by Kia Corthron
He’s leaving for Florida in a week, says Christina. Edwin. Eglin Air Force Base.
My little brother’s friend’s uncle got drafted, I say. Lives over on Oak Street. I never say Colored Street to white people.
But white people know what Oak Street is so Christina looks confused. He’s colored?
I nod.
I didn’t know colored boys fought.
Course they fight, her father tells her. Well, they serve. Cooks. Cleaning the latrines.
There’s gonna be colored pilots! Trainin em, Tuskegee College. Tennessee.
Colored pilots? Christina all agape at me.
Where’d you hear such a thing? asks her father.
Lotsa places.
Oh that must just be a rumor, says Mr. Talley.
Free Parking. Boring! Carl slams his car down there. You know some people play that all the money collected from Chance and Community Chest goes into the middle of the board, then when you land on Free Parking: windfall! It’s not strictly according to the rules. But we could play it like that. If you want.
The SS thinks it’s unbeatable. Well here come the Yanks! Carl’s father raises his glass, toastin.
Double V! I say. Victory over our enemies from without, an victory over our enemies from within!
Hear, hear! says Mr. Talley. Then he frowns, confused.
What the hell’s double V? asks Carl.
Colored slogan. I made the Double V, my mother put it in our winda. From this article she cut out, taped to our icebox.
Frigidaire! Carl says. He always calls it that! I don’t know if the horse-n-buggy still come to his house but we live in 1942.
Happy birthday! says Mrs. Talley, comin in holdin somethin wrapped.
And what’s that other thing you say. Most and generally. He means usually!
We were thinking. Maybe it’s time for us to get married too. Edwin and me.
After college, says her mother, eyes on me openin my present.
Well he wants to go to college, that bill for soldiers—
After you finish college, Mrs. Talley turnin to her.
Oh! Christina all frustration.
Do you like it?
Yes! Thank you! I start flippin through, feelin the slick pages. Never had a art book to call my own.
Well, Carl and I thought you might like it.
I turn to him. Thanks, Carl.
Carl says, What is it?
I need to marry him soon. You never know what might happen.
What’s the enemies within, Dwight?
I turn to Mr. Talley. Segregation. Lynchin.
I know a little about art, says Mrs. Talley. I had an Art Appreciation class. College. She flips through my book.
Well, says Mr. Talley, that’s a little like racing to patch up the roof while the whole house is burning down. We have to get our priorities straight.
If anything ever happened to Edwin, I don’t know what I’d do!
The first priority is to make sure next week we aren’t all speaking German. Or Japanese. Know how many syllables Japanese takes? Nobody’d get anything done, take you twenty minutes just to say I’m leaving for work, honey-sun! Carl’s father cracks up.
I went one year to college, I took an Art Appreciation class. I came to appreciate the Impressionists, Monet, Degas. Do you like the Impressionists, Dwight?
If anything ever happened to Edwin, I’d just want him to know he had someone to call a wife.
You mean a widow, says Mrs. Talley, admirin the chapter on Impressionists. Christina look all shocked, then run cryin out the room. Carl’s dice hit the board.
Boxcars! Carl skip his sports car roun the bend.
There was a colored soldier used to cook for us back in ’19, France. Stanley. Can’t recall now if that was his first name or his last. Loved that guy! He used to say, Lieutenant Talley suh, youse de nicest white man aroun heah, an Ise sho gonna make sho youse gets the biggis hunka meat they is suh. Mr. Talley bustin his insides, the laughter.
Boardwalk! Your ass is grass now, Campbell.
Carl, says his mother.
What kind of meat is this, Stanley? I’d ask. De ah-mee meat suh, whatevah dat be. Ise sho don know, Lieutenant Talley suh! an Mr. Talley laughs so hard he falls back in his chair with his wineglass but careful careful doe’n’t spill a drop.
ELIOT
Dwight home?
Nope.
Roof frown.
Okay, tell him I come by.
Mama, where’s Dwight?
I don’t know. Up Roof’s, I guess.
Uh-uh. Roof jus come lookin for him.
I don’t know. She settin hand-sewin on my dungarees.
Dwight! Dwight!
Not in our bedroom. Not in mamadaddy’s bedroom. Dwight!
I go down the basement steps. He settin on the mountain a coal, cep now it’s just a hill a coal. Sketchin.
Dwight! I smile, found him. Didn’t you hear me callin?
His eyes look up, not friendly. Whatta you want.
Nothin. Jus lookin for ya.
Why.
Just wondered where you were.
You foun me, now go.
It ain’t your basement, stay long as I want. An I set on the steps, crost my arms.
He make a big groan, come stompin up the steps right by me.
No privacy! Slammin out the back door.
In bed I say, Dwight, they callin for snow!
Uh-huh.
Your birthday the grounhog seen his shadow. That mean only six weeks leff a winter. An a week pass since your birthday now only five weeks leff a winter. Aw! I like winter!
It mean six more long weeks a winter.
Oh! Yay! I like winter! I fiddle with my loose tooth. Didja get your birthday wish, Dwight? Whadja wish for?
My business. Ow!
What!
Spring! I know what that mean, another spring come through the mattress, stab Dwight.
Didja wish for snow for your birthday? I hope we get snow! If we get snow, you help me make a snowman?
He sigh.
Didja wish your birthday wa’n’t Grounhog’s Day? You’re a grounhog, Dwight. Hahaha! I’m glad my birthday’s not Grounhog’s Day, glad my birthday a day all by itself. Cep I wish my birthday was Christmas. Double the presents! Hahahaha! Then people sing We wish you a merry Christmas We wish you a merry Christmas We wish you a merry Christmas an Eliot’s birthday!
Shut up an go to sleep!
Blizzard! I run down the stairs! Dwight already up eatin oatmeal.
Snow!
She smile tired. Twenty-two inches. No school today. Siddown, you want cinnamon in your oatmeal?
Yes! She put it in front a me, I smell it. I love oatmeal! Dwight finish eatin jus while I start. He go get his gloves an coat.
Wait for me!
He out the door!
Never be able to drag him outa bed this early if it was school, she say.
I know. Hahahaha!
She set with her oatmeal. You gettin to be a big boy.
I stop smilin. Wonder what she an Dwight talkin bout fore I get up!
Your brother asked about movin into the guestroom.
My mouth open!
If we have guests, then he go back to your room. But when it’s jus the four of us you could each—
No!
She sigh. There ain’t no goblins, Eliot.
I stare at her, gettin the shaky lips.
Okay. I asked him if he wouldn’t mind waitin till you a little older. Okay?
Okay! I slurp up oatmeal, think I ain’t never gettin a little older, hahaha!
On Jake’s Hill the big kids with sleds. Dwight an Roof sharin Zack Rhodes’es. I share Jeanine’s toboggan. Screamin, flyin down the
hill! Every time I go to Dwight he turn away from me. Always he ignore me but today he ignore me hard.
Cold! I come home to warm up but fore I go in my house I wonder about Parker. Ain’t no cats in Miss Onnie’s yard. I knock on her back door. Her back door the side a her house, facin the side a our house our back-side porch our back-side door. Miss Onnie usually in her kitchen.
She open. Whatchu doin out there in Alaska?
I was lookin for Parker. I look past her, cats everywhere.
Come on in. Yella Cat! she yell. Siddown, he be out direckly. You like cocoa?
Yes!
Prolly lass chance for chocolate fore they rationin it off, she say. Then she pour. Blow it. I said blow it! Wanna burn your tongue off?
Parker come out, hop up on my lap.
Miss Onnie, your house all I hear is mew mew, all I smell is mew mew.
Miss Onnie throw her head back laughin. I didn’t even know I made a joke! I’m laughin too!
I go make a snowman our backyard. I can’t do it right! Gettin close to dark when she gonna call us to come in, all I got’s a hump! Cryin!
Come ere, I’ll show ya.
Dwight! He help me! It start lookin like a snowman.
Eliot! Dwight! She on the back porch, got her sweater on but no coat, rubbin her arms, hollerin out to the street.
We’re here, Mama!
She turn aroun. Oh. I like that snowman!
Can we finish, Mama? I’m jumpin, jumpin!
Okay, long as you stay in the yard. Fifteen more minutes. She shiver, go back inside.
We finish. I wanna get coal for the eyes but Dwight say no. He take his fingers an carve the eyes an the nose an the mouth, it look just like a person!
You know how to make snow angels?
He show me. Lie on the groun, let your arms swish, up down up down. Let your legs swish, apart together apart together. I do what he say, then I get up, see what I done. It look jus like a angel! I love my brother!
Near enda Febyuary, Mama settin at the kitchen table doin arithmetic like she always do near enda the month every month.
Daddy an I think we might have a little surprise for you boys.
What!
If the arithmetic add up. Little surprise.
Helen Brown, what did I just say was the capital of North Dakota?
Helen eyes pop open! She ain’t heard Mrs. Brent say the capital a North Dakota, Helen always fallin asleep! I got to write the date on the calendar on the blackboard today, Tuesday the 3rd a March. Today school feel long cuz Daddy come home from Boddimore yesterday Monday the 2nd a March an goin back tomarra Wednesday the 4th a March, I wanna go home see him now! Dismissal bell! I run out the school, bang! My face smashed with snow! Dwight laughin. I run after him! I try to throw the snowballs at him but mine falls apart! Other kids throwin snowballs an runnin. Them twins Marco an Mokie. Jeanine try to throw at her big cousin Cirelle who always wear the pink bows in her hair, then outa nowhere this car come almost hit Jeanine! Everbody stop. White man jump outa the car.
Whatta ya doin! Yellin at Jeanine. Yellin at alla us!
Jeanine stare at him, eyes big. He’s ole, he look like forty. His wife settin in the other seat, she don’t get out. She don’t look at us, she look straight ahead not see us.
All you damn kids, this is a street, not a playground! Didn’t anybody never tell ya look up the street before ya step out? He start to get back in his car, sayin Act like you blind.
Act like you blind, say Mokie.
Our mouths fly open! Man fly back outa his car, slam the door eyes hard on Mokie, What did you say?
An it’s a alley, not a street, Mokie say. The man move toward Mokie an Mokie take off! We all take off! Little niggers! we hear the man say way back there, way back there we run far from him! Runnin, runnin, an when we don’t see him no more: laughin!
Mama! Guess what me an Dwight—
But we don’t see her in the kitchen an we don’t see Daddy. Then we hear them talkin soff, upstairs. I run up. They back in our bedroom.
Mama! Daddy! Guess what—
I stop. Dwight right behine me, stop. There’s Mama an Daddy. An two little beds. Dwight’s an mine bed gone. Two little twin beds, one by the winda, one by the wall. Me an Dwight look at them beds, look at Mama an Daddy. Mama an Daddy grin. Dwight jump on the one by the winda.
No jumpin, Daddy say. These beds gotta last.
I seen these beds! say Dwight. In the winda, Ryan’s Used.
They’s the ones, say Mama. Dwight lie down, like to own the bed by the winda.
How come he gets the winda!
You’re the one always scared, lookin out at the tree at night. But I don’t care. You want this one?
Where’s our bed!
Mama lookin at me. Give it away.
To who!
Miss Polly Jean. She got all them kids, right? Half of em was sleepin on the floor.
I stare at her.
That bed was fallin apart, the springs comin through. You know we got it when Grammaw died, old.
Then how come you give it to Miss Polly Jean!
Better n em sleepin on the floor.
I want my ole bed! I take to sobbin.
God, say Dwight.
Don’t say that, say Mama.
You don’t know how lucky you are, Daddy say to me.
I bawl louder. Daddy say, Wamme give ya somethin to cry about?
In the night Mama tuck me in. It’s cold without Dwight!
She gimme a extra blanket. Good night. Kissin me.
The lights out, I say, I ain’t talkin to you, Dwight. You jus fine without me, I’m jus fine without you.
You oughta punish me like that more often, Dwight say somewhere in the dark. I wanna kick him but he too far away!
School nex day Wednesday Ellen an Helen thank me for the bed. Ellen an Helen Brown’s twins. Our mama an daddy say you ever wanna visit overnight, you welcome.
Mama! Ellen an Helen say I can stay overnight! Can I please please!
Mama look at me. Then she on the telephone.
Okay, Miss Polly Jean an Mr. George say you can stay tomorra night. You take the bus home after school with Ellen an Helen an come back nex day. Okay?
Okay!
Now if you go, you can’t cry for Mama. You never stayed overnight by yourself away from home before. You gonna be a big boy?
Yes! I won’t cry for Mama, I say. But inside I ain’t sure!
An you be polite to Miss Polly Jean an Mr. George.
I will!
An don’t ask for no seconds! Even if you still hungry.
I nod. Mama never tole me never ask for no seconds before. Sometimes I ask an she say All we gots is firsts today, but she never say I couldn’t ask.
Go to my room. Dwight on his bed sketchin. I go see what he’s drawrin. He turn away, like to hide it from me! I flop my behine down on his bed.
Get off!
Don’t haveta.
He pick me up an drop me on my bed! Then go back to his bed!
I’m tellin!
What else is new?
Mama! I bring her. Mama, Dwight threw me off his bed!
Eliot, you don’t share a bed anymore. Dwight’s bed is his space. He can’t get on your bed without your permission, you can’t get on his bed without his permission.
He threw me crost the room! I slam my behine down on my bed, crost my arms.
Look at them pouty lips, she say. I’ma cut off them lips, have em for supper.
Dwight snicker.
Shut up, Dwight!
Thursday school I try to think about the county seats a Maryland but I keep thinkin bout the school bus! I never rode no bus before.
Bell: school done school done! I come out with Ellen an Helen to go to the bus. There’s
Mama!
I jus come by to say See ya tomarra. I can’t believe I ain’t gonna see ya tonight! She hug me. Mama’ll miss you.
I’ll miss you too, Mama, I gotta get on the bus! I run away from her after Ellen an Helen. They get windas right behine each other. Helen set with their sister Crystal Lee from the fith. I set with Ellen an since I ain’t never been on a bus before Ellen trade with me so I get the winda! We drive all the way to Fort Naylor where Ellen an Helen an Crystal Lee Brown daughters a Miss Polly Jean an Mr. George live, all the way to the enda the county. We pass a lotta white schools. We got the only colored school the whole county! Drivin over a hour all the stops, by the time we get to the Browns it’s dark. A whole herd a kids get out here, all Browns.
It ain’t a far walk to their house. Their house like a playgroun! Kids everywhere! Sharon’s the oldest, nineteen, on down to the baby, three months ole. Seventeen kids!
Welcome, Eliot. Miss Polly Jean real nice to me, but yellin at all her own kids. Some of em doin homework, some of em runnin wile!
You have very nice eyeglasses, Eliot.
Thank you, Miss Polly Jean.
My kids never needed em. But Ralph Lee in the third grade lie on the floor, got his eyes so close to his readin book his nose practically touch the page. How he read all them kids goin wild aroun him! Their house ain’t so messy though, not like Roof’s house is messy. But Mama say we can’t call Roof trash cuz his little sister died.
At supper the big kids set at the table, us little kids set on the floor, Miss Polly Jean’s house ain’t very warm but everbody runnin aroun warm it up. But my behine cole on the cole floor.
We got fish sticks. I love fish sticks! Three fish sticks an buttered potatas an peas, I don’t even need seconds, firsts is plenty!
Now I see everyone else got one fish stick, the little little kids got a half fish stick. Everone got a little piece a potata but I got a whole half. Some a the littler kids stare at my plate, stare at me.
Wanna see your bed? say Ellen.
In the girls’ room her an Helen an Crystal Lee an Perry Ann side by side, Julia May stretched out crost the bottom. Five! When it was me an Dwight’s bed was jus two! Sharon sleep downstairs on the couch. Sharon say I need to get married an get outa here. Sharon say I’m nineteen, I need to start my own life. Like that she say it, six times.