Even If You Don’t
By Kimberly Blake
© 2016 Kimberly Blake
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, businesses, or companies, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
Cover Design by Mayhem Cover Creations
Table of Contents
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Epilogue
Acknowledgements
Chapter 1
I’m going to die alone. At least that is what I’ve concluded after flirting with the hot bartender for the last 30 minutes while waiting for my best friend to show up. As soon as she slides into the seat next to me, it’s like I don’t exist to him. Of course, my BFF Charlotte is tall, blonde, and gorgeous. I barely come in at 5’1” and my long brown hair could definitely use some highlights. I look like a potato next to her. When not directly compared to someone as hot as my BFF, I can hold my own. I’m girl-next-door cute which isn’t always how I’d like to be viewed, but oh well. Maybe it’s my affinity for cardigans or my aversion to heels. I glance at Char’s strappy heels and then to my ballet flats. Yep, I’m blaming shoes for the fact that I’m going to die alone.
Maybe I should get a cat. Then I could complete my transition to crazy cat lady. I’m kind of off in my own little world with my musings at this point. Then Char punches me in the arm like we’re a couple of bros hanging out. I’m her only friend that’s a girl so I understand but it kind of hurts like a bitch, so I rub my arm. Char watches me and says, “Oh come on, Macy. I didn’t hit you that hard.”
“Ha!” I snort. “I’m pretty sure you left a bruise!” I start sarcastically calling out for ice, but of course, no one is paying attention to me. It’s the story of my life.
I glance around the nearly empty bar. It’s a dive really, with writing on the wall and the seat I’m in definitely has duct tape on it. Char mentions that it smells bad every time we come here but I don’t notice. For some reason, my sense of smell is terrible. I can’t smell good things or bad things unless the smell is really strong. You’d think this would mess with my sense of taste but it definitely doesn’t. Sometimes I wish it did because then I wouldn’t want to eat so much. I don’t mind the kind of gross vibe this place gives off, though, because their drinks are strong and delicious and that is all that matters.
Hot bartender ups his game with Charlotte and gives her a beer “on the house” because, well, of course, he does.
Char says a polite thank you while skillfully rebuffing his advances. Then she starts telling me about her day. She’s a nurse and always has the best patient stories. I work in marketing for an IT company so my stories aren’t quite as interesting.
I spot my brother, Dan, coming through the door. He sees us and makes a beeline for our section of the bar. He gives both of us a hug at the same time and greets us as if he hasn’t seen us in forever when in reality we saw him a couple days ago at the Astros baseball game. Dan is always like that, though. He is the golden child of the family. He’s full of life and is always happy. Even more so lately since he got engaged to Lauren, whom I’m not a huge fan of but, hey, it’s his choice. I try to stay out of other people’s lives since I obviously don’t have any business giving anyone advice.
Dan, looking ecstatic, says, “Please tell me you can take off work on short notice.” I’m immediately curious so instead of answering him I ask him why because that’s what’s important. He explains, “I’m getting married in Mexico and Lauren’s parents are paying for a private beach and a couple of condos for our friends during the stay.”
I may not like Lauren but I now have a great appreciation for her parents. Char doesn’t look as excited as me but I try not to think too far into it. Maybe she doesn’t have any vacation days left after her trip to Florida to see her Gran.
“We leave in two weeks and we’ll stay there for 10 days until the ceremony. After that, Lauren and I will stay another week by ourselves.”
I assure Dan that I can take off work and it shouldn’t be a big deal. I work two days from home anyway so I’m equipped to work remotely if I have to. I’m already daydreaming of the tan I’m going to get when Char interrupts my thoughts.
“I don’t think I’m going to make it!” She blurts this out as if she couldn’t stop herself. Dan knits his eyebrows together as if he’s trying to make sense of what she has said. He looks away, disappointed, but doesn’t say anything.
Char was Dan’s friend before she was even my friend. He’s the reason we’re even friends, to begin with. Dan met Char in college along with his two best guy friends and they’ve hung out as a group ever since. I went to Dan’s house to drop off some food Mom made him and they were all hanging out and invited me to stay, so I did. Charlotte and I hit it off and we’ve been friends ever since.
I want to press the matter but I figure I will talk to her about it later after Dan leaves. Just as I’m thinking that, she starts gathering her stuff, making excuses about having an early shift in the morning and needing to rest. We say our goodbyes and Dan takes her seat. He looks less enthusiastic than he did earlier. I bump his shoulder and say, “Buck up dude, you’re getting married in a couple of weeks!”
His smile is back and he starts telling me all about the place we’ll be staying. We’ll all stay at the condo with him while Lauren and her friends will stay at the second condo. Apparently, Lauren’s parents wanted there to be separate living accommodations, which is fine with me because I don’t particularly want to be around Lauren and her friends the entire time. Dan and Lauren will be living together soon enough, though. My brother just bought a huge house for them to move into after they get married. I’m pretty jealous of them. Not of their love, because I’m not all that sure their love is the stuff of fantasies, but I’m jealous of the house. I live in a really nice apartment, don’t get me wrong, but I would love to own a house. It doesn’t have to be big, but I want one in a nice neighborhood with a pretty backyard. Something older with some charm. Maybe with a yellow front door for some extra character. Oh, and a porch swing, I really want a porch swing. I mean, I haven’t given it that much thought but something along the lines of that would be nice to have.
Dan’s phone pings and he grimaces. According to him, he ignored one of Lauren’s texts earlier and she’s not too happy. He pastes on a smile and tells me he has to hit the road. I hug him goodbye and then face my margarita. Hot bartender is back but I’m having none of that. I settle my tab and grab my stuff to head home.
I walk into my apartment and flick the lights on. It’s quiet, of course. The only way it wouldn’t be is if there was an intruder which isn’t an appealing thought. I should definitely get a cat. Do cats make noise? I mean I know they meow but they also sleep like all the time right? I drop my keys on the counter and start stripping off my clothes. I drop them in the laundry basket in my room and change into my pajamas. Once I’m back in the kitchen, I grab a glass of wine and my iPad and head to the couch. As I’m about to start a new book on my Kindle app, my phone starts to blow up. The group text consists of Dan, Char, our friend Griff, who is like another brother, and last but not least, Eric. Eric is not like a brother to me. He is constantly trying to get in my pants and I’m constantly deflecting. He’s not really my favorite person. Eric was on one of those reality TV dating shows a couple of years ago and now he makes a living
hocking teeth whitener and detox tea on his social media accounts. He’s a douche canoe but my brother was friends with him before all of that and swears he’s still a good guy deep down. It must be really deep down because I haven’t seen anything appealing about him.
Everyone is texting about the trip and ragging on Charlotte for missing out. I’m pretty bummed that she won’t be coming to Mexico. I really don’t want to be the only girl in the condo and I’m certainly not going to stay with Lauren and her friends.
I start musing about what I’m going to pack. I haven’t been on a trip in a long time, and I can’t even remember if I have any luggage. I’ll have to stop by Target and pick up a suitcase along with some new bikinis for the trip. Then I start thinking about the trip and about how I’m so excited for authentic Mexican food and I start double guessing my need for bikinis. If I know myself, and I know me best, I’ll eat my weight in Mexican food, gain about 10 pounds, and go into a food coma. It’ll be super attractive I’m sure. I fall asleep on the couch with visions of tacos dancing through my head.
When I wake up the next morning, I’ve got a crick in my neck from sleeping on the couch. Not the best way to start the day, but it’s Saturday, so at least I’ve got that going for me. I take a quick shower and forgo washing my hair, because like I said, it’s Saturday. Ahh, dry shampoo, you are my one true love! I put my hair in a strategically messy bun. I dress in jeans shorts, a tank, and gladiator sandals. I stop at Target and get an iced coffee at the Starbucks inside the store. Best idea ever. I Snapchat Char a couple of the bikinis I am looking at to get her opinion. She sends me back a photo of her with a goofy smile and thumbs up. I notice she’s not wearing her scrubs in the photo and I wonder why she isn’t at work. I should be some type of investigator, I’ve got a keen eye. I’m curious why she would lie about it last night but I don’t ask. She’s been acting strange lately but won’t tell me anything. She says everything is fine and to drop it. So that’s what I do. Does that make me a bad friend? Maybe I should push. Yep, I should definitely push her about it. I want to be a good friend after all. I grab the swimsuits I was looking at and then head to the luggage section and pick up a new suitcase. I pick up a couple more things I need and check out.
My brother is having all of us over to his house today for a cookout. It’s kind of to say goodbye to his house before he moves to the new house. We’ve had a lot of good times in his current house. Pretty much all of us have lived there at one time or another, so it’s pretty bittersweet to say goodbye to it. He hasn’t sold it, yet but they are listing it next week once it’s empty. He’s already boxed up most of the rooms, but he left the game room and living room unpacked for the cookout. Dan would have been content living in that house forever, but Lauren didn’t want to live in a “frat house” as she so lovingly deemed it.
I think about changing before heading over to Dan’s house, but I really don’t feel like putting any effort into my look today. As I’ve mentioned, it’s Saturday. I drop my Target loot off at my apartment and grab a couple of bags of chips to take to the cookout. I deposit the chips into the passenger side of my Jetta. Yes, I drive a Jetta and I drink Starbucks. I admit that I’m a basic bitch. I went to a music festival last year and I wore a flower crown. I also like the dog filter on Snapchat, so sue me. I’m not ashamed to admit my high level of basicness. Charlotte, on the other hand, is my complete opposite and wouldn’t be caught dead in a flower crown, but she accepts me, basic bitch that I am.
I stop by Charlotte’s place to pick her up for the cookout. I’m also lazy, so instead of going in, I call her and tell her to get her ass outside. She proceeds to follow my instructions. She has decided to dress casually today too in a Patriot’s t-shirt with number 12 on the back, shorts, and converse. Her Tom Brady shirt is in heavy rotation in her wardrobe. She’s obsessed with Tom Brady because he’s an amazing quarterback. I’m obsessed with Tom Brady because he’s hot. Of course, she makes her outfit look hot somehow. While I still look like a potato. A cute potato, but still.
I’m not too worried about how I look today, though. I’m not going there to impress anybody. There won’t be anybody to impress! It’s the same people I hang out with every week. Our group is pretty tough to crack. Nobody’s girlfriends or boyfriends tend to last long with this group so it’s usually just the 5 of us, which I kind of prefer. Even though Dan and Lauren are engaged, she never hangs out with us. Unfortunately, she’ll be there today, though. Dan said she wants to join in the fun but I’m pretty sure she wants to supervise the fun and make sure we don’t damage the house before it goes on the market.
The radio is on Hits 1 on XM radio and Char is having none of that. She immediately changes it to the Lithium station that is, of course, playing a Nirvana song. We always fight over the radio because as I said earlier, we are opposites. We finally agree on the 90’s on 9 station. Everyone likes that station right? We jam out to Destiny’s Child until we get to Dan’s house. We go straight in because it’s my brother’s house and I don’t think I’ve ever knocked. No one is inside so we head straight for the back door assuming everyone is on the deck where the grill is. As soon as I walk outside, Griff puts me in a headlock and tries to make me smell his underarms. Gross. But it’s all part of the, “I’m the little sister” thing we have going on. To be honest, I had a huge crush on him when I first met him, but he always saw me as Dan’s kid sister so, in turn, I became his kid sister. Now I don’t know what I ever saw in him, but he is a lovable lug and a good surrogate big brother. Eric tries to pop me on my ass when I walk by but I jump out of the way just in time. I’m pretty sure he just does that crap to annoy me. And it does annoy me so he’s a success. I glance over at him and he’s taking a selfie to post to the ‘Gram as he refers to it.
As I’m about to sit down, I notice someone else sitting beside Eric. He looks a little shorter than Eric and a little skinnier but otherwise, they look so similar that I do a double take. I introduce myself because I’m curious about this intruder. “Hi, I’m Macy. I’m Dan’s sister. Who are you?” You didn’t think I had tact, did you? He chuckles and sticks out his hand for me to shake. Such nice manners from this one.
“I’m Parker. I’m Eric’s brother.” I try not to groan. There are two of them? How did I not know? Douche Canoe Jr. gives me a full on grin. He has nice teeth. That’s what I’m thinking as Eric clears his throat and pointedly eyes our hands that I’m still pumping up and down. I drop Parker’s hand and take my seat across from them. I’m sure my cheeks are bright red. Great, now I’m a tomato.
“I didn’t know there were two of you,” I address Eric.
“Sweetheart, there could never be another me. But my parents tried to replicate my greatness I suppose.”
Parker snorts at this which draws my attention. I see him roll his eyes. I start to think I may have jumped to conclusions. He may not be Douche Canoe Jr. We shall see. It’s too early to tell if he is or isn’t but I can tell that he’s very good looking. For all of Eric’s faults, he is an attractive man but I have to say I find myself more attracted to his brother, mainly because he hasn’t been an asshole yet, not necessarily because he looks better than Eric. That would be hard to do. I start to daydream of all the potential Parker has and that’s when I see Charlotte making her way over to us. I know that my chances are going from maybe to nada. I love her but man, she’s a cockblock, in the lady sense. What would that be? I don’t know, I’ll get back to you on that. She sits down beside me and apparently she already knows Parker. They met years ago before I joined our friend group, she explains. Now I feel a little left out. How did I not know this beautiful specimen existed before now? Someone should have informed me. I realize they’re carrying on a conversation and I’m not paying attention, so I start listening.
I catch Parker saying, “Yeah, I just moved out here. I got a job coaching the high school football team in the fall, so I wanted to get settled this summer.” I envy his job. He gets the summer off. It’s the end of May so he s
till has a couple of months before his new job starts. I’m trying to think of something witty to say to insert myself into the conversation, but I’ve got nothing. I do notice that Parker isn’t drooling over Charlotte. This is a first. Maybe he’s gay. That would be okay, I could use a GBF. I start thinking of how he could go shopping with me and Char and we could have sleepovers and talk about guys together when I notice his eyes on my boobs. Okay so maybe he’s not gay. I do have nice boobs, I must admit. Maybe they’ve turned him straight. I did have an ex-boyfriend that called them magical.
As I’m pondering the magical powers of my boobs, Char’s elbow jabs me right in the left boob. That hurt. I hope she didn’t do any permanent damage. These babies are important.
I realize she’s talking to me. I really need to start paying attention.
“Macy, weren’t you saying earlier that you needed to grab something from the car?”
I stare blankly, “Uhh.. yes?”
I look to Char for some type of confirmation and she nods her head slightly so I continue.
“Yes, yes I was. Excuse us, boys, we’ll be back in a minute.”
We stand up and quickly make our way back out front to the car.
“What was that about?” Char just looks at me like I’ve lost my marbles. “Are you blind as well as deaf? Parker was totally into you and you were ignoring everything he said. I’m also pretty sure he’s got a thing for your boobs.” I mentally berate myself for not paying attention to the conversation. “You’ve got to get your head in the game,” she tells me.
“Okay, I can do that. He is really hot, don’t you think? I mean, definitely hotter than Eric.” Okay, so that may be an exaggeration, but I don’t like to focus on Eric’s looks when his winning personality is what he’s really got going for him. I speak fluent sarcasm if you’re not aware.
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