by A. T Brennan
“I don’t know, but I have to be on her side.”
“Ty, what do you mean?” The tightness in his chest was crushing, and he was having a hard time pulling in a breath.
“She was talking about going to the police. If she does, then I’ll have to back her up.”
He didn’t hear the rest of what Ty said, all he heard was the word police and his mind went blank.
It was as if he was taken back to that night when he was sixteen. He’d been playing a video game when the police had come to the door. They hadn’t said they were there to arrest him. They’d only told his grandmother they needed to talk to him about an open case. She’d let them in, and they’d come into the living room.
He could still remember them standing over him. Their faces had been grim, and for some reason he remembered how neither of them had taken off their hats. That had stuck with him, and he remembered thinking this wasn’t a friendly visit when he’d noticed that.
One of the officers had asked if he knew Alexa Barton. He’d said yes, not sure where the conversation was going. When the officer had asked if they’d had sex he’d been so shocked he’d sputtered and looked over at his grandparents, not wanting them to know he had and wondering if he’d get in trouble.
The officer hadn’t liked that, and he’d barked at him to keep his eyes forward and answer the question. He’d said yes, wondering why the hell the police were asking about a girl he’d hooked up with. That was when the cuffs had come out, and they’d read him his rights as they arrested him for sexual assault and rape.
He still remembered his grandmother bursting into tears, his grandfather shouting at him to keep his mouth shut and wait until they got him a lawyer before saying anything else. He remembered being hauled out of his house and shoved into a squad car without shoes or a coat in the middle of the fall.
He didn’t remember much between the car and being locked in an interrogation room. He’d had his picture taken, done his fingerprints, and had been searched, but he’d blocked most of that out from shock.
The next real memory he had was sitting in a cold room surrounded by metal and staring at himself in the huge mirror across from where they’d cuffed him to the chair. His lawyer had told him he’d been held for six hours before they’d let him in to see him. All he remembered was wetting his pants because no one came when he shouted that he had to go to the bathroom.
He’d answered a dozen questions a hundred different ways. He’d had to describe every aspect of their sexual encounter in detail, and they’d kept trying to trip him up and make him mix up the details. Thankfully his lawyer had shot down their attempts to make him agree to things he hadn’t said, but the way they’d looked at him, the things they’d accused him of had been terrible.
He’d been a sixteen-year-old kid who’d had sex with a virgin. He hadn’t been the most experienced himself. When they’d constantly harped on if he’d asked her permission before doing something, if she’d explicitly said yes or if he’d coerced her in any way, he’d started to second-guess himself. He’d wondered if he had done something wrong.
She’d seemed into it. It hadn’t been anything spectacular, but she hadn’t said no or tried to stop him in any way, but the cops made it seem that without her express permission he’d raped her.
He’d understood how consent was a fluid thing. It could change or be taken away at any moment, but she’d given him absolutely no indication that he should stop. She’d been an active participant, albeit a slightly hesitant one.
He’s spent the night in jail with drunks and other criminals, and he’d been released the next day. The investigation had been called off after three days. Alexa had admitted the truth while being questioned. Her mom had read her diary, and when she’d asked about her having sex, Alexa had been so afraid of getting into trouble she’d blurted out the first thing she’d thought of to deflect the situation onto him.
Her mom had been the one who’d pushed her to go to the police even though weeks had passed, and she’d been the one who’d pushed for the charges to be laid. Back then he’d hated her mother, but as an adult he understood why she’d done it. Her daughter had told her someone hurt her. Her job as a mother was to believe her and to try and right the wrong.
It was the same situation with Ty. He might not completely believe his sister, but he had to back her up. She was family, and he had to stand behind her.
“Clay?”
“What?” He jumped at the sound of his name. He’d zoned out and forgotten Ty was still standing in front of him.
“Did you hear me?”
“Not past the word police.” He shook his head.
“I don’t know what she’s going to do, but I talked to Jerry.”
“What?”
Jerry Carmichael was their boss and the owner of the garage. He’d worked for Jerry for almost twelve years now. Ty had been there for four.
“Why would you talk to him about any of this?”
“I can’t exactly hang out with you anymore, not until all of this is cleared up. I’m the one who set you up, and I know both of you. I’m in the middle of this. I can’t work with you until it’s sorted.”
“What did you ask?” He tried to keep his voice even as he stared at Ty. Was he going to lose his job over this?
“I asked to be put on opposite shifts. I’m going to be working mornings. You’ll take over the nights so there’s no overlap.”
“Wait, the hours don’t work like that.” He shook his head. “Mornings are nine to four, nights are five until nine. You can’t be full time and only work nights.”
“There’s the Saturday shift on top of that.”
“That’s still only ten hours if you work the whole day.”
“He’s going to give you the schedule, but that’s how it’s going to work.”
He did the math in his head. Even if he worked the full day on Saturday he’d still be losing over ten hours in single week.
“Until this is clear, it’s the way it has to be.”
“Ty—”
“I’m sorry. I really am.” He shrugged and turned on his heel.
As soon as Ty walked out of the door Clay almost fell onto the desk as he was hit with a wave of dizziness. It was all happening again, only this time there was no one to get him a lawyer and his identity wouldn’t be protected. His reputation would be ruined. He was already losing hours, and nothing had even been reported.
Jerry might like him, but he had four daughters and was very much into women’s rights. If Clay was arrested for assault he could kiss his job goodbye. Hell, he might even have to kiss it goodbye before then because he had a feeling he was going to be having a closed door meeting with Jerry very soon.
* * * *
Clay stared at the shelf in front of him, looking at the different cases of beer as he contemplated which one he wanted tonight.
Things had been rough for the past two months, and he knew he was drinking too much. He’d gone from having one or two beers a night to at least four, and on his off days he was getting drunk. He’d never been one to get drunk alone. When he was out or with people that was different, but to sit at home and purposefully drink enough so he passed out wasn’t like him, and he hated that he did it.
His life was relatively normal again. Riley hadn’t gone to the police, but she’d never really retracted her accusation. Apparently she’d told Ty she’d lied about when he’d hit her and the bruise was from something else. She’d admitted he hadn’t hit her that night, but she’d hinted that he’d mistreated her prior to their breakup. Ty was still caught in the middle of things.
His hours were back to normal, but things were strained. Whenever he and Ty were scheduled together things were tense, and everyone at the garage knew what was going on.
He’d taken a real financial hit when his hours had been reduced, and he was still trying to catch up on things. He was still terrified the police would come knocking on his
door and arrest him for something he didn’t do, again.
He sighed and picked up a case of his usual. He didn’t feel like mixing it up tonight. It was Saturday, and he didn’t have to work tomorrow. He was in for another night of getting drunk and passing out.
He took the case up to the cash register and got in line behind a woman with long brown hair. He was distracted, but he discreetly checked her out as she dug around in her purse for something.
She was attractive, or at least her body was. She had curves and long, shapely legs. Her hair was dark like he preferred, and when she shifted he could see the swell of a pretty ample chest under her shirt.
It wasn’t until he put his beer on the conveyer belt behind her two bottles of wine that she glanced behind her, and he almost choked.
“Clay?”
“Jenna?”
She just stared at him with a shocked look on her face. “Hi,” she said after a long pause.
“Hi.” He shook his head. “How’s it going?”
“Good. You?”
Something about the way she said “good” made him think she wasn’t telling him the truth. He wondered if she was okay.
Her face looked the same. She was still beautiful, but her eyes were tired and she looked weary.
“Good,” he lied.
They moved up in line, and he watched as the cashier rang through her purchases.
“So, are you here visiting?” he asked as she pulled out her card to pay.
“Kind of.”
“Kind of?”
“I guess you could say I’m here for an extended vacation.” She gave him a wry smile as she punched her code into the machine.
“Oh?”
“It’s a long story.” She shook her head and put her card away.
He watched as she thanked the cashier and picked up her bag. He thought she was going to say goodbye and walk away, but she just moved ahead so he could come up to the cashier.
“Big Saturday plans?” she asked as she nodded to his beer.
“Not exactly.” He chuckled and pulled out some cash to pay.
“Oh?”
“Thanks,” he said to the cashier as she gave him his change. He dropped the coins into the collection box in front of the till and picked up his beer. “I’d like to say this’ll last a while, but the way I’ve been going, probably not.”
She chuckled and fell into step with him as he started to leave the store.
“I guess I can say the same. I would love to tell you this was for the week, but that would be a lie.” She nodded to the bag in her had.
“So why are you home?” he asked as they stopped outside the store.
Two years ago he’d told himself he would still be friendly with her, but he was done seeing her as anything other than a casual friend. He’d been keeping track of her through social media, but they hadn’t had any real communication since she’d left his apartment that morning.
Now that he was standing in front of her he felt something inside him tug, and it wasn’t just physical. His body reacted, and he felt himself getting hard. He was very grateful he was wearing jeans so she wouldn’t be able to tell unless she really looked at him, but the real tug was emotional.
It was at that moment he realized he’d missed her. He’d tried to tell himself he’d gotten over her. That he was fine with not having her in his life. But that had been a lie. He still felt a connection with her, even after only exchanging a few sentences, and he wanted to help her.
Something was bothering her, and he wanted to help her feel better. He still wanted to know her and have her know him. He wanted her in his life, and the realization was a little startling.
He’d never really been in love. There had been a time when he’d confused lust with love—and even infatuation with love—and he’d told a few girls he loved them when he really hadn’t. He didn’t know if he loved Jenna, but he knew he wanted to see what was there.
Ten years ago they’d had a one-night stand at a party, and that had started the back and forth they’d been doing for the past decade. Every time he’d seen her over the years his feelings had grown. Even though he didn’t really know her anymore, he still felt a connection with her that made him think there was something there.
She was the only person he couldn’t get out of his head. She was the only woman he’d never been able to walk away from. She was still the only one who made him want to open up and let her in, no questions asked.
He didn’t know if that meant he loved her or if it just meant he could, but in that moment he knew that this was it.
Ten years of chance meetings couldn’t be a coincidence. Ten years of coming together only to have something pull them apart was either a sign they needed to cut each other off and really and truly forget about the other, or it was a sign they had to stop letting other shit get in the way.
Every time they’d walked away from each other it had been because of an outside force or their own stupid decisions. He’d never really believed in fate or destiny, but someone or something had to be trying to tell him something if after ten years he couldn’t seem to let her go.
He had no idea what she was thinking or feeling, but she didn’t seem all that eager to end the conversation and walk away. That had to mean something. Didn’t it?
“I lost my job.” She sighed and shifted her bag to the other arm.
“I’m sorry. What happened?”
“The company decided to streamline so they merged my department with another. Between the two of us who had the same job there was only one position, and they went with him.”
“That sucks.”
“He had more time with them and more experience.” She shrugged. “It was the right call, but with everything else going on it was like the nail in the coffin, you know?”
He watched as she pulled a brand-new package of cigarettes out of her purse.
“Since when do you smoke?” he asked, surprised.
She looked down at the package and then at him. “I don’t. I mean I did, but I quit.”
“Yet you’re holding a pack right now.”
She sighed and looked at him. “I started about a year and a half ago. I was friends with a lot of smokers, I was dating one. I was always around it. One night we were all drinking, and someone offered me one. I still don’t know why, but I smoked it. By the time the night was over I’d had a lot. I bought a pack the next day, and yeah.”
“When did you quit?”
“Almost six months ago.” She sighed. “I swear I actually hate it. I hate how unhealthy it is and how it’s a waste of money, but I don’t deal with things well.”
“What do you mean?”
“When I get stressed I tend to fall back on vices.” She shrugged as she looked at him, the pack still in her hand. “Food. This.” She nodded to the bag under her arm. “Then these.” She shook the pack slightly. “I guess it was a way to stop with the others. It’s probably the worst one for me, but it’s the one I started to fall back on.”
“Not sex?” He grinned. “That’s a great one when you’re stressed out.”
She laughed. “Not when I’m single. If I’m with someone, then I’ll apologize in advance for all the chafing.”
He laughed and shook his head. It was nice to see her smile, and hear her laugh again.
“When I’m alone it doesn’t do it for me. It can be fun in the moment, or not, then after I just feel dirty, so it’s not worth it. As bad as the others are, they’re safer.”
“True.” He nodded. “Do you really want to light one of those up, or do you just think you do because of what you’re dealing with?”
“I think I do.” She sighed.
“Then how about you give me those and we go somewhere to talk.”
“I don’t want to put you out.” She shook her head.
“I wouldn’t have offered if it would put me out.”
She looked at him closely and then
handed him the pack. “You look like you’ve got a lot on your mind too.”
“You could say that.” He nodded to the beer under his arm.
“Then how about we go and both talk. Maybe see if talking about things helps with the vices.”
“Like a sharing circle?” He grinned.
“If you want to call it that.” She laughed. “I was thinking more like a drink and bitch session.”
“That’s sounds like something chicks do.”
“It is, but we can’t be the only ones. You don’t get together with the guys and have a few drinks?”
“Sure.” He nodded.
“And do you ever just complain about shit while you do?”
“Yeah.”
“So it’s the same thing, just without a title.”
He laughed and nodded. She had a point.
“Want to come to my place? We’re both prepared for the drinking part at least.”
“Sure.” She smiled. “Are you at the same place as last time?”
He nodded. “Did you drive here?”
“I did.”
“I’ll meet you there? Just wait in front of the doors if you get there before me.”
“Sure, sounds good.”
“Great, then I’ll see you there.” He pulled his keys out of his pocket and gave her a smile.
She smiled back and nodded before turning to head away from him.
He watched her walk, his eyes on her hips and her ass for a moment, before shaking his head and looking away. He headed toward his car, making sure to take a slight detour so he could throw out the pack of cigarettes.
He had no idea what he was expecting to come out this, but he did know one thing for sure. He was going to pay very close attention to how much she drank. He would try to help her as best he could, but if she had more than a drink an hour, then he wouldn’t touch her, no matter what.
As he climbed into the car he had no idea why he’d immediately gone there. She was coming over to talk, not to fuck him. Just because he was hot for her and wanted nothing more than to make love to her again, that didn’t mean the thought had even crossed her mind.
He’d sworn the last time was their last time. For all he knew she still thought of him as the hometown backup while he was contemplating if he loved her or not, but that didn’t change his feelings for her.