by Jaime Marks
After that he had been at their mercy. The boy was tossed into a group home when he wasn’t subject to his Father or Grandfather’s grooming, generally to recover from the damage they had done to his body. Over the next four years his life was nothing short of hell. He was forced to take part in his Grandfather’s depravity and when he refused, he was subjected to it. Any sign of compassion or disobedience, and there were many, he was punished for.
Kyle became obedient, learning quickly how to hide his true thoughts and feelings in order to survive. He soaked up any and all knowledge of the Priests that he had been exposed to, training himself to cast in minor ways despite being unawakened. He hid his true strength, using what he had learned to protect his brothers as best he could. They were the only Light in his bleak existence.
When they sent him to monitor and protect Staryana he had thought he must have finally pleased them in some way. What he had thought had been a reprieve, however, turned into another form of punishment when they handed him over to John. It had not fully ended his torment, but in many ways it had been easier had been an easier existence, allowing him to find his footing.
At least John had attempted to actually prepare him for life amongst the Shade. Neither Alayne nor Syneous ever seemed to care to train him beyond curbing both his humanity and his connection to the Light. He still endured beatings and punishments, but the truth of the matter was what Alayne had put him through had been far worse. If he went against John however, he brought it to his Father and Alayne, watching while they punished him.
Still they became quite close. As much as John may have abused and manipulated him, he also protected and cared for him. Kyle had learned to rely on the male as the closest thing he had ever had to a friend.
The eve of the assault on Stephynia, they had argued. Kyle had tried to talk John out of it. He argued that if John meant to claim her as his own she was too far from her awakening and it would only drive her away. John had beat him and promised if he showed any weakness, if he ruined his time with Stephynia for him, he would ensure his Grandfather knew the interest he had taken in his younger brothers’ and his perceived obsession with Staryana.
He had threatened to serve them up to the Priest as sacrificial lambs to be used to break him. Apparently they had not informed even John that Staryana was in fact his sister or that Kyle’s true task was to protect her. In a respect he’d tied his hands. He didn’t want to put his brothers in the line of fire and his Father and Alayne would definitely use them against him if they realized they were a weakness. Even if he wanted to take the risk he couldn’t draw any further attention to Staryana if he wanted to keep her safe, even from himself and their line.
Mythos frowned as his caria came into view. As much as he needed to sort through these memories, it was not something he really wanted to see. Even the idea of what she endured was difficult to bear.
When the assault began she was drugged, but appeared no worse than mildly intoxicated. John and Kyle kissed and teased her, slowly removing her clothes as they seduced her. They coaxed her into drinking from John, slowly losing herself to them. Then it was Kyle who had lost himself.
None had ever touched him without either breaking him down or bringing him pain, but Stephynia was so lost that her hands ran teasingly over his body. She tempted and seduced him every bit as much as he had seduced her. He had never had a sexual encounter that wasn’t sick and depraved but as they touched they brought one another only pleasure.
As much as the assault on Stephynia enraged Mythos, it was tame compared to what Kyle had been forced to partake in. He could feel Kyle’s emotions and what he sensed in her as they touched each other. It sickened Mythos to see it, but there was no depravity between them; more a drunken, lustful passion. It was almost as if there was some connection between them that neither understood as she responded to the gentle way he caressed her. She pleaded for him to take her but he refused choosing instead to only tease her body.
John had warned him, ordering him to take her but Kyle said he wanted to deny her, savoring in her torment until she was out of the drunken haze so he could beat her as she fought. Really he was trying to make it as easy on her as possible but John had seen him and Alayne with females before so he accepted it, joking about how broken they would leave her and how he would have to take days just to tend her back to health.
While the others forced her to take them in her mouth he tried to make it enjoyable for her. When she became resistant he restrained her more to protect her than to harm her, but he was still drunk on her. She was something that made him feel right in a way he could not understand. The way he touched her and kissed her was beyond his control. It fed a need in him that made him feel things he had thought dead in himself. In a way, he was thanking her for reminding him that he was not just what his Father and Grandfather wanted him to be. His words to her did not match his actions, but he knew if John suspected what he was really feeling he would pay dearly and perhaps she would even feel his wrath.
When he kissed her on the head a part of him wanted to cry because he knew he could not risk being near her. He knew she would hate him for the role he had played, and he imbued that kiss with such tender affection for her. Forcing himself to leave her he walked away in an attempt to spare them both. She was something he knew he could never have and felt he would never deserve. Leaving her without allowing any connection to foster would protect them both from the rage of his family.
He watched a little longer before he withdrew from him, but Kyle remained on his knees. It was as if he were waiting for some form of punishment. The boy carried so much weight, such burden from all he had endured.
Mythos considered everything he saw. His nephew had been through hell and come out of it with a strength he respected. He went out of his way to protect his sister consistently putting himself in harm’s way to do so. He watched out for his brothers from a far. He had even tried to protect Stephynia.
The connection he felt to her that eve made sense in a respect. The part of her that was his would have reached out to Kyle’s essence as Mythos was his uncle. She likely sensed the Terisyion Lines that ran through him and the Light in them both. She was also the only Fae aside from his Mother that he had ever interacted with. Her essence had not burned him, it had drawn out his Light making him feel things he had not allowed in ages.
In truth he had become every bit as drunk on her as she had been on John’s essence. She had clung to him through it all, seeking comfort and pleasure from him in her drunken haze. Kyle had savored in it as he had tried to protect her and ease what she had been through. In the morn he had crucified himself for everything he had put her through, seeing it more clearly. He still did. It was why he owned the blame of this so fiercely.
If John had known the passion they had shared he would likely have killed him seeing him as a danger to his own connection with her. Kyle wanted nothing more than to protect her. He gladly took details following her to keep her safe, but he could not risk allowing her to see his compassion for her or allow her to get too close. He would not even speak to her if she attempted it.
When they had come to the realm he had intentionally brought attention to her in front of Byryn and Grifyn, knowing that she was Staryana’s best friend. He had hoped it would afford her some protection. Every action the boy took had an appearance of Darkness but seemed to have a hidden dual intention of protecting those he cared for and shielding himself from harm. In many ways he was every bit the strategist his uncle, now his Father was. He could definitely see the Cymarcion in the boy.
It was difficult to accept some of the choices he had made and actions he had taken, but there had never been an easy way of it for him. When he was forced to act in Darkness his guilt consumed him and he hid it, often provoking beatings from John or even Byryn as a sort of self-imposed punishment.
As much as it had been difficult to see him and Stephynia together in such a way he could not hold it against him. He had been in no pos
ition to truly deny John and even if he had it would not have saved her from it. If anything the attack would have been even more brutal without Kyle to temper it. At any rate, his Redemption and awakening washed away the past and now that Mythos better understood it, it was time to move beyond it.
“Please rise, Kyle,” he requested waiting but the boy only shook his head. He went to him kneeling in front of him as he took him by his shoulders. “You did not wish to hurt her. I will not deny what you felt for her and how you touched her was difficult for me to see, but it is not exactly as you portray it. You attempted to ease her, to make what you knew you could not prevent pleasurable for her, and protected her in the only way you knew how. I am not condoning your actions, only seeing them for what they are.”
He sighed noticing the tears that rolled down his face which he attempted to hide. He had been forced to relive all Mythos had seen. He attempted to embrace the boy but he pulled away and rose to his feet, turning from him.
“I should go check on, Astryn,” he stated levelly but Mythos could sense the barely restrained pain and rage that was consuming him. It was all self-directed.
“Kyle, I apologize. I did not mean…”
“It’s fine, Mythos. I knew you would go back in my mind to see her. I just have duties to attend to and I don’t trust leaving Astryn out of my sight with Talerys in the realm,” he replied and left the study without giving him a chance to say anything further.
Mythos collapsed onto the couch. He had hoped they would have found some middle ground, instead he had likely alienated the boy further. His past with Stephynia was…difficult to handle, but he was capable of seeing the truth of what it was. He could move beyond it if the boy would let it go himself. The issue was he did not know how to mend the distance between them and he feared he had only made it worse.
Chapter 33
Steph looked around at their work, glad that it was ready. It was a good thing Astryn had helped because she really didn’t think she would’ve had it done otherwise. Sure she could’ve asked the servants, but she really didn’t think they’d understand what she was asking them to do. Luckily Astryn had a decent enough grasp on Earth customs and cultures that she’d understood what she was talking about.
“How in the world did you acquire all this stuff?” Astryn asked in awe. “I was lucky to even get one Earth item a month.”
She laughed. “Well, Byryn grew up on Earth and he likes to pamper Star.” She shrugged. “I might have taken advantage of the fact that he can send for almost anything. All I really have to do is ask. I’m sure if you asked him he’d get you what you want too.”
Sitting down at one of the two tables they’d set up to do nails she shook her head. “No, I’m no one to Byryn.”
Steph rolled her eyes. “Astryn, you’re Kyle’s mate. They’re blood bound or something. He’s become very important to Byryn, which means so have you.”
“Maybe. This is all so surreal sometimes, like walking in a dream.” She sighed, “Or waking from a nightmare.”
There was something almost too familiar in her eyes that gave Steph pause, but…she was Fae. She’d grown up Fae. Her family was Fae, and Talerys might be a dick but even he was Fae. It didn’t make sense but she could see that deep rooted pain.
“Did Talerys hurt you?”
She started in shock and fear as her essence drew back like she was blocking. “Why would you ask me that? I understand why Kyle thinks so, but we weren’t even discussing it. Why would you bring that up now?”
The slight panic in her voice bothered Steph. This girl was hiding something, hardcore. “I don’t know. Something in your eyes I guess. You just seem like you’re remembering something painful,” she admitted as she turned to set up the last of the hair supplies.
“I…I was thinking about my Father and how he wished to force me to take a mate. We’ve never exactly had a good relationship. For some reason he has always believed the worst about me and felt that I needed to be kept under his thumb, or that of my mate’s, in order to protect me from myself.” She sighed, “It’s why he was trying so hard to find me a male that would be a suitable mate in his eyes.”
“That’s ridiculous. If you never make mistakes you don’t grow as a person,” she reasoned. “Everyone makes mistakes.”
Really she just hoped that she didn’t make too many. She’d already made her fair share with John and she’d never exactly been great at walking the line. Now she was about to be Queen. When she thought about it the pressure was overwhelming. She knew it was her birthright, Alysse had said she was supposedly made for this role, but it didn’t make it any easier to swallow.
“I guess, but my Father believes that young females are foolish and impulsive. In his mind we don’t know how to think properly for ourselves regarding the future. Living with him wasn’t always easy.”
“No, I suppose not, but at least he didn’t ignore you. I grew up…well,” she paused trying to decide how she was supposed to explain her memories. “It’s complicated but I stayed with my Grandmother for a few years after my Father was captured. My mother died when I was six. She was a cold woman. She provided a roof over my head and food to eat but really we never talked. I can count the actual conversations we had on one hand. It always left me feeling worthless and like I didn’t matter.”
“I’m sorry. That must’ve been awful.”
“It was, but when I came here and met Mythos and the rest of our family,” she smiled. “Let’s just say their love is strong enough to overcome the pain. They’re your family now, too, Astryn. Give it a few days. You’ll understand what I mean.”
“I think I already do. It amazes me how much Kato and Cymeryn care about me sometimes.”
“Mythos as well. I know he wasn’t as accepting of your relationship when you got here, but it was only because he was worried about you. His issues aren’t with you. They’re with Kyle, but I think they’re working through all that.”
At least she hoped they were. Things had been too tense and she didn’t really like being the cause of it. Because of her past they’d almost set a dangerous precedent that could’ve taken them back to the brink of a civil war.
She had Cerulyion’s memories. She knew how bad things had gotten because of the gap between the Pure Fae and Elemental Fae. Now she’d almost caused the same thing to happen with the Redeemed Fae. It was shit like this that made her question if she was fit for her throne.
Steph felt a tender caress, a reassurance, but it wasn’t her King. She was blocking him. She always did when she was feeling overwhelmed by this crap. He was just so sure and had such faith in her that she didn’t want to upset him. It was just difficult to find her place here. The only place she really felt comfortable was alone, at Mythos’ side.
No, what she was feeling was John trying to comfort her. Apparently he was still picking up on her doubts and fears and she had a hell of a lot of them. Every time she felt him she got nauseous but there wasn’t anything she could do about it. It was weaker now and she hoped eventually it would dissipate and fade completely, but in the meantime she just ignored it.
If the chance presented itself she’d talk to Cymeryn about it, but he’d pretty much already told her that waiting it out was the only thing they could do about it. There wasn’t any reason to worry them about it further. John was locked up down in the penal colony. She and Mythos were leaving for the Realm of Light soon. Besides, she suspected that once they bound it would break whatever hold John had on her.
Shaking the thoughts from her head she turned back to Astryn. “Do you know anything about Earth telecommunications?”
“No. I’ve read the reports on the work you were doing though. It sounds interesting.”
“How would you like to get a firsthand look at the equipment? I need to test out the prototypes and get the cables run if they work. I was supposed to wait for Byryn but really if I can get one of the twins to help us, it’ll be fine.”
She smiled. “I’d like that.
”
“Come on.” She motioned and they left the small conference room that they’d pretty much transformed into a day spa.
As they walked down the hall Steph tried not to think about the ball of dread forming in the pit of her stomach every time she thought about the path that was laid out before her. It might be her destiny to be Queen. She might even have the memories of every Fae that had ever been Cerulyion in her mind, but she still felt completely unprepared.
She didn’t understand these people, or their customs. The way they treated females like they were breakable was foreign to her. Even the Cerulyions were further advanced than that. Females of her line were trained as Warriors. They were expected to hold their own in battle and they certainly weren’t coddled like she often saw happening in the Palace.
What bothered her more was that from what she understood things were a lot more lax here than in the Realm of Light. It literally felt like she was preparing to take a step back in time to the Middle Ages sometimes and she hated it. She wasn’t made for this shit no matter what they thought.
She missed her laptops, her cell phone, and her freaking mp3 player. She missed being left alone even if she had hated it at the time. It was like going from one extreme to the other. It was too much sometimes and she wasn’t just talking about the tech.
How was she ever going to get used to this and understand their culture enough to lead these people? The only thing she knew for sure was that she had better get used to it and figure it out because the whole of the Kingdoms was counting on her. They expected her to do great things and help end the war. They heralded her as some sort of miracle and expected her to bring back the glory of the Cerulyions. It was all too much and she often felt like she was drowning in it but she’d better learn to swim real quick. This was who she was. This was her life now.