I heard voices in the other room as I stepped out of the shower. Good to her word, Marilyn must be bustling around my kitchen, making me breakfast. The other voice was deeper—male. I didn't know many men. Maybe it was Marilyn's nephew, here to help her with some task. After wrapping myself in a towel, I padded back into my room, collapsing on the edge of my bed, tired from the morning’s exertion.
A knock sounded on my door.
My body shivered with exhaustion, and I struggled to fit my legs into my pants. Thank goodness! Marilyn would help me.
“Come in,” I called. My voice wasn't very loud but my door cracked open. Kai's dark head peered around the edge, his eyes widening when he saw me on the side of the bed, my jaw set against the pain radiating out from my ribs and only a towel wrapped around me.
“Sorry,” he said, backing away.
I couldn't see his head anymore.
“Marilyn made you an omelet. She had to run out. Something about an emergency at the consignment shop.”
“She's gone?” My breath hitched. What was I going to do?
“Come out when you're ready.”
“Wait,” I said. My face flamed, but there was no way around it. “I need help.”
Kai's expression was pained as he poked it back around the door. “What do you need help with?”
“I can't bend over enough to pull on my pants.”
“What about just a T-shirt?”
“That hurts, too. And I can’t walk around without panties.”
Kai closed his eyes as his knuckles turned white on the door frame. “Shit, Evie. I don’t want to think about you naked.”
“What? You've seen naked women before.”
“Not ones I'm friends with,” he mumbled.
“Please, Kai. I can't sit in a wet towel until Marilyn gets back.”
“What about a robe?”
Like I had a robe. He opened his eyes and the blue was more vibrant than usual. My expression must have answered his question.
“Fine. But you owe me.”
“Deal. Though I don't know why. Just . . . don't look.”
“I thought you weren't embarrassed by being naked around me,” he said with a smirk.
“I said you've seen lots of naked women. There's nothing here you haven't seen,” I said sweeping my hand down my towel-clad torso. “But this body's mine, and I don't want you looking.” I was embarrassed by the bruises still in full bloom across my skin.
Kai shook his head as he picked up the T-shirt I'd set next to me. He swallowed as he looked at me.
“No bra?”
I raised my eyebrows. “To lay around on my couch? No way. My girls don't like ’em anyway.”
“Evie,” he said with a sigh. “This conversation already went places it shouldn't.”
I couldn't help it; the need to tease Kai was strong. “Because I mentioned my breasts?”
“Naked breasts. Shit. That image is going to be stuck in my head.”
He gathered the material and fitted my head through the hole. I held my breath and inched my arms through the holes, wincing at the effort.
“I think I'm offended,” I said, through the cotton. “You don't want to think about my boobs? Aren't they good enough for your rock star eyes?”
The shirt slid into place as my towel unraveled. Kai groaned but he continued to smooth the material down my body.
“You did that on purpose.” His voice was accusatory.
A thrill zinged through my stomach and settled lower. But I kept my eyes wide, trying to maintain an innocent demeanor.
“Kai, I'm black and blue. There is nothing sexual about helping me dress right now.”
“Says the sexiest woman I've ever seen,” he muttered.
I wasn't sure I was supposed to hear him, but I did.
I pressed my lips together hard to keep from smiling. I hadn't been sure, but knowing Kai found me sexy made my day. He picked up my panties and slid them over my feet.
I placed my hands on his shoulders, looking down at the whorls of dark hair, biting back a smile. Kai had multiple cowlicks. I bet he'd been an adorable, if disheveled, child.
My panties were at my ankles, and Kai hesitated. He glanced up at me, the brown from the center of his irises bleeding out into the blue. I stared back, trying to get my heart rate back to something close to normal.
“My pants.”
“What about them?” Kai's voice was lower, rougher. My fingernails gripped harder into his T-shirt. I no longer cared that he knew he affected me as much as I affected him. Not with the heat blooming across my breasts and pooling deep in my belly. I’d never experienced such a rush of desire—and I didn’t know what to do with it.
“If you pull them up to my knees, I can manage the rest.”
Kai's lips twisted up in a tiny smile as he bunched the material of my soft, loose sweat pants. I slid my feet into each hole and Kai stood, his eyes on mine. “Use my arm to steady yourself.”
I stood, trying to ignore the towel sliding from my lap to the floor as I fumbled to grab my clothes. I pulled them up my legs and sighed, thankful to have them settle over my hips. Kai's nostrils flared but he stepped back from my grip and bent down. Picking up my towel, he strode into the bathroom.
“That was a weird experience.”
“How so?”
“I've never helped a woman dress before.”
I raised my brows. He fidgeted. My ribs heaved a little, but I couldn't laugh. It hurt too much. “I don't want to know.”
“Hadn't planned on talking about my good times.” He rocked back on his heels, embarrassed. Kai was forthcoming and I'd guess honest, but he was also awkward with affection. He'd lavish it on Paige, but he was much less willing to touch me. Not that I expected or even wanted him to. Fine, yes, I did want him to touch me. Still, something about his easiness with Paige led me to believe Kai was naturally affectionate. Maybe, like me, life had ripped that innate sense from him. He’d spoken of his brother, with whom he’d obviously been close, but his mom…he didn’t mention her, leading me to think that relationship was strained.
Kai’s gaze skittered past mine and he shoved his hands deep into the back pockets of his jeans. “So how about some breakfast? It'll get cold if we don't eat soon.”
“Sure,” I said. I hoped my voice sounded natural, but Kai's growing smile told me otherwise. “Thank you for your help.”
“Not quite what I came here for this morning.”
“Why are you here? Not that I'm not happy to see you.”
“Sue said she has a couple interested in Paige. Says they knew her parents.”
“For foster parenting?” I asked, my stomach tightening.
“For adoption,” Kai said, his voice grim. “I just—this is moving fast. Paige's mom hasn't been gone a week. Sue says it's for the best, but Paige needs time to grieve.”
“On the plus side, it takes about six months, usually more to actually adopt a child.”
“Why do you know that?”
I shrugged, not willing to tell him about my turbulent path or reasons for becoming a certified foster parent last year. Nor did I want to talk about why my degree was interdisciplinary—when I hadn’t been willing to stop psychoanalyzing my own stupid reactions after my mother died, I ended up with a degree that combined end-of-life medications with the impact on neurological outcomes in an effort to understand my mother’s choices. I still didn’t, and I might not finish my research and graduate. I might have to give up on the job I’d been offered. I shook my head. Time to stop thinking about my lack of prospects.
“You want me to come to visit her with you?”
Kai nodded, his eyes dark but for a completely different reason. “After the couple leaves. To gauge how Paige is doing.”
My chest hurt more than usual as tension compressed my lungs. I was supposed to have more time—time to talk to Marilyn, come up with a plan for how to help Paige. “Doesn't she have at least two more weeks in the hospital?”
&n
bsp; “That's what I was told. But Sue's under pressure from her department. Getting a kid off the books saves money. An adoption is a win for the state and for the adoptive family, but I can't help thinking about what Paige wants.”
“Well, if they aren’t great, maybe I can spend some time trying to help Sue look for Paige’s extended family. You’d think someone related to her would be more understanding, more loving.”
“You’d think.” Kai’s word were clipped but also tinged with a sadness that once again made me wonder about his relationship with family.
I collapsed onto the cushions on my couch. Kai stopped and turned to stare at me. “You're not coming to the table.”
“Not yet.” Much as I hated to admit it, my legs wouldn't have carried me that much farther.
He walked around the other side, studying my face. “I keep forgetting. I mean, you look so . . .I'm sorry, Evie. Your body's been through some serious trauma.”
“It's not letting me forget it, that's for sure.” I leaned back against the cushions. “If you don't mind bringing plates here, I'm happy to share Marilyn's food. She's the best cook.”
“Give me a sec.”
I watched Kai stride into the kitchen, bumbling about the space. He pulled down the plates and scrounged for silverware. Marilyn had left the pot holders next to the stove, so Kai used those to pull the cast iron skillet from the oven where the omelet stayed warm.
My stomach rumbled as the smell hit my nose. “Sausage and roasted red pepper?”
“She said it's your favorite.”
“It is.”
“So how did you and Marilyn meet?”
“She picked me up off the street one night. I was out late, being stupid. This was back in high school. She took me home, but she didn't let me stay when she realized my mom was hosting a, ah, get-together.” I accepted the plate he held out to me. “That's why I was out so late. I didn't want to get caught by one of my mom's boyfriends.” Heat bloomed across my cheeks. Why was I telling Kai all this? Perhaps because he seemed to struggle with his relationship with his mother. “Marilyn ended up taking me back to her place that night. She'd pop in over the next few weeks, making sure I was still going to school, staying out of trouble.” I paused, unsure how to tell him about my brief stint in foster care, how I'd lost touch with Marilyn for the next year and a half.
“Sounds like she cares about you,” Kai said. He ate a bite and stared down at his plate before meeting my gaze. “I'm eating here more often. I can cook basic stuff, but this . . .”
“Marilyn was a sous chef at some fancy restaurant in town back when she was in college.”
“How are you so skinny if you eat like this all the time?”
I shook my head, a small smile canting my lips. “Skinny I am not nor ever will be. But I guess I lost some weight in the hospital.” I shrugged.
Kai set down his empty plate. “How are you, really?”
“Tired. Achy. But getting better.”
“Is going up to the hospital too much? You don't have to come.”
I met his gaze. “I do. I feel responsible for Paige.”
“Your light was green?”
I nodded, setting down my fork. Much as I loved this dish, my appetite vanished with thoughts of Paige, so young and vulnerable, ending up in a foster-home like me.
“I followed another car into the intersection. Paige's dad clipped him, and I spun into him after the initial impact. That guy's fine, but his car was totaled.”
“How many cars were involved?”
“Seven. Two fatalities—Paige's parents. Paige and I have the worst injuries, but a couple of the other drivers had stints in the hospital. Good news is, I'm not being held responsible for any of the damages.”
“Was that a possibility?” Kai asked, his brows pulled low in an adorable scrunch.
“Maybe. I mean, my insurance company called me while I was in the hospital saying they don't want to pay for my car or my medical bills. Some lawyers are involved, but the police concluded their investigation last week.”
“Do you have someone representing you?” Kai set his plate on the end table.
“Marilyn contracted an attorney for me. He's handling the case now.”
“If you need me to look into him, recommend someone better, I could do that.”
I shook my head. “Marilyn's lawyer is good. He's pretty sure I'm going to receive a nice settlement since Paige's dad was at fault.”
Kai frowned, censure pouring off him. “Paige said her parents did that often. Took her with them to a party or a bar or game. Sounds like her father was a ticking time bomb. I'm sorry you were in the mix, Evie.”
I leaned farther into the cushions, unable to eat more. “If I hadn't been in that car, who's to say if her parents would be dead?”
Kai rested his elbows on his knees and met my gaze. “Survivor's guilt. My brother—Marcus—struggled with it. He lost two of his buddies when an IED exploded.”
“Maybe, but it's how I feel.”
“Maybe you shouldn't.” He blew out a long breath. “That blame-game killed Marcus.”
I scoffed. “You blamed me.”
“Until Chelle told me Paige's dad had been drinking. What kind of asshole do you have to be to drink and then put your kid in the car?”
“I don't know. But it doesn't change the fact—”
“That his drinking nearly ended your life, too.” Kai turned my chin back toward him, waiting for our unspoken battle of wills until I met his gaze.
“But I survived,” I said in a wobbly voice. “Her mom didn't. So I have to make sure Paige is happy and secure. For both of us.”
“You know what you're talking about.” His tone held no questioning.
And here it was. “I've been in foster care. I don't want that for Paige.”
“So you think the adoption's better?” Kai leaned back, crossing his arms over his chest.
“I don't know. I haven't met the people. That's what it boils down to—the people who want to take her home, build a life with her.”
“You think they'll care about her? I mean, really love her?”
I pursed my lips. “I'd like to hope so.”
“What does your experience tell you?”
“That the foster system is doing the best it can.”
“Not a good answer, Evie.”
It wasn't, but I didn't have a better one, especially if a couple wanted to adopt Paige.
6
Kai
Even wan and tired, Evie was beautiful. The kind that shone from within. I'd looked up her name on my phone last night as I lay in my bed, after telling her goodnight. Didn't mean Angel—no surprise there because Evie's stubborn streak reached wider than Puget Sound. She insisted on accompanying me to the hospital even though she needed a nap.
“Your name means messenger of good news. Is that why you don't listen to anyone else?”
Evie's lips twitched in a tired smile. “Maybe. If I'm bringing all the good news, why would I want to listen to other people? They're providing the depressing and sad news.”
I chuckled. Smart woman.
Her knuckles were white against the door handle. “Hey, you okay?” My voice turned softer as she began to shiver.
“The accident was bad.”
“You want me to take you back into your apartment? I told you, I can go by myself.”
“No.” She blew out a long breath. “I have to do this. Riding a bike, getting back on the horse.”
“Not if you're scared,” I said.
“Let’s visit Paige. Please.” She buckled her seat belt, double-checked it, and closed her eyes.
“I think we got your name only partially right. You should also be named Kai.”
Evie's laugh burst from her lips as she turned her head to look at me. “Why?”
I shrugged. “My dad did a tour in Burma with the Army. He liked the name. Means unbreakable. Strong. Fits you better than me.”
Evie lifted her hand and ra
n her fingertips along my cheek. “I have a suspicion you’re too hard on yourself.”
We stared at each other for a long moment. I had to blink back the moisture building in my eyes. My brother’s death made me act stupid. Still.
Her phone beeped and the spell broke. I turned back to look out the windshield, shocked by how much I'd wanted to burrow my face in Evie's neck and have her wrap me in her arms, hold me close until my shaking stopped.
I buckled in and started the engine. She dropped her phone back into her small purse and sat in silence for a long time. I was content to be with her. I didn't like to be with many people, finding them boring or too intrusive. But with Evie, being together was easy.
We clicked.
The realization was beyond frightening.
“So why the tiny car?”
Thank God. A question I could latch on to, not think any more about how much I liked spending time with this woman.
“Clay drives a monster SUV and Dane's is big, too. I don't need to haul equipment because Clay always drives his boat, and I take Dane and, sometimes, the girls. I figure that evens out our carbon footprint.”
“You're an environmentalist,” Evie said.
I snuck a glance over at her, hoping, this time, her beauty wouldn't punch me in the gut. Her face was in shadow, the occasional flash of sunlight pouring down through a cloud or past a building illuminating her eyes.
I shrugged. “I don’t like the idea of living in filth. So do you get a new car?” I asked as I pulled into a parking space in front of the hospital and turned off the engine.
“Next week, courtesy of Paige's parents' insurance. At least that’s what the lawyer told me.”
“Sounds promising. Why do you look like that?” I stilled her hands, which were busy twisting each other.
“Doesn't it seem wrong to make her parents pay for my stuff? I mean, any settlement money could go to Paige, to help her out when she's older. Especially if the system doesn't work for her . . .”
I frowned, unable to read Evie's tone. “I'm not sure where this is coming from, but I don't think the insurance company would settle anything on Paige. Your lawyer's there to make sure you're taken care of.”
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