by Kia Corthron
B.J.
autobiography
chiken make bj deaf ma love bj benja love bj randall
love bj carry baby tricycle fall baby cry pa no love sally roger debellen bj want milk bottle pa drink all bj milk drink all baby bj milk bottle bj no milk hungry baby hungry firework bad henrylee bad pa no love i love brother randall randall elephant mother elephant baby i like the music loud
cake bake batter pa read paper the smallest one was madeline she was not afraid of mice she loved winter snow and ice benja deal the cards mother dress blue henrylee train fall no milk rations what is curious randall what is george randall what is city randall monkey monkey national
geographic.
Ma hands say clean your room.
The library is many many book.
I show father deaf spell he not like slap me slap me
43
36
79
It was hot today mother made lemonade I drink three glass.
I read the secret of the old clock long. Randall said I should read Hardy Boys but I like Nancy. What is will I say Nancy is searching for the will. Randall say will is death sometime I understand death sometime my understand fly away.
Dead deaf not same.
Every night dream Randall hang from the rope. Then I wake keep my eyes on him until he wake and brush his teeth he stay stay.
1941–42
Humble
ELIOT
I got nine lives!
You ain’t got no nine lives, cat got nine lives. Dwight don’t even look up. Dwight always drawrin.
I’m a cat! I’m a cat! I’m a cat! Meow. Hahahaha!
Shut up.
Whatchu drawrin?
He don’t answer. I go over. He settin on our bed. He settin on our bed drawrin.
He got wings! That man got wings!
It’s Icarus, Dwight say. Dwight good at drawrin! Look! Fingernails!
Who’s Icarist?
A myth.
Huh?
A made-up story.
Who’s Icarist?
Thought he could fly to the sun.
Aw! He nekked!
You don’t see no private parts, do ya.
I don’t see no close.
Dwight stop talkin. He prolly done talkin. He use to talk but he don’t talk much no more now he’s in the sixt.
I got nine lives. I got nine lives. I got nine lives.
Shut up.
Everbody got lives. Two lives. I seen em.
Whatchu talkin about?
I see yours right now. One there. An one there.
Now Dwight look up.
Stop doin that with your eyes.
I ain’t!
Mama said stop doin that with your eyes.
I ain’t! They do it all by emself!
That’s cuz you cross-eyeded.
I’m cross-eyeded! I’m cross-eyeded!
Stop jumpin!
I whisper: I’m cross-eyeded.
But sometime you make it happen on purpose an Mama said stop it.
I run out the room I hop down the steps.
I’m a cat! I’m a cat! I’m a cat! I hop like a bunny down the steps. I’m a bunny cat! Hahahaha!
Settle down, say Mama.
I’m a cat! I got nine lives!
Cat don’t got nine lives, that’s a myth.
A made-up story!
Very good! She doin Miss Idie’s ironin. Sheets an pillacase, white! white! white! white!
You got the spring fever, she say.
I ain’t sick!
I mean you’re excited. The sun.
Yes! The spring fever! The spring fever!
Settle down or go outside.
I fly out! I fly to the sun like Icarist! Sun on my head, the birds tweet tweet. I skip to Colored Street. Colored Street’s two streets over, most everbody colored. The street sign say Oak Street. We live on Mixed Street. My mama say Mixed Street useta be all white, then some colored move in, then some more colored move in, then no more colored move in for a while, till us. So now all the colored on Mixed Street is the old people an us. Mixed Street is Rock Hill Road, we at 124 Rock Hill Road, Humble, Maryland!
Ooooooh, Jeanine’s cat got babies! Bea Ann an Donny an Emma Jean standin aroun. Donny an Emma Jean an Jeanine an me same class, Miss McAfee’s firs grade. Bea Ann in the second. Jeanine live at 113 Colored Street. Haha! 113 Oak Street.
Want one? Jeanine say to me.
Yes!
Bea Ann cryin. My mama say No cats, no cats.
Jeanine say to me, Your mama let you have a kitty?
Yes! (It ain’t exackly The Truth. The Truth: I don’t know!)
No cats, Bea Ann cryin.
Emma Jean claim the black. Donny claim the blacknwhite.
You claim em now, says Jeanine, but they too little to lee their mama. You come back an get em when they six weeks, June the fith.
June the fith? But it only April the twenty-fourth! I can’t wait till June the fith!
You’ll wait if you wannem.
Her uncle gonna drownd em! Bea Ann cryin. Her uncle take em down to the crick!
Only if I don’t give em all away. He say enough strays roun here.
I point at the tannie. That a girl or boy?
Boy. You can’t even touch em, the mama smell the human, she won’t touch em no more. That why you gotta wait six weeks. The mama need to nurse em.
I look at the mama, she also a tannie like my baby kitty. I see her walk on two feet, smilin, wear her nurse cap, red crost on it.
I fly back to Mixed Street. Birds chirp chirp. I know what I gonna name my tannie. Parker. It just come to me. Parker. Donny an Emma Jean an Jeanine an me in the same class but I’m the smartest! I’m the smartest, firs grade!
Dwight on the front porch with Roof. Cracker Jacks.
Where you get them Cracker Jacks?
They stare at me, chew. They don’t say nothin.
You better not a stole em!
You better mine your own business you know what’s good for you, say Dwight. Roof say nothin, chew. Roof’s white, his family live at 137 Rock Hill Road. His shirt dirty. Always his shirt dirty, always his family dirty. Mama come out the back with Miss Idie laundry basket.
I’m a cat! I’m a cat! Hop to her.
I gotta go to work, jumpin bean.
Jeanine’s mama cat got cat kittens, I wanna kitten!
Who got kittens?
We turn to the big bushes. Ole Miss Onnie’s voice from the other side.
Who cat got kittens?
Miss Onnie scare me! I look fearful to my mama.
He said Mae Webber’s little girl’s cat over on Colored Street, Miss Onnie.
Jeanine! I whisper.
Oh. Better not be nunna my cats.
Jeanine her name! I whisper.
I fixed all them lately-come females, better not be any of em carryin no packages. Then Miss Onnie voice gone.
Move, Mama say, I gotta go to work.
Can I have a tannie? Little tannie kitty?
She sigh. We barely feedin you an Dwight, how we gonna feed a cat? Then she walkin to work.
Go up to our mulberry tree, I eat the berries. My hans purple. I done sat in the mulberries, oooh, my pants purple, she gonna smack me!
Back to the front porch, Dwight playin jacks with Roof. The red ball bounce, bounce.
Dwight, teach me jacks!
Scoot, Dwight say. Bounce.
I go over to Miss Idie’s. Her street white like Miss Idie. Humble is mostly white people. Mostly mostly mostly white people. One time I say to Mama, How come Daddy don’t work close by, come home every day? She say the glass factory, the tire factory, the textile factory, the paper mill, brewery—them job
s go to white first. Lass hired firs fired. Porters he knew is steady for colored.
I go in Miss Idie’s back door. My mama part-time. She cookin for Miss Idie, chicken soup. Whatchu followin me aroun for? Inside, pretty day like today.
Is that the little gentleman? Miss Idie real ole, she kinda blind.
Yes, Miss Idie, my mother say. She won’t never say Yes, ma’am.
Well I think I got a little somethin for him. Miss Idie like my visits. I follow her an she hold out a chocolate ball. My eyes crost an there’s two hans an two chocolate balls.
Thank you! It sweet an gooey.
Alone with my mama Miss Idie kitchen she say, Why there purple on them pants? You settin under that mulberry tree again? Didn’t I tell you—
Out the door! I see the butterfly flutter flutter. The church bell dong one dong, that mean dinner! Mama be home for dinner, she only Miss Idie’s part-time. Dwight already at the table eatin his butter an tomata sanwich. I set down pick up mine, tomatas out my mama’s garden!
Mama, I love tomatas outcher garden! We have em for supper too?
She nod, she settin at the sewin machine, her eyes on Dwight’s trousers.
Mama, which butter an tomata sanwich you wamme eat? Hahahaha!
But she don’t laugh. I didn’t mean to make her sad!
We been savin. You gonna have your eyeglasses before second grade, baby.
Afternoon I lie in my yard, close my eyes, warm sun. Smell. Spring! I got nine lives. I got me an Mama an Dwight an Daddy, that’s one. I got Colored Street, I got school, that’s three. I got the mulberry tree by myself, that’s four, the more lives you got, the longer you live, I live old like Mesusalah! I got Sunday school, an I got regular school. Six.
In bed in the dark. Already took my bath, now Dwight taken his. Sometime I get scared till Dwight come to bed, but tonight the moon full, I see from the glow from the window.
Dwight come in clean from his Saturday night bath, get on his side a the bed, pull the covers over him. He don’t even speak, he don’t even say good night!
I say, Dwight. You teach me jacks? He prolly say no, he prolly jus ignore me.
But Dwight pop right up, he get the jacks an ball!
Whisper, he say, or she tell us back to bed. Then he show me. Bounce, pick up one. Bounce, pick up two. Bounce,
Pick up three! I get it I get it!
Whisper!
Boys? We hear her call, we quiet like dead. When it’s safe he start up again, but this time no soun, he move his lips. I stare at his lips. Bounce, pick up four.
DWIGHT
You don’t hurry up we’ll miss the cartoon!
Now Eliot flyin out the house, catchin up with me. Big grin like usual, all sunshine.
Yaw goin to the pictures? Roof comin up behind. What’s playin?
Tarzan. What else.
I like Tarzan! Eliot hoppin. There be cartoons before Tarzan?
Ten school days leff till summer, says Roof. How boutchu?
We in the same county. Same schedule.
I’m gettin the Perfect Attendance certificate! Eliot tells Roof since I already heard it a thousand times.
Somebody movin into Cooper’s, Roof says. No socks an the hole in his loafer so big practically his entire little toe on the ground.
How you know?
I heard. Anyhow somebody took the For Sale sign down. Didn’t ya notice?
I’m the only one in firs grade gettin the Perfect Attendance certificate!
Maybe not. Still got ten days to go, maybe you miss one of em, Roof tell him.
No I won’t.
Maybe you get sick.
I won’t!
Well I’m feelin sick. Roof starts coughin an sticks his coughin mouth right in Eliot’s face.
Stop it, Roof!
We’ll see if you go to school Monday now.
I will!
There’s a long line at the thee-ater, teenagers an little kids for the matinee.
Why’s everbody here? Roof complainin. Not a cloud in the sky, why ain’t they outside playin?
Why ain’t we? say I.
After we buy our tickets, Roof turns to me. I don’t even gotta ask, I can tell by the smirk on his face what about to come out his mouth.
Well, guess I’ll see yaw after the show.
Roof goes on in while Eliot follows me aroun to the alley entrance. Colored entrance. Some days Roof’ll come with me, set with the coloreds in the peanut gallery but today he decided to be a punk. At the concessions Eliot gets Good & Plenty, I get Turkish taffy.
Bout seventy thousand steps to the firs balcony. Eliot’s pantin, restin. I’m sighin an holdin my breath, pretendin like I don’t even feel it, meanwhile my heart beatin 800 miles per hour.
Can’t we set here? He ask me that same damn question every time.
You see any colored people here? When he catches his breath, we trudge on up to Balcony Two.
Plenty a white seats down below but colored section practically full already.
I wanna touch the ceilin, Dwight!
We go up to the back row. I lift him, his palm on the ceilin, whole face smilin. I’m too old for this. But I like it, I touch it too. Me an Eliot, giants.
Dwight.
Me an Eliot look. Richard. Two years older, fourteen. Tall. Slim. Also an artist, Miss Dixon the art teacher always beamin at his work too. Kimmie an Talia in tow, still pickin their seats.
Hey.
You wanna come over to Talia’s? Kimmie asks. We’re gonna play Criss-Crosswords, then maybe go to the graveyard.
Hm. Well I got Eliot.
I can go too!
No you can’t. Plus we come here with Roof, so.
Talia scrunches her nose, hearin Roof. The lights go out, an they scuttle down to fronta the balcony.
The Looney Tunes is a blacknwhite, Joe Glow the Firefly. The firefly is pure-dee cartoon, a little guy lookin a lot like Jiminy Cricket from that Pinocchio lass year, an carryin a lantern which is his light. But the rest a the picture. The shadows. More like a realistic sketch than a comic. An the perspective. How huge each eyelash a the sleepin man the lightnin bug walks on. The earthquake jus from the man twitchin his face. The avalanche come down on him when he open a Morton salt, who coulda thoughta all that?
When the Tarzan come on, I only half pay attention. Thinkin bout Richard an em, hardly ever do I play with. The inconvenience, Richard four miles away. Kimmie an Talia right over on Colored Street but they’re girls, an Talia kind of a snooty one. Still I ain’t forgot Roof abandonin me for the white seats, maybe I will leave with Richard. Drop Eliot off at home, catch up.
Eliot’s choking. I bang him on the back. Some of his Good & Plenty gone down the wrong way. Second his throat’s clear, he start shakin em out again like to eat some more. I snatch em away.
Hey!
Take a rest, fool!
After a while I give em back, my whisper stern: Eat slow.
When the lights come up I’m lookin for Richard an company but they’re already gone. Outside me an Eliot see Roof waitin for us.
That was the best one yet!
Yeah! Eliot agreein with him.
Those Africans. You sure can see the whites a their eyes.
Yeah! says Eliot gigglin his head off.
Wooga wooga. I look at Roof. Ain’t nobody in that picture said Wooga wooga but he sayin it now, like all Africans talk like that. At our house Eliot runs up on the porch yellin Mama, I saved a Good & Plenty for you!
She come out. Oh hello Roof.
Hi Miss Claris.
How long your mama got now? Month?
Three weeks she say.
Well, lemme know she need anything.
We walk up an acrost the street to Roof’s. You get candy? he asks all hopeful.
&
nbsp; I already ate it.
Oh.
It was jus taffy. I say this knowin he love taffy. Wooga wooga.
The gutter hangin off Roof’s porch roof, some board in a second floor winda replacin the glass somebody kicked through. There’s this flat wood dog out front with The Bart n’s on it, one a the little kids musta picked off the o. I thinka Roof’s backyard as the magic garden, so fulla junk we jus stroll through till we come acrost somethin interestin.
Who’s doll head’s that?
I dunno. Tisa’s. Or Cath Cath’s.
Here’s how it goes. Roof, twelve like me. Then Tisa ten, Joellen eight, Beaver seven, Cath Cath five, Lucy Deucy two.
Where’d it come from? Where’dja get all these toys?
I dunno. Some Christian. They was pretty beat up already when she give em to us outa her bin. Hey you think your daddy let us get on the trains again?
I shrug. That only happen the wunst.
So? Maybe it happen again.
He be home Tuesday, I can ask him. I try pullin up the doll head but it’s connected to a body buried I don’t know how deep. Then I spy the treasure. Box a colored chalk, fresh. How them Bartons just toss off perfectly good chalk not use it? I take the steps up to Roof’s back porch, start sketchin. Roof’s back porch i’nt a real wood porch, just a square a see-ment at the top a the see-ment steps an leadin to the back door. I’m not there a minute before Lucy Deucy come slammin the door open, starin at me. Thumb in her mouth.
Get back in there, says her brother.
No! She come out, dirty an all. I start to help her down the steps but she snatch herself away, goin down backwards.
What I heard was they was movin in this Saturday, says Roof, rollin a ole tire. To Cooper’s.
Oh. I keep sketchin. Then I look up. They got kids?
Heard they do. Most a Roof’s yard’s jus dirt. Now Lucy Deucy crawlin around, pullin up what little grass there is.
Roof lookin at my work. Hey, that’s that lightnin bug from the cartoon.
I make two of em, one blacknwhite like what we seen, the other color. I make decisions on the palette.
I wanna do a club.
Lass week you said no coloreds in your club.