by Alicia Wolfe
But even as I thought it, I wondered if it were true. Despite everything, despite the strangeness and alien-ness of this place, I loved the Palace. I loved the Queen. I loved the Fae. And I was becoming increasingly aware that I had, at the very least, complicated feelings toward Davril.
And I could still taste his lips on mine!
Davril spoke with a captain of the guard as we went, filling him in, and the captain sent word ahead to the Throne Room so that servants were holding the door open for us as we arrived. We poured into the massive chamber with a sizeable gathering around us, but I just wanted to avoid everyone’s eye contact and hang my head in shame. Federico was the only one I could look at, really, and despite his obvious exhaustion he managed to give me grins and thumbs-ups. I appreciated the effort and smiled back at him.
The virtual forest that grew in the middle of the floor of the Throne Room had grown back since the attack of the trolls, and the damage to the crystal stairs leading up to the dais had been fixed. Everything looked exactly as it had before that terrible day, and my heart rejoiced to see it, as it always did. Sunlight glittered down from the crystal dome overhead and sparkled off the shining points of the throne itself upon its dais. I marveled at it all as Lord Greenleaf, the Grand Vizier, met us, taking over from the captain, and led us to and up the crystal stairs. Davril spoke with him as we went, and Greenleaf nodded and looked sober.
I listened to his words tensely, but he didn’t mention my betrayal. Was he still thinking about it, debating it with himself, or was he simply saving it for the Queen?
Queen Calista had been visiting with other guests before our arrival, and she was still finishing up with them. By the time we reached the top of the stairs, they were bowing and leaving her, and as we came before the throne we had her to ourselves. Well, there was Greenleaf and some guards, of course, but the hangers-on had stopped at the doorway.
All three of us bowed to Calista, and she nodded respectfully back. Relief settled on her features as she beheld us all, and when she smiled I could see how genuine it was. Tears actually glimmered in her eyes. Damn, I thought. She really thought we were going to bite it.
“I’m so glad to see you back,” she said.
“Thank you, Your Majesty,” Davril said. “We’re glad to be back.”
“Damn right,” said Federico, then grimaced in discomfort. He still hovered in midair, but his wings were beating slower now, and he hovered lower. Pretty soon he’d be standing on the dais on his little hoofs. “Gotta admit, I’m anxious to get back to the Compendium.”
“And we’re anxious to have you back in it,” Calista said. “It’s been in chaos without you. But I do hope you heal much faster once you’re reinstalled there.” Amusement, but also chagrin, twisted her lips. “I heard about your little adventure, Federico. The zoo, really?”
Federico laughed. Even it sounded sickly. “Yeah, well, I’ve gotta have a little fun. Made me realize just how cooped up in the Compendium I’ve been. I’ve gotta get out more. Have some fun.”
“Not that much fun, I hope.”
Federico shrugged. “We’ll see.”
“You know we can’t keep you on if carry on in such fashion, and we have long since learned the correct wards to keep you from popping into our private halls.”
Federico waved this away. “I’ll be a good imp.”
“I think that’s an oxymoron,” I said.
“Don’t tell me what kinda moron I am,” Federico said, but I could see the twist of his lips.
“We will have to spend precious political capital to repair the situation with our human counterparts in the government,” Calista said. “Not to mention smoothing over the results of yet another aerial battle.”
“That one you can’t blame on me,” Federico said. Unconsciously, his eyes slid to me.
Seeing that, Calista shifted her attention to me, too. I wanted to look at my shoes but forced myself to maintain eye contact. Don’t look shifty, I told myself. Could a shifter not look shifty?
When no one volunteered any information, Calista said, “Please. I want to know all about it. Just what was Central Park like?” Curiosity shone in her eyes. She had obviously longed to know precisely what lurked beyond that veil. More to the point, she was probably desperate to know what had slain her troops.
“It’s a haunted forest,” Davril said. “Larger than it should be, and strange. We only saw a small part of it, and we saw no indication of what killed my brothers and sisters in arms.”
Queen Calista sighed. “That’s a shame. If nothing else, it seems to indicate that if whatever power erected the veil doesn’t perceive a threat from us, then we’re safe to enter.”
“I wouldn’t say safe,” I said.
“Oh?”
Davril shot me a warning look—maybe I was usurping his right to debrief the Queen or something; I guess I would’ve known better if I’d showed up more often to training—but I ignored him and said, “As soon as we entered, a pack of wolf shifters almost tore us to shreds.”
“Wolf shifters? Really? Interesting. Go on.”
“Looks like they were working for Mistress Angela—at least that’s my guess. Along with a bunch of goons and mages. Also, Razor Wings.”
“I’m afraid I don’t know of these Razor Wings.”
Briefly I explained. Davril and I traded off telling the Queen of our misadventures, and Federico threw in a few comments, too. Queen Calista nodded and frowned, interjecting a few questions here and there, but mainly just listening.
“Fascinating,” she said when we had gotten to the part where we had escaped Central Park. Her expression hardened, and I could see anger there—but not directed at us. I didn’t have to wonder whom it was reserved for, because the next words out of her mouth were, “Now tell me about my son.”
I started to speak, then shut my mouth. I didn’t think I could narrate this part of the story without incriminating myself. And that was Davril’s right.
For a long moment, Davril said nothing. The Queen looked back and forth from me to him, and he was silent for so long that even I turned my head to him and raised my eyebrows: Well?
Various emotions, or the ghosts of those emotions, played across his face, and I knew he was still warring with himself over what to reveal. He studiously avoided my gaze. Breathless, I waited. Would he tell Calista I’d colluded with her traitorous son or not?
Finally, Davril said, “Lord Jereth must have learned of the chaos in the city and divined that only an imp could be causing it,” he said. “Obviously he meant to have Federico for himself, for he instantly brought a small host of riders to capture our friend here.”
“They meant business, too,” Federico said.
“What could they have wanted from you?” Queen Calista asked.
Federico shrugged again. “Who knows? I’m a popular guy.”
“At any rate, we managed to keep Prince Jereth from seizing Federico and brought him straight here,” Davril said.
I wanted to sigh in relief, but held it in. I didn’t want to give any sign that we were holding something back. Inwardly, I rejoiced. Davril had chosen not to turn me over! My heart hammered against my ribs, and something hot burned inside me. I felt unsteady, but in a good way. It was all I could do not to smile and give him a big hug.
For his part, he looked extremely uncomfortable. Lying to his queen, or at least concealing something from her, must pain him terribly. Anguish ripped at me. I hated to be the cause of his distress. In that instant I almost piped up. I almost came clean to Calista, confessing everything. But of course if I’d done that I might never be able to avenge my father and grandmother.
I held my tongue.
Queen Calista seemed to sense Davril was holding something back, and she studied him closely. She opened her mouth to say something, probably to press him on it, but just then Federico wilted noticeably toward the ground, his wings just barely pumping.
Reconsidering, Queen Calista said, “I’d better let
you go now. Rest, all of you. Federico, take your time. Return to the Compendium and heal. That’s paramount. Only begin putting it back in order when you can. And…”
“Yes, ma’am?” said the imp.
She fixed him with a stern but warm gaze. “I will need to know, as soon as you can, what Angela was about to wring out of you.”
“He was in a trance, remember,” I said. “I don’t think he knows.”
Federico shook his head. “It’s like cobwebs, Yer Majesty.” He tapped his head, as if to illustrate.
“I understand,” Calista said. “But when you begin to heal, I expect those memories to return to you, at least in part. When they do, please report to me. Angela abducted you for a reason, and she was able to wrest something from you. Whatever it was, it was likely the first question she put to you—the most important one. She accomplished her goal, don’t you see? She captured you to answer something specific, and you did, whether consciously or not. And I need to know what that is.” She let a beat go be. “We all do.”
Federico bowed his head. “I’ll do it, Queenie. Soon as I ‘member, I’ll let you know.”
“Very well. Now you all may go.” She awarded us with a huge smile. “And know you have my immense gratitude.”
Davril and I escorted Federico back to the Compendium, where a Fae who was an expert in such things helped “reinstall” the imp back into the magical boulder that was the Compendium’s footprint in this world. The imp sat on the stone, then vanished, but I knew he was really in the world of the Compendium now, that mystical, magical place that was really its own plane of reality.
“I hope you heal fast,” I told him before he went, then kissed him on his horned head.
“I’ll be tip-top in two shakes, angel,” he told me, then he was gone.
Davril eyed me critically. Butterflies swarmed my stomach. They weren’t the good butterflies, though. They were the kind that turned my insides into knots and made me feel sick with dread.
Trying to cover my unease, I said, “What?”
His mouth quirked, but not in amusement. “Nothing. I must return home. I will see you … soon.”
I swallowed. “We’re cool, right?”
He hesitated. The Fae who had been helping with Federico watched us curiously, seemed to realize he was no longer needed or wanted, then slipped out, leaving Davril and me alone in the cool dark room that housed the boulder. Normally I would have rejoiced to be alone with Davril after a battle and after receiving the praise of the Queen, but not today. Not with that cold look on his face.
“We are not cool,” he said. He started to say more, then caught himself. “I will see you at our next training session, Jade McClaren. Farewell.”
With that he marched away.
“Wait!” I said.
He didn’t pause but pushed open the door and was gone. I started to go after him, then caught myself. What the hell was I going to say? I’d made him betray his own queen. Or at least I’d made him choose. Surprisingly, he’d decided to protect me. But doing that had driven a wedge between him and Calista, or at least that’s how I knew he saw it, and there was little in this world, literally, that Davril prized above his relationship with his queen. He was her top knight, her most prized champion, and he took immense pride in that, as he should.
As he deserved.
And I had taken that from him.
“Well, shit,” I said.
I finally allowed myself a deep, sad sigh, and sat down on the very boulder that Federico had just vanished into. The darkness of the room settled on me, seeming to permeate my very bones, and I felt a huge weight grind down on my heart.
Good job, Jade, I told myself. You saved your precious revenge, but you may have doomed whatever it was between you and Davril.
“Fuck a duck,” I said.
Chapter 17
I don’t know how long I sat in that chamber, brooding and sad. I knew I should return to my room, shower, and get some much-needed rest, but I also knew I couldn’t sleep, not with this hanging over me.
Finally, I reached a decision and stood.
“Screw this,” I said. “You think you’ve judged me and found me lacking, huh, Mr. Mighty Stormguard? Well, I’ll show you a thing or two.”
I would go to his castle and pummel him with the truth, or at least get him to see my side of things. If we let things continue the way they were right now, the wall I felt between us would never come down. It would only deepen. We would never get back to where we were before all this happened.
I had to go to him. We needed to shout this out, and we needed to do it right then.
Resolved, I stormed out and down the halls, making for the hangar. I found several knights readying their steeds for a patrol, but they refused to take me with them. It was Jessela who agreed to take me. She was just returning from a patrol herself. She looked tired, but she gave me a big hug and said, “Of course, honey. Here, meet Sugarplum.”
She introduced me to her amazing white pegasus, who looked just as tired as Jessela, but she snorted and let me stroke her muzzle. I oohed at her soft fur.
“Will your captain get mad if you leave?” I asked.
Jessela glanced to a tall, dark-haired and broad-shouldered Fae leading her group of knights to the corral. He nodded back at her. She grinned and flashed me a thumbs up, with adorable awkwardness.
“We’re good,” she said.
She swung up into the saddle, then helped me on behind her. Within seconds, Sugarplum had lifted off. We shot out of the hangar. Wind ripped at me, blowing my hair out behind me and bringing heat to my cheeks, then cold. I held on tight as Jessela guided us through the gulf of air between the Palace and the surrounding buildings, then around one spire and another.
“What are you two fighting about this time?” Jessela said over her shoulder.
Don’t look down, I thought. The plunge sucked at me. My stomach churned. It was hard to remember being able to fly under my own power, back when I could shift. It seemed so long ago. At least then I’d been in control, though. This was far worse than being in Lady Kay, that was for sure. When I was in her I didn’t have to see the ground below me. If I barf down Jess’s back, she’ll never forgive me.
“Well?” she said.
Concentrating, I said, “Just … er … my old life, I guess.” I wasn’t sure how much I should say. She was my friend, and I didn’t want to have to put her in the position of betraying me or the Queen. That’s what I’d done to Davril and I sure didn’t want to do it to Jessela, too. Plus, I was chicken.
“What about it?” Jessela said.
“Just…” Old habits die hard? “Never mind. I’ll tell you some other time.”
She started to say something, doubtlessly to fish for more information, but she seemed to think better of it, thank God, and turned back around. We rounded one building, then another, and at last Davril’s formidable, thick-walled castle came into view, perched atop its grand skyscraper. The walls were pocked and pitted from war, and the sunlight glanced off many hasty repairs and towers bristling with armaments. Davril’s castle had been on the front lines of a war that had lasted millennia, and it looked the part.
“I heard what you did today,” Jessela said.
“Hm?”
“Saving Federico. All the Fae are talking about it.”
“Oh. Well, cool. I mean—” I cleared my throat. “It was all in a day’s work, ma’am.”
“Pardon?”
“Never mind. I guess you haven’t gotten to cowboy movies yet.” My mind spun. Just what was I going to say to Davril?
“I think you’re really fitting in around here,” Jessela was saying. She sounded as if she approved and was proud of me.
I gritted my teeth in shame. If only you knew. “Thanks,” I said, but I could hear the hollowness in my voice.
She seemed to sense something, too. “What is it?” She paused, then nodded to herself. “Davril. Of course. Are you … sure you don’t want to talk about it?
Maybe I could help.”
The truth was I really did. But I also didn’t want to hurt her.
“I’m okay,” I said.
We neared the walls. The area over the courtyard was guarded by magical wards, making coming and going from anywhere other than the gate difficult except with permission from Lord Stormguard, but Jessela had only to hover before the grand gate and wait. I held my breath as the seconds ticked by. At last gears rumbled and the gateway swung open. I braced myself.
Jessela flew us inside and set Sugarplum down on the grass of the courtyard. Knights surrounded us, several saluting Jessela. Recognizing us, their captain said, “Lady Jade. We did not expect you.”
Lady Jade. I still felt a thrill every time I heard that.
“I’d like to see Davril,” I said. “I mean, Lord Stormguard.”
The captain paused. “Very well.” But even as he said it, I knew something was wrong. I wanted to ask what that was, but I was afraid I knew the answer. Davril hadn’t been happy when he’d come in, and his captain was worried for him. Heck, so was I. That’s why I was here, after all.
Perhaps thinking this same thing, the captain added, “Follow me.”
I hugged Jessela, and she whispered, “Good luck.”
“Thanks,” I replied, swinging down from the saddle.
“Should I stay for a while?”
I hesitated. It might not be a bad idea. But I shook my head and gestured to the knights around us. “They can help me. Or, heck, I could always find the building elevator and take it down to the street.”
I followed the captain from the courtyard, and Jessela turned Sugarplum back around and flew off into the sunny day. The captain handed me off to the chamberlain once we reached the keep, and the chamberlain had me wait in the handsome foyer while he went to alert his master I was here. I fidgeted impatiently as I waited for him to return. A Fae servant woman glanced at me curiously as she went about her errands. At last the chamberlain returned.
“He will see you, my lady.”
My lady. “Thank you.”
He personally showed me up the richly carpeted stairs and down a broad, high hall whose upper reaches were dark and spanned with cobwebs. This place needed a woman’s touch in more ways than one, and Davril didn’t allow his staff to do much to the place. I wished he would change his mind on that. Damned gloomy, I thought. But then so was Davril, at least on the inside. He was a brooding, tormented man, even though he affected an aloof, iron-hard exterior. Major tragedy and guilt had left a deep stamp on him. My heart ached, being reminded of it.