And with that, Mannette Bleu left my shop as abruptly as she’d appeared in it. Wow. If I wasn’t the one embroiled in her latest manufactured drama, I’d be waiting breathlessly to see what happened next.
Brody looked at me like I’d made a deal with the devil. “Is she always like that?”
I shrugged. “You get used to how she does things when you’re around her long enough. She was supposed to be my planet-side contact when I got to Mars. Instead, she got me arrested. To this day, I’m still not sure if she legitimately forgot about my arrival or if she hung me out to dry for ratings.”
“Sounds like she’s a better enemy than a friend,” Brody observed.
“Maybe, but I can count on her knowing when to keep something to herself, especially if it works to her benefit.”
“It’s still early,” Lotus said darkly. She popped a strawberry in her mouth before going back to filing her nails. “I have a gut feeling anything could happen.”
Great. If Lotus was getting gut feelings on my behalf, the universe had it in for me indeed.
It felt even more the case when it looked like the basket of strawberries was empty. I had a stupid surge of disappointment. Brody had brought them for me and I didn’t even get one. It must have shown on my face because Brody reached inside and held up a berry.
“Last one,” he said, looking at me. “Want it?”
I sighed, knowing I’d been caught. “You know I do,” I said, plucking it from his fingers.
I bit into it, hit immediately by its sweetness. And it was fresh too, as if it had just been picked. Without caring how many calorie consumption points I may have wasted, I ate everything but the stem. It had been so juicy, I had to lick the stickiness from my fingers. When I looked up again, Brody was watching me, mesmerized, making me self-conscious and all too aware of him beside me.
It was even worse when he said, “You have some juice on your…No, let me get it.”
And before I knew what either of us was really doing, he wiped his thumb over the corner of my mouth, brushing away whatever bits of strawberry he found. The hand lingered, moving slowly from my mouth to my cheek, and all I could do was stand there and let it happen.
“Thanks,” I said, blushing and unable to do a thing to stop it.
He grinned. “My pleasure.”
Lotus looked at me like she’d never seen me before and couldn’t believe what she’d witnessed. That, more than anything, made me realize I’d temporarily lost my mind. I needed to back away from Brody and whatever was happening between us.
“Don’t you have an appointment you need to get to?” she asked.
“Yes, right,” I said, maybe a little too brusquely. “I’ll see you later. Brody, let’s go. My grandfather’s waiting.”
And before I could drown in guilt as the ocean of feelings I’d once carried for Brody started trickling in—ones I’d forced myself to shut off because going to Mars with him back then was out of the question—I turned on my heel and stepped outside into the warm Martian-afternoon sunshine.
Chapter Twelve
Garden Variety was the only shop in the whole district where I could happily spend my time doing nothing but people-watch while I sipped my coffee. They served coffee varieties from all over Mars, under a huge glass solarium filled with exotic plants from Earth. What I loved most was the fountain in the middle and the tiny little wrought-iron tables and chairs spread out around it. It was what I imagined the Old World of Earth had looked like before it disappeared under the rising waters after the polar ice caps melted centuries ago.
I sat at a table, an untouched latte in front of me. I’d selected a spot away from the rest, surrounded by colorful orchids and ferns. Giving my chain-breaker security the slip had proved impossible, but at least I’d gotten them to wait outside rather than follow me into the shop. I trusted Vieira to have a way to work around them as he had in Apolli. Otherwise, the meeting might be over before it started. Brody had offered to sit with me, but once we’d actually reached the coffee shop, I found I wanted to be alone with Vieira. This was about me. My family. My history. My decision. I wanted to hear what Vieira said before anyone else could jump in with their opinions or try to influence me.
I didn’t wait long. One minute, I tapped my nails anxiously on the tabletop, staring into the fountain. The next, Vieira stood a few feet away. He was alone, which surprised me. I expected he might have bodyguards. Maybe he did for all I knew.
He took the empty chair across from me. In the filtered sunlight coming through the glass overhead, I noticed his eyes weren’t blue as I’d originally thought. They were green, like mine. For a long time, we just looked at each other. Then I had to look down into my mug because I wasn’t sure what to do next, and noticed the heart design on my latte had disappeared. I found that upsetting. Finally I sighed. I was better than this, damn it.
“Thank you for agreeing to see me,” he said quietly.
“It was hard not to, considering how you’ve been chasing me all over Mars the past few sols.”
He laughed at that, and despite the rumors I’d heard about him, I found his laugh charming. No wonder the man had three mistresses on the go.
“I can be persistent. I’m told it’s one of my best traits. Quite useful in getting things done.”
“And in no way creepy.”
“You’re a difficult woman to pin down.”
“I assume you got around the security detail Alexei has watching me whenever I leave the house?”
He shrugged modestly. “I’ve played this game for nearly sixty years. Petriv made things challenging, but not impossible. Unfortunately, I had to resort to sordid when I would have preferred straightforward. I apologize, but I was uncertain how to reach you otherwise.”
“You make it sound like he’s holding me prisoner.”
“No, nothing like that. He merely wants the things he cares about to be left undisturbed. You are his sanctuary from the rest of the world, so he goes to great lengths to protect you. Believe me, I understand that better than most. However, you are my granddaughter, and after all this time, I thought it only fair that I be allowed to see you.”
“Well, here I am. Not sure if I’m what you expected, but this is me. Sorry if you’re disappointed.”
He smiled kindly. “I’m not. I really do wish your grandmother could be here, but we couldn’t both be off-world. One Gov doesn’t run itself.”
“But Secretary Arkell’s the one in charge. He makes the final decisions, right?” I asked before realizing I didn’t honestly know how One Gov conducted business. I just knew it was a huge bureaucracy that monitored and regulated all aspects of society from birth until death, and everything in between. It told us how to live our lives, what sort of employment we could have, whether we could have children, and if so, how many. We had to report in via the CN-net how much we exercised, what we ate and how much per our calorie consumption allotment. One Gov even decided on our physical appearance for the most part—all to ensure a healthy, happy citizenship that would be the greatest society in the history of the human race. However, as for how all those controls worked and what went on behind the scenes, I was as in the dark as the rest of the tri-system.
“Yes, I suppose nominally he does. But I’ve been through six such Secretaries and sometimes all the hand-holding and information channeling become exhausting,” he said. “Perhaps it explains how the Consortium gained the foothold it did. However, that’s not something I want to talk about with you.”
“But you will eventually,” I pressed, eyes narrowing. “If I’m just a means to getting information on the Consortium, I’m leaving.”
“No, Felicia. Never. I suppose it’s impossible for it not to seem like that, but…” He looked at me, his expression troubled. “Your grandmother and I never thought things would turn out as they did. We were so careful with Monique, giving her the best of everything. She was smart, ambitious, and beautiful. We were so proud. But somehow, it all went wrong. She ha
d this idea that she needed to prove herself on her own or it didn’t matter. Perhaps I encouraged that independence, demanding perfection and success above everything. That’s why she changed her name to Vallaincourt—so it wouldn’t be associated with me or anything One Gov. Her successes would be on her own merit and no one could say she traded on her family’s power and reputation.
“She’d no sooner finished her education than she disappeared. We discovered she’d gotten married and had a child, and she wouldn’t let us be part of that. You can’t imagine what it’s like to have your own child run from you and not want you to be part of her life. We didn’t know what we’d done wrong or how we’d driven her away. All we wanted was for her to succeed, yet everything we did was somehow wrong. We took whatever scraps she would give us. The irony turns my stomach sometimes. I control the lives on three planets, but couldn’t control my own daughter.”
“And did you know what was going on?” I asked harshly, leaning forward, daring him to take her side. “Did you know what she was doing and how she used me?”
“I knew,” he admitted, looking upset. “She needed One Gov’s permission to conduct her research, and I gave it to her. It was the only way she would let us see her. And even then, she wouldn’t let your grandmother or myself visit with you. She said we would contaminate the sample, though we didn’t truly understand what she meant. It wasn’t until after her death we realized the full extent of what she’d done. We were horrified. She was a genius, even as a child. We were so proud of her, and we thought she would perform miracles someday. We had no idea that she’d made full-body clones of you and experimented on those clones. If we had, we never would have allowed it.”
“I was just an experiment to her and she would have killed me in the end. You know that, right?” I railed, just in case he wasn’t clear on that detail. “Your crazy daughter would have murdered me if I’d gotten in her way. If it wasn’t for Alexei, she would have made my life a living hell.”
Vieira looked stricken. “You have no idea how much we regret what our inaction caused you. It was only later that we became aware of her psychopathic tendencies. Perhaps our geneticists aren’t as careful at screening as we’d thought. You can’t imagine how it tore our family apart once we learned the truth.”
“And you know how it ended and what happened?” I pressed, because even though I was angry, I was scared too. How much did he know?
“We have…accounts and been able to reconstruct what happened. We don’t blame you, if that’s what you think. I’m not here for vengeance. We just wish things had gone differently. If it’s anyone’s fault, perhaps it’s mine for pushing her to be the best. Then we wouldn’t have lost you in the process.”
I couldn’t decide if I wanted to cry because I could see how much regret he harbored, or be pissed because it was too little, too late. “Don’t feel like you need to beat yourself up. My life wasn’t so bad.”
“Perhaps not, but it could have been so much more. We could have given you everything.”
His words so echoed what Alexei had said earlier, I couldn’t help but shiver. Vieira truly believed he could give me the world, which made me wonder what more could I want that I didn’t already have.
He fell silent then, as if he’d said more than he intended and needed a moment to recover. I looked down at my mug because his eyes were overly bright and it didn’t seem fair to watch his struggle. I sipped my latte, then put it down since it was cold.
Finally he asked, “Did you ever wonder about us? Who we were or why we weren’t there?”
“I know this sounds awful, but I assumed you were dead. I didn’t really think about you. I’m sorry.”
“That was never how it was supposed to be. We always wanted you in our lives. Maybe things might have been different if Monique hadn’t…It doesn’t matter now. It’s the past. We want something different for our future, and we’re hoping you could be part of it.”
Uh-oh. And here came the pitch. “I’m not really sure what that means.”
“We’d like to have a relationship with you, if you’ll let us. We’d hoped we could give you the family you didn’t have; well, I suppose I mean the other side of your heritage, since I’m aware you have more than enough family on your father’s side. I’m afraid you might find us terribly disappointing. On Earth, there are just three of us—your grandmother, myself, and my mother. Tanith’s parents live on Luna Prime, so it’s rare we see them. My father has passed but my mother still roams the family estate in Brasília, terrorizing the servants—truly a force of nature. If you have a temper, you get it from her.”
“I don’t think I have a temper,” I said, just to have something to say when he looked at me expectantly. “At least, I don’t think so, but maybe other people feel differently. I do seem to be surrounded by drama on a regular basis.” Kind of like this situation now, I added to myself.
“I know this may seem overwhelming, but I want you to know how serious we are. We want you in our lives, and for you to feel like you’re part of something more. Your grandmother very much wanted to be here, but as I said, Arkell can’t be left on his own. Tanith is very good at keeping him in line, most of the time. Perhaps someday you’ll come to Earth and meet her in person. I know she would love to see who you’ve become.”
Go back to Earth? Was he serious? This had to be the most bizarre, surreal conversation I’d ever had in my life. And yet at the same time, as weird as it might be, I could see he was sincere. He was also lonely.
“We wouldn’t get in the way of your relationship with Petriv,” he rushed on. “I know it might be awkward at first, given who he is. We have no wish for him to view us as a threat to him or anything involving the Consortium. Perhaps in time, he and I could come to some sort of terms with regards to balancing our personal and public lives for you, if that would make you feel more comfortable. And if you were to have a child, if it wouldn’t be too much to ask, perhaps we could have a relationship with him, or her. We would love to be a part of that future.”
Gods, a child? A child I didn’t even have a father lined up for yet, and there he was, already making playdates?
“You do realize I was blacklisted from the Shared Hope program for most of my life.”
“Yes, and that’s been corrected. You have a standing appointment for both you and whomever you choose as the father-elect to have your fertility inhibitors removed at any fertility clinic in the tri-system. Although if Petriv is your choice, he’ll have his own methods of working around the Shared Hope program restrictions.”
“I…You’ve given me a lot to think about,” I said because it seemed like I had to keep talking or I’d shatter the illusion this was a normal conversation. Going back to Earth, a great-grandchild, getting along with Alexei like one happy family and the past hadn’t happened…Did he have any idea how impossible it all sounded?
“I can see I’ve overwhelmed you. I knew better than to lay everything out in such a manner but I was uncertain I’d have another opportunity. Just tell me you won’t dismiss what I’ve said out of hand. At least consider what your life could be like before you decide. That’s all I ask.”
He reached out to take my hand. I jerked away, my movements sending my mug flying to the ground, where it smashed on the cobblestones. I stood up quickly, my chair legs scraping roughly on the cobblestones. I felt like maybe if I moved fast enough, I could get away from this moment and forget it had happened. I’d always thought I faced everything head-on, but after last night with Alexei and now this…This was too much.
As if I’d conjured him up, Brody appeared. He caught my hand and pulled me into his chest. “I believe this conversation is over. Felicia has heard everything she needs to hear,” he said, his arm around my shoulders.
“Felicia, please. Just tell me you’ll think about what I’ve said,” Vieira begged, rising from his seat. “Promise at least that much.”
“Ignore him,” Brody murmured, a hand now rubbing my back. “We’re l
eaving.”
For a moment, I considered letting Brody whisk me away. The expression on Vieira’s face stopped me. The supposedly most dangerous man in the tri-system looked like I was about to stomp all over his heart. He wasn’t angry or didn’t seem like he’d burst into a tirade of fury. He just appeared defeated and hopeless. How could I leave him like that? I couldn’t.
Stepping away from Brody, I hugged the Under-Secretary of One Gov, who also happened to be my grandfather. He smelled like some kind of sweet spice and his jacket was scratchy under my cheek. It was a quick, almost blink-and-you-miss-it moment, but at least I’d done it. He certainly hadn’t expected it at any rate, because his arms were motionless at his sides, only moving to catch me after I’d already gone.
“It was nice to meet you. I promise I’ll think about what you said.”
Just as hurriedly, I brushed past Brody and the other coffee shop patrons, until I was out on the street. I took huge, gasping breaths of air, finally feeling like I had space and everything wasn’t crowding around me. I hugged myself, as if I could stop my heart from beating like it wanted to get out from behind my ribs. Was this what a panic attack felt like? Was that what was happening to me?
“Felicia?” I heard Brody somewhere nearby, asking questions that seemed to have impossible answers.
I said the only thing that made sense to me. “I want to go home.”
Disregarding my chain-breaker security and the waiting flight-limo, Brody hailed an air-hack. One arrived in seconds. It spoke to my state of mind that I didn’t think to question him. I just climbed in, making room for Brody when he slid in next to me and slammed the door. The air-hack smelled like body odor and leather, the cushioned seat was lumpy, and the floor stained from countless shoes. It was nowhere near as smooth as a flight-limo and it darted into the stream of low street traffic with a jerk that made my stomach roil. When the auto-drone asked for address input, Brody told it to just drive, which left us coasting along in midafternoon traffic.
The Chaos of Luck Page 16