“Um…no. What you’re doing is fine.” My poke became a caress. I could feel the ridges of his defined abdominals through his shirt and had to admit I was becoming increasingly sidetracked the more I touched him. My hand started to wander lower.
“Don’t. That’s too distracting.” He plucked my hand away, lacing my fingers through his. “Tell me what happened.”
“Oh, right. There was a man at the club. Lotus said he was watching me the whole night, but I didn’t see him until afterward, once I was outside in the back alley.”
“Did he hurt you?”
His voice had gone flat and I knew him well enough to know he was fighting for calm. He was trying to be the caring boyfriend I wanted, not the ruthless Consortium leader who crushed his enemies.
“No, nothing like that. He said he’d wanted to meet me for a while, but you’d been hiding me. He talked about my mother’s family and how they wanted to know me but Monique wouldn’t allow it. He mentioned a grandmother and how she wanted to meet me too, but couldn’t travel to Mars. I had the Euphoria crash right after that.”
I felt Alexei tense and I looked up at him. Beneath his stubble, I saw a muscle twitch in his jaw. “Stay away from him. He’s dangerous.”
“Why do you sound like you already know him?”
“Because I do.” His tone was frightening. “He’s Monique’s father, Felipe Vieira.”
I sat up, my gut doing this terrible thing where it kicked me so hard, I thought I might throw up.
“I hope that isn’t the Felipe Vieira I think you’re referring to.”
His eyes met mine. “Unfortunately, it is.”
“The Under-Secretary of One Gov? How is that even possible? He’s second only to Secretary Arkell, but everybody knows Vieira’s the real power running things. He’s…” I swore and felt a wave of disbelief. “You can’t be serious. He can’t be my grandfather.”
“I assure you, he is.”
I pulled away so I could face him head-on. “Felipe Vieira. Gods, was I named after him too? Was it some warped tribute on Monique’s part? How long have you known? No, that’s a dumb question. You’ve probably always known.”
His expression was inscrutable, telling me everything I needed.
“Why didn’t you say something? The file you gave me said my mother’s family was connected with One Gov, but it never referenced anything like this! I never imagined I’d be related to the power running the damned tri-system! Don’t you think this is something you should have told me?”
“At the time, my own plans were in motion and I couldn’t let you jeopardize them. I knew it would either scare you away from me or you would do something reckless, such as confront Vieira.”
“That was pretty damn selfish of you,” I ground out.
“Perhaps, but I also wanted to protect you. Now, that’s all I want. I don’t want anything drawing his attention to you because I honestly don’t know what he might do.”
“But you still should have told me!”
He shrugged. “And I thought it best to keep it to myself rather than worry you. You’ve already been through enough at One Gov’s hands.”
I guess I could see his logic, as twisted as it might be, but it didn’t make me any happier. Did he think he had to shield me from everything? “Looks like it doesn’t matter anymore. He already knows. Why is he here on Mars? What if he knows about Brazil and what happened with Monique? Or if he knows about the clones?”
“Felicia, calm down. You’re going to make yourself sick,” he said, grasping my shoulders and holding me still when it seemed like all I wanted to do was hurl myself out of the moving flight-limo—which even I agreed would have been incredibly stupid.
“But what does he want? Do you think he knows about the luck gene? What if he’s here to exploit it? Or what if he just wants good old-fashioned revenge?”
Alexei ran his hands up and down my arms. “I know he arrived a few weeks ago but his visit to Mars has been very low profile. It barely made the CN-news feed. The Consortium has always had eyes on him, just as he has eyes on us. I suspected he might make a move in your direction, but until he approached you, I couldn’t be sure. As for what he wants, I’ll find out. It would be difficult, but if I have to, I’ll access his memory blocks. One Gov’s queenmind is challenging to snipe for someone at Vieira’s security level, but I’ll make the attempt regardless of how many avatar aliases I burn through.”
I bit my lip. “But won’t you get caught?”
“Maybe. Maybe not. There are other things I can try first. He may have let something slip to one of his aides. Them, I can snipe. In the meantime, stay away from him. I’m serious, Felicia. Even if you think he wants something harmless, he will draw you in until it’s a trap you can’t escape. The man is known for his ruthlessness. He wouldn’t be where he is today if the case were otherwise.”
I met his gaze and tapped him lightly on the chest. “Sounds like someone else I know.”
“The difference is, I’m in love with you. Not the same at all.” He grinned slightly before sobering. “You said you felt unsettled. Could Vieira be the cause?”
“Are you saying you think my luck gene wanted me to meet him?”
He shrugged. “I’ve no idea. How you do whatever it is you do is beyond my ability to process.”
“Gods, my family is a write-off on both sides! Why would I even entertain the idea of us having a baby with all this hanging over me?”
As soon as I said the words, I wished time travel actually existed so I could go back and shoot myself. Alexei had gone so still, it was like he wasn’t even there anymore. Suddenly the space on the seat between us felt wide enough to swallow the universe.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to say that,” I mumbled, looking out the window, examining the scenery as we flew by it. “Ignore me.”
“Do you want a baby?” he asked softly. “Is it something you’ve been thinking about?”
“I was just talking rhetorically.” I concentrated on the view outside the window, looking at the trees and rolling hills. We’d come a long way since the first humans walked on Mars. Not so long ago, this was nothing more than dirt under a red sky. No water. No air. Totally barren.
“Felicia, look at me.”
“I’m not sure I can right now. I feel a bit stupid. We haven’t even been together that long.”
“Five and a half months,” he said. No doubt he could tell me the time right down to the second if I asked.
“See, not long. This isn’t even a subject worth discussing. Forget I mentioned it,” I said, playing with the hem of my dress and smoothing the chiffon material with its lilac flora pattern.
For long moments, the only sound was the hum of the flight-limo’s engine. Panic flared and I felt sick. I was giving an offhand comment too much significance when it shouldn’t have any. I should just pretend it hadn’t happen and move on. Yes, moving on. Perfect. I should really get back to looking at my shims anyway.
“Before the Dark Times, the vory v zakone didn’t have children or long-term relationships. I never really understood the reasoning behind it,” Alexei said finally, because I was still sitting there rigid in my seat like a fool instead of trying to make the moment go away. “For the first time, I understand why we had such rules.”
“I’m not exactly sure what you’re trying to tell me,” I said, because really, that was not a promising way to start a conversation about kids and marriage. “Maybe you should start over, but with less negativity.”
“It wouldn’t be safe for us to have a child. I have too many enemies and they would see our child as a tool to use against me. I’d worry I wouldn’t be able to protect both it and you. We’d live in constant fear that something might happen. I already live with that fear and I don’t want you to know how that feels.”
“What are you afraid of?” I asked, not really sure I was getting it.
“I haven’t hidden how important you are to me. People see us together and think you ma
ke me vulnerable, and if they can get to you, they’ll hurt me. And they’re right. If something happened to you, I’m not sure what I’d do, so I do what I can to keep you safe. A baby would make it that much worse.”
All this was news to me and I was completely blown away by his revelation. “Have people tried to hurt me?”
He sighed. “It’s not anything you need to worry about.”
“I guess that’s a yes then.”
“There have been attempts, but nothing you need to concern yourself with.”
“If something’s going on, you have to tell me. I can’t live in a bubble where you try to protect me from everything.”
“So far, I’ve done a fairly respectable job.”
“Until the other night when I got ambushed by the Under-Secretary of One Gov in a back alley, you mean.”
“Yes, until then,” he conceded, looking angry. “I just think it best not to bring a child into that. It isn’t the right time.”
I nodded, dazed, because it awed me that he’d even thought about it at all. At the same time, I couldn’t help but wonder if that meant there might never be a right time, and said so.
“Yes, there will, but you said it yourself—we haven’t been together long. Let’s enjoy this time now before we rush to the next stage. I know a child is important to you and I’m not downplaying that, just…I intend for us to last and I want us to take our time.”
“Okay,” I said, letting him pull me back into his arms. “When you put it like that, you’re right. It’s not like I’m blacklisted anymore. I can have a baby when we’re ready.”
“Exactly,” he said, kissing my exposed throat and running his hand along my stomach, fingers caressing idly.
“Besides, we need to figure out all the other shit first, like why Felipe Vieira wants to see me.”
“We will,” he agreed, using his nose to nudge aside the silk scarf I’d slung around my neck. Once he bared my skin, he added his tongue to the kisses along my throat. The caressing fingers crept lower and raised my dress hemline until one finger found its way into my panties to make me squirm against him. “We’ll just do it later.”
“Later is fine,” I agreed, giving myself up to his hands and lips until I was sprawled exactly how he wanted me. “Later is perfect.”
We reached the resort by midafternoon. Apollinaris Mons loomed in the distance, seeming to overshadow the entire town. The mountain was actually an ancient shield volcano from the early sols of Mars. While it was tall, it was nothing compared to Olympus Mons, which lured extreme sports junkies like flies to shit, enticing many to their deaths. Apollinaris Mons was the perfect height to challenge skiers but not outright terrify them. And with its base being almost two hundred miles in diameter, that meant there was plenty of variety for everyone once you ascended to the correct elevation. The area also boasted a fabulous hot springs, discovered when the terraforming was finished. Plus, with it being close to the equator, the weather was perfect all year round.
The flight-limo set down and I got out to stretch my legs. Immediately I found myself flanked by chain-breakers. Alexei got out behind me, handing me the sunshades I’d forgotten on the seat.
“Is it going to be like this the whole time?” I asked, gesturing to the chain-breakers.
He threw an arm around my shoulders, kissed the top of my head, and pulled me after him. “Only until we’re inside. Come on.”
Construction on Mars wasn’t like it had been on Earth. After all, the terraformers hadn’t seeded Mars with rain forests and vegetation just so future generations could cut them down. Almost everything on Mars was built from synthetic material created by recombining raw asteroid resources, pressurized gases and fuels from Jupiter, rocky material from Mars, and rejigging a few molecules. So while it wasn’t technically wood, synthetic wood was close enough that no one could tell the difference. Fewer still cared. As we strolled along the pathway of large stone slabs to the resort’s reception center, I knew that what looked like an exotic retreat made up of palm leaves and bamboo really wasn’t.
Around the buildings were thick green foliage and bright exotic flowers, all things once native to Earth and re-created on a new world. It made the resort look wild and untamed, like we trekked through some lush jungle and were about to go on safari. Overlooking it all was snow-covered Apollinaris Mons, piercing the brilliant blue sky overhead. I had to stop for a minute, overwhelmed. My chest felt tight. I rubbed a hand against it as if that might loosen the knot.
“What’s wrong?” Alexei asked, noticing my hesitation.
“This feels like I’m back in Kenya again. It reminds me of home,” I whispered, looking up at him.
“I know it does,” he said, grazing his knuckles along my cheek. “Why do you think I bought the resort?”
He bought a resort because he thought I might be homesick? What could I possibly say to that? I hugged him fiercely. “Thank you.”
He grinned and took my hand, pulling me after him. “You’re welcome. I’ll let you thank me properly later.”
“Why does it sound so dirty when you say it like that?”
“Because it’s meant to be. The sooner we’re in our room, the sooner you can start thanking me.”
I laughed, suddenly excited. Our hands swung between us and I knew we were grinning at each other like idiots. It hadn’t really been just us since we’d arrived on Mars, and I wanted more times like this—time where we could enjoy ourselves and not be consumed by other, pointless things that wasted our energy.
Inside looked exactly as I imagined. I took in the bamboo and stone walls set with large floor-to-ceiling windows that let you view the majesty of Apollinaris Mons. The ceiling beams were overlaid with more palms and the floor was worn-looking stone. The walls were decorated with shields, spears, and enormous wildlife paintings showcasing the big African five: lion, elephant, Cape buffalo, leopard, and rhinoceros. Though they were long extinct, their holos mesmerized me. Also intriguing were the huge orchids kept in protective glass domes throughout the lobby, their colors so bright, I wondered if they were real. Lastly, in the center of it all was an enormous baobab tree that grew right through the roof, as if the resort had been built around it.
I pulled my attention back to Alexei. We stood at the concierge’s desk and he spoke in Russian to a handful of men—Consortium members dressed in expensive suits and all young thanks to the Renew treatments. Though I could make out only about every fourth or fifth word, he sounded downright pissed.
I gave Alexei a resigned look. “Guess there’s been a change in plans?”
“Unfortunately,” he said, annoyed. “Apparently word has spread about Under-Secretary Vieira’s presence on Mars. I need to hold hands and calm fears.”
I sighed. So I’d be alone tonight. I fought to wrestle up a smile. “That’s okay. Do what you need to do. I’ll just order room service, have a bath, and go to bed. I’m pretty tired anyway.”
“Do you even know what you’re doing to me? Now you have me imagining you naked in bed, waiting for me,” he whispered so only I could hear. “I could fuck you right here and no one would raise a hand to stop me. Is that what you want?”
When Alexei turned on the dirty talk, I was a goner. I let out a shuddering breath, leaning into him, rubbing my palms over his chest. “Only if you want them seeing me naked too, and we both know how terrible you are at sharing.”
“Touché.” He chuckled softly and kissed me, using the gentle kiss that always left me breathless. Then he said something to the chain-breakers, who nodded and gathered up our luggage, most of it mine naturally. “They’ll take you to our room and see you settled. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
“I’ll be waiting.”
I grinned up at him. Why had I been so afraid to commit to him? I couldn’t remember my reasoning now. He was everything, and the only thing, I wanted.
And that’s when I felt it. That horrible, awful, terrible kick in the gut that made me step back from him as if I�
�d been burned. One hand flew to my mouth on an intake of breath, the other to my stomach to press against the phantom ache. It was so powerful, I actually winced under the burden of so much—gods, portent was the only word for it—weighing down on me. All these weeks of unsettled feelings and vague warnings coalesced into one big tremor that rocked and reset my world.
“Felicia, what’s wrong?”
Alexei. He tried to brush his fingers along my cheek. I pulled away farther, turning, not wanting him to touch me. Nothing was clear to me in that moment, not even my own feelings.
A man approached, casually dressed as if he’d just finished a round of golf—which on Mars could yield some impressive results. Tall. Broad-shouldered. Nicely muscled. Brown hair short on the sides and a little longer on top, full of golden highlights only a certain type of brown could get. Green eyes lighter than my own.
“Alexei,” the man called as he crossed the lobby to us. “I thought it would be easier for us to meet here away from prying eyes rather than in the city. I should have realized you wouldn’t be alone. I apologize.”
His voice faded when he saw me. I wanted to back away but couldn’t—not with Alexei behind me. Hell, I wanted to run from the lobby and pretend this moment had never happened. Instead I stood rooted to the spot, my eyes widening.
“Hello, Felicia,” the man said, gazing down at me. “I have to say I never thought you’d make it to Mars, or that I’d see you again. It’s nice to realize I was wrong on both accounts.”
“Hi,” I said, because I couldn’t just stand there and not say something. “Yeah, I guess you were. Good thing we didn’t bet on it.”
“It’s a bet I wouldn’t have minded losing. Funny how things work out sometimes,” he said, before shifting his gaze to Alexei then back to me.
It was too bad we weren’t all born with an instruction manual for life warning us of impending danger, I decided. Then I remembered mine did in the form of the luck gene, and that still didn’t make things easier, because there standing in front of me was Brody Williams. The last time I’d seen him was four years ago when he’d asked me to go to Mars with him and I said no. He then gave me a deck of Tarot cards as a gift, told me to think of him whenever I used them, and disappeared from my life forever. Oh, and we’d also both been naked too since it was the last time we’d slept together before he left for good.
The Chaos of Luck Page 8