“I think so. For now, he believes my skill set and t-mods make me the only one able to operate it. He wants me to run it through basic field testing but I’ve told him I want to see the specs first. If I stall him long enough, I’ll have the time I need to snipe his memory blocks.”
I knew what he was saying made sense, but I could feel a tiny seed of doubt creeping into my heart—doubt Brody had sown. “I thought you said I would always be first with you.”
He swore softly but viciously in my ear. “You know it will always be you, but this…I have to do this or there is no future. If I can’t stay ahead of Konstantin, there won’t be any us. I may be leader of the Tsarist Consortium, but it’s in name only. I need to understand what he’s doing and this is the only way.”
I hung in his grip, stupidly watching my potatoes boil. He was right, of course. He needed to deal with Belikov. But he was also wrong and I couldn’t make him see that because I wasn’t sure I wanted to. I didn’t know why, but I didn’t want him there with me, surrounded by my family. I thought I did, but now the case was otherwise, and that knowledge scared me.
“You’re right. Dealing with Belikov takes priority,” I said, letting my head fall back against his shoulder. “Don’t worry about me. I’ll manage. What does a picnic matter when everything else is hanging in the balance?”
He spun me around and pushed me back against the cupboards, kissing me with such heated intensity, I didn’t even notice the AI monitoring the water temperature had allowed the potatoes to boil over until he broke away. He rested his forehead against mine, both of us panting, wanting, needing to touch each other.
“If I didn’t think someone might walk in here any second, I’d already have you spread out on the counter, coming for me,” he whispered, before backing away and not so discreetly adjusting himself.
I shivered at the idea and had a moment where I couldn’t remember if we’d ever had sex in the kitchen or not and maybe we’d better just to make sure, before common sense took over. “What are you going to do when we can’t solve every problem between us with sex?”
He looked at me like I’d lost my mind before he grinned. “I look forward to finding that out with you.” Then he sighed, looking off into the distance, obviously getting a ping from the CN-net. “Konstantin already wants to know when I’m coming back to the test lab.”
“You’re leaving right now?”
He touched my cheek. “I have to. I’m sorry. I might not see you for a few sols. I’m sorry…Fuck. I’m so sick of not being here and telling you how sorry I am. This…It will get better. I promise.”
He looked so miserable, I couldn’t be angry at him. I’d never seen him torn like this, so at a loss and grasping for control. “It’s fine. We’ll get through this. Just do what you need to do and I’ll be here waiting for you. I love you.”
“The second this is over, we’re getting married.”
I smiled, humoring him. “Okay, we’ll get married.”
Then he kissed me again—hard enough to knock the breath out of me and leave me aching for him—turned on his heel, and left.
And to my horror, I could not have been more relieved to see him go.
So it was just me, my cards, and a heaping bowl of potato salad that went to Celeste’s event. While I knew most of my scattered family on Mars, I wasn’t as close to them as I was to those on Earth. That was something I hoped to change.
The flight-limo dropped me and a pair of chain-breakers in front of the venue, Spirit Park, though it wasn’t really a park. It was an enclosed nature and garden sanctuary that hosted private themed parties. It was for the sort of person who wanted a party outdoors, but didn’t want bad weather ruining their event. It was also over-the-top and the last word in ostentatious, making me wonder what sort of con Celeste and her husband were running on the park owners. There was no way they could have afforded this otherwise. Lotus probably knew the score. She knew everything. Or if she didn’t know, she was nosy enough to ask. I was glad I’d dressed up instead of down, wearing a coral-colored sleeveless dress that floated like a dream around my legs and matching coral flats.
According to the invitation, the event was in the Gardenia Room—one of the event spaces in Spirit Park. As I entered the hexagon-shaped building, the citizenship chip in my c-tex was scanned by an automated chip reader so the event numbers could be reported to One Gov. Then I crossed the threshold and paused, momentarily baffled. I knew I’d gone through a set of doors, yet it still felt and looked like I was outside. The breeze ruffled my hair and the sun warmed my skin. Gravel crunched underfoot when I walked. The grass and flowers all felt, looked, and even smelled real. The tactile holograms were powerful enough to fool even a spook like me—without t-mods an AI could lock on to and “trick.”
Following the marked path and posted signs, I made my way to the Gardenia Room. The whole time, I was so positive I was outside, I gave up trying to figure out how it worked and accepted it for what it was. One of my chain-breakers—gods only knew if they’d registered with the One Gov chip reader or not—peeled off for parts unknown while the other stayed at my side. I turned as the path directed, saw a shimmer of light beside me, and I was in another room. It still felt like outdoors, except instead of following a gravel path through the woods, I was in a glade full of leafy green shrubs teeming with white petal flowers. The air smelled like heaven, filled with the scent of gardenias. In the center of the glade were several circular tables with enormous centerpieces and pristine table linens. Most were occupied; looked like I was among the last to arrive.
“Felicia! You made it!” Celeste called out, swooping down on me. She wore a silver gown that nearly brushed the grass and her hair was pulled into an elaborate updo with silver feathers woven into the strands. Looked like I’d been spot-on with my decision to dress up. “She’s here, everyone!”
A chorus of “hellos” and “welcomes” followed from the various tables. Then I found my “made with love” potato salad yanked out of my hands before I was enveloped in a hug that threatened to crush me.
Celeste’s hazel eyes swept over me. “You survived what happened on Mannette Bleu’s disaster theater? It’s all anyone could talk about.”
“I’m fine, and I brought the cards so there’s nothing to worry about.” Thank you, Brody, I added silently.
“No one cares about the cards. You’re more important,” Celeste assured me.
Spoken like someone who didn’t have the luck gene. “Thanks, but we know that’s not true. I could name at least twenty people who would disagree.”
“Then they’re idiots,” she said in a tone indicating it was her final word on the subject. She handed my salad to a passing teenage boy, some cousin or other, who grunted and headed off in the direction of the food. I hoped I got my bowl back later.
“Where’s the boyfriend?” Celeste asked. Seemed like my other chain-breaker had peeled off as well or she probably would have thought we were a couple.
“He wanted to be here, but a work situation popped up. I did say he was busy.”
I’m not sure Celeste was actually listening to me since she was looking at my hand, eyes widening.
“Holy fuck,” she said, a phrase I couldn’t remember ever having heard come out of her mouth. She picked up my left hand to examine my ring. “Is that real? They can probably see it from Earth.”
I laughed self-consciously. “Yes, it’s real. I guess I’m getting married. It just sort of happened so I haven’t really told anyone yet.”
“Married to someone none of us have met,” Celeste said, frowning as she played mother hen. “You know we need to meet him first. See how he fits in.”
Oh boy, that would certainly be interesting. “Well, Lotus knows him.”
Celeste made a sound that could only be described as disapproving before pulling me toward the group.
“Let me introduce you to everyone first. I know there are some you still haven’t met. Then we’ll talk about this no-show b
oyfriend.” She brightened suddenly. “Oh, if you’re getting married, you know what this means?”
I looked at her worriedly as she pulled me farther into the crowd, some of whom were rising out of chairs to make their way toward me. “No, what?”
“It means more babies!”
“More babies? But I’m not having a baby.”
I stopped short, the rest of what I wanted to say abruptly forgotten.
As my family approached, that was when I saw it. Maybe I wasn’t having a baby, but it looked like every single female in my family who was of childbearing years was. All of them were pregnant. Every damn last one. I stopped counting at ten, but I’m pretty sure there were more. Maybe it was as high as fifteen.
Now I could see why Lotus was so keen on having a baby, and why my own thoughts were straying in that direction. The luck gene looked for ways to change events in its favor and now that our blacklisted status was revoked, it was prodding us to begin reproducing like damned rabbits.
I had caused this to happen, I realized. If I hadn’t suffered and lost and fought and been betrayed and used over and over again, none of these children would exist. I had paid the price for all this, and it had been expensive, nearly costing me everything. Yet instead of feeling vindicated, it made me angry. It reminded me how miserable and helpless I’d felt, and let me know I was a pawn once again. I would never have my own life because I would always be luck’s fucking pawn, always pulled in the direction it wanted and doing its bidding.
“Celeste, what the hell?” I blurted out, looking at the assortment of pregnant bellies ambling toward me. “Why didn’t someone warn me?”
“What’s to warn? We’re having babies, not breeding locusts.”
“But…” I opened my mouth, closed it, not sure what to say. I was never going to be free, I realized bleakly. Never. “You said a few of them were pregnant, but not this many. Not all at once.”
“I know. Isn’t it amazing? These women eat like calorie consumption points are a suggestion, not a law. You really should have brought more potato salad.”
All I could do was nod because it was better than freaking out and running away.
“Yeah,” I said helplessly. “More salad.”
Chapter Eighteen
It was 8:00 a.m. sharp, and Lotus was late. Big surprise.
I stood outside the Stone Fertility Clinic security checkpoint, glancing at my c-tex and waiting for a shim to explain her delay while I sipped my coffee. It was all I could do to keep from tapping my toe on the sidewalk as I watched other couples sign in with the One Gov hooahs before entering the clinic. The building itself was squat, square, ugly, and very government-looking. It stood out from the rest of the buildings, refusing to fit in with the architectural flow of the neighborhood. It was like it had gone out of its way to be hideous. Well, at least there wasn’t a protest blocking the entrance. No chance of a firebombing today.
After yesterday’s blindside at the picnic, Lotus had asked if I wanted to go with her and Buckley to their appointment to have their fertility inhibitors removed. That way, I could see how the process worked. Then she winked and nudged me while gesturing to my ring, making me want to slap her. So now I waited, feeling an anxious, fluttering sensation in my chest. Why, I didn’t know. There was no good reason for it. It was just there, kind of like the sun in the sky. Probably because I was excited for Lotus, I decided.
I’d gotten a shim from Alexei asking how the picnic had been and what my plans were for today. My answers were vague: “Good” and “Hanging out with Lotus.” I hadn’t known what else to say, and thankfully I could get away with brief answers on my c-tex; he knew typing replies took me so long, I usually kept them short. How could I explain yesterday and the confusing jumble of emotions swamping me? How could I tell him where I was now? I couldn’t even explain it to myself. My state of mind was tangled and chaotic. Everything felt unpredictable and up in the air.
I sipped my coffee, waiting and getting more annoyed with Lotus—honestly, how had she ever made it to work on time—when I noticed a familiar figure coming toward me. Well, three actually, but only one that made me swear out loud. There were Buckley, Lotus, and beside her, Brody. Fuck. Why was he everywhere I was? What was he trying to do to me? And didn’t the man ever work? I was tempted to shim Alexei and demand to know what was up with Brody, but didn’t. It would mean having to explain a host of things I wasn’t ready to tell him. I’d just upset him and gods knew he didn’t need anything else on his plate. No need to create more problems, or so I justified it to myself.
Still, it was an awful realization to know I wanted to see Brody. The anxious fluttering grew as he came nearer. I was reacting like some stupid lovesick teenager. Gods, I was probably going to start giggling and twirling my hair next.
“Hey, Felicia. Look who we ran into,” Lotus said as they approached me.
“Wow, what a coincidence,” I said, scowling.
“Isn’t it?” Brody agreed. “Such a small world.”
I scowled deeper. “Don’t you ever work?”
“Actually, I seem to find myself at loose ends this morning. Private Consortium meeting and I wasn’t invited. Seems to be happening quite a bit lately.”
“Maybe you’re about to find yourself unemployed,” I replied scathingly.
Brody kept grinning at me, as if the more unpleasant I was, the more he enjoyed it. “Unlikely, but thanks for your concern.”
“You sure you want him here?” I directed the question to Lotus and Buckley. Buckley shrugged as if indifferent to the whole process and was just happy to have time off work. Lotus had a different approach.
“When we ran into him, it seemed like a good idea to ask him to come along.” Which was code for “my gut wanted him there,” so I couldn’t argue with that.
I threw my empty coffee cup into the closest molecule scattering unit, where the cup would be broken down into its base elements and made into some other product. Then we all trooped inside once Lotus had the citizenship chip in her c-tex scanned, with it showing the details of her appointment. Next we went through security, endured a weapons scan, and eventually entered the building. A guide met us at the door—female, tall, slender, with striking blue eyes and light blond hair. Pretty in a way that was almost forgettable because it was so generic. She was a “type,” fitting so well into the landscape of the genetic blueprint One Gov set for humanity, her prettiness didn’t even rate.
Well, that wasn’t necessarily true. Buckley was having a great time checking out her ass while she led the way, taking us down an industrial-looking gray corridor complete with bars on the windows. If he’d been my boyfriend, I would have killed him. Lotus rolled her eyes and gave me a long-suffering look.
“You sure you want to do this with him?” I whispered to her. “Eighteen years is a long time to be tied to someone.”
Her expression was grim. “No, it’s decided. We want to do this.”
“But you could do so much better. You don’t have to settle for…” I waved vaguely in Buckley’s direction.
“At least I know what I’m getting and there’ll be no surprises,” she said, her voice just as hushed as mine. “We can’t all have Russian gods falling into our laps. We also don’t have whatever’s going on here either.” There, a subtle tilt of her head toward Brody. “I prefer to keep my problems uncomplicated.”
Ouch. I kept my mouth shut after that and concentrated on the destination, not the journey.
Eventually we were taken to a small room at the end of the hall. Inside were a few uncomfortable-looking black fabric chairs, a data portal, and an examination table. The institutional gray theme continued, except without windows. That was the thing about One Gov—equality for all meant you couldn’t please everyone. The basics were provided because every full citizen had the same rights and deserved the same treatment, but that was all. If you wanted more, you paid for it. And when you were paying, you were entitled to whatever you could afford.
“Someone will attend to you shortly,” the woman said, leaving us all in the small room and closing the door behind her.
Luckily we didn’t wait long. Otherwise, I had a feeling someone would start fighting—either Lotus and Buckley or myself and Brody. Another female tech entered dressed in a white uniform: short skirt, short-sleeved top, and knee-high boots. Like the other woman, she had One Gov’s logo over her left breast—yellow sun, three white dots representing the planets, all on a black background. She looked similar to the first woman except her hair wasn’t quite as blond. She cast confused glances between Lotus and me.
“Lotus Sevigny?” she asked. “You and the father-elect—Buckley Maslin—are here to have your fertility inhibitors removed?”
“That’s us!” Lotus jumped up from her chair and dragged Buckley after her.
“Your citizenship chips show your reproduction approval permits are in order. It looks like today you’re both here for inhibitor removal and specimen harvesting. Then next week, you’ll be back for your fertilized implant,” she said pleasantly, then looked around the room again. “Would you like your friends to remain, or do you just want the father-elect?”
“My cousin is here because I want her to see what the procedure is like,” Lotus said. “He’s moral support.” The last was said with a wave toward Brody, who leaned against the wall and looked a damn sight more attentive than the father-elect, who was clearly browsing the CN-net given the vacant look on his face.
“Alright,” the tech said, her smile brightening. “Let’s get started.”
“I have a question,” Brody said, hitting the tech with that flirty smile he could do without even trying. “Could you check to see if Felicia Sevigny is on the list for inhibitor removal?”
The Chaos of Luck Page 24