by Lilli Feisty
After they’d finished half their meals he topped off her wineglass. He then broke off another piece of chocolate and placed it on her tongue.
He took a sip of wine but didn’t swallow. Then he leaned in and kissed her, letting the wine spill into her mouth. Her body slackened as she swallowed, and he pulled back to look into her eyes.
Her lids fluttered open slowly. He sucked in a breath. She was so fucking turned on, he could see it in the deep blue of her eyes; he could see everything there.
And it was too much. There was a sense of urgency thrumming through his veins, and he couldn’t ignore it. He wasn’t sure if it was the time restraint or just being with her that did him in, and at the moment it really didn’t matter. All that mattered was being inside Ruby making her his. Now.
Running the pad of his finger over the back of her hand, he felt her tremble. “Ruby. I want you to go into the bathroom and get yourself ready for me.”
Her gaze darted around the room quickly before landing back on his.
“Go on now, baby. I want you.”
“You want me to what?”
“Any way I can have you. Now, hurry.”
Her mouth twitched in a hidden smile. “Yes, Mark.”
Yes, Mark. Every time she said that the throbbing in his cock jumped up a notch. And his hammering heart did, too.
“Go into the bathroom and lift up your skirt. Take off your panties. Then touch yourself, masturbate until you are about to come. But don’t.”
She narrowed her eyes, and he saw how badly she wanted to come. Needed to come. He watched the flush on her cheeks spread to her upper chest, saw her glance dart down the hallway to where the restrooms were. She didn’t need much more encouragement.
“Go.”
One last glance at him and she slid out of the booth, taking her purse with her. He watched her walk away.
Running a hand over his scalp, he tried to be patient. He imagined Ruby in the bathroom, her skirt hiked up to her waist, her hand between her legs. She’d be wet, on edge within minutes. He’d made sure of it.
She wasn’t the only one on edge.
He took another few sips of wine; they hadn’t even finished half a bottle, but he didn’t care about the wine. He just wanted to be with Ruby. With her. Inside her.
Instead he stared out the window at the sailboats bobbing on the bay. Waited for his erection to subside so he could actually walk through the dining room without scaring people.
The bill hadn’t arrived, but he threw a wad of cash on the table and stood. His heart thudded as he made his way down a carpeted hallway. There were two unisex bathrooms, and he knocked softly on the first door.
“Ruby?” he murmured.
A second later the door popped open. He stepped inside and turned the lock. Her back was to him, and she was bent over, her legs spread wide. Her beautiful pussy glistened, waiting. For him.
“Goddamn, Ruby. You’re…” He trailed off. She was too good for words.
Her hair hung loose around her face as she glanced over her shoulder. “I did what you said, Mark. I masturbated, but I didn’t let myself come. I waited for you, but I can’t wait much longer.”
He jerked a condom out of his pocket and tugged his jeans down. “I’m here, I’m right here.” Wrapping his hands around her hips, he pulled her to him. He entered her in a smooth, slippery motion that made her cry out. With her head thrown back, her hair draped nearly to her waist. He wrapped the length in his fist, tugged gently, and she moaned.
He withdrew and slid in, again and again, until she was begging, crying out, meeting his thrusts with a jarring force, as if she couldn’t get it deep enough, hard enough.
“Yeah, baby. Perfect; you’re perfect. Just like that.”
She shuddered, and he wasn’t in control anymore, not of her, not of himself. He slid in one final time, losing himself totally in his own climax.
He caught his breath and pulled out of her. His hands shook as he stripped the condom off and threw it into the trash can. Yanking up his boxers and his jeans, he turned to her.
“Ruby, I’m sorry.”
She was still hanging over the sink, her skirt pulled up to reveal her smooth ass. Grinning, she glanced back at him, a glossy, satisfied look in her eyes. “What are you sorry for?”
He removed his glasses and rubbed them with the hem of his T-shirt. “I rushed things… I just couldn’t hold back.”
Straightening, she turned to face him and pulled down her skirt. “I don’t want you to hold back.”
He shook his head. “You don’t understand.”
Reaching out, she touched his shoulder. “I do. You don’t have to be in control every second, all the time.”
He met her gaze. “What are you talking about?”
She crossed her arms over her chest. “Now it’s my turn to give you the psychological profile. This control thing of yours? It’s how you stay disconnected.”
“I’m not disconnected.” How could she say that? He’d never felt so connected to anyone in his life.
She laughed wryly. “Are you kidding? Ever since that day you opened up in my kitchen, you’ve been distant. I asked you about the future and it scared you.”
He just stared at her, knowing she was right. Because when he saw Ruby, he saw a future, and it made everything inside him clench whenever he thought about it.
She went on. “You say this controlling dom persona is who you are, but I’m wondering if it’s just a pretense.”
“I know a few girls who can vouch that this dom persona is no act, doll.”
“See? You can’t even settle on an endearment. ‘Baby, sweetheart, doll.’ It’s all the same.”
His body stiff, he took a step closer to her. “I’ve never claimed to be some kind of saint.”
She met him head-on. “Oh, that’s for sure. And isn’t that the beauty of being a dom? It’s the perfect excuse to love ’em and leave ’em. Shit, you even have a verbal contract before you do the deed, don’t you? It’s called negotiating, and you’re damn good at it.”
“You’re wrong.” But her words hit home. Because the thing was, when he was with her, it was easy to let go. There were no parents to pacify, no music to write, no manager pushing for a better hook.
And Ruby. She was different. For the first time in a long time, he could let his guard down. Be himself. She didn’t care if he was in control or not. She didn’t care if he was in a band. She just seemed to like him for who he was: Mark St. Crow, a band geek from Akron with a fetish for spanking women.
Which meant he could really fall for her.
He felt his cell phone vibrating in his back pocket. Glad for the distraction, he pulled it out and flipped it open.
“Yeah,” he said into the phone.
“Where the fuck are you?” Yvette demanded.
He turned away from Ruby’s vulnerable eyes. “Out. What’s up?”
“Oh, I’m just kicking back with a reporter from the San Francisco Review. You know? The biggest entertainment paper in northern California? The one who’s supposed to be interviewing us right fucking now?”
“Shit!” Mark hit the wall with the side of his fist. “What time am I supposed to be there?”
“An hour ago.”
“Goddamn it. Okay, stall him. Tell him I hit traffic, anything.”
“I did. But you have fifteen minutes to get here, so move your ass. Now.”
He clicked his phone shut and faced Ruby, who was looking at him as if she’d expected this all along. The disappointment in her gaze made his entire chest ache. And yet, something in him was glad for the reason to bolt. “Listen,” he said. “Can we finish this conversation later? Right now I need to get over to the studio.”
She nodded. “Go. It’s your job. I understand.” He knew she wasn’t just saying the words; she was a businesswoman, who did understand.
He tucked in his T-shirt. “I’ll get you a cab.”
“It’s okay.” She waved away his protest.
“Seriously,” she said, pulling a hairbrush out of her purse. “I’d rather not leave the bathroom with you anyway. Who knows who might see us?”
“Crap.” He hadn’t even thought of that. She’d turned to the mirror, and he kissed the back of her head. “I’ll call you later.”
Meeting his eyes in their reflection, she smiled. But it was a shaky smile, and her eyes looked closed off. She was shutting him out. “It’s probably best if you don’t, actually.”
“Why?”
Her eyes were sad, and it was so much worse than if she’d been pissed. She waved her hand around the bathroom. “This is why. I can’t do this. We both know your music has to come first. It should come first, and even though I know you have to focus on your music, I can’t help wishing that I was just as important to you. But I’m not—no one can be. So please, just go. It’s for the best.”
He stared at her and, just for a second, he wondered if maybe she was right. Because at that moment he wanted to ignore the interview and stay with Ruby. For the first time in his life, he considered putting something—someone—before his music.
Silently, he turned on his heel and walked out the door.
Chapter
Eighteen
She was lacing her boots when the call bell rang. Who would be stopping by at nine-thirty on a Saturday morning? Not Mark. She hadn’t heard from him since they’d parted ways at Ghirardelli Square, and she didn’t expect to. It was probably some kids walking by the building who thought it was clever to push buttons as they meandered up the block.
Ignoring the ringing, she pulled a sweater over her head, having decided to spend the day at Golden Gate Park. The grounds always calmed her, and for some reason she felt the need to lose herself in the spring gardens.
She trotted down the stairs and pushed through her building’s front door. The sun was shockingly bright, and she began digging through her purse, looking for her sunglasses. They were always buried at the bottom—
“So you’re home.”
Her mouth went dry. She knew that voice, but it couldn’t be…
She looked up and her stomach dropped. “Ash? W–what are you doing here?”
Her gaze skimmed over him. It had been over a year since she’d seen him, but of course he looked as gorgeous as ever. Thin, with shaggy blond hair and a light beard stubble that gave him that perfect artsy photographer look. It was even more irritating that the whole thing came so naturally to him. He simply forgot to cut his hair, and he couldn’t be bothered to shave. He’d been in the Navy, and he’d always said it was a great pleasure to not have to worry about his appearance after he was discharged. And that was all he’d ever said about his military experience. Whatever the reason, the look worked well for him, and the stack of broken hearts he left behind was proof enough of that.
His eyes bored into hers, like they always had. “I came to talk with you.”
She smoothed her bangs, tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. For some reason he’d always made her self-conscious, more aware of her appearance than she normally was. “Good, because I wanted to talk to you, too.”
He quirked a brow. “Oh? About what?”
“The photographs you sold. I thought we agreed that you wouldn’t do that.” She tried to keep the hurt out of her voice.
Scanning her face, his brow narrowed. “Which photographs?”
It was as she’d thought. He’d simply forgotten. She shrugged. “Never mind.”
Ash reached out and touched her arm. “No, you’re upset. Which photographs?”
“There were a few you took of me when we were, um, together. I wanted them, but you said they were your favorite pieces—so I let you keep them if you promised never to sell them.”
Shaking his head, he let out a deep breath. “Oh, fuck. Yeah, my intern—”
“You have an intern?” She couldn’t help laughing at the thought of Ash being in charge of shaping young minds.
He grinned, too. “Don’t laugh. I’m teaching a class at SFSU this semester, and it’s part of the deal. Anyway, my intern was taking a bunch of my work to various galleries, and he must have dropped those off by mistake. I’ll get them back, I promise.”
What twist of fate had landed those pieces in Mark’s hands? She shook her head. “No, it’s fine. I’m just glad you didn’t purposefully sell them.”
“Are you sure? Because I can call the gallery right now.”
“No. It’s fine.” She didn’t mention that the pieces had already been sold. “Just make sure no other nude photos of me are out there, will you?”
“Yeah, of course.”
“So, what did you want to talk to me about?” she asked.
He leaned against the building and stared at her. “I wanted to apologize for not showing up at Emmett’s party a few weeks ago.”
She blinked. “Really?”
“You look surprised,” he said.
“I am. You’ve never apologized for anything a day in your life.”
“I know how hard you work, Ruby, and I’m sorry I flaked. I got distracted with a shoot.”
“Not surprising,” she said with a laugh.
“I said I’m sorry, and I mean it.”
She put a finger to his lips. “If only you were this apologetic when you were cheating on me.”
He flinched. “I told you. That was a big misunderstanding.”
Sighing, she raised her gaze to meet his. “Ash. I haven’t seen you in over a year. Yeah, you flaked, but there’s nothing new about that. So, tell me. What’s going on?”
“Ruby, here’s the thing.” He lifted her hand, drew a circle around her wrist. Except, in bondage terms, her arm was a column to him, a thing to be tied. “I want you to model for me.”
“What?”
“Model for me again.”
He always had such an intense way of looking at her. She used to think it was sexy, and she was surprised to discover the look did absolutely nothing for her anymore.
“I have this idea for a scene, and I really think you would be the best model.”
“Why me?”
His green eyes gave her body a quick once-over, an assessment she knew was purely an automatic response. “Yours is still my favorite form to photograph. Your body. Your ass.” He grinned. “Your body was made to be photographed, and you, Ruby, were made to be bound.”
She couldn’t help the flicker that went through her at his words. And yet her mind went to Mark, and she thought about the way he’d bound her with his belt. It would seem crude to a purist like Ash, but now Ruby found she preferred the raw, open energy she had with Mark to Ash’s methodical technique.
And yet…
“I’ll think about it.” She remembered exactly how the soft rope had felt on her skin. She recalled the way Ash had so skillfully restrained her with his beautiful knot work. Hours and hours they’d spent together as he silently and expertly covered her in his complex artistry. There was so much trust involved in that.
“Ash, can I ask you something?”
His stare was unwavering. “’Course.”
“Did you stay with me for so long because you loved me, or was it because of how I looked in your photographs?”
He looked uncharacteristically tense, took too long to answer. He ran a hand over his head, and she saw that his long fingers trembled slightly. “I wish I knew, Ruby. I… It’s hard for me to tell the difference.”
She saw the raw honesty in his eyes, and for the first time, she was worried about the infallible artist.
She remembered the way he’d go into an almost trancelike state when he bound her. Moving like he was one with his rope, with a total grace she’d found beautiful. He’d always check her skin, assess her comfort level; he was good and responsible.
But he had a way of disconnecting from her as he carried out his task. Something she’d never realized until she experienced the electric connection she had with Mark. Maybe that lack of connection was actually getting to Ash.
Reaching out, she touched his arm. “Thank you for being honest with me.”
She noticed lines around his eyes that hadn’t been there before and realized he was thinner than she’d ever seen him. Everything about him seemed strained.
“Oh, pardon me!”
The door to Ruby’s building flew open, crashing into Ash’s shoulder. He whipped around to see who had burst through the door. “What the—oh…”
Ruby’s red-haired downstairs neighbor, Joy, stared at them, her hand over her mouth. “Oh my God! I am so sorry. Are you okay?”
He looked more than fine. With an intense expression that Ruby recognized, he was staring at Joy. Finally, he shook the look off his face. “Yeah, thanks. Are you?”
“I’m not the one who got slammed with a two-ton door.” Joy’s eyes were full of concern. Well, they would be. Ruby’s neighbor was one of the nicest people she knew; her name described her perfectly.
Her petite neighbor continued to stare at Ash. Most women did. “You’re sure you’re okay?”
Ruby observed as Ash continued a stilted conversation with Joy. Interesting. Her neighbor was beautiful, but to put it frankly, she wasn’t Ash’s type. Just over five feet tall, she was shorter than Ruby and had actual breasts. And hips. Curves. And yet Ash studied her with a look Ruby knew very well. She rolled her eyes inwardly. Maybe he hadn’t changed after all.
“Okay, well… I guess I’ll be going.” Joy gave a little wave, her gaze still locked on Ash’s. “Bye.”
After Joy had gone, Ruby turned back to Ash and noticed the way he clenched his jaw. “Ash, are you okay?”
He stared over her shoulder for a moment. “Yeah… I’m fine. I’ll be better if I can get this shot done. Would you help me?”
He wouldn’t rest until he saw his vision developing in a dark room, and for the first time ever, Ruby felt sorry for him.
“I’ll think about it, all right?” The fact was, being bound did sound appealing, and it wasn’t as if she had any reason to say no. If it wasn’t as exciting as with Mark, at least it was familiar.