Better vs. Worse

by Mary E Thompson

  Out of the corner of my eye, I watched Ada and Micah talking. He slid an arm around her waist and smiled at her. They were nearly nose to damn nose when she leaned toward him. So much for sleeping around. She looked like she was head over heels for the guy. He said something that made her laugh, and my gut clenched.

  She didn’t laugh when she was with me. These days all she did was avoid me. We barely spoke, and the one time we did over the last few weeks it was oh, God or more or make me come. Yeah, she screamed. A lot. But she didn’t laugh. We didn’t have anything more than sex.

  “What did everyone think?” Micah asked, stepping forward from the corner.

  Kiki looked at Lynn and Braden, letting them answer first.

  Lynn turned her eyes up to Micah and grinned. “Everything was amazing. I was concerned about how much you gave us at first, but the people in the room who are smarter than me convinced me it was perfect. I wouldn’t change a thing.”

  “Same here,” Braden agreed. “Amazing food. You’re a true talent in the kitchen.”

  “Thank you,” Micah said graciously. “That means a lot.” His gaze strayed to Kiki, waiting for her word.

  “It sounds like you got the job,” Kiki said with a grin. “If you’re still interested.”

  Micah nodded, beaming. He turned back to Ada and grabbed her hand, then dragged her with him into the kitchen.

  As soon as the door swung shut, I spun to Kiki. “Are you sure about this?”

  Kiki glanced at Lynn and Braden, giving them a tight smile. “Will you excuse us for just a minute?”

  They nodded, but it was clear they knew more about what was going on than intended. I didn’t want Kiki’s clients to be involved in all this, but they were there.

  I followed my sister into the hall and to her office. She quietly closed the door behind us, then got in my face.

  “What in the hell are you doing? This is my business, Kapena. Those are my clients. You never talk about the workings of the business in front of the very people you are trying to impress. Trying to get to hire you.”

  “I thought they’d already hired you.”

  Her glare turned me to ice. “They did. And they can walk away any second if they think I’m unable to handle what’s going on around here. You sitting in there and undermining Micah looks like you’re saying I can’t be trusted to make the best decisions.”

  “I didn’t mean it like that,” I said sheepishly.

  “Maybe you didn’t, but that’s how it came across. What is wrong with you? You’ve never cared who I hired before. What is your deal with Micah?”

  “I don’t know,” I lied.

  She studied me for a long moment, until I squirmed under her appraisal.

  “You heard them. The food was amazing. He’s very talented. Obviously, there’s a lot about him I don’t know, but Ada trusts him. They’ve been spending a lot of time together lately. I think she has a thing for him. And I’m not about to let your unease screw things up for her.”

  A thing? She had a thing for him? No fucking way!

  “Is she sleeping with him?” I choked out.

  Kiki shook her head, giving me a second to breathe. “I don’t know. She’s just with him a lot. It doesn’t matter if they’re sleeping together or not. She trusts him, which makes it easier for me to trust him.”

  I tried to suck air into my lungs, but my body didn’t know how to do that anymore. Ada was dating Micah a week after she screwed me and told me she was going to sleep with as many men as she could. It didn’t make any sense, but I had no right to ask her about her life.

  “Hey, um, I gotta go. I’ll see you later,” I stammered, fumbling with the doorknob to get the hell away from there as quickly as possible.

  Kiki looked at me like I was crazy but didn’t stop me. Only when I reached the door did I pause when I heard my name.

  “Hey, wait up, Kapena,” Braden said.

  I stopped and forced my lips to curl up. “What’s up?”

  “You’re going to be at our wedding, right?”

  I shook my head. “I don’t normally go to the weddings. Unless Kiki needs me to fill in.”

  “You should come. That’s some killer food, and it’d be great to see you again.”

  I nodded. “Yeah, sure.” I couldn’t say no to one of Kiki’s clients. I’d already screwed up enough.

  “And just so you know, I don’t think your girl likes the chef. I got more of a friends vibe from them.”

  A shocked laugh burst out of me. I should have known he was watching everything and taking it all in. He pegged Ada as the woman I wanted from the second she walked into the room. It didn’t surprise me that he was cataloguing the whole interaction.

  “Thanks, but I don’t think she wants me to be anything more than I am.”

  “Well, then you need to convince her you’re more. And my business ideas will go a long way toward making it all happen.”

  I nodded with a half-laugh. A lot of people made promises and broke them as soon as they were out of sight. I wasn’t going to hold out any hope that Braden would stay in touch, but he got me thinking. I could make a few changes. I’d never be the guy Ada imagined herself with, or the guy my dad wanted me to be, but I could be better than I was.

  It was time for me to grow up.

  Chapter Twelve

  I thought about Ada and Micah all afternoon. I worked on my board and almost screwed it up because I was focused on Ada and Micah and all the things they were doing.

  Dammit.

  I finally gave up and went inside to cook dinner. I stared at my phone for far too long and nearly burned my damn food. I stirred the vegetables and added a couple pieces of chicken before I sent her a text.

  Cooking dinner. You hungry?

  I’d never invited Ada over before. Green was not a good color on me. I wanted to be the cool guy who could go out with a woman and not worry about who else she was seeing, but nothing was cool with Ada. She had me twisted up in knots tighter than a boy scout.

  Always.

  I took a breath and started to thumb a response when another text from her beeped in.

  Have plans though. Rain check?

  I fisted the phone and nearly threw it against the wall. More images of her and Micah flashed through my head before I could stop them. I knew what she sounded like and looked like, and I didn’t want any other man to have that privilege.

  Sure.

  I tossed the phone on the counter and told myself I wasn’t going to look at it again. No matter what.

  Beep.

  I ignored it. I wasn’t going to look. I didn’t care.

  “Son of a bitch.”

  I snatched the phone and swiped the screen so I could read the message from her.

  My meeting should be over soon. Want me to bring dessert?

  My tongue darted out and licked my lips. It wasn’t possible, but I could still taste her. She was the only thing I wanted for dessert.

  Yes.

  I finished cooking my dinner and sat down to eat by myself. When I was done, I cleaned up the kitchen, hid my surfboard in the guest room, and waited.

  And waited.

  What the hell kind of meeting did she have?

  It was dark outside before she knocked on my door. I was pissed off and wanted an explanation.

  “Where have you been?”

  Her eyebrows winged up. “Do you want to try that again?”

  I sobered when I caught her tone. She was right. I was being an ass and had no right to ask where she was or what she was doing or who she was doing it with.

  It gutted me that I wanted to.

  “Sorry. I thought you were going to be here hours ago.”

  She shrugged and held up a paper bag. “I got held up.”

  She breezed past me once I took the bag from her. Her usual scent hit me, but something deeper mixed with it. Cologne?

  “Were you with a guy?”

  She snorted. “You don’t get to ask me that question.�
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  “You said you were at a meeting.”

  She nodded. “I did. And?”

  “Who was your meeting with?”

  “How about we talk about your personal life, Kapena?” she dared, crossing her arms. “Who did you see this week? Who’s the last woman you slept with? And how about why did you text me?”

  I growled and slammed the door. I took a few seconds to breathe in the fresh air swirling around me then spun to face her.

  “Thank you for dessert.”

  The sudden change shocked her. She opened and closed her mouth a few times before she snapped it shut and nodded.

  I took the bag into the kitchen and pulled out two slices of dark chocolate cheesecake. I groaned.

  “That’s a good sound,” she teased.

  “This is my favorite. I love chocolate.”

  She nodded. “I know. I picked it for you.”

  “How did you know?”

  She smiled at me, holding my gaze for a long moment. When she blinked her hazel eyes, shielding herself from me, I felt the loss of her as though it were a physical thing.

  I took a step toward her, not close enough to touch, but close enough that she knew I was there.

  Her eyes blinked open, staring at my chest before drifting to my face.

  “What’s going on, Kapena?”

  “Truth?”

  She nodded.

  “I didn’t like seeing you with Micah today. Or smelling another man on you when you walked into my house just now. I haven’t been able to get you out of my head since you ran from my bed. I know I said we couldn’t be together, but it’s killing me not to touch you right now.”

  “Then touch me. No one’s stopping you.”

  “I’m not playing here, Ada,” I said, moving in closer to her.

  Her eyes widened for a second, her breath heaving and pressing her chest to mine. “What are you saying?”

  “I think you know what I’m saying.”

  “Kiss me,” she demanded.

  I grinned. “With pleasure.”

  One time. I told myself I’d let it happen one time. But I couldn’t resist her. I wasn’t strong enough.

  My hand was in her hair, tilting it back so I could blaze a path down her neck. I could only smell her there. Not that other guy. Whoever he was. She still hadn’t answered that question.

  I was determined to make her forget about him.

  Her fingers wound through the long strands of my hair, holding on as I nipped her collarbone and ran my tongue between her cleavage. I rested my other hand on her ass, toying with the seam of her cheeks. I couldn’t wait to slide my hand between her thighs and feel how wet she was.

  “Kapena,” she groaned, tugging on my hair. “Kiss me.”

  I let her drag my mouth to hers and dove right into her parted lips with my tongue. She tasted like wine, something that startled me even though I knew she’d just come from dinner. The reminder that she always had something to drink before she flirted with me hit me harder than I expected.

  I pulled back from her and reached for the cheesecake. Chocolate would erase the wine flavor on her tongue.

  “I want to eat this off you,” I told her, dipping my finger into one piece and sliding it between her eager lips.

  She sucked my finger, swirling her tongue around it. I started to remove my finger, but she held my wrist and pumped my finger back into her mouth, sucking hard and flicking her tongue over the tip.

  Hell yeah, my cock was definitely on board with that.

  “I want to lick it off you. Get naked.”

  “You first,” I growled. No woman got me off before she had at least three orgasms. It was a rule of mine, and just the decent thing to do. Any man who left a woman unsatisfied wasn’t a man in my book.

  Ada slowly stripped out of her black Bermuda shorts, turning to give me a view of her perfect ass in another pair of lacy panties. I grabbed her hips and pulled her cheeks back against my cock, rubbing at her seam. She moaned slightly, pressing against me.

  Then she bent at the waist, her hands flat on the floor and fuck me, I almost died. She had one of those perfect, heart-shaped asses that begged for you to fuck them from behind. In all our activity the last time, we never made it to that one.

  But it was a whole new day.

  I dipped my finger into the cheesecake and smeared it just above the edge of her panties on her lower back. She squeaked and jumped away, but I pulled her back in and slid my tongue across her skin to clean the sticky sweetness from her. She moaned and trembled.

  I eased her shirt up her back until I reached the strap of her matching lace bra. Jesus, did she own anything that wasn’t sexy as fuck? Although it wouldn’t matter to me if she was wearing granny-panties. Ada was beautiful.

  With a shaky hand, I flipped the clasp on her bra and set her free. She pulled her shirt then her bra off, leaving her mostly naked.

  I scooped another finger of cheesecake and reached around to her taut nipples, smearing over one then the other. She moaned when I let my hand linger, using the dessert to slide across her skin as I pinched her lightly.

  She stood, pressing her back against my front. I nestled my cock between her perfect globes and watched my fingers spread the dark chocolate over her tits. She wound her arms around my neck, arching against me every time I swept over a nipple.

  Her hips set a rhythm, rocking into me as I worked her into a frenzy with just her breasts. I loved seeing the way she responded to me, how close I could get her without sliding between those delicious thighs. Her breath hitched and her body tightened, telling me she was nearly where I wanted her.

  “Kapena,” she moaned. “Oh, God.”

  I reached for the chocolate once more, coating my other hand, then set them both on her, smearing it all over both of her breasts, massaging them together while she rocked her hips against my cock and let me get her off with just her breasts.

  “Yes. Oh, fuck. Yes! Oh, oh, oh. Yes!”

  I turned her around, smiling at the chocolate fingerprinting all over her, and dipped my head to clean her off. She brought one of my hands to her lips and sucked it clean while I worked on her breasts. I might have gotten a little distracted by her nipples, drawing first one then the other deep into my mouth so I could taste her once all the chocolate was gone.

  She swirled her tongue around my fingers, sucking them one by one until the only chocolate left was in the box of dessert on the counter.

  “Best dessert I’ve ever had,” I whispered before I captured her lips.

  She dove into the kiss as eagerly as I did, her tongue spearing between my lips and searching for mine. Our tongues tangled, giving me an opportunity to feel every inch of her body.

  My hands drifted from her shoulders down to her curvy ass, back up her sides, and down her arms. I clasped her fingers in mine, feeling something click into place when we held hands.

  Our kiss softened, the moment for rushing over as something more replaced it. Something far sweeter. Far deeper. Something I knew had the power to destroy me if I let it. Something I had no business feeling for her but couldn’t stop it if I wanted to.

  I eased back from our kiss and stared into her eyes. Those stunning hazel eyes that haunted my dreams looked right back at me, a question in them. She felt it, too. I could tell by looking at her. She didn’t understand it any better than I did, but she knew it was there.

  She lifted my shirt slowly, waiting until the last possible second to break the connection between us. Her hands immediately went to my chest, tracing over the lines etched across my skin. My first tattoo was a childish impulse, but every one since was an intention. Something I did to mark myself, for good or bad. Whenever anyone asked me about them, I brushed off the question and played dumb. I was good at it. But with Ada’s eyes and fingers moving over the marks I’d painstakingly had applied to my body, I ached to tell her every reason they were there.

  Her fingers kept moving until they were back in my hair, the moment to s
hare gone. She brought my lips back down to hers, kissing me gently from one edge of my lips to the other. I tried to capture her, to move things back to the passionate way they started, but she was having none of that.

  She kissed me lazily, every second passing sinking her deeper into me. Her hooks sank into my soul, making me believe for the first time in forever that I might be worth more than a quick fuck.

  I’d never given myself the opportunity to think I could be more to a woman than momentary pleasure, but with Ada kissing me like she had all the time in the world, and planned to use it, I felt like there was more. More to me. And maybe more to us.

  I wrapped my arms around her and brought our bodies as close as they could get without being inside each other. I ached to fill her, but I couldn’t bring myself to bend her over the back of the couch and go at her the way I wanted to. I was going to savor this in a way I hadn’t allowed myself to the first time.

  I cupped her breasts again, rolling her nipples between my fingers. Her kisses faltered just enough to tell me she was still over-sensitized and ready for another orgasm. Or six. I angled us just enough that I could keep one hand on her nipple and used the other to press her hips against mine.

  She moaned into her kiss and rubbed against my cock. I clenched my jaw to stop the urge to thrust right back and let things keep going. This was all about making her feel good.

  Ever so gently, I slid my hand from her breast to the edge of her panties. I teased her skin, dipping my finger beneath the lace then sliding around the back to cup her backside again. She whimpered and squirmed in my arms, trying to rub herself against me.

  Being tall had its advantages. One being my arms were longer. Long enough that I could dip my fingers between her legs from behind, rubbing the tight hole there and brushing against her pussy at the same time.

  “Oh, God,” she moaned, breaking our kiss. Her breath faltered as she spread her thighs wider to let me touch her.

  I left my thumb high so it would brush between her cheeks as my fingers stroked gently against her clit.