Her eyes grew moist at the snarled mess her aura was in. She did only have one soul, but she detected a duality in it. She could tell the tiger was its own being that shared the same soul, which meant it… she, the tiger would have her own personality from Celia’s.
Her mind staggered at the implications of that. She tried to read behind the binding, read the tiger’s thoughts, see if she was even sane. If she’d been locked in her own mind with no way to interact with the world for twenty six years she knew she’d be completely nuts. But the binding stood there like a wall she couldn’t break through.
Tomorrow she would find out. She released the magic of the spell and let it fade and took a deep breath. She went back downstairs to collect the letters. Tomorrow she would close early after lunch when Berny left for the full moon coven celebration and ritual. She’d put the letters back then, jump in her car and go as far away as possible.
She didn’t really have a plan, just to get into the mountains and reasonably isolated. She’d have to hope once she’d shifted her tiger would eventually calm down. The idea that half her own soul probably hated both her and their shared magic made her tremble in both sadness and anger. It was the first time she had ever felt so much rage toward her mother.
She felt a little guilty about planning to run out on everyone, especially with being a suspect for a murder which will cause complications. It wouldn’t look good, but if she shifted and her tiger went on a killing spree, that would be much worse. She would either help the other half of her soul heal from its incarceration, or if she failed and went feral, she imagined other shifters would hunt her and she would die. Nothing could take precedence over that.
She couldn’t help but think she should have known before now and the guilt was crushing.
She brewed some of her special blend tea and went through three cups before she calmed down enough to try and get some sleep…
She woke up at four in the morning from another nightmare. This one had been her own, not her tiger’s. She had been trying to free the tiger from a cage, but every time she got close the tiger would try and maul her through the bars. She muttered under her breath and got into the shower, it was going to be a long day. She spent the time going through her book and memorized a few spells that seemed valuable.
One spell did a kind of field healing, it would cleanse and bind the wound closed, not a true healing, more like first aid. She also learned spells for providing warmth, finding water, and a spell that would disable an attacker without death. There were other stronger spells, but she was a healer at heart. She’d also considered her fire and weather talents were more than up to that task already if she found herself in a bad enough situation.
She wasn’t sure why she didn’t see it coming, when she opened the store that morning Fran came in with Berny. It was every few moons like clockwork Fran would ask if she wanted to join the coven, of course even if she wanted to she couldn’t now. Shifters had to shift during the full moon, it would never work.
Despite always turning down the honor that thought filled her with sadness.
The full moon lent their magic more power in addition to witches; it was why her mother had thought the first full moon would break the binding on her magic.
Fran asked, “How are you dear?”
Celia blew out a breath, “Better than a few days ago, still a little numb. How about you?”
Fran smiled slightly, “I miss her too, we were friends for a long time.”
She changed the subject, she may not have been a complete mess anymore but it still hurt to talk about it, “Anything I can get you this morning?”
Fran shook her head, “I know I’ve asked before, but now you’re alone. Are you sure you don’t want to join us tonight?”
Celia replied softly, “No, but thanks for asking,” she smiled over at Berny, “Not completely alone, it’s good to have company at the store and to pass along my skills.”
Berny blushed, “I’m learning a lot here.”
There was silence for a few moments; it always felt awkward when she had to turn down Fran.
Fran said, “Well I have a lot to do before tonight, just thought I’d extend the offer. And feel free to drop by the house whenever you want. Coven or not you’re still family.”
Celia nodded and whispered a thank you as she walked Fran out.
She frowned in annoyance as she saw the same unmarked car across the street. This time it was the younger partner, detective Peters, who seemed to be keeping an eye on her store. Didn’t they have anything better to do? She wondered if this would complicate her plan to hit the road this afternoon. The last thing she needed was a human cop following her into the mountains. Or worse, arresting her for leaving town, she snickered at the thought of being in jail tonight when she turned for the first time.
She still wasn’t sure if her impulsive plan was the best idea, she just knew staying here wasn’t an option.
Not if she wanted to keep people safe. Even shifters that are in control of themselves can lose control on a full moon from what she knew when the animal was ascendant. She realized she’d have to come up with some way to hide it when… if she came back. She wouldn’t suppress it, just the idea of it made her sick, but perhaps she could disguise it with glamour.
She frowned. Glamour was something any witch could do. It wasn’t an intrinsic ability like air and fire was for her, it was just one of the easiest and among the first spells a witch learned. Most often it was used to disguise a supernatural event from the eyes of mortals. It wasn’t exactly against the rules to use glamour against other witches, but it was considered bad from. Still, she wasn’t going to enhance her looks or use it for manipulation, she would just use it so people would see what she is now.
She still felt a little guilty at the thought, but she would do it if it was necessary to survive. The shifters would pick her right out if she didn’t, and even the witches would notice a difference if she suddenly became more graceful. It was going to be hard enough explaining her increased magical power.
The rest of the morning went slowly and her mind was only half on what she was doing as she made and discarded plans in her head. She drew a few strange looks from Berny, but the young witch didn’t say anything about her unusual quiet intensity.
After Berny left she closed up the store, put out the letters and got things locked up. She was afraid but she also sensed an excitement in her. Her emotions were conflicted, she felt like she was running away. She was doing that, but she was also running toward herself, her tiger. She took the time to gather some bottled water, food, and some camping gear.
She walked out the back and took a look around. No one seemed to be watching in the back alley as she got in the car and drove away heading west out of town…
Chapter 7
She was having second thoughts as she moved up the trail. She had briefly considered finding somewhere to lock herself up for the night of the full moon, but the idea had disgusted her badly. After being locked up in her mind for so long how could she do such a thing to her tiger, to herself?
She’d done all the research and was avoiding going to anywhere in the wild that was claimed either by witches or shifters. She’d also made sure her destination wasn’t a popular hiking spot for humans, but the farther she walked the more she doubted it would be enough. When she changed, her tiger was bound to roam and not just sit in one place.
It was almost inevitable she would meet up with one of the three groups.
It was too late now to change her mind, it was getting late in the afternoon and moonrise would be early tonight. She just had to hope her tiger wasn’t so far gone that she would hunt a human. For the most part shifters did not hunt humans, or at least, not to eat. She had to assume that had something to do with sharing a soul with a human.
She found a nice spot in a copse of trees and set up a crude camp. She could feel the tiger pacing inside her as she came closer to the forefront of her mind. She felt a little self con
scious as she removed her clothes when she felt the time grow nearer. It was natural of course for her shifter nature, but it went against what she had been conditioned and taught to believe.
She was frightened when the tiger inside her surged forward. She instinctually fought it for a moment before she was able to let go. As soon as she released control her body slowly flowed into a new shape. It didn’t hurt like a normal pain but it didn’t feel all that good either, and it was taking time. Her whole body tingled in an uncomfortable way, almost like pins and needles, and her heart rate increased.
It was like when her foot fell asleep, and the nerve clusters woke up when blood flow was restored, but in this shift to a tiger it seemed all of her nerve clusters in her body were being rewired and turned back on. It was a pain unique and unto itself.
She tried to close her eyes and take a deep breath, but she was no longer in control of her body. The tiger half of her soul was ascendant, she was nothing more than a passenger. She tried to do a relaxation mind exercise and put a little magic into it. To her surprise it worked, and she calmed down.
She knew the binding was gone and she could feel and sense the core of her magic. It was no longer a bright spark; it was more a large flame. She could feel the wariness from her tiger as she examined their magic so stopped.
She wondered if her tiger had a name or if she could communicate with her now that the binding spell was broken.
“Silva.”
She startled without the normal accompanied movement of her body… which felt strange.
She could see out of her eyes, everything was in shades of gray and much sharper than her human vision. Silva picked up her paw and looked at it, then turned her head and studied their body. She almost laughed, she’d been curious what her coloring as a white tiger looked like, she would never know unless someone told her or took a picture.
She felt a surge of guilt and thought about how sorry she was for what her mother had done.
Silva got up and shook out her fur before taking a few steps.
It was so weird for her as Silva walked forward quickly getting her balance. Surprisingly quick she thought sadly, considering she had been held for so long.
“Instinct.” she heard in her mind.
Silva started to run through the woods effortlessly. She wondered for a moment why Silva seemed to be able to hear all her thoughts but not vice versa. She thought maybe she was trying too hard, thinking too much.
She tried to just… be. She cleared her mind of thoughts and tried to be open.
She could sense it then, the joy of the run, of being free. She didn’t sense any hatred toward her at all, and marveled at that fact. Then again, she hadn’t done anything had she? Except maybe help Silva to be free again. She wondered what it would be like when they shifted back again, would she sense the tiger always there, right in the background.
She felt amusement from the great cat as she ran straight toward a tree. She cringed inside but right before they hit Silva went vertical, jumped twelve feet straight up, and landed on a large branch. She could feel her tail swaying back and forth, her sharp claws digging into the bark and holding her steady on the branch.
She roared, or at least, Silva did.
Silva bounded down the tree and started to run as fast as she could, just for the joy of it. Her paws ate up the ground as Silva ran down the game trails. She’d never had such a feeling of freedom and power before in her life.
Celia wanted to weep, both in joy and sadness. So much had been taken from them both, she still couldn’t get over the idea Silva wasn’t mad at her, or insane from being caged for so long. Although she did sense a wariness toward magic coming from her other half, so Celia knew they had some stuff to work through together.
It even made sense after a fashion, her bars had been magic, not bars of iron like in her nightmare.
She could sense Silva taking in all the myriad scents and assigning them to animals, trees, flowers, and myriad other things. She was so lost in the joy of discovery and the run that she failed to even try to warn Silva to stay close to the camp.
She felt a low growl in her throat that turned into a loud roar when a new scent became apparent. It smelled of magic, and wet dog. Wolf shifters?
“Run,” Celia thought.
Silva chuffed but turned around to head back to the campsite, but before she could move they were surrounded by growling wolf shifters, six of them. Crap. She’d have thought that the different shifter groups got along, but that didn’t seem to be the case. Unless it was simply her trespassing here that was the problem.
A deep voice spoke in her mind, “Why are you on our land, who are you.”
Celia wasn’t sure how to talk back. She knew shifters could communicate telepathically when in their animal forms, but she had no idea how to do it. Maybe the same way she talked to Silva? It didn’t matter, Silva answered for them.
Silva growled, “Mistake, leaving.”
One of the wolves growled back and she heard, “I don’t think so, who are you and where is your territory, why are you here?”
Celia was starting to get nervous and she could feel Silva was starting to feel trapped. Before she could think it through Silva took off at a dead run but they didn’t get very far. She felt a sharp pain in her side as she was tackled and started rolling. She felt Silva strikeout with her claw and her nails dug into flesh. A loud canine whine sounded right next to her as Silva got up and bound away.
She could feel Silva’s panic as they ran, they could both hear the wolves following, their paws sounding like drums when they hit the forest floor in her sensitive ears.
Celia tried to concentrate and reached for her magic. She didn’t want to harm them, so she went for air instead of fire or weather. The problem was as she drew her magic into the right channel she felt Silva’s panic reach a fever pitch and she was overcome by Silva’s fear and lost her grip on it.
They tripped over a root and tumbled. Celia was getting scared now. Silva may not hate her, but it was obvious her tiger was terrified of magic, any magic, even their own. Much more so than she had guessed earlier, and considering they were half witch that would be a problem.
Silva stood up from the tumble to continue their run, but it was too late. Three of the wolves attacked her in concert. One bit into her leg and she felt her bone snap, another took a bite at her rump and the last darted in and put his jaws at her throat.
She was terrified she was going to die. It was her first shift in twenty six years, she had no idea how to fight, and she couldn’t use her magic, or at least, not a lot of magic. Silva freaked when she tried to use powerful magic, her intention had been to use air magic to push the wolves away, perhaps into a tree, but Silva wouldn’t let her. The calming spell and lighting candles seemed to just make Silva wary, but they hardly took a trickle of power.
“Submit!” they both heard in their mind.
Silva growled deep in her throat, even if Celia wanted to, which she very much did not, her tiger would never let her do so. Stupid dog, cats don’t submit, he had to know that.
She finessed a small amount of magic and felt relief when Silva didn’t react past a certain wariness. She called on fire, not a lot obviously, but enough to create flames on the wolves’ snouts both to startle and make it hard for them to see.
They yelped and she giggled internally as Silva roared and bound away. They were still chasing her, part of her wanted to turn and attack, but they both knew she was way too inexperienced, even if she did know how to fight and could use the full strength of her magic, there were six of them. She could tell they were out for her blood now, not amused in the least with her fire trick.
She had the lead and even increased it, but she was sure they could track her scent as she barreled through the trails and back to her campsite. Now what? What does a cat usually do when chased by dogs?
“Tree!” Celia thought desperately.
Silva responded to her prompting and bunched up their
powerful body. She leaped straight up into the branches and gripped the tree trunk with her claws. She climbed up about thirty feet and laid across a sturdy branch, perfectly balanced and at home with the height. The wolves charged into her campsite and looked up the tree and growled.
She wanted to giggle for a minute, but then she realized the wolves weren’t leaving.
She was stuck… and totally screwed, her clothes, keys, and ID were down there, even if she could jump from tree to tree and escape, they would find her. She had no idea what to do about the mess she was in and felt immensely guilty.
“I’m sorry Silva, I didn’t think this through very well.”
Silva felt sluggish in her head, tired. She wondered about that, maybe she should have had more for Silva to eat after the change, or maybe it was just because it was their first shift in a long time, they’d also just broken through her mother’s spell, and they’d been attacked and chased by a pack of dogs. There were loads of reasons to be tired.
She was scared and stressed out, she had no idea what they wanted, why they didn’t just let her go, it was all too much. She felt, she knew, that she was about to change back, if she did it up here she’d be dead, probably fall out of the tree. If she went down… they’d probably kill her. The decision was taken out of her hands, she felt herself surge to the front of their being as Silva faded away to the background. Her body started to shape and flow back into a human shape. She could still feel Silva there though, as if the great cat looked over her shoulder, completely aware yet not in charge.
She felt a sheen of moisture in her eyes, this is what it was supposed to feel like. Two of them sharing the same body and soul, it felt right. Before her arms and hands could fully reform she slipped right off the branch. She tried to scream but nothing came out. She grabbed at her magic and pushed a wave of air straight down, she tried to balance her need against the point the magic would make Silva lose it and break her concentration. She landed hard and had the wind knocked out of her and her head hit one of the roots at the base of the tree trunk and a stab of pain went through her skull. She passed out disgusted with herself, she’d finally found herself and now… she was pretty sure she was going to die.
Witch's Moon: A Celia Winters Novel Book 1 Page 5