by Jaime Marks
He knelt and closed his eyes ignoring them. There was no reason to play into their hands. Sooner or later they would need to understand that he was not some tool that they could shape and mold for their use. It did not matter what lies they told, how they tried to resculpt his heritage, or even what they offered him, he would not fall prey to their manipulations. He was loyal to his Master.
Grifyn sighed as he watched Wytheryn. It was difficult to gage how much the boy heard and how much he simply ignored. More often than not he tuned him out. Really if Wycelion had not been here he suspected that he wouldn’t have even acknowledged his presence.
“Thank you for allowing me to see him, Commander,” Wyce breathed deeply. “I know that really with my rank I could have come at any point, but I thought it best to use official channels so as not to create suspicion.”
He arched a brow, “Why would you think any would find this suspect?”
He shrugged. “Some of the Guardians and full Fae tend to be skeptical and the Brood is one of the more legendary factions. We were a faction within a faction really, until Cymeryn’s desertion and Father’s death. Even still the Brood is among the strongest entities of the Shade. Aside from that many of the unawakened have opinions of those who refuse Redemption. If I want to make a life here I cannot be viewed as showing him favoritism simply because he is my brother.”
“That may be true but among the Fae family comes first. I have no issue with you visiting your brother on your own, just do not enter the cell without permission from either Byryn or myself,” Grifyn replied. “It is not that I do not trust you but it is better this way. Wytheryn has proven resourceful and cunning. I do not want you to take fault for his actions.”
He nodded as they walked down the corridor. “Have you spoken to Byryn yet?”
“Briefly. To be honest Wyce, I think he is avoiding me.”
“Likely he is. I met with him earlier but at any mention of what occurred he attempted to change the subject. There is a shame to my brother, Commander. It is something I have not seen in him so clearly since the weeks following Felycia’s assault. Our Father forced his actions and still he bore the blame himself. I can see the same reaction.” The male met his eyes. “Whatever happened in the Dark Domain, he is carrying the burden of it heavily.”
Grifyn weighed out his words. He had not yet seen Staryana and the Kings of Balance were guarding her carefully from even her mate. He was afraid to know the truth of it, but he knew they meant to meet later once the young were more settled. There was no need to upset any of them further by discussing it in their presence.
“Thank you for letting me know, and I will talk to him. This may be hard for you to understand, Wycelion, but I do care for him as if he were my blood born son. For me there is no difference, he is mine and I will care for and protect both he and Felycia as such,” he explained solemnly. “Byryn may simply need time, however.”
“I know, and the love you share is clear. I do not question it. In truth I’m grateful that he and Felycia have found that connection with you. It is something they have both needed,” the male admitted. “We have always been close but Byryn often forgets how much older than him I really am. I have almost six years on him. In many ways he is still young and there are things he needs that only a real Father could provide for him. You provide that for him, Grifyn.”
He smiled slightly considering it. “I know we do not share the same bonds, Wyce, but as their brother I do consider you part of my family. If you need anything, you will come to me.”
The male smirked smugly. “If I need anything. In the meantime I am due on duty.”
He nodded. “I will see you later.”
As he watched him go his thoughts drifted to his young. Byryn was struggling, that much was clear. He could corner him and force him to discuss this, but really with the way he was avoiding him it was best to give him some space and time to come to terms with things. In order to address an issue one first needed to know how they felt about it. His son had barely had chance to process what had occurred.
Once he and Star were reunited he hoped that things settled for them both. He worried for them. On the surface both Byryn and Kyle seemed fine, but he knew Byryn was more than adept at putting on an impenetrable mask. He suspected his progeny was the same. Years of practice had taught them to hide their emotions, guard their weakness, and manage in solitude. They would have to watch them both closely. Though he suspected Astryn would prevent Kyle from withdrawing as he may be inclined to, Byryn and Star may well choose to isolate themselves to avoid any scrutiny.
It was something they need not worry about. None would judge them for whatever occurred. They had done what was necessary to survive. All they could do them was show them they were loved and accepted. Hopefully time would lessen their wounds.
Talerys watched impatiently as Alyric packed the books and scrolls he would need to attend to his duties in the Realm of Balance. This situation was deplorable. The only saving grace was that so far as they had been made aware, the Prince of Night had yet to be rescued.
“Your outrage rolls off you in waves, old friend,” Alyric commented. “You need to get a handle on yourself before we deal with the Kings. I know she is yours, and it must be difficult to be away from her, but if you go in there off balance Lord Cymeryn will turn it against you. Trust me, he is a master strategist.”
It was the truth but it did not help him to calm. He had claimed Astryn. She was his. That she dared to cling to this fantasy that Kyle a Cymeryn would want her, that he would free her from him even after what had occurred between them, made him furious.
“You should let me assert the full leverage of my claims, Alyric.”
“No, we will only use that if completely necessary. You know she will be shunned if that knowledge ever comes to Light. Aside from the dishonor she would face, accepting her after such disgrace may well harm your standing with the Scholars. I do not wish this to reflect poorly upon you.”
Grinding his teeth he bit back on his retort. It would damage her reputation but none would be able to argue that she belonged to him after he revealed her. Still, only her Father could accept the Decree of Bonding. Angering him now would not suit. He would have to follow his rules in this.
“Fine, but what would you have me do? How am I supposed to challenge this?” In truth without the Prince there to assert a claim he was uncertain why he was even involved. The main dispute would be over her Custyionship.
“You need to be there to request the Right of Courting and claim First Rights. If the boy has not yet been saved, and I have doubt that he ever will be, there should be none to contest it,” he reasoned. “I may or may not be able to regain my rights. I am uncertain of their exact reasons for attempting to usurp them in the first place, but so long as you have rights to her there will be little they can do. Besides, you are her mate, they cannot deny you.”
“Yes, but you said that the King of Night contested that Prince Kyle was her mate. How can I disprove it if you will not allow me to argue that I have already claimed her?”
“As I said, without him present there is little they can do.”
He sighed knowing her Father was right. Playing these games was an annoying waste of time. She should be here, beside him, helping him to prepare to claim his place as Head Scholar of the Realm of Light. Instead she had him traipsing through the realms to bring her back. Once he reclaimed her she would learn that he would no longer tolerate this foolishness. She was his female. She would do as he said or she would pay the consequences.
“Come, Talerys. Let us go so that we may have my daughter back in your arms before the eve,” Alyric smiled though he sighed as he patted his shoulder.
Back in his arms indeed. He fully intended to get her back, and once he did, he would tie her to the damned bed and show her exactly who she belonged to. This time he would ensure she did not forget it. Apparently his last lesson was not well enough learnt.
Chapter 17
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nbsp; “Thanks Dad.” Star forced a smile as she looked up at Marcus. They were standing outside the door to her bedchambers and he looked like he wanted to do nothing more than mist her away. She knew her Dad was worried. They all were, but it was starting to piss her off.
Really this was ridiculous. Everyone was handling her with kid gloves and acting like they needed to protect her from herself and her mate. They didn’t get it. All she really needed was Byryn.
She knew he was in their room but he was blocking her. He was blocking everyone. This entire situation was tearing them both apart. They hadn’t even seen each other since she’d freaked out and Marcus had misted her to the Divine Being. They’d been blocking each other and blocked from each other so much in the last few days that she had no idea what he was feeling aside from guilty.
She stared at the door as if it were an electric fence ready to fry her. What if he couldn’t look at her without seeing what happened? Or he was ashamed of how completely she gave herself over?
“Are you sure you don’t want me to stay? I don’t mind trying to talk to him. If he’s having as hard a time as you say, perhaps I should,” he offered.
She shook her head. “No. He needs to see that I still trust him. I’ll find a way to help him through this.”
Byryn was her mate and she really wished that her Dad would stop trying to protect her from even him. He needed her and she needed him. Her place was by his side and they all needed to stop. He would never hurt her. He’d protected her.
Marcus nodded but sighed. “I’m sorry we couldn’t save you both from this. We should have seen it.”
This was what she couldn’t take. Everything that had happened was Lazurys’ fault yet everyone blamed themselves for it; Byryn worst of all. The fucked up part about that was he’d been victimized every bit as much as she had. They were in this together, but because of some screwed up, warped sense of responsibility and his past, he was shouldering all of it.
It didn’t take away her pain. It didn’t make the memories fade. It didn’t even help her handle her own guilt. All it did was leave her feeling incredibly alone and like everyone somehow thought she was incapable of being responsible for her own actions.
“There isn’t anything you or Cymeryn could’ve done. None of you are to blame. Byryn couldn’t have changed things and you can’t hold what happened against him. The only other option would have left me in the same state as Tatyna’s in.”
Her Dad cringed but nodded in exasperation before facing her again. “Just…if you need anything, either of you, please ask.”
“We will,” she lied.
She and Byryn needed to get through this together. If they couldn’t rely on each other, no one else would possibly be able to understand. She gave her Dad a hug and stood there as he finally misted from her side.
Focusing on the door again she steeled herself and walked through it, closing it behind her. Byryn sat on the bed. There room was far Darker than normal, but Dark emotions shifted essence and apparently seemed to have an impact in the enclosed spaces in their environment.
He didn’t look up at her. He didn’t even move. “How are you, brightness?” He mumbled through his hands.
She sighed and walked over, sitting next to him on the bed. He turned his head to face her, balling his hands into fists but still leaning against them. His eyes were red and irritated.
“Don’t shut me out. You might not believe it and I know you blame yourself for everything. I know that this is hard on you, but I need you, Byryn.”
Her voice was shaky and broken. It was the first real emotion she’d allowed herself all day. It felt like she had to hide everything around her parents. They thought she was fragile, and she was, but they only made her feel weak for it. They didn’t mean to. They just acted like she was so damned breakable. The only place she felt safe, felt she could really reveal the damage she felt, was with Byryn.
He shook his head. “I know. I know you do. I just…I don’t understand how you could even want to touch me.” A tear streamed down his face. “I convinced you to…I seduced you into…”
Tears streamed down her own cheeks as their shared pain flowed between them. “I love you, Byryn. You did what you thought was right. It would’ve been unbearable without you and I’m not the only one he hurt. It wasn’t your fault.”
Byryn’s body shook and she could feel the rage he held caged just below the surface. Rage they both felt. He turned to her suddenly feeling her emotions clearly.
“No. Don’t latch onto that.” He reached out moving the hair from her face. “If we hold onto the rage it’ll open us to hate and hatred breeds Darkness. That’s what he wants. We can’t give him what he wants,” his voice was pleading and strained.
She nodded but hesitated. “Do you still feel him sometimes? In your mind? Not his voice but almost like…an echo of a presence?”
He nodded. “It’s like he’s trying to call to us but the connection is so weak he can’t get through. We can’t give him any opening, Staryana. Do you understand? If either of us gives into him even a little, because of the shared bond, not only to each other but to him…we’ll both fall. I can’t bear that. Promise me you’ll let the rage go?”
“Then hold me, Byryn, because I don’t think I can do this without you and no one else will understand,” she cried.
The delicate shell of a wall that was barely holding her together snapped. She was breaking but before she could crumble he wrapped his arm around her pulling her into his lap. She was desperate for his touch, desperate to feel closer to him, but more than that she was hungry for things she didn’t even understand. She grabbed his robes, clinging to him, kissing his chest but he pulled her back taking her face in his hands.
“Listen to me, baby. I know what you need and I want to so badly, I do, but I can’t right now. There’s a part of me, things I want that I swore I would never expose you to, and I don’t know if I can control these urges right now. I don’t want to hurt you,” his eyes searched hers pleading for understanding and acceptance.
“No, don’t control them, Byryn. Didn’t you ever think I need it to?” She kissed and nipped at his neck feeling the desire in him rise. “I need this, Byryn, but only with you.”
He groaned, “You don’t know what you’re asking for, Staryana.”
She pushed him back on the bed as she slid her gown from her body, her hips swaying as she ground against his cock. He stared up at her with an intense hunger as she moved against him in only her panties and heels. She hadn’t bothered with a bra. His hands roughly gripped her hips pushing her down, grinding up into her as he sat up and captured her mouth with such forced that it made her whimper. When he released her he bit and kissed up her neck.
“You’re testing my resolve, baby,” he growled as his fingers bit into her skin. “Do you have any idea what I want to do to you right now? How badly I want to take you to your breaking point? I want to make you beg in pleasure and need while you cry in the pain I gift you, to bind you and have you completely at my mercy, succumbing to my will. I want to hurt you, baby.” He gripped her roughly by the hair pulling her face to his as he bit her lip. “Look at me. Is that what you want? Do you want me to hurt you, Staryana? Because if we do this right now, I will hurt you.”
She moaned softly. His words and the power he held over her body going straight to her core. Somewhere in her mind she knew this wasn’t normal for either of them, but she honestly couldn’t give a fuck.
“Hurt me, Byryn, please,” she begged.
Her words echoed through him. He knew he shouldn’t allow this but he needed it so badly. If they both needed it maybe he shouldn’t fight it. It was like a switch flipped for him and he couldn’t shut it off. If it was the same for her, then she needed this every bit as much as he did, only she couldn’t possibly understand what she was craving, not like he did.
Byryn kissed her roughly then released her, setting her on the floor. Breathing deeply he stood and checked the locks on
both doors before sealing the room with his essence, hoping it would keep the twins out. When he turned to face her she was kneeling there on the floor, staring up at him with a hunger in her eyes he’d never seen in them before. Seeing her like this made his sex kick in his pants. Damn he wanted her, but he needed to know they were even on the same page.
He crossed his arms and leaned back against the wall as his eyes ran over her body. “Are you sure you want to do this? You’ve seen my past. You weren’t too thrilled with this part of it if I recall. Think about it, Staryana. You know how I treated, Keiyla, how I used and abused her body for my pleasure. Is that what you want?”
Despite her stubborn determination he saw how she bristled when he mention Kei. There were far more brutal examples of how he’d treated his slaves when he lived under Trevyn, but Keiyla had been the only one who meant anything. Whether they unlocked this door and let out his demons or not, he’d never even reach that level with her, but she needed to know how bad it could get.
“I don’t like the idea of you with any other females. It wasn’t this part of your past I had issue with.”
She was lying, but not to him, to herself. Something was changing in her and she couldn’t admit it yet. She couldn’t handle the things she was feeling any more than he could.
“You aren’t my slave, Staryana. You’re my mate. You should never have to be treated this way.” She went to get up to come to him but she needed to understand what she was asking for. “No. Don’t move. If you want this you will stay there on your knees until I tell you to move.”
He pushed off the wall and walked around her. “That is what this means. You’re giving me complete control over your body and mind for as long as I take it. It means I’m going to bring you immense pleasure, but I’ll also take you to your limit with pain and you’re going to like it because I tell you to. It means that you are submitting your will to me completely, trusting me completely. There are no secrets, no lies.”