by Holly Jacobs
Mac knew that Mia was wondering what he’d discussed with the Zumigalas, but she didn’t ask. They road in silence back to Erie. Katie slept almost the entire way.
Because Mia was driving, he simply stared out the window, thinking about what Mrs. Z., Mom, had said.
Keep Katie?
He wasn’t sure he could do it. Part of him wanted to, knew that letting her go would be torture.
He loved her. He didn’t doubt that. But he just didn’t think he was the best choice for a parent.
And Mia?
He kept glancing at her as she drove.
She had finished putting her brothers through school. She had plans. This car was just the first step. She wanted to go back to school, finish her degree. She wouldn’t have time for a relationship. Not that he wanted a relationship with her.
He realized suddenly they were home.
She turned off the ignition and looked at him, her blue eyes looking so seriously at him.
“Mac, I have something I want to say. Something you probably aren’t going to want to hear.”
“This seems to be the day for people telling me things they’re not sure I want to hear. So go ahead.”
“That day when you told me about your parents, you said you never wanted kids because you were afraid you’d be like them. I didn’t ask for details, and after today, I don’t need to. You see, I just met your parents…your real parents. I’m sorry, I couldn’t help but overhear your conversation. You know, families aren’t made by blood, but by love. The Zumigalas are your family. If you give Katie half the love they gave you, she’ll be lucky.”
Mia leaned across the seat, kissed his cheek and hurried out of the car before Mac could reply.
She went straight into her apartment, leaving him to put the baby back in his car.
He was on the road heading home, mulling over Mrs. Z. and Mia’s words.
Family.
Mac had never really given any thoughts to a definition for that word before.
He’d always just assumed that it was genetics. Your family was the luck of the draw. And he’d drawn the short stick.
But then he’d found Mr. and Mrs. Z. She was right. She’d always treated him like a son. Just like Chet had always treated him as more of a brother than a friend.
Mac had been the one to hold back. To keep his distance. Not that they seemed to notice. The Zumigalas simply kept pushing, kept breaking down barriers.
Mac realized that Mrs. Z. had broken down his last one today. She was right, she was his mother in all the ways that mattered.
And Mia was right, if he could be half the parent that the Zumigalas were, then Katie would be all right.
And, with sudden clarity, he realized something else. He wanted to…he wanted to keep Katie, wanted to have a chance to watch her grow up.
He might not be the best choice, but he knew that he’d never find anyone who could love the baby as much as he did.
The reason he hadn’t been looking very hard to find parents for her was that he hadn’t wanted to trust someone else to do what he wanted to do.
Wanted almost more than anything else he’d ever wanted.
But Katie deserved more than just a father.
She deserved a whole family. She deserved…
Mia.
He’d known for a while now that he wanted Mia. He was drawn to her. He’d tried to convince himself that it was just a sexual pull, but it wasn’t.
He wanted her to be part of his family because—the words that came so hard earlier came much easier now—because he loved her. He didn’t want her just as Katie’s mother. He wanted her.
Mia Gallagher.
He wanted her to help him raise Katie. Wanted to have other children with her. Babies with her smile, with her laugh.
He wanted to grow old with her.
Not just want.
He needed her.
He loved her.
But Mia had plans. She’d finally raised her brothers. Was finally going back to school and following her dream. Could he take that from her?
Would asking her to be his wife, to be Katie’s mom be fair? She’d worked so hard and waited so long for her chance at happiness.
Mac didn’t know.
“I don’t know what to do,” he admitted aloud to the sleeping baby.
Mac had always known what he wanted, where he was going. But now, he didn’t have a clue.
“I do know one thing. I’m done looking for an adoptive family. You’re mine. I know I’ll screw up, but I swear, I’ll always love you and try.”
That was the best he could do for Katie.
The question remained, what was the best thing he could do for Mia?
Chapter Ten
Mia spent her weekend thinking about what she’d said to Mac. He would be a fantastic father, but she doubted he’d listen to her. He was stubborn like that.
He’d warned her not to fall in love with him, warned her that he was giving Katie away.
Well, she couldn’t make him love her, but he couldn’t stop her from loving him.
And she couldn’t stop him from giving up Katie, but if he wouldn’t raise the baby, there was another option. One that just sort of snuck into her mind. One she couldn’t seem to shake.
If Mac wouldn’t raise Katie…Mia would.
It was so simple she couldn’t believe it had taken her so long to figure it out.
She’d adopt Katie.
She’d raise her and love her.
Mac could still be a part of the baby’s life. Part of Mia’s life.
He was stubborn. He’d probably argue against the idea, saying he didn’t want Katie raised by a single mother. But Mia would line up her arguments.
If he was too stubborn, she’d call in Mrs. Zumigala. She bet Mac’s surrogate mother would pick up her cause.
Somehow she’d make Mac see she was meant to be Katie’s mother. And someday, maybe they could get him to see he was meant to be her father…meant to be with Mia.
Decision made, Mia agonized over how to broach the subject.
She knew Mac was going to argue. He had very specific requirements for Katie’s parents. She knew she fell short. But she also knew that no one would ever love the baby as intensely as she did.
That had to count for something…didn’t it?
She arrived at his house Sunday afternoon, Teresa’s subs in hand.
Her stomach was twisted with tension. Her roast beef sub was untouched. Katie bounced happily on her knee, unaware that her fate was about to be decided.
“Mac?” Mia asked.
He didn’t respond. He was staring out the window again. He’d seemed distracted all afternoon.
“Mac?” she said again.
“Sorry. I was thinking.”
“Is everything okay? You’ve been a bit out of it?”
“Fine,” he said.
Mia didn’t believe him. He might have a lawyer’s ability to mask his feelings, but with Mac, she could see through it. He’d been quiet and pensive since they’d visited his parents.
“You’re upset the Zumigalas wouldn’t take Katie.”
“I had hoped they would. They would have been a perfect solution.”
“I know. I thought about it all last night. And I have an idea. I don’t think you’ll be very enthused about it, at least not at first. So I want you to hear me out before you react.”
“What?” he asked, suddenly, totally, focused on her.
Mia was afraid she’d never get it all out before he nixed her idea, so she said, “Swear you’ll just sit there and let me say this.”
“Fine,” Mac said.
Mia waited.
He sighed and raised his right hand. “I swear.”
She smiled and took a deep breath before blurting out, “I found the perfect place for Katie.”
“I thought you said being with me was the perfect place for Katie?”
“But you won’t keep her. So I came up with a solution. Let me raise he
r.”
She waited for the explosion, but Mac kept his promise and just sat there, staring at her, waiting for the rest.
“I know you’ve been looking at families, at a traditional mother and father arrangement for her, but I want you to consider letting me adopt her. I know it will be a struggle, but I’ve been there…done that. I might not have a lot of money, but I have a lot of love. I want her, Mac. I don’t know how else to say it. It’s not just want…it’s a need. She’s part of me. If you give her to someone else, I’ll grieve because I know you’ll never find her someone who can love her like I can. They may be able to provide a more financially stable home, but I can give her love. So much love.”
“What would you do with her while you work?” he asked.
“Day care, I guess. I know it’s not the perfect solution, but I can make it work. I called and talked to Brigitta this morning. She’s willing to keep her. You know how much she loves kids. And my brothers, they’ll love her. They’ll be great uncles. She might not have a traditional father figure, but the boys would fill in.”
“Mia, what about your dreams?” he said softly. “You have a car with a seat-warmer, and what about going back to school? Finally living life for yourself? You’ve earned that. Putting your brothers through school, you’ve earned time for your own dreams.”
“That’s what I thought as well, but it turns out, Katie is my dream. I want to be her mother, Mac. As for college, I’ll go back someday. It will be there. You’re never too old to stop learning. My degree can be finished whenever I’m ready.”
“If you keep putting off your own goals in order to serve everyone else, you may never be ready, there may never be a right time. You keep giving up your dreams to serve others. First your brothers, now Katie.”
“Then so be it. I told you before, there’s no real giving up involved when you love someone. I love my brothers, and I love Katie. Going to college isn’t going to make me happier. Maybe more employable, but not happier. Katie will make me happier.”
She wanted to add, the only thing that could make me happier than having Katie in my life, would be having you there, too. But Mac had made his feelings on a relationship clear. He’d shut the door on it as firmly as he’d shut the door on the idea of keeping Katie himself.
Mia wished she could open the door for him. Maybe if she kept trying, eventually she’d get it to crack open. If not, she’d just keep breaking her heart, ramming against the door to his. It was a chance she was willing to take.
“Please,” she said. “Having Katie is one of my biggest dreams.”
“One? You have more?” he asked.
She wanted to say, just one…you. Instead, she said, “Well, there’s school. I’ll do it, too. I know I will.”
“That’s it?”
“Dreams are private things, Mac. There’s one more, but it’s a fool’s dream. I’ve seen that. So, I’ve put it aside. But being Katie’s mom, that’s something I can do.”
He shook his head and Mia’s heart sank. He wasn’t going to let her raise Katie.
“I wish I could say yes, Mia,” he said softly, “but I can’t. You see, I already found a family for her. I’ve promised.”
“Oh.” She could feel the tears gather around her eyes.
“Don’t,” he said, his voice raw with emotion as he brushed away a tear. “Don’t.”
“I’m sorry.” She swiped at her eyes. “I know you’re doing what you feel is best, that you want Katie to have a traditional, stable family.”
And she knew why he wanted that so desperately for Katie. He’d never had that. He’d been abandoned as a child. He wanted to be sure Katie never had to deal with that.
Understanding didn’t stop her heart from breaking, but for Mac’s sake, she’d put her misery away until later.
“Tell me about Katie’s perfect family,” she said softly.
“They’re not perfect, but it’s their imperfections that make them perfect for Katie,” Mac said. “You see, I’ve learned a lot these last few weeks. The only real definition for family is a group of people held together by love. I have that with the Zumigalas. I wasn’t born into my true family, I found them. And I’ve found Katie’s family as well. Her new father’s got a bit of emotional baggage, but he’s dealing with it. Her new mother…well, she’s darn near perfect. She’s always known what family meant. I’ve seen how she’s been willing to give up anything for hers. She’ll do the same thing for Katie. She’s already given the baby her heart…the rest will just be a bonus. Katie will have a mother and father, and maybe someday soon, siblings. A house full of love. That’s what I’m giving her.”
Mia realized she wanted that for Katie. She loved her enough to give her up to that sort of dream. “Yes. You’re right, they sound perfect. When will she be leaving?”
“She won’t.”
“I don’t understand. You said—”
“I said I found her the perfect family. I did.” He reached into his jacket pocket, and opened a box. “I’ll buy you a diamond, or whatever else you want, but this is the ring I wanted to give you when I asked you to marry me. Katie and I picked it up yesterday after we left your house.”
“Mac?” Mia said weakly.
“It’s like Mrs. Z’s. Even with her Italian last name, she’s Irish at heart. She told me the story of the Celtic Knot. The legend says it represents the interweaving of two lives. In our case, it’s not just two, it’s three. I love you. I’d love you—I’d be asking you to marry me—even if we’d never found Katie.”
She gave him a look and he laughed. “Okay, so maybe it would have taken me longer to realize it. But we did find her, and I do realize it. I love you. We’re a family. It’s meant to be. You and me…we’re meant to be.”
“Are you sure? You said—”
“I said a lot of things, but I never said the words I love you before to any woman. I never thought I would. But then I never thought I’d be a father either, and have discovered that’s just what I am. I’m Katie’s father. She’s mine. She’s a part of me. A part of you. Like this ring, we’re linked. Tangled up in each other. And I don’t want to try to untangle us.”
“Me either,” she said, throwing her arms around his neck and, with Katie gurgling happily between them, she kissed him. “Yes. You’re the rest of my dream. A dream I wasn’t sure would come true.”
“Yes?”
“Yes, I’ll marry you. I want to be your wife, I want to be Katie’s mother.”
“About school?”
“I’ll go back. Maybe start taking one course a term this fall.”
“It will take a while for you to finish that way.”
“I want to be home with the kids. When they’re small. When they’re older, I’ll have finished and will look for a job.”
“Kids?” he asked weakly.
“Kids. At least two or three more. You’ll need a basketball hoop in the drive, like the Zumigalas have. And you’ll need to meet my brothers. They’ll act tough at first, they like to think they’re protecting me, but they’ll love you. They’re family. And—”
“Mia, all this is fine,” he said softly, his index finger running lightly along her jawline, “but right now, you need to shut up and kiss me.”
“I’d love to Larry.” And with Katie caught up between them, they kissed and sealed their promise.
At that moment, the three of them were truly what they were always meant to be…a family.
Epilogue
“Katie O’Keefe Mackenzie, you stop right there,” Mia insisted.
She bounced Merry on her hip as she chased after Katie, aka hell on-wheels.
“You know better than to ride your bike so close to the street. You scared me.”
“Sorry, Mama,” she said with a whisper. She jumped off the bike and hugged Mia and Merry both, just as Mac’s car pulled into the driveway.
“Daddy,” Katie screamed.
“How’s my girl?” he asked as he scooped her up and dodged the lawn full
of toys as he walked toward Mia.
“Good, Daddy, only I can’t ride my bike near the street.”
“Right you are,” he said. He turned to Mia. There was a look in his eye that always took her breath away.
“How was my Merry Maid Marion today?” he asked softly.
She stroked the hair of their new daughter, Marion O’Keefe’s namesake. “Sweet as always.”
“I’m not sweet, Daddy,” Katie said. She flexed her muscles. “I’m tough.”
“You’re tough all right.” He kissed Katie’s head, then smiled at Mia. “Mom and Dad called my cell. They’ll be here in about half an hour.”
“Nana and Papa. How long’s half an hour?” Katie cried.
“Not long at all,” Mac said with a laugh. “Uncle Chet, Uncle Marty and Uncle Ryan are coming to dinner, too.”
“I love family day,” Katie said. “I’ll blow out the candles and get some presents and then…”
Mia listened to Katie prattle about her plans for the celebration. It was her anniversary with Mac. Two years ago today they’d married and adopted Katie legally.
“An amazing time,” Mac said, looking at his family. “Just the first of many.”
Mia looked at Mac and Katie as she clutched Merry a little tighter.
Her family.
A family built on the most important thing of all…love.
ISBN: 978-1-4603-5443-8
BE MY BABY
Copyright © 2004 by Holly Fuhrmann
All rights reserved. Except for use in any review, the reproduction or utilization of this work in whole or in part in any form by any electronic, mechanical or other means, now known or hereafter invented, including xerography, photocopying and recording, or in any information storage or retrieval system, is forbidden without the written permission of the editorial office, Silhouette Books, 233 Broadway, New York, NY 10279 U.S.A.
All characters in this book have no existence outside the imagination of the author and have no relation whatsoever to anyone bearing the same name or names. They are not even distantly inspired by any individual known or unknown to the author, and all incidents are pure invention.
This edition published by arrangement with Harlequin Books S.A.