This seemed like the best thing I’d heard in ages. I merely held on and trusted he would take me wherever I needed to be.
At one point I murmured, “I need to tell Felipe I’m okay.”
“He knows. For now, only we matter.”
I felt rather than saw him slide us into the flight-limo, marveling that he managed it without jarring me. Darkness closed around us, then I felt the tug in my stomach as we took off. I burrowed into him, my hands tucked between us, and my face pressed into the curve of his neck and shoulder while I huddled in his lap. I couldn’t stop shivering, my body feeling like a tightly wound spring. One of his hands stroked my back in soothing circles. The other held my right foot, then my left, rubbing his thumb along the arch. Minutes passed as he massaged the feeling back into me and I’d thawed enough to relax against him.
Finally, I felt safe. Though I’d technically been rescued hours ago, it wasn’t until I was in Alexei’s arms that I could relax. Alexei—the cause of, and solution to, all my problems. He had the ability to make me feel worse and better all at once.
I raised my head so I could see the line of his jaw and a hint of stubble. I reached up to gently scrape a nail along it, enjoying the scratchy feeling I sometimes complained about, sighing and letting myself sink into him.
“What happened with Belikov?” I asked, my voice a whisper.
“I took care of him in the only way that would give us peace.” As he spoke, he pulled my hair out from where I’d tucked it and unwound the strands until they flowed loosely down my back.
“Do I want to know what that means?”
“It means you’re safe and I’ve dealt with any remaining leadership issues in the Consortium,” he said, his lips brushing my temple.
“Is he dead?” I pressed.
“Yes. They are all dead.”
I let out the breath I’d been holding, worrying a little that the only thing I felt was relief. “I know you didn’t want me to see it. Are you okay with what you had to do?”
For a moment, the hand stopped moving on my back before the slow circles resumed. His voice was very bland and neutral when he said, “He betrayed my trust and ultimately wanted both of us dead. In the end, I did what was necessary to ensure we survived. Does knowing that bother you?”
“It should, but he wouldn’t have stopped until he’d killed us. I’d rather we lived, not him,” I decided as I absently ran my hand over his chest and smoothed the wrinkles in his shirt. “Is it alright to say I’ve had enough life-threatening situations and I’d like to pass on them in the future?”
I felt his chest move with a quiet chuckle. “Perfectly alright.” His lips brushed my hair. “I talked to the Under-Secretary about what the Consortium’s next move will be.”
That made me blink. “I can’t imagine you working together, never mind talking to each other.”
“You’d be surprised. After all, I had to go through him to get to you; said he would arrest me if I approached you. I wasn’t sure he could, but I didn’t want to risk it. I spent all last week watching you prune roses.”
“You watched me with the roses?” I asked, both mesmerized and shocked.
“I had to see you,” he said, his nose running along my throat. “You looked so pretty and content. All I wanted was to go to you but he wouldn’t allow it, so we talked. He told me some things, made some suggestions, and I’ve been sorting through Konstantin’s memory blocks. It’s been…illuminating. Things aren’t quite as I believed them to be. I want Karol to run tests on my DNA, and yours, and see what he discovers.”
I nodded, not sure what to say. All I knew was I felt this tiny burst of happiness in my chest that pushed out any remaining fear. It hurt and made my throat ache like I wanted to start crying. I didn’t—gods knew I’d ugly cried enough over him already.
“I need to ask you something and I need you to tell me the truth,” Alexei said, his hand stilling on my back. He turned my face to his, running his fingers gently over my cheek where the web-compress had been. “Do you want him? Is your gut still pulling you to him, because if it is, I need to know.”
“No I don’t, and that upsets me because I feel like a horrible person. Luck used him to force a particular set of events to occur then cut him loose. And if I did wonder ‘what if,’ it never had any substance because you were always what I wanted. I’ve never felt for anyone what I feel for you regardless of how I’m pulled in another direction.”
“Did you ever think you were subverting your own luck, forcing it onto the path you wanted instead of the other way round? Wasn’t that one of your mother’s rules—that you could short-circuit your luck on another’s behalf? If this was what you really wanted, you wouldn’t accept any other options because, for you, this was your only choice.”
“You know you make my head hurt when you get like this,” I murmured.
Again he laughed softly, the sound rumbling in his chest. “It means I’m the one you want. The only one,” he said, moving me so I straddled his thighs. Our eyes were level, locked on each other’s. My hands curved around his shoulders so I could pull myself closer. His own hands slid under my hideous gray top, trailing over my ribs. Then he stopped, frowning. “What if I can’t give you everything you want?”
I ran my fingers over his face, smoothing away his frown and the lines that came with it. “I don’t need you to give me everything. I just need you to be by my side while we figure this all out.”
Alexei gazed at me, his expression serious. “If that’s what you believe, then we can try.”
“Nothing like two science experiments conducting their own research,” I agreed, running my fingers through his hair, loving that he was mine. “We can be…lab partners, working on a science project together.”
He laughed out loud at that, his hands moving over my skin again. “When you put it like that, I don’t see how this plan could fail. Maybe we should get a dog first,” he suggested, arching an eyebrow. “For practice.”
“Okay, we’ll get a dog. A cute puff ball I can carry in my purse. You can take it for walkies.”
He looked at me like I’d lost my mind. “I’m not walking a puff ball.”
“Sure you are. It will be adorable. I’m enjoying visualizing this already.”
He jerked me more securely into his lap and might have done more if the flight-limo hadn’t begun its descent. Soon we were on the ground and we entered the house together.
I noticed the house was quiet, and clean. “I’ve moved everyone to other locations,” he said as we climbed the stairs. “For those who’ll be staying on Mars permanently, we needed more space.”
In the bedroom, there was new furniture and the walls were white and bare. I didn’t ask and he didn’t explain. When I left that awful night and heard furniture smashing, I knew Alexei had been so upset and out of control, he didn’t know what to do with the anger he’d felt. I couldn’t fault him when it really had seemed like everything was falling apart.
While I looked, he lifted my arm and clicked something onto my wrist. My c-tex bracelet, except not the one Novi destroyed. This was sleeker and more beautiful, with extra jeweled outlets. It had a shiny silver finish, but both the silver and the jewels changed color to match what I wore. Amazing, even if the outfit I wore happened to be prison grays.
“I had Karol make it,” he said. “He transferred your data and your citizenship chip.”
“Thank you,” I breathed. “I wasn’t sure what I would have done without it.”
Rather than let me go, he pulled me closer until his arms were around me. Even as I leaned in and looped my arms about his waist, I murmured, “I need a shower. I feel disgusting.”
“No,” he said, and backed me up until my legs hit the edge of the bed. “You’re perfect and I need you more than the shower does. Besides, I can’t let you go.”
“Then don’t,” I whispered, sliding my hands over his body, loving the feel of him. “I’m sorry I ran or made you feel like you like you couldn’t be hones
t with me. I’ve never belonged to anyone the way I belong to you, and whatever the Consortium made you, I don’t care. I love you and that isn’t going to change.”
“And I belong to you entirely. Nothing will come between us again. I love you too much to lose another second with you.” He brought me flush against him, letting me know exactly how much I affected him. “And now we need to make up for lost time.”
My eyes flew up to his. “I don’t have a fertility inhibitor anymore.”
“I know.”
With that, he kissed me. It was so sweet and gentle, I sank into him, not resisting when he lowered me to the edge of the bed or carefully peeled off my clothes and kicked the offending things away.
“Burn those,” I murmured.
“Consider them burned.”
He removed his own clothing, then eased me back until we were both on the bed, lying on our sides atop the sheets. For long moments, we just looked at each other as if memorizing everything we might have forgotten about the other. We’d been apart before, but not like this, not when it seemed like events would break us forever. His hands traced my face, then moved over my body, caressing with slow, feathery touches and kisses. I sighed and arched against him, lost in the intimacy of the moment. I mirrored his touches, loving his groans when I took him in my hands and felt the throbbing heat of him, knowing no other woman could ever make him feel the way I did.
As if he could sense how much I needed to possess him, he rolled us so I was on top of him, straddling his hips. I gasped and put my hands on the hard muscles of his chest to catch my balance.
“I want to watch you,” he whispered, his hands stroking my thighs and along my sides. “I want to feel you moving over me and see your face when you come. I would take anything you wanted to give just to be with you.”
“Alexei—”
Rolling his hips skillfully under me, he made me gasp when he pressed a thumb against my clit. “Take what you want. I’m yours. Own me.”
Maybe it was strange, but him giving the power to me when I’d recently been so powerless felt like the most erotic thing in the world. My body clenched with anticipation.
Taking his wrists—though the idea that I could ever hold him down was laughable—I pinned his arms over his head. His eyes narrowed but he let me, the muscles in his biceps flexing enticingly. Then I leaned down to kiss him, parting his lips with mine and dipping my tongue into his mouth. I pulled away when he thrust back or when I felt his hands open and close restlessly as if he couldn’t help wanting to grab me.
“Don’t or I’ll stop,” I threatened, running my tongue along the edge of his ear.
Immediately he settled, but I could feel the frustration in him. Flipping me onto my back and driving into me would be as easy as breathing for him. The fact that he didn’t made me want to reward him.
I resumed kissing him, letting my breasts brush against his chest. As I did, my nipples tightened, aching for his touch. I scooted up until they hung over his mouth, brushing his lips. He took the obvious invitation, sucking one then the other. His tongue circled my nipple, his teeth gently scraping until I gasped and floundered against him, barely able to hold myself up as pleasure washed through me. That was when I noticed he’d freed a hand and stroked between my legs. He toyed with my clit, rubbing in a way that sent shocks of heat through me.
I gave him a stern look. “Keep it up and this stops,” I warned, although gods knew I was so far gone, the threat had no bite.
With superhuman effort, he pulled his hands away and let them drift to my thighs, kneading the skin lightly. I leaned back, sliding down his body until I was over his hips. My hands flowed over him at the same time, loving the feel of him, all the power and strength under my palms. All of him, mine.
“I get off just looking at you,” I whispered. “Sometimes I look at you and it’s all I can do not to jump you. Anywhere. Anytime. That’s how much I want you.”
His hands tightened on my thighs. “Now, Felicia. I need to be in you now.”
I arched away. “Not yet. I’m not ready.”
“I can make you ready,” he assured me.
“I don’t doubt it. I’ve enjoyed your work before,” I said, adjusting my position until my hips hovered over his. I placed a line of kisses down his chest and abs. “But until I’m ready, you’ll have to wait.”
He swore and stilled himself under me. I don’t know why, but watching him struggle was so hot, I thought I might catch fire. Suddenly I was the one who couldn’t wait. I raised myself up and took his straining erection in my hand until his tip brushed my opening. Taking a breath, I lowered myself onto him. This angle made him feel larger, making it a struggle. I could feel myself stretching to accommodate him and the bite of pleasure-pain was so much so I wasn’t sure I could do this. He was almost too big like this, too deep. I whimpered, caught in that limbo of wanting him more than my own life and being afraid I couldn’t handle him.
I felt his hands on my hips, pulling me down as he worked himself into me. My breath caught and I threw my head back as shudders racked my body. My arms flew behind me and I braced myself on his thighs, my back arching as I took all of him. I cried out at the feeling of being so full, the pain turning to pleasure as I held him inside me. I didn’t want to move and have the sensation end, despite knowing what followed would be even better.
“You feel so good inside me,” I whispered raggedly. “So good I can’t even think.”
I felt his hands tighten and spasm on my hips. “You are so fucking beautiful like this,” he murmured. Then his hands began to stroke me, urging me onward. “Move for me. Let me see you come.”
Slowly at first, with his hands guiding me up and easing me down, I rose and fell on him. Each move left me breathless, the rhythm uneven at first, until I was able to glide over him. Alexei told me how beautiful I was, how sexy, how he wanted no one but me, how much he loved me. His hands stroked me, the touches growing more heated. His hands had gone from my thighs to one bracing my back, the other stimulating my clit, caressing in steady circles my hips couldn’t help but chase. The friction increased, my breathing growing unsteady.
He began to thrust, his hips rising to meet my downstrokes. The feel of him driving up to meet me while I came down on him was too much. It pushed me over an invisible ledge I didn’t even realize I’d been standing on. I fell into a shattering climax that had my back bowing so deeply, it was a wonder I didn’t fall over. It shook my entire body, making me clench helplessly around him and lose all sense of self. All I could do was feel as the orgasm whipped its way through me, turning me into a quivering mass atop him.
He flipped me onto my back, never missing a stroke while he continued his thrusts. As he controlled the speed and movements, they became more forceful, more powerful, and so, so deep. My orgasm had barely ended when another started to build. I clung to him, arms around his neck and legs at his waist. My heels dug into the backs of his thighs, arching my body up to his. His tempo increased, the thrusts so overwhelming, I knew I wouldn’t be able to endure much more. Even as my orgasm built and threatened to crush me under a tidal wave of pleasure, I was sure I would drown.
When it broke over me, I screamed. My pleasure brought his, making him shout my name, clutching me so tightly to him, I thought he’d shatter me. It went on as both of us strained against each other, fighting to make it last. And even when it finished, we lay together, breathing each other’s breath, sweat-soaked bodies locked together, neither wanting to separate from the other.
An eternity later, he eased off me, trailing kisses across my lips, cheek, and shoulder. I heard movement beside me, then he was back, turning us until we were on our sides. He brushed the hair from my face, looking at me so intensely, it hurt. In his other hand, he held the ring he’d given me, the one I hadn’t seen since the night I’d stormed out.
“I’d like to give this back to you, if you want it. If it scares you, I can put it away and we forget it ever existed,” he said.
<
br /> I looked from the ring to his carefully neutral expression. It was the only clue I had to how anxious he was. In many ways, he knew me better than I knew myself, just like I could say about him. I smiled and brought my left hand between us.
“I want it. I never stopped wanting it even when I ran away,” I said, and was rewarded with a smile that had me melting inside as he slipped the ring on my finger. Then he kissed the knuckles of my hand before looping my arm around his neck.
“Vieira said something similar. That your family had a tendency to run, and if I wanted you, I had to chase you. Little does he know I’ve already chased you halfway across the tri-system.”
“Very funny!” I punched him in the shoulder, or tried to. He caught my arm and pinned it over my head the way I’d pinned his earlier. “Am I going to hear more of these pearls of wisdom in the future?”
“You might. You spent a week with the roses. It forced Vieira and me to talk about things we would never have discussed otherwise and decide how we wanted to shape the future.”
“I see,” I said, hoping I sounded unconcerned when I was anything but. “Were you dividing the tri-system up between you?”
Alexei made a noncommittal noise in his throat. Then he ran his lips over the curve of my shoulder, rolled me, and pinned my other arm over my head.
“He wanted to know when we were getting married and if he would be invited,” he said instead. “I told him this week, and we’d think about it.”
“What?” I tried to sit up, shocked. I couldn’t with the way he pinned me, as if he’d planned it. “Are you out of your mind?”
“That’s what he said, so we both agreed the following week would be better.”
“What?” I shrieked again. “That isn’t enough time!”
“Actually if the bride is willing, it should be more than enough,” he said, placing hot, openmouthed kisses along my throat.
“But…” Two weeks to arrange a wedding? I couldn’t do everything I needed to do in two weeks. Then again, what did I really need except him? “I’d want my family there—Lotus, Celeste, as many as you can round up,” I heard myself say as if from a million miles away. My gut perked up with interest.
The Chaos of Luck Page 33