The cramps began just as the shadow of her cottage came into view, silhouetted by the glow of the crescent moon. She gritted her teeth, and tried to ignore the pains. There was no incident on their journey, and her cottage was exactly as she'd left it. She parted from Rehan after receiving a promise that the queen would visit the following afternoon.
Elthrinn knew what she would find when she undressed, and sure enough, when she stripped she found the traces of blood in her clothes.
Nothing lasted....
Chapter Eighteen
The march from Cranak to the Heranuc range had been long, but uneventful. The trek through the foothills and the first peaks of the Heranuc range had been somewhat arduous. The colder season had already deposited its first blankets of snow on the slopes. The Cradle of the Cumeelii, the only point at which the mountains could be crossed, wasn't impassable yet, but Gorren knew that if they'd started their march much later, drifts of snow, taller than two men, would have kept them bound in Dassrin.
Gorren was glad that their journey had not been much interrupted. Dassrin was a colony of Felthiss; the Lord Protector, Stanrin, who represented the Felthissian Government and who ruled over Dassrin had aided their travels in accordance with his instructions from Felthiss. The Dassrinian people had acted as though a marauding army was traipsing through their country. The banging of slamming doors and shuttered windows had preceded their march since they had crossed the border from Dorvek.
Now, the only thing keeping them from continuing on their path was the need to negotiate passage with the Cumeelii, the cloud spirits who inhabited the Heranuc mountains. It was impossible to undertake such negotiations in advance of arrival, because the cloud people were ethereal, intangible, and generally did not accept missives or messengers of any kind.
Gorren had never travelled this way before, and this was his first sight of the sprites who were known to launch avalanches at travellers that they did not like the look of. Gorren was fascinated by their translucent, snow-pale skin, white eyes, and silver-frosted hair. But as dazzling as the Cumeelii were, they only brought to his mind the deeper hues that made up his wife.
Gorren never usually got homesick. He'd often missed his mother when he had been a young soldier, but he had grown out of that has he had settled into the adventure, and then the life-altering seriousness of battle. Now, he found himself yearning for a tiny piece of home, with a longing so strong that it was a constant physical ache in the centre of his chest.
He was impatient for the negotiations to be over so that he could occupy his mind with putting one foot in front of the other again. As a Captain, Gorren was not involved in the discussions for safe passage. The Generals had been speaking on behalf of the army all morning. He was sitting and waiting along with Jorm, Delban, Ornef, and the rest of the army. Everyone was doing their damndest to keep warm, and to not pay too much attention to the singular flakes of snow that fluttered out of the clouds now and then. The Dorvern army was a dark blot on the perfectly white landscape.
"I think my arse has frozen to the rock." Delban shifted, and wrapped his cloak more tightly around his body.
"It's a shame your tongue hasn't frozen. You haven't stopped complaining since we breached the snowline," Jorm returned.
"His mouth is too busy salivating for one of those silver snatches," Ornef grinned.
"Shhh. They'll be flinging snowballs of ice at our heads if they hear you talking in such a manner," Gorren admonished. "And Delban, keep your cock in your trews, for the mercy of the Grey Wolf."
"No fear," Delban nodded in all seriousness. "I wouldn't mind a taste, it's true, but I like my cock attached to my body. I'm no fool, frostbite is a distinct possibility with one of those glimmering..."
"Stop." Gorren held up a hand to interrupt him. "Just don't say it."
Delban shrugged, and went back to poking a stick at the pitiful campfire that they were huddled around.
"I wonder what Elthrinn will be cooking tonight?" Ornef mused.
"I think our esteemed Captain is wondering what you'd look like with no lips," Jorm said.
Gorren tried, and failed, to arrange his features into a less hostile expression. It was hard enough missing Elthrinn, without his friends reminding him of just what it was that he was missing. He was pleased that they thought of her, it made him proud to think that she'd won them over with her humour and kind heart, but he was miserable, and would have preferred to have been allowed to wallow in his misery alone.
A commotion at the entrance to the cave in which the negotiations were taking place drew everybody's attention. The Dorvern army rose to their feet almost as one. Suddenly there were far more Cumeelii in their midst then there had been. Gorren instinctively put his hand on the pommel of his sword, but he relaxed when he realised that the Cumeelii were watching the cave as well, and motioned for the men around him to stand down, too.
The leaders of the Cumeelii were the first to exit, followed immediately by the Dorvern Generals who had been spearheading the talks. Gorren hadn't seen anything that might have prompted the interruption in the negotiations. He looked around for some hint as to what was going on, but everyone seemed to be just as ignorant.
Gorren kept his eyes on General Lorch, and was moving almost before the General signalled for the Captains to approach. Jorm patted Gorren on the shoulder as he set off to find out what news the General had to disseminate.
By the time Gorren reached Lorch, each of the Generals was at the centre of a huddle of the senior officers in the brigades that they commanded. Lorch waited until all his subordinates had gathered before he began to speak.
"Gentlemen, as much fun as this little excursion has been, it appears we've had a wasted journey. We've just received word that the First Father of Felthiss is dead. It appears there's no more call for our aid. We're free to return home."
"They're not going to continue on against Vuthron without us?"asked Reyks, one of the more battle-hungry Captains.
"No. They have a new leader, and she does not share the same will to conquer the world that her brother did."
"She?" Gorren didn't think much for Reyks' sneer.
"Yes, she," answered Lorch. "Erkas' sister, Serwren, is the new leader of the country, and she's called her army back." Lorch grinned, and nodded at Gorren. "Seems you've married into their version of royalty."
Gorren didn't immediately dispute that, although if one were to discuss details, Elthrinn was no blood relation of Serwren's at all. He had already comprehended the meaning of the events. His first realisation was that he could go home, to his wife, safe and whole. His second realisation was that his wife, who had been promised in marriage as a means to an end, no longer had any duty to fulfil. There were no more threats hanging over her head now that Erkas was dead. Gorren's stomach turned as he determined that he couldn't not tell her that she was free to leave, if she wished.
Lorch gave them leave to impart the news to their men, with the instruction that they would begin to march for home immediately, lest they get trapped in bad weather in the mountains. As word spread around their camp, the hum of chatter rose, punctuated with whoops and cheers. There was no room in the army for men who were not willing to fight, but there was barely a man among them, except for the lovers of violence such as Reyks, who would not rather have been sat at a peaceful hearth with their friends and family. An army was nothing when it had nothing to fight for, and the Dorvern army held dear that which it fought to protect.
~o0o~
It seemed to Gorren that for all the speed they had made in their march to the Heranuc mountains, they crawled like snails as they returned on the path towards home. As soon as they had descended from the rocky slopes, riders had been dispatched ahead to inform the king that his army was returning, unneeded and unscathed.
The tramp of hundreds of boots announced their arrival, so they heard the cheers of the assembled welcoming crowds before they reached the edges of Cranak itself. Gorren's heart was in his throat. He was sure that he w
ould have received word if all was not well with Elthrinn, and yet he could not believe that she would be there, waiting for him, until he saw her. But then... he would have to tell her that she was free to go... He almost wished they had been trapped by snows in the Cradle of the Cumeelii; at least then he would have had the dream to cling to...
The ordered ranks descended into chaos as soldiers broke the lines to run to their waiting families. Not one man or woman hadn't felt the apprehension of the dire threat they'd been facing. Gorren and his friends embraced, slapping each other's backs, perhaps a little harder than was necessary, and took their leave until the morning. Gorren grinned as his friends went to find family, mead, and women, although not necessarily in that order.
His father and brother were as coldly aloof as ever, but Gorren paid them no heed at all, because he could see Elthrinn waiting by his mother's side. He stopped dead in his tracks in front of his wife. They were each frozen in place, the very strength of their feelings an invisible, but physical, barrier between them that neither could break. And then his mother gave Elthrinn a little push, and for the first time in his life it was not his mother's arms that welcomed him home.
When Elthrinn fell into his arms it was all Gorren could do to remember that she was flesh and blood, and could be crushed if he held her too tightly. He buried his face in her hair. Although he could feel her body shaking, he bit his lip to keep his own emotions locked away until they were out of sight of the crowd.
When he finally looked up, his father and brother were nowhere to be seen, but his mother was still there, watching them with an expression of fondness, and tears in her eyes.
The crowd around them was rapidly dissolving into the happy anarchy of some kind of impromptu town party.
"Thank the Grey Wolf you're home safe. We couldn't believe it when we heard." His mother's voice was catching on her tears.
"Neither could we." Gorren kept one arm firmly fixed around Elthrinn's shoulders, but he extended the other to fold his mother into his embrace. She submitted for a moment, and then pushed away.
"You two should go home. Elthrinn has kept it well in your absence, but now you're back she might be persuaded to eat again."
Gorren hadn't seen it before, because of the haze of joy that had clouded his vision, but now, when he really looked, he could see that Elthrinn was pale, and that dark circles smudged under her eyes. He could feel how slight her already slender frame had become.
He would have chastised her. He would have reminded her that she was supposed to have taken care of herself, not just their cottage, but he was simply too glad to be home, and to have her in his arms, to spoil the moment.
His mother gave them both a little push, and smiled. "Go. Neither of you have any business here."
Gorren murmured his thanks. There was something too deeply embarrassing about his mother obviously knowing why he needed time alone with his wife to be effusive. He tucked Elthrinn under his arm, intending to keep her close until someone arrived to drag him away, and set off through the rejoicing townsfolk, heading for home.
~o0o~
The first snows had fallen during their march home. Not enough to slow their progress, they were used to marching through much deeper drifts, but there was enough to turn the world white in places. In the town, there was little evidence of it at all. The heat from the hearth fires had melted the white blankets from the roofs of the houses. The constant tramp of passing feet had crushed the flakes that had smothered the ground to nothing but dirty slush and mud.
The days had been growing shorter since Kwek. In two nights it would be the moon of Degved. Instead of meeting an army at the boundary of country they were to invade, he would be at home, in his bed, in his wife's arms. Gorren tucked Elthrinn a little tighter against his side.
The sun was sinking below the horizon as they crested the rise to their cottage. Behind them, Gorren could hear the sounds of revelry. He turned briefly, and saw the glow of a large bonfire. He could catch the strains of cheering, and music, and singing. He grinned to himself, there would be some sore heads in the morning.
But Gorren didn't want to think about what other people were doing. He could see that Elthrinn had been keeping the cottage well, as his mother had said. All was neat and tidy. From the icy grey piles outside the door, he could see that she had cleared the snow, to form a path to the pen and sty he had built for the animals, and to clear some grass for them to forage.
"The family is well?" he asked.
"They're getting fat from snuffling under the pine needles in the forest."
As they reached the door of their home, Gorren slid his hand from Elthrinn's hip to her waist, and squeezed. "And yet you got thinner."
Elthrinn shrugged, and unlocked the door. Gorren ducked under the lintel, and looked around while she locked them inside. Everything was just as it had been when he'd left: clean, and neat, and cosy. It felt like they were beginning again, almost like they had been given some sort of second chance now that they didn't have the threat of an impossible war hanging over them. But Gorren couldn't relax, not until he knew for certain that their life was theirs to begin.
"This won't be the last time I leave, Rinn. And next time I might be gone longer. We've been a year fighting at Heethl before now. I need to know you won't waste away while I'm gone."
"I won't. Your mother will see to that. It might be easier next time. Now that I've seen you return once, I can believe it can happen again."
Gorren didn't like that Elthrinn didn't believe him. He had promised her that he would return, that he would always return, but she had doubted him.
"Rinn, do you still want to stay here?"
Elthrinn turned around; she had been hanging her cloak on a hook by the door. She was frowning with confusion. "What? Here? Of course I do. This is our home. Why? Were you thinking we should move back to the hall?"
He didn't miss the way she shrank into herself a little at the idea of living in the hall again, and he wondered at that, but that hadn't been what he'd meant.
"Rinn, don't you realise what it means for you? That there is no longer a war with Vuthron?"
"Yes, of course I do. It means you're home, and you're safe."
It was as if she was deliberately trying to misunderstand him. Gorren grasped her arms, and turned her to face him, holding her still. He needed her to understand the seriousness of what he was saying, of what he was telling her, giving her.
"No, Rinn. It means that you're free."
"What do you mean?"
Gorren was struck by the tears that sprang to her eyes. Moreso that he felt moisture on his own lashes.
"Rinn, don't you see? You don't have to stay here if you don't want to. Erkas is dead. He can't hurt you, or anyone you love. Serwren is the most powerful person in Felthiss. Your brother is home. You can return to them, if you want to."
"Do you want me to go?" Elthrinn's voice was so flat and dead that it hardly sounded like her voice. And she'd misunderstood him again.
"What? No! I want you to stay here, with me. I love you. When I was away, it felt like my heart was beating outside my chest. It was beating here in Cranak, with you, in the palm of your hand. I was just a shell. No, I don't want you to leave."
Gorren was glad to see her come back to life, but the anger that filled her empty eyes surprised him so much that he almost took a step back. He did stumble back when she broke free of his hold, and thumped her fists against his chest, uncaring of the breastplate he was wearing.
"Then how dare you suggest that I might want to l leave. I love you. I never thought I could love someone the way I love you, but I do. I didn't think I'd get the chance, even if I was capable. I've missed you, so much I can't even say. You took part of me with you, part of me that I needed to live. How fucking dare you suggest I could just turn, and walk away now, that I could just go home without a second thought."
Elthrinn spitting profanity at him was almost as shocking as hearing that his reverent love was re
turned in equal measure, but not half so pleasant. He tried to kiss her, but Elthrinn's lips were set in stern line.
"I'm sorry," he murmured. "I'm so sorry." When he tried to kiss her again, he found her softer, but still not responsive. "I don't want you to go. I need you to stay." She almost kissed him back. "Please, stay with me."
Elthrinn stilled him by catching his face in her palms, even though she had to stretch up on her toes to reach him. "I will. I will stay with you. 'Til the day I die, I'm yours."
Gorren needed to feel her. He needed to feel all of her. He needed to surround himself with her, inside and out. He caught her face, burying his fingers in the soft silk of her hair, and kissed her until the only thing that could stop him kissing her was the need to breathe. It seemed that Elthrinn was feeling the same frantic desire. They fumbled at their clothing with clumsy haste. Gorren's armour clanked as it hit the floor, dropped recklessly along with the rest of their garments.
Searching the Darkness (Erythleh Chronicles Book 2) Page 20