He swooped down, moving with what he hoped was blinding speed to grab her underwear and ball it in his fist. Blood rushed to his head. His face was on fire. “I’ll be back in a few minutes,” he rasped before rushing for the door.
It took a moment for his eyes to adjust to the night, and he thought she’d just run off into the darkness, panty-less and disoriented. But there she was, standing frozen at the bottom of his driveway, staring down the sidewalk toward the next intersection.
“Lauren.”
Turning toward his approach, she shook her head. “I can’t believe that happened.”
“Yeah.”
“I’m so sorry. Your daughter...”
Jake cringed, but he tried to smile. “If it makes you feel better, she was telling me this morning that I needed to get out and date. So maybe I’m just good at taking advice?”
Her laugh was slightly more natural, but it definitely ended in a little hiccup of horror. He felt exactly the same himself.
“Will you still let me give you a lift home?” he asked.
“I’d better. A walk of shame is really the only thing that could make this worse.”
His heart fell a little. It was terrible. Awful. Undeniably awkward. But he’d kind of hoped that Lauren would tell him it wasn’t as bad as he thought.
But she looked as miserable as he felt as he unlocked the truck and opened the door for her.
When he got in, they sat quietly in the close cocoon of the truck for a moment. He didn’t know what to say. Didn’t know if they should forget this ever happened or vow to try it again. Hell, he didn’t even know which of those he wanted at this point. He was torn between never seeing her again and asking if he could take her home and spend a naked, sweaty night in her bed.
He gave up trying to figure it out and handed Lauren her panties.
Clutching them, she stared down at her white-knuckled hand. “She called me Mrs. Foster.”
“I know,” he said miserably. There wasn’t much to add after that.
Chapter Five
LAUREN COULDN’T BELIEVE she had to go into work. That she had to get out of her car and walk across the parking lot and into the building. The same building where Jake worked. And not just Jake, but Kevin, who’d witnessed her shame last night. And not just Kevin, but Sophie, who’d want to know every detail of the hot hookup.
Lauren groaned and let her head fall back on the headrest. Maybe she should return home and call in sick.
“I’m sorry,” she said to the roof of her car, “I can’t come in today, because I came all over the fire captain’s hand last night, and then his daughter walked in and realized her dead mother’s friend is a loose woman with no morals.”
Oh, God. It was almost tragically funny. Or it would have been if everything leading up to that moment hadn’t been searingly perfect. The chemistry made it that much more painful.
Jake’s body had felt even better than it looked. He was all hot skin and flexing muscle and soft hair. And he smelled so damn good. Her mouth watered at the memory of the taste of him.
She wanted more. So much more. Starting with that thick cock she’d gotten her hand around for such a brief moment.
Lauren squeezed her eyes shut and moaned in sorrow. She’d be haunted by that memory for the rest of her life, because it was never going to happen again. She’d never get to see him naked or taste his cock or feel him deep inside her.
You’re so fucking wild.
She was. Or she wanted to be. But not with Jake. Not with a man who was used to someone nicer. Look what she’d already done to him. Tempted him into disaster right in front of his daughter and one of his men.
She waited until the parking lot had been quiet for five minutes, then slipped out of her car to hurry for the back door of the library. She didn’t make a sound today. There were no heels to clack against the asphalt and no jangling bracelets to draw attention. No, today she wore black leggings and a long sweater and the most innocent of ballet flats. Granted, it was already warm outside, but she’d be hiding in the stacks all day, deep in the shadows, where she couldn’t seduce anyone. The leggings should keep her panties, carefully chosen for full granny effect, securely in place.
She should have listened to Sophie. Lauren needed to work out her newly blossomed lust with a few strangers. Get it out of her system in a way that left no evidence.
But hopefully this would stay quiet. No harm done. Just a little personal humiliation whenever she saw Jake. Or Kevin. Or Annabelle. And a devastating, soul-wrecking boost to her already racing libido.
One tiny taste of good sex and she was ravenous. She’d already gotten off to a fantasy of Jake this morning. It was the first morning of many, she imagined. And maybe it was better that way. She’d keep him close enough to feed her fantasies, but not so close that he could ruin her.
Head down, Lauren made it all the way across the lot without spotting any firefighters, much less one who’d been witness to her indiscretion. She thought she was home free, but before the door closed behind her, her cell phone rang and she tensed for the worst.
And it was the worst. Her ex-husband.
“Karma,” she muttered before answering the call.
“Hi, Steve,” she said, her face already warming with guilt. There was no way he’d heard anything already.
“Lauren! How are you?”
“Good. Hold on a second.” She meant to escape to the library office, but she glimpsed Sophie in there, typing away. Cell phone calls weren’t allowed in the library. She had no choice but to step back outside. Steve only ever called about their son. “Is everything okay?” She’d just talked to Sawyer yesterday morning, but maybe he’d called Steve with a problem.
“Everything’s good. I was just checking to see if you’re going to homecoming next month.”
She smiled at the thought of interfering with the football fun during Sawyer’s first experience of homecoming weekend at college. “No, I know Sawyer’s looking forward to the weekend with you. I don’t mind. You boys have a good time.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m sure. Why?” They tried to be friendly for Sawyer’s sake, but it was a little extreme of him to try to talk her into a trip.
“Oh. No reason. Just...”
She waited him out. Steve didn’t like silence.
As expected, he gave in quickly. “I thought I might bring someone along, and I didn’t want to make you unhappy.”
“Oh, for God’s sake,” she snapped. “I’m not affected by you dating.”
“Well, sure, but it’s getting a little serious, and you know, I wouldn’t want to flaunt it in your face. With your history...”
She was honestly dumbfounded. “What history?”
“Well, you weren’t really into marriage, and you haven’t managed to settle down since then.”
“You weren’t really into marriage, either, if you remember correctly. Neither one of us was particularly happy.”
“You’re right. Of course. It’s just that at your age...”
Lauren gasped. “At my age? You’re two years older than I am!”
“And I’m in a relationship. That’s my point. I don’t want to rub it in.”
“What the hell?” she sputtered. “What kind of arrogant, condescending sh—”
“Lauren! I don’t want to fight. I was trying to be nice. Why do you always do this?”
Lauren closed her eyes and took a deep breath before she got fired for cursing at the top of her lungs outside the library. “‘Nice?’” she finally growled. “Nice enough to try to accommodate my sad, lonely life by keeping your happiness under wraps? You’re a real saint, Steve.”
He sighed, the weary sound letting her know that he found her as impossible and bitchy as he always had. “Fine. I�
��m the bad guy again. I’m sorry I upset you. I shouldn’t have bothered asking. I’ll see you during the holidays, I’m sure.”
He hung up before she could tell him where to stick the holiday turkey. “What an unbelievable ass,” she hissed, squeezing her phone until it creaked. Which was when she looked up to see Kevin hovering halfway out the back door of the fire station, a duffel bag slung over his shoulder. “Um...” He swallowed and his eyes flicked toward the parking lot. “Good morning, Mrs. Foster. I was just grabbing a few—”
She spun on her heel and fled into the library without a word.
“I’m repairing books today,” she said flatly when she walked into the office.
Sophie’s eyes went wide with alarm. “You don’t look happy. Why don’t you look happy?”
“It’s a long story.”
Her friend cringed. “Is everything okay? I take it things didn’t go well last night?” She lowered her voice. “With Jake?”
Lauren really didn’t want to talk about it, but it wasn’t fair to leave the impression that Jake had done anything wrong. “Jake was great. But I shouldn’t have done it.”
Sophie leaned closer. “Done what, exactly?”
“Just...” Lauren waved a hand. Sophie watched as if she expected Lauren to pantomime a specific sex act. “It was nice. Better than nice. Really. But it won’t work out, and I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Shoot.” Sophie’s face crumpled.
“You were right. I should avoid local guys.”
“I’m sorry, Lauren. But anytime you want to go out, I’m your girl.”
Lauren put on a game smile. “It’s a deal.”
But her smile faded as she moved into the back room to start on the pile of broken and battered books. The truth was that she was impossible and bitchy. And not great at love. And terrible at being the better half. She’d never been like so many other women she knew, happy to be in a marriage with a man who held down a job and loved being a dad. She’d resented the inequalities and resisted doing what was expected of her. And God, she’d hated all of her husband’s little digs.
No, she wasn’t good at cooking and cleaning and selflessly assembling countless preschool crafts. She wasn’t happy to contribute to the carpool or whip up a nice dish for the potluck at his office. She’d eventually decided she wasn’t good at marriage, either, and what a relief that had been.
And one more way she wasn’t like other women? Divorce hadn’t devastated her. She’d felt awful for her son, but God, she’d felt free, and she’d hoped that a happy mom was more important for Sawyer than a married one.
Lauren set her jaw and straightened her shoulders. The chemistry she had with Jake was special. It was wonderful. But there was no relationship in the cards. He was used to a sweet, normal woman. Lauren couldn’t step into the role his wife had filled. Not for him and certainly not for Annabelle. Better to nip this in the bud, and leave it at that, or a lot of hearts would be broken.
Including hers.
Chapter Six
ANNABELLE HAD DISAPPEARED while Jake was dropping Lauren off at home the night before, but she’d left a note. Spending the night at Kevin’s. Love you. Just that. No mention of the scene she’d stumbled upon. Not even a “Let’s talk tomorrow.” Jake was sure she’d meant to be kind, but by nine the next morning, it was just torturous.
He’d already gone for a run—wearing a shirt—and he’d showered, gotten dressed and done the dishes. Now he was sitting at the kitchen table with his third cup of coffee turning sour in his stomach.
Annabelle might have been encouraging him to date, but that didn’t mean she’d been ready to see evidence of it. Certainly not such graphic evidence. And he was damn sure she hadn’t expected the woman to have been a friend of her mom’s. Would she think, now, that something had been going on when her mom was still alive?
On one hand, Jake knew it was none of his daughter’s business who he dated. He believed that. But on the other... The whole damn town was invested in his life.
As a first-grade teacher with twelve years of experience, Ruth had had a connection with almost every family in town. When she’d died, it had been a community tragedy. Grief counselors had been brought in to speak with the kids. The funeral had been a huge memorial service with another private family service at the gravesite. Annabelle had been in college, but everyone had treated the situation as if Jake was faced with the tragedy of raising a young girl on his own. There’d been advice. So much advice. And after a discreet six months, talk of meeting another woman as nice as Ruth.
Now the community was getting worried. It was time to move on. Maybe it was even time to start a new family. He was a healthy, steady man, after all. They were invested in his future.
So even though Jake knew it was nobody’s business... It seemed to be everyone’s business, and he’d resisted the casting call. Oh, he’d been tricked into plenty of dinner parties where there just happened to be a single woman in her thirties seated next to him, but other than that... He’d refused to discuss it with anyone.
He couldn’t refuse anymore. Not with Annabelle.
He jumped up when the front door opened and met her at the entrance to the kitchen. “Hi, sweetie.”
“Hi, Daddy.” She offered a hug and then a tentative smile. “So... Did you sleep well?”
He winced.
Annabelle cleared her throat. “Well. I guess when you told me you were dating, I should’ve believed you.”
Jake looked up at the ceiling in hopes of some insightful reply, but there was no answer there. “I’m really sorry about that. I thought you were spending the night at Kevin’s and then I kind of...forgot about the whole issue for a few minutes.”
She covered her face and laughed. “Yeah, I guess so.”
“God, Annabelle. About Lauren...”
“Dad, it’s no big deal. Mrs. Foster seems nice.”
“You can call her Lauren,” he insisted flatly. “And she is nice. But I want to be clear that there’s never been anything between us in the past. Last night was the first time we’d seen each other that way.”
“Wow. You move fast, Dad.”
Now Jake was the one who wanted to cover his face. “There wasn’t... We... Never mind.”
She leaned against the counter and looked at him long enough to make him squirm. Which really wasn’t that long in this situation. “She’s pretty, Dad. And I’m glad you’re seeing someone.”
“It’s not weird that you knew her before?”
“It’s a small town. It would be weird if I hadn’t known her before.”
He slumped a little, the tension of the past few hours leaving him. “Your mom knew her. And I’m friends with her ex. It feels like a betrayal of...someone. I don’t even know who.”
“Dad.” She waited until he looked up and met her gaze. “Maybe it’s not a betrayal of anyone. Maybe you just really like her and you’re looking for an excuse not to.”
“Why would I do that?”
She shook her head like he was being difficult. “Because you really loved Mom and it broke your heart when she died?”
Jake crossed his arms. “That sounds like something from a TV movie. Of course it broke my heart. But we’re just talking about dating here. There’s no reason to get maudlin.”
“Stop being such a boy. We’re talking about getting involved with a woman to see if you could love her. Right? Unless this was just a quick hookup?”
His face heated at just how quickly things had gone from tentative to I-need-this last night. Had it just been a hookup? “Shit, I don’t know.”
“You do know what a hookup is, right?”
“Jesus, Annabelle, I was in college in the ’80s, not the nineteenth century.”
“Really? Did people have sex back then and every
thing? Did you do it in black and white?”
Jake groaned. “I’ve raised an incorrigible brat.”
She laughed because she knew it wasn’t true. In fact, Jake knew he’d raised an amazing woman. She was handling this a lot better than he was. Maybe she could even help.
“In all honesty, I don’t know whether it’s anything at all. And after last night, I’m not sure she’ll ever want to see me again.”
“Come on. It’ll be really funny in a few days. That was like a classic romantic comedy scene. We’ll tell that story over Christmas dinner for years to come.”
He shot her a glare. “Not funny.”
“Totally funny. Have you talked to her?”
“Not yet. She’s working today, and God knows she probably doesn’t want me coming into the library and starting rumors.”
Annabelle just shook her head. “You’re going to call her, right?”
Yes, he was going to call her. There was no denying the attraction between them now, and he felt stupid for having spent so long trying. Yes, Ruth had known Lauren, and worrying that there’d been a subliminal attraction before didn’t honor his wife’s memory. She would want him to be happy. In fact, she’d told him that close to the end. She’d smiled and told him to remember he had a whole life left to live.
Steve might be a stickier issue. He seemed to hold a small flame for his ex-wife, but who wouldn’t? Jake had last seen him at the city’s Fourth of July barbecue, and even so many years after the divorce, Steve had seen fit to say Lauren didn’t know what she was missing. Screw that bastard if he hadn’t been able to make it work with a woman like Lauren. Screw him for bragging about being free to date younger women.
After what Jake had felt with Lauren last night, he’d be a fool and a coward to lose her out of fear. He did have a whole life left, and Lauren made him feel damn ready to live it.
Chapter Seven
LAUREN PINNED HER hair up in a knot and headed for the kitchen to pour herself another glass of wine. She’d made it through the day without dying of embarrassment, and now her only plan was to soak in a hot bath and get fantastically drunk while doing it.
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