"No, I...I just want to see Letizia," Dara replied. Mal's reaction worried her. What if he decided she was too much of a liability and threw her out?
She tried to push the thought away. Though Raj seemed wary of her, he wasn't actively hostile, and Tasha had been kind. Surely they wouldn't just let Mal throw her out into the middle of the wasteland.
"Come on. I'll take you to her," Tasha said.
"Does your brother... Is Mal..." Dara stumbled, trying to figure out how to pose the question.
"He's obviously not happy you're here. If you hadn't noticed, I'd be a little worried about your powers of observation." Tasha surprised Dara with the humor in her voice. "But Mal is naturally suspicious, so this is nothing new."
"You mean he's not just like this with me?"
"No. Sorry if that makes you feel like you're not special anymore."
Dara felt her shoulders relax a little. "I guess I don't really blame him," she admitted. "For all he knows, I could run screaming to the Authorities the minute I leave here."
"It wouldn't matter if you did. We wouldn't be here," Tasha said bluntly.
Before Dara could truly satisfy her curiosity, they walked into a makeshift med center. It lacked the high tech equipment that had been all over her mother's med center, but Dara had to admit that she was impressed. Still, she was far more interested in the sight of an apparently healthy Letizia sitting up on a cot, eating some breakfast.
"You're all right," she said, rushing over to her master.
"Thanks to all of you," Letizia said with a weary smile. A small bandage covered the site of the wound and dried blood crusted her hair, but other than that, Letizia looked pretty much as she always did. Her face was a little pained and she showed some signs of strain around her eyes, but it wasn't anything unusual, given the circumstances.
"I was afraid—" Dara began, and Letizia looked at her with sympathetic eyes.
"I know," she said.
Tasha looked from one to the other of them and shrugged. "Maybe I should give you some privacy. I'll go get something for Dara to eat."
"Thanks, Tash," Letizia said. She waited until the girl left, then she sighed and looked Dara directly in the eye. "I guess you have a lot of questions."
"That's sort of an understatement."
"I think it goes without saying that I couldn't tell you about any of this."
"But how could you...get involved in all this? Why? You're so successful."
"Successful? Day in and day out, I go into that headquarters wondering if today will be the day. Will one of my coworkers catch me acting suspiciously? Will Andersen find something questionable in one of my messages? Will someone sabotage my work and take the credit for fixing it? I don't call that success—and neither should you."
Startled, Dara dropped down onto the cot next to Letizia. "I didn't know you felt that way."
"That's the point. No one is supposed to know." Sighing again, Letizia pushed the remains of her breakfast away and gestured at her now tattered suit. "This isn't me. This is just the disguise I put on every day, the disguise that reminds me to never let anyone know what I'm thinking or feeling, that I must always, always be worried about how I present myself.
"But when I'm here, all of that goes away. I can actually be Letizia, the real Letizia who exists under all these carefully controlled layers. Can you understand that, Dara?"
"I...I don't know," she admitted.
Rubbing her forehead with a frown, Letizia responded, "It's harder for you at this point. You just finished school. I've been doing this for seven years now, though, and I'm tired. I'm just so tired of it."
"Do you dislike your work?"
"No, I don't. I dislike that I can never let down my guard, that I can't be friendly with my coworkers because I'm never sure which one of them might exploit my vulnerabilities."
"It can't be that bad," Dara insisted. "I mean, sure, I know some people can be ruthless, but not everyone is like that."
"Does that matter? Think hard about it. What is the single most important thing in your life? In your father's life? In your mother's life?"
"Family," she said stoutly.
"So your dad stayed at your mom's bedside every day, and so did you, right?"
"How dare you!" Dara cried, springing from the cot and whirling to face Letizia. "We wanted to be there more than anything, but we both have to Contribute or we'll lose our positions. And if we lose our positions, we'll lose everything."
"Precisely," Letizia said, sounding immeasurably tired.
Dara's anger drained away. She felt chilled to the bone as the words sank in, as she realized the truth of them.
"Don't you think you should have been able to be there?" Letizia asked. "Don't you want to live in a world where your mother's accident is more important than your day's Contribution to Magnum's wealth?"
"So...so what, you're part of some sort of resistance or something?" Dara asked, unable to keep the aggression from her voice.
"No, Dara, not really. It's not like we're planning on storming the domes or something. We just—"
"We're just asking why we can't choose to contribute in other ways," said Mal. "We're just asking why there can't be some semblance of fairness."
Turning, Dara saw him studying her with a laser-like gaze. "You don't trust me, do you?" she asked, crossing her arms and jutting her chin.
"I don't trust any cog in the machine," he replied.
"We're all cogs, in case you haven't noticed," she shot back.
"Yes, we are. But do we have to be? I'll bet you've never stopped to think about that, have you?"
There was no response for that. She hadn't and he knew it. "Why did you warn me about Andersen?" she asked Letizia. "Is he some sort of a spy or something?"
"He likes to call himself a 'concerned citizen'. He says it's his duty to do his part to maintain the integrity of society."
"Which makes him worse than a spy," Mal said, his voice dripping with contempt.
"Why would he do it?" Dara asked.
"Andersen gets off on it. He likes the idea that he wields the power to destroy," Letizia said starkly.
"He's not the only one," Mal added.
"Not that everyone has the same motivation," Letizia qualified. "Some people inform as a means of trying to reassure themselves that their Creator will protect them because they've provided such a valuable service. Some do it to try to curry favor so that they can get a better position."
"That's...that's despicable," Dara said, her stomach turning.
"Yes, it is," Mal agreed. "But what's more despicable is that the system actively encourages this behavior. How many times have you been told you should report any suspicious activity?"
"We've always been told that it's for our own security," Dara protested.
"That's always what people say, when they're busy stripping away your rights. If you work everyone up into enough of a panic, they'll be glad to hand you things they'd normally never even think of giving up," Mal told her. "Don't believe me? I can give you plenty of books on the topic—books you've likely never seen in your life. Why do you think that is?"
"How am I just supposed to go back there?" Dara asked, despair overwhelming her. "I'm supposed to just walk back into that dome and greet Andersen like everything is normal? Like I don't know all of this?"
"It's what you have to do, for the good of your family," Letizia informed her. "It's what we all have to do."
"But I didn't think you had any family. Couldn't you just leave?" Dara asked.
"And leave people like you at the mercy of Andersen?"
"So we just go along with it?"
"For now," Mal said. "But not forever."
"Aren't you afraid I'll become one of those informants, that I'll report you to protect myself and my family?" Dara asked him.
"No. The Creators already know about us, but they're not going to admit it. Imagine the repercussions for them. Occasionally, they try to get rid of us, but we're good
at hiding.
"So you're no risk to us—but we are a risk to you. If you think the Creators are going to thank you for your Contribution, you're more naive than I'd suspected."
"I can't know that you exist. If I do, I might tell other people," Dara sighed, rubbing her temples. She could feel a headache coming on due to the sheer stress of her situation.
"Exactly. If you go in and report us, they'll fabricate some crime you've committed and they'll cast you out," Mal said. The flatness with which he spoke made his words seem even more sinister.
"Okay, fine. So I won't say anything. But don't assume I'm going to help you either. I've got a lot at stake," she said angrily.
"We know better than to assume anything," Mal said. "And remember this: there is much more at stake here than just your own personal comfort."
"Think about those people last night, Dara, the ones breaking into our transport," Letizia said quietly. "Ask yourself why they did it. And ask yourself if maybe they were once like you, living in blissful oblivion, convinced that the Creators would always watch out for them."
"You have two choices," Mal told her. "You can go back to your old life and forget that we exist. You can go about your business, do what they tell you to do, live under their radar. In other words, you can continue to be the ideal drone. Or you can help us."
Chapter 24
Fortunately for Dara, Tasha entered the room, sparing her the necessity of answering. "Mal, there's a runner here who needs to see you."
"Thanks, Tash," he said, looking at Dara for a few more seconds before turning and hurrying out of the room.
"Tash, would you mind getting our things ready for us?" Letizia asked, as Tasha set a breakfast tray down. Dara could tell Letizia was trying to get rid of Tasha so they could speak privately.
"Sure thing. I'll have them in the common room, but you should get going soon, while the weather is still clear."
"Thanks. We'll get a move on," Letizia assured her. Tasha gave Dara a brief smile before leaving.
"So, that's it? That's all Mal is going to say to me?" Dara asked, amazed.
"He's not going to beg you or try to reason with you. He wants you to make your own choice."
"Was it the same for you?"
"Of course. And it was the same for Raj as well—and the others."
"There are others?"
"Yes, many others, from all walks of society. It's how Mal knows that the Creators are aware of our existence. "
"Are you spying on Andersen?"
"I prefer to see it as keeping an eye on him, so that we know his intentions."
"And what do you do with that information?"
"We try to act on it, to the best of our abilities. We try to get to his victims before the Authorities can, but we're not always successful." Her eyes looked troubled.
"What now?" Dara asked, not really sure what she meant by the question.
Letizia seemed to sense her confusion. She studied Dara for a moment. "You need time to process all of this. If you never want to speak of it again, then we won't. However, if you change your mind, you can always come to me.
"For now, though, we do need to hurry. We don't want to be caught out in another storm."
"No," Dara agreed. She picked up her tray and picked at the food, but she was too distracted to eat. Her head spun, making her feel vaguely dizzy and nauseated. How could she just go back to her old life like nothing had changed? Then she thought of her parents, and she knew she would simply have to try to figure something out.
"Mal told me that a retrieval team was sent to look for our transport, but by the time they arrived it had been stripped clean."
"How does he know the retrieval team arrived?"
"There's no time to go into detail, and it's not something you need to know at the moment anyway," Letizia said, holding up a hand as Dara opened her mouth to protest. "Suffice it to say that this will work to our advantage."
"What do you mean?" Dara asked, confused.
"Mal, Raj, and I talked, and we decided that it would be best to tell a story of simple heroism: our transport crashed, we heard people outside, and you guided me to shelter, where you treated my wounds. Raj deliberately used only materials from the emergency kit. After huddling in the shelter all night, you and I made our way back toward the Zhang dome."
"Wait, you want to tell everyone that I'm some sort of hero?" Dara recoiled.
"You are," Letizia said softly, placing a hand on Dara's shoulder. "If you hadn't pulled me out of that transport, I'd probably be dead. I may have hit my head, but I haven't forgotten that you refused to leave me behind."
"I...I'm just not sure I'm comfortable with that." Dara squirmed as she thought of the attention she was sure to receive. "And what if no one believes us?"
"They will. I know for a fact that neither of us has registered on anyone's radar—Mal would have that information if we had. When you couple that with my injury and the stripped transport, the story is believable."
"All right," Dara agreed, resigned. "But how are we supposed to make it to the Zhang dome? Didn't Mal say there are gangs out there?"
"Yes, but he sent out scouts. The area is clear for now."
So many questions swirled through Dara's head that it began to pound. Letizia fidgeted impatiently, and Dara felt her anxiety about her parents and Jonathan mounting. There seemed nothing for it but to go along with the plan and hope for the best.
Shoving her uneaten breakfast aside, Dara said, "Let's go." Letizia looked relieved.
They went into the common room and found Tasha tucking the last of the remaining emergency kit supplies into Dara's bag. She looked up at them and frowned.
"Letizia, there's only one water bottle left and what if—" Tasha began, but Letizia interrupted her.
"I appreciate your concern, Tash, but you know we can't afford to take anything else with us. It would look too suspicious."
Tasha sighed, the corners of her mouth turning down. "You had twelve emergency ration packs in there. I took two of them. You should eat another two so you know what they taste like."
"What a waste. I'd rather leave them here," Letizia said regretfully. "But you're right."
"Hey, we have two more packs than we did last night, obtained ever so painlessly." Tasha winked and Letizia smiled.
"Yeah, well, next time you can do the obtaining," she told Tasha.
"I guess I'd better give this back to you," Dara said awkwardly, shrugging out of the sweater Tasha had lent her.
"Before you go out there, wrap the blankets around you and then stuff them in the bag. It's obvious they haven't been used," Tasha instructed. She handed each of them a blanket and they did as she suggested.
"Anything else?" Letizia asked.
"That should cover it. Let's go."
Tasha led them through a couple of twisting corridors and to a door. There weren't any stairs before this one, so Dara knew they were at a different entrance, hopefully one relatively close to the Zhang dome. The thought of making her way on foot across the wasteland made Dara shudder.
"Be careful," Tasha said, studying Letizia with a concerned expression.
"You too," Letizia replied, hugging her.
"Um, thanks," Dara said lamely, as Tasha turned to her.
"I hope you find your way," Tasha said, and Dara wasn't sure if the girl spoke literally or figuratively.
Despite the heavy haze, the light was brighter than it had been underground, and Dara blinked rapidly as she emerged into the wasteland. Tasha closed the door with a dull thud. The ruins of a building surrounded them, and Dara gazed at the skeletal structure.
"Why doesn't anyone try to take shelter down there?" Dara asked.
Letizia gestured to a small symbol scratched into the door. "This means the building is occupied by Free Thinkers. Nomads know it means they can find temporary shelter, but the renegade bands avoid the symbols."
"Why?"
"They know the Free Thinkers have weapons."
/> Dara didn't really want to think too deeply about this. "How far to the Zhang dome?" She could just make it out in the distance, its outline vague and difficult to see through the haze. It was impossible to determine by sight just how far away the dome stood. Between its sheer size and the wavering nature of the haze, her perspective was completely skewed.
"Almost four miles," Letizia told her.
"Four miles! But your head!"
"It's going to be a long walk," Letizia answered, through gritted teeth.
Neither of them spoke much as they walked. The thick, gritty haze coated Dara's throat and made tears flow from her irritated eyes. Though Letizia didn't complain, Dara could hear her small grunts as they picked their way across the rugged terrain, and by the time they had made it maybe halfway, blood had once again begun to flow from Letizia's wound.
They paused and Dara handed the water to Letizia, who took the tiniest of sips before handing it back. "Can't. Too sick," she said.
Dara tried to conceal her concern. "What about the rations? Tasha said we should eat two more of them."
"Give me a bite of yours. Then you eat the rest."
"You managed one last night while we rested, but were too sick to eat one today," Dara said. Letizia nodded, and Dara unwrapped a ration.
As Letizia took a small nibble, Dara drank a little of the water. The sensation of it washing away the dryness in her throat was intense, once again driving home the realization that she'd never known sheer physical deprivation. Letizia handed the ration over, her shoulders heaving as she gagged. Dara downed it in a couple of bites, finding it dry and rather flavorless, but it did fill her belly.
"Let's go," Letizia said.
Letizia made it for about another mile before she had to lean against Dara. By the time they arrived at the Zhang transport bay, Dara was all but dragging her master. They were both covered in sweat and grime, their clothing and shoes tattered, and Dara was quite sure they looked exactly as if they'd spent the night in the wasteland.
Exhausted, she allowed the Zhang personnel to take over, barely registering the commotion their arrival had caused. Zhang Contributors whisked them off to a med center, doctors and technicians swirling around them, and Dara gave up fighting to stay awake.
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