."
He rubbed them over her bare flesh slowly.
"Oh, Lawrence, oh!"
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Lawrence methodically worked his way through his fabric samples for the next week. If Juliet was sorry he had taken control of her special evening she never said one word of complaint. For there were times when he was so driven she couldn't rein him in, and didn't really want to. It seemed odd to her that such a powerful business man should be in such dire need of acceptance and affirmation, but now that he was not constantly sniping at her, she was more than willing to give it.
It was all too easy. He was wonderful with the children, and gracious to their guests, the Jeromes and their son Ash and his new bride Ellen.
"We were recently at the Holi festival with the Avenels," Martin told his old friend. "The ladies said what a wonderful time you all had in Bath."
"Er, yes, we did."
"What is Holi, exactly?" Juliet ventured to ask the dark haired man, not much older than his step son, but who had a tragic air about him which told her he had seen much of the world and suffered greatly before he had finally met his wife Eswara and found happiness at last.
Martin deferred to Lawrence. "You must know all about it from living in India for so many years."
Lawrence explained the festival of colors to his wife briefly.
I'd love to visit India itself," Martin said with a sigh. "You must tell me what it was like living there from the english perspective."
"It wasn't always easy, but it was incredible. I'd love to take Juliet some time. Though, with so many months at sea in both directions…"
She smiled up at her husband. "Oh, I don't know, I think we could find ample things to help us pass the time most pleasantly."
He grinned at her, and would have kissed her senseless had they not been in company.
"Anyway, you must come to London with us next year for Holi," Martin offered. "Or any other occasion you like."
"Perhaps," Lawrence said coolly.
"It's so good to celebrate spring at last. A time of new beginnings," Eswara said with a smile. "And I'll bet you met on the second of February."
Lawrence thought for a moment. "Yes, yes we did. But what--"
"Bryony would tell you it's the Celtic fertility festival of
Imbolc, which means 'in the belly'."
Lawrence nodded and shrugged.
Juliet stared at her friend pointedly, then gave a slight shake of her head.
"More tea, anyone," Ash offered. "And then I get to tell everyone about my wedding." He beamed at his new blond wife in a way which filled Juliet with not a little envy.
Eswara's brows had shot up at Juliet's silent warning, and to the younger woman's relief, she had let Ash take center stage.
But as soon as the two of them were alone, Eswara whispered, "You need to tell him some time, Juliet. I can scarcely credit the fact that he hasn't figured it out already."
She shrugged. "many men are ignorant of such things. Besides, it's best to err on the side of caution. Remember my mother's history. Let's just get past the first three months, shall we?"
"All right. But I'm telling you, you need to be honest with him. It's because of your mother's past history that I say that."
"But things are going so well at the moment, I really don't want things to change,"Juliet confessed with a sigh.
"They might get better," Eswara suggested.
She shook her head slowly. "I wish I could think that, but I don't."
"You need to trust each other."
Juliet shrugged. "I'd like to. But he doesn't trust me."
"He doesn't trust love."
"Of course I love him--"
Eswara smiled. "I meant his love for you."
Juliet wagged her head quickly from side to side, and rose from the window seat where they had gone for their tete a tete. "Oh, no, he doesn't--"
"I'll bet you anything you like that he does. You'll see. It won't be easy, but he does."
The Duke of Ellesmere and his wife also called, and Clifford Stone and his family. Jonathan came to visit as well to encourage them to join the rest of the parish on Sundays now that Lawrence was home and the boys were living with them.
Lawrence agreed to do so and apologised for missing Easter. "I've been so busy with the tea trade and settling into this house and getting to know my nephews, it all slipped my mind."
"No matter. Come any time. You're always welcome," Jonathan reassured him.
Lawrence smiled back. He was almost starting to feel as though it were true. And as hard as he tried to be suspicious of the Rakehells, he could find nothing objectionable about their conversation, manners, or the way they treated Juliet and the boys, as if they had known them all their lives.
Perhaps it was not so terrible being a family man with a good set of acquaintance after all…. Or the husband of the most beautiful woman in all of Somerset, he reflected, as his wife smiled across at him as though he had just given her the greatest gift by agreeing to take them to church.
Nash was less than pleased to discover Lawrence had been home for over a week and never once attended to business. He was clever enough at defrauding Lawrence behind his back, but he needed him to sign papers and do all the running which would made his trading deals so successful that the pickings would be ripe.
He came to the house and in a subtle way reprimanded Juliet for keeping Lawrence from important duties.
She stared at him for a moment after he had spoken to her in the drawing room, where she had been tidying away the boys' toys now that they had gone up for their naps.
It might well be true, but it wasn't his employee's place to say so and she told him as much.
"Don't make an enemy of me," he warned. "I can send you scuttling back to whatever whorehouse you came from with your tail between your legs. Or my tail between your legs."
Juliet gasped and clamped her hand to her mouth.
"What's going on here?" Lawrence asked, entering the room just then.
"Just getting better acquainted with your charming wife," Nash drawled.
The way he said the last two words made it sound like an insult.
Lawrence frowned and looked from one to the other. "Well come along, don't dawdle. If you really need me in Bristol, let's go." He gave his wife a warm kiss and promised her he would see her later.
Juliet sat down in front of the fire, stunned. How had Nash dared be so rude? Here was an enemy indeed. And a friend to Matilda, if he had defrauded Lawrence in order to even take the housekeeping money, she guessed, thinking back over his attitude from the moment he had seen her in the carriage.
An uneasy prickle at the base of her spine sent her running to Eswara.
"The baby is fine," she reassured her after a brief examination. "Don't get yourself into such a state."
"I'm sorry, it's just—"
The unusual golden eye missed nothing. "Tell me what's really bothering you."
Juliet confided in her friend at once as to what had just happened in the drawing room.
To her relief, Eswara agreed with her assessment that something strange was going on. "I know the servants were most peculiar. They hardly did a stroke of work that I could see. I think you're right, there is more to him than meets the eye. Confide in your brother. Perhaps he'll be able to find out--"
She shook her head. "No, I couldn't. Besides, Nash has been with Lawrence for years. He trusts him. It isn't my place to interfere in the business."
"Still, I would keep an eye on him. Your intuition that he's a threat must be based on something."
She nodded. "Thanks, I will."
"And do me a favour? Take the martial arts lessons from Ash?"
"No, I couldn't.
"Me or Martin then?"
"No, really," Juliet protested. "Whatever would Lawrence think if he found out I had been brawling with a man."
"Not brawling. Learning to be independent."
Juliet looked around the exotically appointed sitting room and sighed. "I think he believes I'm independent enough without snapping men's arms and legs off."
"So you still haven't told him who you really are?"
She shrugged. "I'm Juliet Howard, his wife."
Eswara shook her head. "He's going to find out. Then what will he say. He'll be furious in direct proportion to how much of a fool he feels when he does."
She sighed, and nodded. "If he asks me about my past life, I'll tell him. Otherwise, he doesn't seem to care. All he's interested in is the future."
"But we're the sum of all our parts. Especially him. He can never move forward if he doesn't look back."
Juliet grinned. "Now that's just one of your cryptic Hindu sayings which sound very spooky and mysterious."
Eswara shook her head. "You've sensed it. He's refused to talk about it. But he and the boys are never going to be healed if you don't discuss it."
"I can't force him to--"
The older woman nodded. "I know. Just be there for Lawrence. Tell him you love him. It's a big risk, but--"
Juliet nodded. "I know. But I risk more if I don't tell him."
"Tell him everything," Eswara urged. "Secrets in a marriage are never healthy, even if you think you're protecting the other person."
"I will tell him about the baby, and about me."
"When?"
"Soon." She gave her friend a reassuring smile. "I promise."
A couple of days later Lawrence came upon his wife in the study. She quickly put her history manuscript under the tea story she had been jotting down when she got some spare time whilst the boys were at their lessons.
He gave her a warm hug and kiss. "I was thinking about your tea bag idea."
"Yes?" she said carefully.
"Well, it would have to have enough tea in it to make a whole pot, and would have to have enough room for the contents to infuse, about triple the size of the quantity, four times for luck."
"What shape?" she asked promptly.
He considered this for a time. "I don't think it matters. Whatever would be easiest for the women to make."
"Square or rectangular, you would have to sew four sides, triangular three, round, you need to go right the way around. We talked about a little drawstring and putting your tag on them."
The Rakehell Regency Romance Series Boxed Set 5 Page 24