Parker: I’ll take your silence as a no.
Parker: I know I should chill with the messages but could you maybe respond?
Parker: I take it back!
I’m blushing and on the verge of giggling as I read the messages. Ugh, he’s so cute! How is Eric’s brother this adorable? If they didn’t have such a strong resemblance, I wouldn’t believe they were related at all.
Me: Don’t take it back! I’m sorry I didn’t respond, I was eating with my family.
Me: And by eating with my family, I mean I was eating and they were all picking on me because that’s the way it goes in my family.
Me: Yes, I’d like to eat somewhere with you.
Me: I mean, not right now because I resemble a stuffed sausage in my Spanx.
Me: that was TMI.
Me: Are you avoiding me now?
Me: It makes sense if you are. I totally get it. Not surprised really.
Me: I’m going to shut up now.
Parker: I just wanted to see how long you’d go without a response. ;)
Me: Very funny, not. So…
Parker: So…
Parker: Do you want to grab a bite to eat tomorrow night?
Me: Yes!
I text Char and tell her that we’ll have to reschedule drinks to later in the week because I have a hot date. Go me! My face hurts from smiling so much. Then there’s a knock on the window of my car and I jump. Dan is standing there looking at me like I’m a puzzle. I roll my window down to talk to him.
“Why are you sitting out here in your car smiling like an idiot? And who are you texting?”
“I’m texting Char.” He looks like he’s about to argue about that. Again, it’s technically true. I did just text her. I stop him before he can say anything and I go ahead and tell him about my date.
“But I’m smiling because I’ve got a date with Parker tomorrow night. Thank you very much.” My brother starts laughing as if this is just the funniest thing in the world. It’s not that funny. It’s a very normal thing for a hot guy to ask me out. It happens all the time. Okay, so maybe not all the time, but still. It shouldn’t cause that much laughter.
“It all makes sense now. He was asking if Charlotte was single last night.” My stomach drops when I hear that. Of course, he was asking about Charlotte. I only thought that for once I wasn’t overlooked. I’m all woe is me in my head and then I realize that Dan is still talking.
“Which is weird because he knows she is single and she’s not his type anyways. Then he asks about you like it was an afterthought. You know, he just slipped it into the conversation, playing it real cool. Now I get it. He was really just wondering about you all along.” I perk up a tad at this revelation. I don’t know that I totally believe him. However, Char is single, so if he was interested in her, wouldn’t he have texted her and asked her out instead of me?
“So, do you think I should go out with him? He asked about tomorrow night.” I ask, even though I’ve already agreed to the date and there’s no way in hell I’m going to miss it.
“Yeah, Parker is a good dude.” Not for the first time, I wonder how he could possibly be related to Eric but this time, I voice my opinion aloud.
“How can he share DNA with Eric and be a decent person?”
Dan is always one to defend his friends even though he rags on them just as hard. “I’d say Parker is a lot like Eric was… you know before he got dumped on national tv.” I don’t feel bad for Eric per se but I do wonder if he would be a lot more tolerable if he hadn’t gone on that tv show.
I tell Dan bye. He tells me to keep it in my pants tomorrow night. I proceed to flip him off as I drive away.
Chapter 3
Monday morning comes way too soon. I stayed up late last night worrying about what to wear and what to say and how to act. I ended up making a list of conversation starters in the notes app on my phone. I’ll just pretend to check my messages if I need a prompt. It’s super nerdy, but I don’t care. I always have lots of things to say in my head but sometimes they don’t translate to actual conversation well. Or if I’m really lucky, all the things I don’t mean to say aloud are the ones that come out of my mouth in what I like to refer to as word vomit. I’m a real catch if you can’t tell.
I don’t have a uniform for work but I guess I’ve kind of created my own for the days that I go into the office. I wear a cardigan with a simple sun dress and I finish off the look with a pair of ballet flats. I have a closet full of cardigans and every color is represented at least twice. I’m one of those people that if I like something, I buy it in every color, and then I buy backups. I don my yellow cardigan over a white dress with black flowers. I add a pair of black ballet flats and simple jewelry. I look like a kindergarten teacher. Not that there is anything wrong with that. My friend, Paige, is a kindergarten teacher and she’s great. It’s just that I don’t look sexy, which is fine for work. But what makes it not so great is that I get stuck in traffic leaving work, and I don’t have time to go home and change before meeting Parker. So my hair is flat, my makeup is not in the best shape, and I’m dressed like a conservative school teacher. My boobs don’t even look good in this outfit; you can’t even see them!
I make it to the restaurant with five minutes to spare. I take those five minutes to work some magic on my face. By that I mean, I wet my finger with my spit and rub them under my eyes to get rid of the eyeliner that is making me look like I slept in my makeup. Which is kind of what I did during my lunch break. Since I skipped lunch to take a much-needed nap, I am starving! I’m day dreaming of the food I’m going to order when there is a tap at my window. I open my eyes and lift my head from the headrest and expect to see Parker but instead I see his brother. I’m confused and I kind of want to ignore him but he’s standing at my door, so I go ahead and get out of my car.
“What’s up, Eric? What are you doing here?” I ask, while silently praying he isn’t crashing my date.
“I’m here to see you, why else? Nice get-up. You know cardigans turn me on.” Eric winks and gives me one of his panty-melting grins that would have any normal person turned on but it only irritates me more, so I just roll my eyes and ignore his comment.
“Where is Parker?” I ask as I glance around the parking lot.
“He’s at the truck. He had to take a phone call and told me to go ahead and find you so you wouldn’t have to wait,” Eric explains. That was nice of Parker to not want me to wait, but I’m still confused as to why Eric is with us. Just as I’m about to pose my question again about why he is here, Parker jogs up to us.
“You guys ready to eat?” He asks this like we don’t have a third wheel on our date, and this was what we planned all along. That is when it hits me. This isn’t a date. He never specifically said it was and I just assumed. This is one of those facepalm moments that happen all too often in my life. The worst thing that could have happened, has happened. I’ve been friend-zoned.
I’m suddenly very happy that I’m dressed as I am and my boobs aren’t on display. He doesn’t deserve the eye candy. Neither of them do.
We start to head towards the restaurant and Eric smacks my butt. I’m already not in the best mood and this doesn’t help me any. I swear the guy can’t keep his hands to himself. Parker doesn’t seem bothered by it at all. But then again, why would he? Apparently, we’re just friends and he has no romantic interest in me. This blows. I was going to forgo the hot wings tonight and go for something less messy and a little more appealing. I’ve got no one to impress now, so I’ve already mentally placed my order for a plate of messy bone-in hot wings. At least one good thing will come out of this. I smile to myself as my stomach announces its desire for those hot wings.
We walk into the restaurant, which is more of a sports bar. There are banners and memorabilia on the wall of all the major football teams, as well as local sports teams. I should have seen the signs of this non-date. He never said it was a date, so that should have been the first sign. I guess I just got caught up in th
e whole “a cute boy likes me” aspect of it. When in reality, we’re at a sports bar hanging out with his brother. Totally not a date.
Once we’re inside and seated at a high-top table, the waitress comes over for the drink order. I decide to go with a margarita on the rocks. I’m typically a happy drunk so I figure if I have a few margaritas I won’t be in such a shitty mood. Once she’s back with our drinks, I place my wing order and start anticipating that spicy goodness that is coming my way.
The three of us have been making small talk all this time and it’s been very dull. Maybe that’s a good thing. Maybe Parker is boring. That would make it easier to not be attracted to him. As I study his profile, I amend that thought. He has dark hair that’s a little shaggy. Not as unkempt as Eric’s but it’s very similar. He’s got a five-o’clock shadow that I’d love to run my hands over. Parker turns my way and directs his emerald eyes on me. He gives me a grin that makes me swoon. Apparently, that grin runs in the Hasting’s family but I’m only affected by this one at the moment. My face turns scarlet because he just caught me checking him out, and since I’m in the friend-zone that’s a little embarrassing.
As I finish off my drink and start on my second, I decide to make it my mission to get over this little crush I’ve acquired. Since he just moved here and he is Eric’s brother, I assume he’ll be around for a lot of our get-togethers. Then again, I might not be around for them. Lauren obviously has some issue with me. I love my brother more than anything, so I don’t want to cause problems in his relationship. I decide that I’ll back off for a while and try harder to be nice to Lauren when I do see her. I’m starting to get slightly depressed when I think about how we won’t be hanging out at Dan’s house every weekend. Even if Lauren didn’t have a problem with me, it’s more than obvious that the new house won’t be our gathering place. Dan is a little whipped. He never really stands up for himself, at least not in that relationship. I guess my melancholy is obvious because Eric nudges my knee with his and asks what’s wrong. I’m a little taken back that he didn’t just make a joke. He actually looks concerned for me. So I go for honesty rather than deflection.
“I was just thinking about Dan’s wedding. I mean, I’m super pumped about the trip to Mexico and I’m happy that he’s happy. But, I’m just going to miss the cookouts, game nights, pool parties, and especially Friendsgiving.” Every year we get together at Dan’s house for Thanksgiving and we eat until we want to puke, we watch football, and then we all decorate the Christmas tree. The Christmas tree decorating part is Char’s fault. Her apartment isn’t really big enough for a tree so a few years ago she made Dan get one for his house. Then she forced everyone to help decorate and it’s become a tradition. The guys use to complain but now they actually look forward to it.
Eric looks confused, “Why are you going to miss it? We’ll still have all those things?”
“No, we won’t,” I reply. “Lauren is not going to allow that stuff at the new house.”
Eric laughs, “Of course she won’t.” He shakes his head. “I forgot that you left the cookout early. We discussed all of this after you and Char left. Lauren went to sleep because of a migraine, so it was just the guys. We were all pretty bummed about the same thing you’re concerned about, but then I just decided that we’d have all those things at my house.”
To say I’m shocked would be an understatement. In all the time that I’ve known Eric, I’ve never been to his house. I’m also pretty sure Dan and Griff have only been there once and that was when he moved in because they helped him. For Eric’s life to be so public, he really likes his privacy.
“That’s… really nice.” Since I’m not too comfortable with him being nice I decide to make a joke because when in doubt, go for laughs. “I can’t believe you’re going to allow us to invade your den of sin.”
Parker snorts at this and I realize that I forgot he was even here. Points for me for handling the friend-zone like a champ. I’m finishing up my second margarita and looking around for the waitress so I can get another one. I decide I’ll have to get an Uber to take me home because there’s no way I’m driving tonight.
Eric laughs but it doesn’t seem genuine. Maybe I’ve actually offended him. I don’t really know for sure that he’s the manwhore I assume him to be. He has a large following of females on his social media accounts and I guess I equate that to him being a ladies’ man. When I think about it, though, he hasn’t really dated much since the show. I start to feel guilty about my comment and my assumptions but I blame my feelings on my alcohol intake.
Luckily, the food arrives and not a moment too soon. Let the feast begin. I start on my wings and Parker stares at me like I’m an endangered species. Eric has seen me eat wings a million times so he doesn’t bat an eye. Since I’m not trying to impress Parker anymore, the fact that he’s staring at me doesn’t phase me. Not much anyways. I do try not to make so much of a mess, though. I don’t want to scare the poor guy.
I groan, “These wings taste like heaven.” Eric got wings too and he nods his head in agreement. He holds up a wing to toast with mine. It makes me laugh so I toast him with my hot wing. Parker is eating his burger and looking at us curiously. I decide he’s just jealous because he doesn’t have wings.
We start talking about the trip to Mexico. It’ll be here soon so we don’t have much time to prepare. Apparently, I missed some other conversations from the cookout too. Since Charlotte isn’t going, Parker is going to go in her place. This is an exciting turn of events. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still bummed that Char is skipping out, and I’m definitely going to make some hail mary pleas to get her to go. But if anything can get me out of the friend-zone, it’s a vacation where I’ll be in a bikini and alcoholic beverages will be aplenty. So with renewed hope, I start to focus on Parker rather than Eric, who I belatedly realize I’ve been talking to most of the night.
I talk to Parker about his hobbies which are hiking, canoeing, and pretty much anything outdoorsy. He even plays on an adult softball team. None of these things interest me, but I decide I can fake it, so I ask questions about everything. Eric has known me for a long time so he’s not buying my interest in the least. I ignore his pointed eye rolls.
Dinner is winding down, so I get my phone out to pull up the Uber app. I’m way too buzzy to get behind the wheel. Safety first, kids. Parker notices what I’m doing and tells me he’ll just take me home. It’s then that I realize he and Eric are both sober. They didn’t even order a drink.
After we pay for our meals and head to the parking lot, Parker has a brilliant idea… not.
He snaps his fingers, “Eric should drive your car and I’ll just follow you guys in my truck. That way you don’t have to come pick up your car tomorrow.”
Of course, this solves my problem of having to get my car tomorrow but I’m not so thrilled at the prospect of having Eric drive me home. Why can’t Parker drive me home?! Now that would have been a brilliant idea.
I’m not even sure that Eric would want to do that, douche-canoe that he is. But he surprises me once again tonight by readily agreeing. Not one complaint from him. He’s being so weird tonight. Maybe I should ask him about it on our drive home? That might make it even weirder, though. Drunk Macy doesn’t care though so I’ve already made up my mind to ask what his deal is tonight.
Once we’re in the car, I get a little nervous. I don’t know why. I’ve been around Eric a lot in the last few years, yet we haven’t been alone too many times. He starts leaning towards me and I start internally freaking out.
I mean, he hits on me all the time, but I always assume he’s joking and trying to get on my nerves. Is he trying to kiss me right now? Will I let him kiss me? No, I won’t, but I still can’t look at anything but his lips and I start to close my eyes when I realize he’s reaching around me. What is he doing? Then I hear a click and realize he has just buckled me in like I’m a child.
I’m flushed; I can feel my heated cheeks. I tell myself that it’s from embarrassme
nt and not because I’m slightly turned on. His face was inches from mine. You’d be turned on too if this happened to you because he has a nice face. And his lips look as soft as pillows. I start thinking about how nice it would be to run my hands through his already messy hair. Then common sense kicks in and I snap myself out of my lusty thoughts. Luckily, it’s too dark for him to notice my red face.
I don’t want to sit in awkward silence the whole ride home and I remember that I wanted to ask him something earlier, so I jump on that train of thought so I can stop fantasizing about grabbing him and kissing him. Because that’s where my mind keeps veering.
“Why are you being weird tonight?” I stare at him and will my mind not to go on a tangent, as it tends to do.
He chuckles at this. It wasn’t funny so I don’t know why he’s laughing. “I wasn’t being weird.” Then he turns an accusing eye on me, “What’s wrong with you tonight? You don’t even like physical activity and you were acting all interested in Parker’s hobbies. Which happen to require physical activity and they are all outdoors, which you also don’t like. The only time you like to be outside is when you’re by a pool getting a tan.”
“I was being nice,” I bite out.
“You were being fake.” He shoots back. He’s kind of right but I was trying to be nice too.
“I expected more from you.” He says this quietly as if he’s not even talking to me.
I immediately take offense to that.
“That’s rich, coming from you! You act fake all the time. At least I hope it’s fake, and you’re not really that much of an asshole. But now that I think about it, it’s probably all real.” Now I’m flushed because I’m angry. “You don’t get to expect anything from me. And trust me, I’ll never expect anything from you.”
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