by Tim Tingle
“He wasn’t ‘doing’ anything for me, Lennie!” She bit her lip. Lennie had backed her into a corner, and she had admitted the existence of this ‘coal miner friend’. She went on the offensive. “How do you know about any of this? Have you been snooping again, after I told you I didn’t like you snooping around my house?”
“I wasn’t snoopin’. I just keep up with what goes on down Kellerman Road.”
“Then how do you know about this coal miner?”
“I seen him pass my house. That ain’t snoopin’!”
“You watch with your binoculars, don’t you?”
“Uh-huh.”
“How do you know he is a coal miner?”
“Cause there’s a thing on his windshield that says ‘Savage Creek #2 Mine’.”
“Okay, but you are wrong in assuming that there was something going on between me and him, because there wasn’t! He’s a married man!”
Before she could realize that she had stuck her foot in her mouth again, he replied,
“So was the Judge. He was married, before you killed him!”
She was so startled by this bombshell, that the car swerved into the left lane, causing a trucker to lay on the horn as he blew past them. She pulled to the right shoulder of the road, and came to a stop.
“Isn’t it illegal or somethin’ to stop on the Interstate?” Lennie asked. But he knew that was the least thing on her mind, when he saw her insane look. She shifted to ‘park’, and turned in the seat to face him.
“WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT THE JUDGE? Say it again, Lennie!”
“I dunno, I think I forgot what I was sayin’!”
“Well, think real hard! What did you say about the Judge?”
“I think I said, he was married too!”
“And what is the significance of the Judge being married, Lennie?”
“I dunno! You’re the one getting’ up-set about it!”
“Nothing! There is no significance to that fact whatsoever!”
“Okay.”
“Okay? Is that all you have to say, after you accuse me of murdering the Judge, and carrying on affairs with both him and Travis?”
“So, Travis is who? The coal miner?”
She bit her tongue. Stupid, stupid, stupid! Just keep your mouth shut, girl!
“I didn’t mean to make you mad, Miranda! I just said I could help you out, if you need help with somethin’.”
“I can assure you, Lennie, you are not going to have anything resembling a sexual affair, going on with me!”
“Oh, I wasn’t talkin’ about that at all.”
As the rush-hour traffic blew past them on the Interstate, Miranda sat with her face in her hands, wondering how this mental midget had been able to blow open her big secret. Had she done that bad a job in trying to cover it up?
“Miranda? Are you okay?”
“Oh yeah, I’m just fine, Lennie! I am just fine!”
“Want me to get out and walk home?”
“Would you, please?”
“Sure!” He opened the door to get out.
“Close the door, Lennie, I was being sarcastic! I’m going to take you home.”
“Okay.” He closed the door. He had fully intended to walk home, if she wanted him to.
Her head was throbbing, as she tried to decide what to do. What to say. Mostly she was curious about how Lennie knew so much. Finally she said, “Lennie, I did not kill the Judge! He told me he was going out west. He asked me to go with him, but I refused his offer, because, first of all, he is a married man.”
“So what happened to him?”
“I told you! He went out west!”
“Then what is his head doing in your freezer?”
Now that’s a good one! Miranda thought. For a dummy, he sure can come up with hard questions! How do I explain a little thing like a man’s head in my freezer?
“What makes you think you saw a head in my freezer?”
“It wasn’t just a head, it was the Judge’s head! The day I closed your freezer for you, I saw it! I didn’t say nothin’ about it, because I didn’t want to embarrass you!”
That’s Lennie! Always thinking of others!
“I didn’t kill him, Lennie. He died of a heart attack, in his own home.”
“He had a heart attack, so you cut him up and put him in your freezer?”
“I know, it sounds stupid, I know it sounds strange, but what would you have done?”
“I’d do like they do on TV, and call 911.”
“Well, that thought didn’t occur to me Lennie! All I could think of was, I wasn’t supposed to be in his house, because he was a married man, and so I didn’t call the police either!”
“Gosh, Miranda! What were you thinking?”
“Lennie, I don’t need you of all people, to tell me how stupid I was! Believe me! I know now, how stupid I was! Okay, now let’s just get over it!”
“Okay,” he replied in a calm voice. “So what are you going to do now?”
“About what?”
“Everything.”
“First I’m going to get back on the road, and get you home.”
“Then are you going to call the police, and tell them what happened?”
“Absolutely not! I can’t call them now! Not after I cut him up and hid him like I did! I would go to prison! But I guess you’ll call the police anyway!”
“No! You’re my friend, Miranda! I wouldn’t tell on you!”
“Watch for me, I’m getting back on the road.” She saw an opening in the traffic and punched the accelerator. Her sports car easily slipped back into traffic.
“I can still help you, if you want me to.”
“Lennie, how can you possibly help me with this problem of mine?”
“I can call the police, and tell ‘em I killed the Judge!”
“What? That’s crazy, Lennie!”
“No it’s not!”
“Yes it is! No one would believe that! Everyone knows you wouldn’t hurt a fly!”
“I would too! I mean, if I wanted to!”
“Listen, Lennie, just forget about all this! All you can do is screw it up worse than it already is!”
“You don’t think I can help you, do you? You think I’m just a dummy!”
“No, Lennie . . .”
“I know more than people think I do! If I really did kill the Judge, what would they do to me?”
“Send you to prison!”
“No! They’d send me to a hospital! They don’t send crazy folks to prison! They’d send me to a hospital, to get well! And I like hospital food! And I won’t be there long, because the Doctor said I gonna die anyway!”
“You’re not going to die any time soon, Lennie!”
“Ain’t what the doctor says! So if I gonna die anyway, why not say I killed the Judge? You’d be in the clear! And what can they do to me?”
For a terrible moment, Miranda actually considered what he was saying, because it made sense. Lennie was actually making sense. But she couldn’t think of actually doing it. “No, Lennie. This is my mess. I have to deal with this myself, but thanks anyway.”
“Okay. Miranda, you’re pretty, but they gonna mess you up in prison!”
Those words stung.
“Maybe no one will suspect me, Lennie! If I dispose of the body parts in my freezer, maybe there won’t be any evidence to suspect me.”
“Got more parts in your freezer?”
“Just two. I already disposed of the others.”
“Where?”
“You don’t need to know that. Take my word for it, they will never be found.”
“Why didn’t you get rid of all the parts?”
“That was my fault. I
was stupid! But when I get rid of the final two parts, I’m going to get rid of the freezer too.”
“Want me to help?”
“No, Lennie, I can do it myself!”
“But I can do something!”
“No, just let me handle it!”
As they drove on in silence, Miranda couldn’t believe that she had actually spilled everything like she had. She couldn’t believe that he already knew what she did! That couldn’t be good. She knew he was going to somehow cause this to blow up in her face. And when it did, she would only have herself to blame. What did Lennie say? They gonna mess you up in prison!
That statement stuck in her mind, like peanut butter to the roof of her mouth. How could such a dummy make such a profound statement? For starters, Lennie wasn’t as dumb as he made out to be. He was a good observer, and he watched a lot of TV, but he was simple-minded and direct. He saw simple solutions to complex problems, because his mind was not cluttered with the debris of intellect or emotion. He saw the world in black and white, which greatly simplified things.
But what really blew her mind, was that he was so selfless. He had just learned from the doctor that he was going to die from a brain tumor that was visibly growing, and yet, he wasn’t wallowing in self-pity. Instead, he was offering to help her with her problems! What planet was this guy from?
As they rode on in silence, she thought about his offer to take the blame for killing the Judge. It was out of the question, of course, but what a stroke of genius, to let him take the blame, because he was dying anyway! Really, what could they do to him? And whatever they did to him, would he even care? That really would be a perfect solution! To plant the incriminating evidence at his house, and let him be accused of killing the Judge! But the only bad part to this was Lennie himself. One slip of the tongue, which Lennie was known to do, and suspicion would be thrown right back at her! That was the risk of letting Lennie help her with this. But he already knew about it, which was just as bad, so now she had something new to worry about. She shook her head as she realized the tangled web she was weaving. She glanced at Lennie. He was as care-free as a puppy.
“Lennie, want me to stop in Bessemer to fill these prescriptions?”
“Sure, might as well. It’ll save me a trip back to town.”
She wished she knew what was going through his mind right now, but she was afraid to ask. “After the drugstore, let’s stop at Dairy-Queen for a banana split, or something.”
His face lit up, just like a kid. “Sure!”
25
Travis signed copies of his book from 2 until 5 in the afternoon, at which time the store owner interrupted the signing to say that the author would be taking a 30 minute break. The book signing would resume at 5:30. One of the store workers passed out numbers to those waiting in line, so they would not lose their places. Travis was glad for a break, but asked why they couldn’t finish up the 20 or so in line, and be done. “This is the first time there has been slack in the line all day.”
“Which is exactly why we are taking a break now. In 30 minutes, the evening crowd will start gathering. Now, I took the liberty to order out a meal for you. It’s there in the office, if you wish to eat.”
“Yes, I think I will. Thank you.”
Angel accompanied him back to the office, where he found a very nice meal waiting on him.
“Hey, this smells pretty good. Looks like Chinese.”
“It is Indian cuisine actually. We have a large number of emigrants here from India and Pakistan, which were our former colonial holdings. We therefore have some great Indian restaurants. That looks like Curry Chicken.”
“Would you like some?”
“No, thank you. I have been snacking off the refreshment table all day! So, what do you think of your first English book-signing?”
“Are you kidding! It started out with the Queen, and has not let up all day! I must have signed a thousand books!”
“357, to be exact. We have them sign in, and take a number, so we know exactly. That’s over two per minute, which is pretty good! I like your rapport with the customers as well. You make them feel as though they have known you all their life.”
“Actually, I thought this event would be wrapping up by now.”
“Oh no! The evening crowd will probably be as big as the afternoon crowd was! You might well sign a thousand books by the time the signing is scheduled to be over at 7. Apparently our multi-media advertising campaign has paid off!”
“Yes, apparently so.” Travis wondered how much influence his article in ‘Whisperings’ Magazine had as well. Many of the customers commented about the report of the man in Peru who was ‘scared to death’ by his book. Apparently Jester had used that article in their advertising campaign.
“I think Brits are going to be hooked on your writing, after they read ‘The Relic’, and your second book will be a smash as well!”
“Let’s hope so.”
“So tomorrow you are to be in Manchester, for a two hour signing, from 12 till 2, at the Borders store there. You said that will fit your schedule?”
“Yes, our group is going out to see Stonehenge in the morning, and then on to Manchester by noon. After lunch, they will tour the Manchester Cathedral, which I have no desire to see, so that will work. Will you be there as well?”
“Would you like me to be?”
“It doesn’t matter to me. I was just asking a question.”
“No, I have business here in London, but your contact there will be a Mr. Dempsey. Perhaps you should write that down. He will meet you at the Borders store in Manchester.”
“Okay, Mr. Dempsey. And should I be there thirty minutes early?”
“It would be a good idea, though I don’t expect the crowds there, like you had here. Much of the crowd here today came to see the Queen, and stayed to buy your book, just because the Queen did so.”
“So I have not really attained rock star status?”
“Not hardly, though I must admit that I am surprised by the turnout so far. I am going back to your table, When you are ready, come on back and we will resume the signing.”
Travis finished the meal, made a brief stop at the men’s water closet, then returned to his table, to see that the line had once again formed all the way across the store. He sat down and resumed signing books.
He had signed thirty books when he recognized the person standing before him, though he couldn’t remember his name. It was the professor from Speaker’s Corner.
“Good evening, Mr. Lee! I tried to get a book signed this afternoon, but the line was intolerably long!”
“Yes, sorry about that.”
“No apology necessary. You appear to be doing quite well.”
“Professor Winthrop, right?”
“Yes, Rodney Winthrop. I can hardly wait to sit down and read your book. I have been reading the first chapter as I stood in line. Remember that you are invited to Benny’s Pub, when this is over. I will be there with my friends, until quite late.”
“I can’t promise that I’ll be there. My son might have other plans, but if not, I just might stop in for a while.”
“Wonderful! I hope you can make it!”
The next hour and a half flew by. The line never slacked up, and there were a lot of disappointed people when the store owner announced that he was cutting the line off at fifteen, but they had to draw the line somewhere, or else they would be there all night. Even so, it was almost eight when Travis signed the last book. He had cramps in his writing hand, as he got up from the table.
“Thank goodness it’s over!” he told Angel, as she finished her business with the store owner.
“A grueling ordeal?”
“No, not really. I enjoy the notoriety, but my hand is really tired.”
“A good sort of tired?”
> “Yes.”
“Well, rest it up before tomorrow, because it will be more of the same. In the meantime, I know what is very good therapy for a tired writing hand, as well as the whole body. A good long soak in the hot tub! It just so happens that I have one at my apartment!”
“Sorry, I can’t make it. Like I said, prior family commitments.”
“Oh poo! Once you return home, you can spend all the time you wish with your family! But you may be here only once! Wouldn’t you like to spend a little time with me?”
“I have spent most of the day with you already.”
“Only since two, and that is only six hours! Just give me two more hours of your time!”
“Can’t do it. Sorry.”
“At least let me drop you off at your hotel.”
“I can take the subway.”
“Oh mercy, no! Not this time of the evening. There are shady characters riding the subway at night!”
“Characters that are probably no more shady than those who offer you a ride to their hot tub!”
Angel smiled, but seemed a little hurt nonetheless. “Just a ride to your hotel, I promise. The ride is from Jester Books, not from me. I have an obligation to make sure you get safely to your hotel from one of our events.”
“Okay, since you put it that way, I’ll accept a ride.”
“The taxi should be here in a few minutes, after we have wrapped up things. Why don’t you mingle with the customers while I finish up. Perhaps sign a few more books?”
“I’m surprised that we didn’t run out of books.”
“No chance of that. We brought 1500 over here this morning, just for the book signing. We also sent a truck out to Manchester with a load, for your signing tomorrow. No chance we will run out, when a book is in such demand as yours. We don’t have a #1 bestseller every day, and we must take advantage of the demand, while it is there. I was impressed that the Queen came out. She almost never does that.”
Within ten minutes, they were standing on the curb, waiting for their taxi. She was still trying to persuade him to soak in her hot tub, as the taxi arrived. As he was getting out at his hotel, she reminded him to be at the book store in Manchester thirty minutes early, if possible. Then she was gone.