“We like your murky, stinking cesspool of a life,” Jenna said. Nessa glared. “What? She knows I’m joking.”
“What Jenna, the only woman without any type of filter between mouth and brain, is trying to say is you’re our friend. We bonded over our six-mile-runs and donuts. And Bethany-hating. No one can take that back.”
“My thighs are killing me this morning,” Jenna moaned. “If I’m going to hurt, I need more of that greasy sugar bread. You rock the distance running, Abbi. If you weren’t nice and didn’t feed my addiction, I’d hate you.”
I shook my head. “It’s going to be bad out there.” I sat in my chair, head in my hands. “Maybe I should just unenroll from the university. Get an online degree or something.”
“No way,” Jenna yelped. “Since I don’t get regular, hot sex like someone we know, you’re the purveyor of my greatest pleasures in life right now.”
I swallowed down regret. “But my reputation will spill over onto you.”
Nessa stood and stretched. She looked relaxed, languorous even. “Good. Dane will like the added spice this brings to our relationship.”
“It’s not spice,” I yelled, close to tears. “It’s horrible! The touching, the innuendo. Everyone staring, whispering.”
I looked away, my throat working furiously.
“What that guy did to you was wrong, Abbi,” Jenna said, putting her hand on my shoulder. “And no one is going to touch you. We won’t let them.”
“What Bethany’s trying to do here is just as bad,” Nessa said. “And we’re not letting her get away with shaming you. I really hate that pixie-stick. More so now for doing this to you.”
“We’re your friends. We’re sticking. And . . .” Jenna ducked out the door, returning a moment later with a bat. One of those metal ones the baseball players used to warm up. “I borrowed this from one of the baseball players. See? No touchy.” She gripped the middle and waggled it at us.
“Borrowed?” Nessa asked.
“Fine. I stole it. Whatever. It’s awesome. I look totally bad ass.”
Nessa shook her head. “Why didn’t I think of protection?”
“You two are crazy,” I said, trying to stifle a giggle. “Thank you. Thank you so much for this.”
Nessa threw her arm over my shoulder. “You’re just figuring that out? Let’s go. I’m starving. You owe me my morning donuts.”
Jenna took a swing at some frat boy before we made it to the student union for breakfast. The bat did deter most people from getting too close, but one still yelled inappropriate comments.
“That’s not even possible,” Nessa said, under her breath, glaring at the lanky guy with long hair. “Where do they come up with this shit?”
“How did you survive this at Tech?”
“This isn’t bad.” I couldn’t begin to tell them about the time two guys cornered me at the end of the hall, one with his hand up my shirt and the other grabbing my bottom. Until the incident here at the library the other day, that was one of the worst experiences I’d had on any campus, punctuated by my professor yanking one of the guys off by his collar.
Shame bloomed across my skin. I knew all guys weren’t bad. Clay, for one, had been kind. He’d treated me like I was worth more than my sex parts.
“I got what you need!” Another guy yelled, sending his friends into hysterical laughter.
“It’s like they forget you’re an actual person,” Jenna mumbled. “What is this?”
“It’s going to get worse,” I whispered. “When I don’t agree to screw at least one of them, someone will get insulted. That ups the abuse.”
“If nothing else, you and I can be lovers,” Jenna said. She looked me up and down, her gaze critical. “You’re hot, Dorsey. We’d make a very photogenic couple.” She winked.
We walked into the dining hall, and silence slowly descended and heads swiveled in our direction.
“Chin up,” Nessa said, glaring at a table full of young women who were clearly whispering about me. “You have nothing to be ashamed of, Abbi. Oh, good. Here are Dane and Kai.”
She stepped forward and wrapped the shorter guy with flaxen hair in a hug. He bent down and kissed her with more exuberance than necessary. Jenna tipped her chin at the taller, tatted guy ambling toward us, his hands shoved deep in the pockets of his ratty jeans.
“Kai,” she said.
“Jen,” he replied, a cynical smirk pulling at his lips. “And you’re the infamous Abbi Dorsey. This shit’s crazy.”
“You have no idea.”
He turned to glare at some big, linebacker type who was making crude gestures and yelling “you know you want it!”
“I know it isn’t right,” Kai said.
Dane wrapped his arm around Nessa’s waist. They were cute, standing together. Nessa, all curvy and glamorous, Dane, spare and broody.
“I’ll get the ladies breakfast,” Dane said, acting impervious to the stares and the catcalling. As performers, maybe this didn’t bother them much. “Get them settled at a table, Kai. And don’t you dare leave them alone.”
A pang hit me low in my stomach. I didn’t want to want that type of protectiveness but a large part of me yearned for it. I wished I had someone willing to take on the world for me. I didn’t, and I was to blame. I’d shut down my family’s attempts, and I didn’t have anyone else who wanted to get involved.
Clay said he’d be my fake society boyfriend, but he wasn’t here. He’d sent his friends while distancing himself. That hurt. Deeply.
But I had Nessa and Jenna, who was once again tapping her metal bat into her open palm. Kai glanced at her, and his eyes widened at the bat.
“I’ll get the food,” Kai said, eyes sliding from Jenna’s continued tapping. “Everyone want coffee? Abbi, do you eat the same fried crap as the rest of them?”
“Toast is great,” I said.
“Enjoy your time with Nes,” Kai said, spinning on his heel before stalking into the line.
“This way, Abbi,” Dane said, arms out to shepherd us toward a corner booth.
“Where’s Clay?” Jenna asked.
Yeah, I wanted to know that, too.
“He should be here,” Jenna said, scowling at the other diners. “Staking his claim.”
“He’s helping Cassidy with some school project. But he knows, and he’ll be back this afternoon.” Dane looked at me, eyes serious. “You’re not allowed to walk around by yourself. Clay was adamant. Nes, Jenna, and I will get you to your two classes today, but then it’d probably be best if you holed up in your dorm room.”
“I’m going home after my last class,” I said.
Much as I wanted to avoid this, I needed to get the other pictures Sally had given me. With the newest stirring of this story, I doubted they’d stay hidden. Mom had been on my case to talk to Aunt Briar, and now was the time to make that happen.
“You gonna fight back this time?” Jenna asked, gaze still scanning the room.
Cassidy’s words from Saturday came back to me. For those of you who’ve been there, the question is, what do you plan to do with your life? How much is a second chance worth to you?
I couldn’t live like this, and I couldn’t ask my friends to do so either.
“Yes. I’m going to own it, and I’m going to work it my way,” I said. I took the coffee Kai handed me with a grateful smile.
“Really?” Jenna asked, her eyes wide.
I spread my hands out to include all the people still staring at me. “Do I really have a choice?”
The rest of the table fell silent as they, too, glanced around. This was sooner than I wanted. Much as I wanted to cry against the unfairness of it all, I kept my cool as I sipped the coffee, hating the thick, bitter taste as it hit my tongue.
“I think it’ll be better if I stay at my mom’s tonight. That way you don’t have to babysit me.”
“’Cause it’s so hard,” Jenna said, rolling her eyes. “What with your snappy comebacks and hilarious stories of famous people. K
ai, you know I don’t like bear claws. What the hell?”
“That’s for me, sweetness,” Kai said, his voice sardonic. “I got you the nasty jelly-filled thing you like.”
Jenna stuck out her tongue and Kai rolled his eyes, but a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. They were cute but in a sibling kind of way. Interesting, considering Bethany had made that comment about Jenna panting after Kai.
I’d have to get the story later. Right now, I needed to do damage control.
The four of them walked me to my class, ensuring the professor was in the room before leaving me.
“Had to get a posse for your pussy, huh?”
It was the same big dude from the dining hall. His features were blunted, his neck nonexistent. I’d never seen him in here before. Could be because I hadn’t paid attention, or it could be he hadn’t bothered to come to class until now.
I settled into my chair, face flaming. The professor, a small man with grizzled hair and thick white eyebrows looked up, his eyes catching mine. I shook my head a little.
“Just because you’re a rock star’s stepdaughter doesn’t make you that special,” the guy’s friend said.
“You are hot,” the first guy said. “I’d do you. Once.”
I slammed my hand on the table before the professor could react. While it stung, I was too focused on my newest attackers to care.
“Well, I won’t do you. You take some social media pictures as truth without even bothering to ask what or why. I’m not just a rock star’s stepdaughter. I’m Abigail Dorsey, a woman with a 4.0 GPA and the hours sitting at my desk, studying, to prove it.”
I paused, sucked in a deep, full breath and looked the guy dead in the eye.
“I chose not to answer those allegations last spring because I didn’t want to further hurt my family. But you know what? By not doing so, I hurt every other woman who’s been treated like crap, both in the media and by thugs like you. You cannot objectify me without my consent again.” I looked him up and down, a sneer peeling up the corner of my mouth.
“As you so kindly pointed out, I have a rock star stepdad who’s been urging me to use my voice and tell people the truth. Well, here it is: I was drugged and photos were taken of me against my will in an effort to shame me into keeping me quiet. I won’t be quiet, and I will not take another insult from anyone without a response. From my lawyer.”
The silence that filled the room was thick. My face drained of color, my head buzzed from lightheadedness. Would the professor kick me out?
Then someone began clapping. A girl with dark red ringlets stood up and wolf whistled. Her friend shoved her chair back and did the same. Within seconds, every girl in the room was standing, clapping and cheering.
The professor waited for the room to quiet down before he asked, “Any further comment, Mr. Olson, Mr. Fein?”
The two guys ducked their heads, cheeks a dusky red.
“Good.” The professor smiled at all of us. “And just to be clear, I believe women have a right to own their bodies, minds, sexuality, property, and whatever the hell else they want, because they are just as capable and smart as their male counterparts. But for the rest of this class, we’re focusing on calculus.”
I sat in my chair, sweating and shaking but lighter than I’d been in months, maybe years. I couldn’t believe I’d snapped. I really couldn’t believe how good I felt taking control of my life.
Granted, this wasn’t over. I was ready for the next step; after this class, I was going home and picking up those pictures. Steve didn’t think I’d pursue the photos. Neither did Bethany. She expected me to hide as the media crucified me. Because I had before.
But this time I wasn’t going to back down.
15
Clay
Without an actual crime or evidence, there wasn’t much the campus security staff could do. The whole innocent-until-proven-guilty bullshit had saved more than one of my father’s rabid fans from jail time.
Sure, Jan Silver, the victim’s advocate, made a copy of my complaint and stuck it in Abbi’s growing file, along with a letter from her calculus professor about the incident this morning. But the campus security team wasn’t interested in increasing security, not for Abbi nor for any of the other women on campus. Nessa, Jenna, and I got the “we have a budget” talk.
“What if something does happen?” Jenna asked, clearly as frustrated as I was. “She’s high profile. If she’s raped, then you’re going to look like assholes who don’t know your way out of a paper sack. Because I’m going to make sure I tell everyone I know about this conversation.”
Nessa put her hand on Jenna’s arm and even I sat back, unsettled by Jenna’s outburst. Not that I wasn’t thinking the same thing, but this felt . . . personal.
The woman across the desk scowled, throwing her black hipster frames onto her desk. Yeah, not as much fun working with victims as you thought it would be. Because this shit is real, not a scripted TV show.
“So you say. But without more than a he-said-she-said, I can’t do anything. We’ll keep an ear out. Her calculus professor, Dr. Callen, let us know about the remarks made in class today.” She flicked the edge of the folder. “They’re in here. We’re building a case, but whom would we even charge? There’s rumor, innuendo. No crime. What do you expect?”
“You to do your job,” I replied. “Like you’re supposed to. Did you talk to Bethany Reynolds?”
“About what, exactly?” Jan asked, annoyance lacing her words.
“Accosting Abigail Dorsey in her dormitory. Giving the pictures to Charles and Neal. Starting the rumors. Making this an unsafe environment for her. The list is pretty long,” Nessa said.
“And I advocate for victims. Ms. Dorsey isn’t a victim yet.”
“I’m going to remember the yet part of that statement,” Nessa said, standing up. “Come on. This is a waste of time.”
I looked at the woman across the desk. She was about Colten’s age. Already, she’d been roughened by the system. Lines were developing around her mouth and her eyes were both sad and angry.
“You could do something here. Something worthwhile that would help not just Abbi but a lot of young women on this campus. I have a sister. I’d want to know she was safe walking to class, hell, even going to a party. That starts with the school’s attitude. And right now, yours sucks.”
Jan Silver’s eyes rested on my back as I walked out. She didn’t bother to call me back because we both knew she wouldn’t do anything until it was too late.
I stood near the door to the chemistry class my brother said she had at 8:30 a.m. every Tuesday. Nessa, Dane and even Kai stuck close to Abbi yesterday while I was helping Cassidy with her school presentation. After finishing that late morning, I’d needed time to meet with campus police.
Abbi stayed at her mom’s place last night, which was a smart move. The situation wasn’t calming down even after Abbi gave a freaking soliloquy that ended up online. What didn’t these days?
We’d monitored social media and so far, it was flying under the national radar. I didn’t expect that to continue. Not when the headlines last spring and summer had sold so many click-throughs. And wasn’t that what this was all about? A shame fest that someone else profited from.
If anyone was going to take on the world for Abbi, it was me. I was the other half of the “it” couple the media pronounced us to be. And I’d told Abbi I’d take care of Bethany. Some help I’d been.
I’d positioned myself to see the entire quad. Jenna and Nessa stopped at the doorway to the building, tilting their heads in acknowledgment to my presence. I raised my chin back, but my eyes never strayed far from Abbi as she made slow progress up the steps.
Her head was bowed and her shoulders folded in as if the weight of the world were pressing on her. In a way, it was. We all knew the fallout from this story could be huge. And ugly.
I stepped forward, and her head popped up, her eyes filled with fear but also with fire. Good. She was going to fight.
She slowed down when she saw me, her chest rising and falling in rapid succession. She stopped a good ten feet from me, uncertainty written across her face.
“I hoped you’d be here, but I wasn’t sure.” I wanted to touch her, do something to help her. “I’m sorry yesterday was so shitty.”
She shrugged. “I still have to go to class. I’m here to learn. To get a degree.”
She looked pale, a bit unsteady, but her jaw was set in a determined line. I’d missed looking into those eyes. I wasn’t used to wanting to hear a voice, listen to concerns, dreams. When I’d asked Colt about that on our way home from the gala he’d rolled his eyes at me. That was his you’re-an-idiot face.
“So you feel like that with Kara?” I asked him.
“Yeah. That’s why I wanted to marry her. I don’t even look at other women.” Colt’s face fell. “But she doesn’t feel the same way. She’s seeing someone else, keeping us casual.”
“She dumped you and hooked up with someone else?”
“Pretty much,” Colt said, eyes never leaving mom’s seat in front of him.
My eyes had flickered to my parents as I shifted Cassidy’s sleeping form more fully into my arms. My shoulders bunched into such hard muscles, my head started to pound. While I’d never felt strongly enough about a woman to want the commitment, I’d believed in the power of devotion once. Until I’d seen how easy it was to betray.
“Clay? What’s wrong?” Abbi’ stepped closer, her long, slender fingers resting on my forearm. Despite her worries, she was comforting me.
We both looked down at our flesh, the heat building, growing, wrapping us together in a cocoon of mutual desire.
What this woman did to me. I’d never felt need like I did with her. And damn if that didn’t scare me. Lust alone, I could handle. But this was more.
This was what Colt had described. I wasn’t ready for this intensity, for a commitment. Especially with someone like Abbi, who’d always garner attention whether she wanted it or not. Even now, she burned bright enough to turn people’s heads, to lure more paps onto campus.
Seattle Sound Series, The Collection: Books One to Five Page 84