by Opal Carew
He sighed and looked out the window. “I’ve got to be heading back soon, but I thought I could at least buy you dinner.” He wagged his brows. “So our first date would at least include something other than me making you come.”
She laughed, a little snort coming at the end. “I think it was a perfect date, with you making me come multiple times. And we have room service here from the restaurant on the ground level, so we don’t have to even get prettied up.”
Running his fingers through her hair, his eyes took in all her features. “You are as pretty as a woman can get, Cheyenne. You’re really beautiful. Inside and out.”
Her heart caught for a second. “That’s so nice of you to say, Thad.” Her stomach took that opportunity to rumble.
He laughed. “I’m hungry, too. How do we order?”
Chapter Seven
An hour later, after a shower which included a lot of touching and kisses, they sat, completely dressed, at her dining room table enjoying rib eye steak dinners, complete with baked potatoes and sour cream, veggies, and chocolate cake for dessert.
She’d opened a bottle of red wine, but when she saw him just barely tasting it, she went to the kitchen and brought back a bottle of beer.
“Thanks.” He took a gulp. “Not much for the fancy stuff.”
“I like that about you.” She liked a whole lot about him, but she wanted him to trust her, confide in her so she could help him with his haunting problem.
“Thad, will you tell me about the baby?”
He stopped chewing and looked at her.
“I really want to understand what she’s trying to tell me, but…” She set down her fork. She needed to prime the pump. “When I was twenty, stupid, and stubborn, I got married.”
His brows shot up.
“Long story, but I was looking for something meaningful in my life. At least, that’s what my therapist tells me. After a few months, I ended up pregnant.” She shook her head. “I think my husband did it on purpose. Since our marriage wasn’t all that great, he wanted to solidify his place in the family.” Her mouth curled down into a frown. “Money will do that to people.”
He sat back, playing with his beer bottle. He didn’t say a word.
“I lost the baby at four months, and I was heartbroken, but he just shrugged it off, acted like it wasn’t a big thing, and promised we’d try again as soon as we could.”
Thad’s eyes narrowed, his jaw tightened.
“It was then that I grew up, realized he’d just been a substitute for my father, and probably didn’t love me. I kicked him out, filed divorce papers, and gave him a settlement to make sure he’d never come back into my life.”
Cheyenne leaned forward, looking into Thad’s eyes. “But sometimes at night, I can still feel the presence of that baby.” She swallowed to keep tears from forming.
He let out a long breath, his shoulders sagging.
She worked at her steak a bit longer, giving him time. The meat may as well been tofu for all she could taste through her nervousness.
“Melissa told me she was pregnant two weeks before the accident.” He stared down at his plate. “We decided to wait a few months to tell everyone.”
Cheyenne blinked back tears. His voice held so much pain. “I can’t imagine how it felt to lose them. Just losing my baby was traumatic.” She wiped a tear from her cheek.
He rubbed a fist in his eye. “Is she unhappy?” His words came out a whisper. “She’s been very active the last few days.”
“She’s only unhappy because she wants you to move on. She feels she can’t go to the next dimension because you haven’t done what she’d hoped you’d do.” Cheyenne didn’t know what that was, but she’d follow her inner voice on this. “What did she ask of you that you haven’t done?”
He rubbed his forehead then glanced at her. “Melissa left me a huge insurance policy so I could buy my own ranch.” He shifted in his chair. “She was from an affluent banking family, they owned half the stores in town. She trailer-trashed out to marry me.”
“Thad, you’re not trash. You’re hard working, you’re—”
“Come back with me.” He turned one hand palm-up on the table. “Talk to her again, get her to move on to…wherever.”
“I don’t need to go back there.” She stood, took his hand, and walked to his side, kneeling to look into his eyes. “The answer is here in bold letters. Get off the High Paradise, buy yourself a ranch, start a new life.” She tried to force a soft smile to soften her words.
“It’s not that easy.” He took her hand between both of his. “I have a responsibility to Sayde.”
“Sayde can hire someone just as reliable to replace you. You’ve got to follow your dream.”
“It isn’t a dream anymore. Not without Melissa.” He hung his head.
Cheyenne could barely breathe. He was still attached to his wife? Was it guilt that kept him from gaining closure? “What happened to her, Thad? Tell me?” She had to push this, even if it drove a spike into the heart of their new relationship.
“No.” He stood, nearly tripping on the chair as he stepped backward.
****
Thad nearly fell on his ass as he backed away from Cheyenne. She was asking too much.
“Please tell me what happened.” She stood, holding on to the table as she swayed. “I want to help both of you, but I need to hear—”
“I can’t. I’m not ready.” He hadn’t told anyone what had made Melissa run out of the house that day and race off on her horse.
“It’s been five years. No wonder she can’t break free. You haven’t let her go yet.”
“You’re saying she’s still here because of me?” He wanted to bolt, but needed to hear this even more.
“Possibly. I don’t know. I can’t know until you talk to me.” She stepped toward him. “You know everything about me. My failed marriage, my daddy issues, my guilt over losing my baby.” Her voice broke.
He wanted to go to her, hold her, but that would confuse things, and he was having enough trouble keeping everything clear in his head.
“Thad, I want to know about you, about your scars, about your fears of leaving High Paradise.” She sucked her lower lip for a second. “But that can wait. It’s imperative that I understand your relationship with Melissa first, so I can help her—and you—move on.” Walking to the living room, she patted the couch. “Sit and talk to me. Tell me why neither of you can let go of each other.”
She made it sound like he was still married. Cheating on his wife. Was that how he felt? Shit, he couldn’t do this. He could barely admit to himself how he’d screwed up. Cheyenne. She was everything good, golden, right with the world. He was a mess of dirty secrets. He wasn’t worthy of someone like her. Guilt weighed heavy on him.
“Scars? You want to know about my scars?” He turned on her, fastening his most intense look on her. “They’re from a shitty childhood that ended when I turned seventeen. My father knocked me out with a punch when I lost my job and couldn’t bring home a bottle for him.” He sucked in an uneven breath.
She looked sad, but didn’t run from his tirade.
“Then he threw me out of the house, literally, and unconscious like I was, I landed on my face and broke a couple teeth. I woke up with him kicking me in the ribs, telling me to hit the road. I took him down with the first punch I’d ever swung at him, packed a bag, and got out of town.”
His jaw quivered. He would not break, though. He’d tell her what a low-down piece of crap he was, then get out of her life. “I hitchhiked north, nearly to the Canadian border. Stopped in Libby and knew I could stay there forever. The mountains, the quiet lifestyle. I found a job with Sayde, and she patched me up.”
Tears ran down her face. “Thank you for telling me.”
She wasn’t understanding what he was trying to say. “That’s the shitty life I had, Cheyenne. Dirt poor, homeless, then depending on Sayde because I had no money to live off of.”
“Thad, my father was the exact opposite of
yours.” She held on to the back of the couch. “He ignored me for most of my life. I’ve got scars, too. But they’re inside.”
He rubbed his hands over his face. “I don’t know what I’m doing here, Cheyenne.” He dropped his hands and walked to the door. “We’re from different worlds, different lives. It was selfish of me to come here. It was wrong.” Tucking his hat on his head, he gave her one last glance.
“I don’t know what to say to convince you otherwise. So I’ll just agree with you, and we’ll call it over.” She turned away. “You’re right, Thad. You don’t belong here.”
He left, feeling an ache in his chest he hadn’t felt since Melissa’s funeral. He’d panicked, went off with both barrels. How had this gone so fucking wrong? How had he lost Cheyenne, too?
****
Cheyenne sunk into the couch. She had to let him go, didn’t she? He was more confused than she’d imagined he was. After five years, he still hung on to his deceased wife. Still leaned on the High Paradise ranch even though he had the money to start his own spread. No wonder Melissa was unable to move on.
Why hadn’t Cheyenne stopped him in the kitchen, when he’d strolled right up to her, made her blood heat and her brain slow? If she’d waited until after she’d helped Melissa depart, maybe they’d have had a chance. But no, she’d wanted that instant gratification, the lovely hours spent alone with him. Lovely, until the poisoned memory of his wife came to call.
Cheyenne curled up in a ball, staring at the dark, cold fireplace. Her mother warned her not to become emotionally attached to clients. And this time, she’d gone deep, maybe deeper than she could bounce back from.
A tear rolled over her nose and plopped onto the cushion. “Thad, don’t leave me to drown.”
Three days later, Cheyenne watched the mid-afternoon sun scorch the city out the window of her office on the top floor of the newest office building in Helena. Her mother had loved the prestigious space and bought the top two floors for their practice.
Thad and Melissa had been constantly on her mind since he’d walked out on her. She fluctuated between wanting to call Sayde and just head out to the ranch, and sitting patiently, waiting for Thad to make the first move. Chances were good she’d reach retirement age before that stubborn cowboy called her.
She picked up her ringing cell phone. The readout said, “High Paradise Ranch” but it wasn’t Sayde’s phone number.
Her heart skittered. Was it Thad?
“Hello?”
“Cheyenne?” It was his voice.
She melted a little in her office chair. “Hi, Thad. I’m glad you called.”
He was silent. Silent for too long. He cleared his throat. “Sayde is having a rough time, and I know you’re friends.”
She sat up. “What is it?” Visions of injuries, illnesses, financial ruin flooded her imagination.
“Her horse, Mazie, is down…and won’t be getting up again.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry.” Sayde loved that horse. She’d call her and—
“She won’t leave her stall.” He sounded like he was walking, breathing fast. “She’s been in there for seventeen hours.”
Cheyenne knew Sayde was loyal, but maybe so soon after losing her husband, this was her way of coping. “What does the vet say?”
“Mazie’s not in much pain, but her breathing is labored, and every breath sounds like it’s a fight.” He groaned. “Tears my heart out to hear it.”
She wanted to reach out and hold him. “What’s his opinion?”
“He left a couple hypodermics with us. Clint’s a licensed vet, and can see to it when the time comes.” The words came out like a funeral prayer.
“Okay. I see what you’re saying.” She checked her watch. “I can be there in less than two hours.”
“Good. Thanks, Cheyenne. I…wouldn’t have bothered you if it wasn’t important.”
Meaning, he wouldn’t have called her—ever—if he didn’t have to. “I’m glad you did. Hang on.” She ran to her office door, flung it open, and held the phone away from her ear. “Tracie, would you have the helicopter on the roof as soon as possible?”
Her assistant nodded and picked up the phone, dialing quickly. “Destination?” Tracie held a pen, ready to take down the information.
“Thad?” She spoke into the phone.
“Yeah?”
“Where can I land? Is there somewhere on the ranch for a helicopter to touch down?”
He was silent.
“Thad?”
“Helicopter? Shi…” He coughed. “Yeah, there’s a flat field, no cattle. I’ll text you the coordinates within the next ten minutes.” He sounded like he was running.
“Thanks. I’ll call when I’m close.”
“I appreciate this, Cheyenne.” He hung up.
She stared at the phone for a few seconds. Was this Melissa’s way of getting Cheyenne out to the ranch? Or some other divine intervention? Or just plain coincidence.
“Hold on a second.” Tracie spoke into her phone, looking at Cheyenne.
“Tell him Libby, Montana, the High Paradise Ranch. I’ll have coordinates before we fly.”
“Yes, ma’am.” Tracie relayed the information, then hung up. “Chopper will be on the roof in twenty minutes.”
“Thanks.” She went back into her office. She kept a few articles of clothing in her bathroom closet. Choosing jeans, boots, and a T-shirt, she changed quickly, and stuffed a few other pieces of ranch-appropriate wear in her gym duffle bag.
“Thaddeus McCade, whether either of us wanted this or not, I’m coming your way.”
****
Thad sat in the blue ranch truck watching Cheyenne’s helicopter land. “A helicopter.” Damn if he wasn’t impressed. The sleek, black chopper had her company’s logo on the side, but considering she and her mother were the only two owners of the company, that made Cheyenne mega-rich.
The door opened and she scrambled out, carrying a purse and a small bag. Staying bent over, she ran toward the truck.
He jumped out just as she cleared the rotors and stood, racing toward him. Every cell in his body told him to run to her, grab her up in his arms, and kiss her. He had to fight to keep from doing it. Instead, he took her bag from her and opened the passenger door.
She looked at him for a second, but the sound of the engines gearing up to fly to the regional airport for refueling didn’t allow for any other communication.
Sliding into the driver’s seat, he shifted and drove toward the barn.
“How’s she doing?”
“Mazie’s the same. Sayde…” He shook his head. She was getting more agitated, which didn’t help the horse at all.
“She told me she wasn’t with Barrett when he died.” She glanced at him. “Do you think that has anything to do with what’s happening today?”
“Maybe.” She’d nearly wrecked her car trying to get to the hospital after her husband was brought in with a heart attack. She hadn’t made it in time.
“Sayde’s such a strong woman. It’s got to be hard for you and everyone to see her like this.”
Thad glanced at Cheyenne for a second. She was right about that. He’d been at a loss all morning. Clint had found Mazie laying in her stall right around ten last night. He’d called Thad and the vet, and Thad had gone to Sayde’s house to tell her in person.
She’d dropped her wine glass on the living room rug and ran to the barn.
He’d never seen his boss so vulnerable. “We all love Sayde. There’s nothing we wouldn’t do for her.”
“Including calling the one woman you vowed never to speak to again?” Cheyenne snapped off her seatbelt as he pulled up to the barn.
Chapter Eight
“Now, wait…” Thad put the truck in park and swung his gaze to Cheyenne.
She jumped out and turned to him with a frown. “I shouldn’t have said that. This is about Sayde.” She slammed the truck door and ran into the barn.
He turned off the engine and just sat. Fact was, he had
been trying to come up with a plausible reason to call Cheyenne since the moment he’d left her apartment. Then this happened, and his first thought was, “Sayde needs a friend.”
Now that Cheyenne was here, he’d take the opportunity to have her come to the house again, “commune” with Melissa one more time. See if she could get his wife to move on without the need for him to upset his whole life. Not right now. This wasn’t a good time for him to leave the ranch.
He stepped out of the truck. Of course, when the hell would be a good time? It hadn’t felt right in five years. What was he waiting for? He stepped into the dark barn and let his eyes adjust. Back in Mazie’s stall, Cheyenne’s voice flowed like a calm river. Sayde’s words were punctuated by tears and sniffles.
A shuffling sounded behind him. He turned.
Clint stood with his hat in his hand, shuffling from one foot to the other.
Thad walked over to him. “Thanks for staying with her.”
He nodded. “Wouldn’t be anywhere else. Mazie’s about the same. Hanging on. Probably for Sayde’s sake.”
Thad looked down. Clint had a way with horses, the same way Madam Ruby had with ghosts. “You haven’t had lunch. Go on and get some chow.”
Clint jerked a thumb over his shoulder. “The injections are in the refrigerator in the tack room. If you need me, I’ve got my cell.” The guy sounded as torn up by Mazie’s imminent end as Thad felt.
“You’ll be my first call when Sayde’s ready.”
The man turned on his heel and quietly walked out of the barn.
Thad stepped closer to the last stall, walking as silently as he could.
“…you’d like something to eat? I have a granola bar.” Cheyenne’s voice was followed by crinkling sounds.
“I can’t eat. Not when she’s so restless.” Sayde sounded exhausted. At first, she’d tried to get Mazie up on her feet, but the horse was unresponsive. “Is she still here with us?”