I groaned as she sank down a little, testing our fit. She was so tight. The tip of her tongue poked between her teeth as she lifted her hips and spread her thighs wider. Her pupils were so big, they swallowed the blue of her eyes. Her breasts rose and fell in rapid succession. She sank down harder this time. We both stilled. I stared up at her, my eyes just as wide as hers.
“Fuck.” I leaned up so my cheek rested on her breast. Her heart raced in a quick rhythm.
“That hurt.” She said, her voice dazed.
I looked up at her. “Still?”
She shook her head. “No.” She licked her lips, her eyes even wider than they were before. “Does that mean I was still a virgin?”
“Yes,” I groaned, thinking about the gift she just gave me. I pulled her down to my chest and held her. I’d just taken her virginity. “That’s what it meant.”
She rested her forehead against mine. “Oh. Clay.” Her back shook. “God. I’m so glad it’s you.”
“Me, too, Abbi.” I had to kiss her. Claim her. Now. She was mine. I was the only man who’d been here, inside her.
I kissed her, lingering at the place right in the middle of her lips she liked me to lick. I gathered her close in my arms, and then I twisted. She held on, her elbows on my shoulders, her fingers fisted in my hair as I rotated so she was on her back.
“I’m going to move now,” I said, looking deep into those blue eyes. Her lips, all swollen from my kisses, parted as I slid out of her. I pushed back in, deep. She arched against me, and I leaned down and bit her just above her shoulder. She cried out and clenched tight around me. Slow. I had to take this slow.
22
Abbi
Knowing my body was still mine . . . the relief was enormous. But the feel of Clay rocking in and out of me was beyond intense. Good, no great. He altered his hips so the friction shifted forward. I clawed at his back, trying to contain the feelings pouring through my body.
He cupped my breast as he kissed me, his tongue forcing my jaw open wide so he could mimic his hips’ action. I arched up into the next thrust, straining to get closer, to hold him tighter. He found a smooth rhythm, and I wound up, up, up.
He pulled back, his chest heaving as he slid his arms under me, hands cupping my shoulders. He slammed into me. Hard. He growled, low, primal. The sound was so hot my thighs spasmed. He slammed into me again and my body heated, rising higher than before.
“Clay,” I cried.
His mouth dropped to my shoulder and he sucked hard. One more thrust, and I was over the edge, falling, twisting, panting with my release. Clay groaned.
He collapsed onto my chest, his breathing as ragged as mine. I trailed my fingers up and down his back, loving how his narrow, tight waist flowed up into those broad shoulders. He lifted onto his elbows, and I murmured at the loss of his weight on me. He shook his head. Hard.
“Hey,” I said.
He leaned down, brushed his lips over mine. The caress was soft, sweet. I smiled into it, and he pulled back, questions forming in his eyes.
“That kiss was sweeter than our, um, sex.”
Clay laughed. He rolled to his side, and I winced as he slid from my body. He pulled me tight against his side.
“This is more than just sex, Abbi.” He brushed my hair out of my face, his thumb tracing the curve of my cheek.
My cheeks heated but I grinned at him. “I think it’s you. You’re a pretty stellar teacher.”
He stilled. His gaze followed his fingers as he traced them down my face to my lips. “I don’t get off on screwing virgins. And whatever you’ve heard, I’m not that big into hookups either.”
I ducked my head, embarrassment flaming up my neck. “I didn’t mean it like that.”
He cupped my cheek so I had to meet his eyes. “I want you. You. And I’m really fucking glad I was your first. But not for the reason you’re thinking.” His eyes darkened and his lips twisted down in a sardonic grimace. “Okay, maybe for that reason, too.”
“I like that, too,” I whispered.
He ran his thumb down my cheek, over my bottom lip. “I’m relieved they didn’t rape you, Abbi.”
Tension I didn’t know I was still carrying slid from my shoulders. “Guess barfing on myself turned out to be a good thing.”
Clay sat up, pulling me up by my shoulders so I straddled him. “Don’t joke about that, ever. They wanted to hurt you. The fact that they failed . . . that’s awesome for you, but they’ll probably try with some other girl. Someone like my little sister.”
His fingers dug into my shoulders, but I got where his anger was coming from.
My nose stung as his words swirled through my mind.
He’d just implied I meant as much to him as his sister. The little girl he went home to see almost every weekend. I wanted to tell him I loved him, but I was scared.
He blew out a deep breath as he petted my hair. “How about we shower?”
My body warmed. “Together?”
His grin was downright lascivious. Oh, I liked this side of Clay.
“If you’re up for it.”
I glanced down. “Looks like you are.”
He picked me up, leaving me no choice but to wrap my legs around his waist and hold on.
“You have no idea.”
I was late to class. Clay dropped me off with another scorching kiss. He’d promised to pick me up after, muttering something about commitments. As I stepped away, he cupped my bum, fondling the curve. I couldn’t stop smiling and sighing.
“See you at three,” I said.
“You better believe it. We’ve got our hot date. And I think we should try body art.”
I frowned a little, trying to grasp his meaning.
“I’m going to like licking honey from your neck almost as much as your inner thigh,” he murmured against my ear.
I gasped, my body tightening. I wished I hadn’t felt the need to come to school today, but this lab was important—a quarter of my grade—and I didn’t think my excuse of making love for the first time would hold up with my instructor even if it was Clay’s brother. My stomach rolled in a painful push. Especially because it was Clay’s brother.
Colt noted my entry, his eyes skimming over my relaxed expression and tousled hair. He turned away, but I caught the faintest smirk. I scurried to my seat and settled in as quietly as possible.
I worked through my lab, finally understanding the molecular component we’d been studying for the last few weeks. As everyone packed up, Colt caught my eye. He motioned me toward his desk. I nodded, dawdling over cleaning my station and shoving my binder back into my messenger bag.
My legs wobbled as I walked up to Colt’s desk.
“How’s the hazing around campus?” he asked.
Relief flooded my head, and I had to blink against the sudden lightheadedness.
“No one really bothers me because I’m usually in a group or with Clay.”
“Glad to hear that,” Colt said, his mouth easing tension. “So you and my brother?”
“Is that a problem?” I asked.
“No. It’s great. Clay.” Colt dipped his head at the same time Clay moved in behind me, close enough for me to catch his woodsy scent.
Clay slid my bag from my shoulder, lifting it to his before he threw his arm around my waist.
“I sent you a text,” Clay said, “to let you know Abbi and I are going out tonight. In case you get any media requests for information.”
“Good to know,” Colt said. His brows pinched tight over his nose. “I’ll have to talk to the dean, make sure it’s all good that I’m teaching this class if you’re dating my brother.”
I looked down, twisting the hem of my shirt. Fake-dating Clay was complicating lives quickly.
“I don’t want to cause you any trouble,” I murmured.
Clay’s fingers tightened in a possessive clasp at my waist. “You’re not. Colt’s just doing his CYA work.”
I forced my gaze back to Colt’s, trying to swallow th
e unwelcome dryness in my throat. “Are you sure it’s not a problem?”
Colt’s brown eyes were kind, though his expression was thoughtful. “Honestly, I don’t know. But I’ll haul ass upstairs and talk to Dean Mosconi now. The fact that everything is open and transparent will help. Anyway, I was thinking more about you, Abbi. I don’t want anyone to think I gave you a grade you didn’t deserve.”
I tucked my hair behind my ear. “Seems kind of far to stretch. Me, sleeping with your brother, means you give me better grades.”
“I see your point.” Colt stood, picking up his battered leather satchel. He was young and hip, the antithesis of the normal science prof. He made it to the door before turning back and looking at us. “Don’t worry too much about the social media hoopla. Just a bunch of trolls looking to rip someone else down so they don’t feel so shitty about eating bags of chips in their parents’ basements.”
I smiled and waved. “Your brother’s pretty cool.”
“He has his moments. So this is a science lab.”
“It is. Do you have a sudden need to learn chemistry?”
Clay’s lips twitched. He turned me so our bodies aligned. His hand splayed across my lower back, pulling me tight against his chest and hips. I raised my eyebrow when his thickening bulge pressed against my belly.
He leaned down and pressed a kiss to the corner of my eye. I sucked in a breath at the jolt of need that sizzled through my body.
“I already have lots of chemistry with you.”
I rolled my lips into my mouth but I wasn’t able to stifle the giggles that erupted. “That’s a terrible line,” I managed to gasp.
“It was amazing. Like me.”
I rolled my eyes as he took my hand, pulling me from the classroom. Kai hailed us as soon as we exited the building.
“I’m hungry, and I need a ride. My car’s in the shop.”
“Abbi needs to run by her dorm to pick up some clothes and such,” Clay said.
“Then we’ll feed my poor neglected stomach,” Kai said.
Clay grabbed my hand and pulled me down the sidewalk toward my dorm, ignoring the looks of avid interest and even some of the catcalls thrown our way.
Kai wasn’t as cool. “Fuck off,” he yelled after hearing a particularly racy comment about what I could be doing with my hands.
Clay’s hand tightened around mine, but he kept walking forward, even as his jaw tensed.
“You dealt with this at Tech?” Kai asked. “By yourself?”
“It was worse.”
“How was it worse?”
“They’d touch me.”
“Wow, Abbi, you’re really living up to your reputation,” Jenna joked as we walked by her open door.
I rolled my eyes, but Clay was ready to snap. “That wasn’t funny.” His voice was tight with anger.
“Abbi knows I’m teasing. Right?”
I opened my door and gasped.
The room was trashed. The worst wasn’t the shredded bedding or even the broken picture frames on the floor.
“Holy shit,” Jenna said. “That’s so uncalled for.”
Words were written in red spray paint on what was left of my mutilated bed and all the walls. They’d even written on my desk and chair. I was glad I’d brought my laptop with me when I stopped by a couple days ago to pick up some more clothes and class notes. Otherwise, I was sure the words would be written there, too.
But even those weren’t the worst. Those were words. No, what kept me transfixed were the pictures. The pictures I’d shown Clay.
I didn’t want to do this. Not here. Not yet. Clay and I were supposed to have a date tonight. A normal night. He was supposed to tell me this morning meant something to him, that we were together for real.
Much as I didn’t want to involve the police because this would get back to my mom and Asher, hurting them more, I pulled out my phone.
“I’ll call,” Kai said, his voice gentle. Jenna touched my shoulder.
“Abbi? Why don’t you come into my room?”
I didn’t move. Instead, I stared at the pictures taped to the walls, placed strategically so I could still read the words below. Ugly words, shameful words.
This was what people thought of me.
Clay swung me around, dragging me down toward Jenna’s open door. I was shaking so hard, walking was difficult.
This was Tech all over again. Except this time, I had friends and they’d seen the pictures and the words.
I bolted to the bathroom.
Long after I’d emptied the contents of my stomach, I sat there, shivering. Those men had their hands on my body. It’s why I was sure one of them had raped me. But they hadn’t. They’d just used me.
I’d really thought I could leave it all behind. I pressed the heels of my hands to my eyes, wishing I could block out the rest of my life just as easily.
“Abbi?” Jenna’s voice was hesitant. “I’m worried and so is Clay. Will you come out now?”
I didn’t want to. I wanted to hide, to pull back inside myself again.
But that hadn’t worked, not if copies of those photos were on my dorm room walls. So my only other choice was to move forward.
“Just a minute.”
I stood, my legs still shaky but my fortitude firmly in place. I rinsed my mouth. After washing my face, I met my gaze in the mirror. I had choices, but only one path.
I stepped out of the stall and met Jenna’s worried gaze. “I brought you a clean toothbrush.”
I hugged her, quick and hard. “Thank you.”
She hugged me back. “You’ll get through this, Abbi. Just so you know, Nessa and I—we’re sticking by you. Clay is pretty firm he’s in this with you, too. Even Kai’s out for blood. And he doesn’t care about anything.”
“He cares about you. In fact, he likes you,” I said.
She waved her hand, dismissing that. “He likes that I don’t like him.”
I took the toothbrush and cleaned my teeth.
“I need to call my mom. I don’t want her to hear this from some reporter or gossip site.”
Jenna walked me back to her room. Clay sat on her bed, his hands linked between his spread knees. He stood when I entered, coming close enough to touch me. He didn’t. Was he disgusted with me?
“Those were the same pictures, right?” he asked. “The ones your friend gave you?”
I nodded, my throat tightening with the need to cry.
“I need to call my mom. She’s going to be so upset.”
“For you. She’s going to hurt because someone did this to you, Abbi.”
I winced, pulling back. But Clay cupped the back of my head in that way I loved. The way that made me feel so safe, cherished.
I leaned in, needing his smell and the solid wall of his chest against my cheek. He played with my hair, his body tense. I knew he was thinking what I was—more people would see those pictures. This time it would be the police, but once I filed the report . . . I shuddered again.
“Will you stay with me? I don’t want to do this alone.”
He leaned forward and kissed my forehead. I let my eyes slide closed, loving the feel of his lips on my skin. He pulled back slowly, his hand sliding down over my hair. “You’re not alone. You never were.”
Much as I wanted to burrow into his large body, to absorb his strength, I wasn’t ready to show that much vulnerability. Not yet. Even with Clay. Some lessons were just too deeply ingrained. I dialed my mom’s number, standing there as close to Clay as I could without actually touching him.
“Hey, Abs. What’s going on?” Mom sounded cheerful.
I couldn’t say it. I just couldn’t tell her. Clay slid his hand up my arm, over my shoulder to the base of my neck.
“Abbi? Are you there?”
I met his gaze. The difference here was stark: I lived my life, or I let others dictate it for me. Clay waited for me to make the choice, his eyes swirling green with emotion.
“Hi,” I said. “I have some news.”
>
“You’re okay?” Her voice rose. Panic bubbled behind her words.
“I’m fine.” And I meant it. I smiled, and Clay brushed his thumb along my jaw. “I’m actually really good.” I sighed. “But my room isn’t. Someone broke into it today. Well, maybe last night. I’m not sure.”
“What? Why? Were you there? Are you hurt? Did you call the police?” The wheeze built in Mom’s voice, a sure sign she was about to have a panic attack.
“I’m fine, Mom. I promise. I’m with Clay and Jenna and Kai.”
“You’re with Clay.” Mom released a gusty breath. “Tell him thank you for me.”
“I will. But I need to tell you this wasn’t a break in to steal stuff.” I swallowed hard, my eyes firmly fixed on Clay’s. His thumb continued its gentle caress. “They wrote words on my wall.”
“Oh, Abbi,” Mom breathed. “Honey.”
“The worst part, though, are the pictures from that night. At Tech.”
“I’m coming over there,” Mom said. “Right now.”
“Please don’t. Not because I don’t want to see you but because that’ll just make it worse for me.”
“Abbi.” Mom sounded lost, a little broken. “You’re sure I can’t come there?” She cleared her throat. “Asher said to come home. We’ll talk about this some more.”
“I will. Tomorrow. First thing. But tonight, I’m going to stay with my friends.”
That set Mom off. More than anything else, she’d been as frustrated and hurt as I was by the difficulty I’d had since she and Asher got married. She sniffled harder. “I’m so glad you have friends again.”
“It’s going to be okay, Mom.” I smiled at Clay, who smiled back slowly, a bit unsure. “I’m going to be okay.” His smile widened and his eyes lit up.
“Cops are here,” Kai called from the door.
“Did you hear that? The police are here. I’ll text you when we leave campus. I’m staying at Clay’s tonight. So are Jenna and Nessa,” I rushed to add.
Seattle Sound Series, The Collection: Books One to Five Page 89