by Drew Cross
I leave Ghost in the car, whispering placations to settle him back down and ignoring his indignant glare at me through the glass as I shut him inside. The lay-by overlooks an expanse of fields, the view a pleasing study in geometry viewed in isolation at day break; I feel the soft attention of air flow up from the slope below. My phone is initially illusive in the folds of my pocket, masquerading as a wallet and then as folded leaves of paper, eventually my fingers recognize its contours and lift it out.
“I don't need to know what it was or even why it happened; I just need to know that it won't happen again. Promise me that and we'll talk.” The message is from Karen's phone.
I feel her presence and the presence of others, my spirit as a physical being watching over me from up above. I see the faces of Meg and Will animated and alive with emotion, Marcus grinning that broad grin and teasing me gently, Karen astride me now eyes aflame with desire and beyond them all in the distance, the dark faces of Arachnid Jones and Levi Evil full of malice.
I feel as if I have been brought back to life again, high with the possibilities of finally emerging from the suffocating darkness back into the brilliance of the suns rays. There are new dreams carried on the movements of air out here now, the sensation is unmistakeable. I feel the vampire that I have invented as an identity for myself being released from a life lived full of secrecy down in the gloom below.
I am still afraid but the fear is gradually receding, and I am ready for the hurt of caring, the pain of sharing once more. Karen's message was deliberately guarded and cool but I am prepared to let her in, or at least to take the chance of letting her really see me before she makes her decision about the shape of our future. Perhaps I'll take her to my special hollow to talk without the black cloak of my personal barriers up in place. There are certain things that I cannot tell her quite yet, but with Marcus as my confidante I don't need to deal with those alone any more either.
I open my eyes again, seeing the sun bleed out across the horizon in shades of red, touching the swaying honey gold fields with long fingers under a soft purple sky. I feel the first unexpected tear escape down my face and I embrace the feelings that flood me like a tidal wave; love and madness, redemption and rage, passion and pain.
Make your peace with the living, there'll be time later for the dead.