The door slammed shut and the van left. Once again, I was alone. Luckily I’d see him again soon. Unlike the voice. Who knew if he’d ever even talk to me again. He obviously had cared about me when I was captured. I thought we had become friends. More than friends. But you don’t just abandon the people you care about.
Holy crap. That was exactly what I was doing to everyone—my parents, brothers, Kara—by refusing to let them in after my return. If I was having trouble talking about what happened with the people I loved, was it possible that the voicewas somehow afraid to talk to me now?
Before first period on Friday, Caleb pulled me aside. “I need to tell you something.” Several students passed by, the girls staring daggers at me. I had a feeling where this was going. “I broke up with Hannah last night, but I don’t want you to get the wrong idea.”
“And what would that be?” Just because he was gorgeous and a football player didn’t mean every girl swooned over him. Especially me.
“Hannah and I weren’t right for each other. That’s why we broke up. I don’t want people to misinterpret the reasoning.” He looked deep into my eyes, searching for something.
“So you’re afraid people might think we’re more than just friends?”
“Yeah.”
“Caleb, you know there’s nothing going on between us. And I really don’t care what anyone else thinks.” I walked away before he could respond, wanting to maintain some sense of dignity.
During break, I saw Justin with that girl again. They were in line at one of the food carts, standing close to each other, talking. Justin laughed, and I found that beyond irritating. When I passed by them, they stopped talking, and she stared at me. I just wanted this day to be over.
To make matters worse, Kate had a staff meeting after school, so I had to ride home with the boys. When we arrived, I jumped out of the Jeep, purposely ignoring them, and went to get the mail. Inside the mailbox was one single letter, with my name on it. There wasn’t any postage or markings on the envelope. I stood there, staring at it.
“Makayla, what’s wrong?” Caleb asked. Both boys were by the Jeep, watching me.
I couldn’t leave the letter sitting there, so I grabbed it. “Nothing.” I started toward the house.
Caleb blocked me. “Let me see,” he said, reaching for the envelope.
Keeping it away from him, I slowly tore it open. There was a typed letter inside.
You can run, but you can’t hide. I’m watching you. Like the new look. Can’t wait to try it out.
The writing blurred from my shaking hands and watering eyes. Then everything went black.
Chapter 14
A dark fog engulfed me, the mist dancing around my body, making my hair damp and my clothes cling to me.
A small white glow appeared in the distance. I ran toward it.
“She’s been out for five minutes,” someone said. The voice was muffled, like the speaker was in a tunnel.
Another person, louder now, “I know. Let’s give her a minute. I’m sure she’ll be fine.” It felt like someone sat next to me. “Can’t you tell anything?” There was a hard edge to his voice. I recognized it was Caleb.
I reached the white glow and the fog receded.
“She’s coming around.” I felt someone’s hand brush my face. The hand was warm and safe. When it left me, I shuddered.
My eyes flew open. Caleb was next to me, texting. I was lying on a bed in an unfamiliar room. The walls were a pale pink and the comforter had a flowery print.
Movement caught my attention. Justin stood at the end of the bed. He took a deep breath and looked down.
“I texted Kate and she’s on her way,” Caleb said, looking at his brother.
Justin pointed at me.
“Finally!” Caleb exclaimed. “Are you okay?” His hand brushed the hair off my forehead. Caleb’s hand felt noticeably cooler than the one I had felt earlier. Justin caught my gaze and left the room.
“Where’s the note?” I asked, remembering what happened.
“You dropped it when you fell over. We didn’t want to touch it—you know, in case there were fingerprints or something. Justin’s acting like he’s CSI. He went to get tweezers and put the letter in a Ziploc bag. Kate said she would take care of everything when she got here.”
I wondered why they had brought me up to their mom’s room instead of the couch downstairs. Using my arms, I slowly sat up.
“Why don’t you lie back down and rest until Kate gets here,” Caleb suggested.
“I want to go home.”
Shrugging, Caleb slowly helped me up. I felt lightheaded, but it wasn’t anything unmanageable. He held my arm on the stairs, just in case.
Justin was waiting for us by the front door, holding the Ziploc bag with the letter in it like it was a bomb. So subtle that I almost missed it, Justin shot Caleb a cold look.
“You help her then.” Caleb immediately released my arm and carefully took the bag of evidence from Justin.
“I can manage.” There was no need for the boys to follow me around.
“No,” Caleb replied. “We’re staying with you until Kate gets here.” He opened the door and gestured for me to go first.
Despite my protests, I was glad to have the company, even if I was nervous around Justin. Outside, the fresh air helped clear my head, but when I opened the door to Kate’s house, I totally forgot about the step down into her living room. I stumbled, but Justin quickly grabbed my arm. His hand was warm and soothing, and when I glanced up to his face, our eyes locked, and I couldn’t move. His stare was so intense that I held my breath. He opened his mouth to say something, but the door from the garage burst open, and Kate ran inside, breaking the spell.
“Are you okay?”
Justin released me and slowly moved away.
“I’m fine.”
Caleb handed her the bag containing the note. Kate cursed and then declared that she was calling the police.
“And I need to call my parents.” I said, thankful that Bret was already gone. My brothers were worried enough. If Bret were still here, he never would’ve left, and I didn’t want to disrupt his life.
Justin’s head snapped toward Caleb, who raised his hands, surrendering for some unknown reason. They stared at one another for a minute. I’d heard about twins sharing special bonds or connections, but the two of them were really strange sometimes.
Shaking my head, I grabbed my cell and left a message for my parents, telling them to call me back.
By the end of the call, Justin was gone, but Caleb stayed next to me on the couch while Kate was in the other room on her phone. “Want to tell me what’s going on?” he asked.
“Not really.”
“Would it help if I told you we already know?”
I stared at him. His face was a mixture of regret and sympathy. I was used to seeing that expression. I wondered how he found out. Great. No wonder Justin was so distant.
“Kate told us that night you ran off. We played along, figuring that if you wanted us to know, you would’ve told us.”
Kate came back in and sat down across from me. “The police are sending an officer over to get the letter and take a statement. They’re still not convinced it’s Bill.”
It was just like my parents all over again—don’t worry, everything’s fine. Well, I wasn’t going to be caught off-guard twice. I was taking the threat seriously.
***
I was lying on the mattress, Bill’s breath pressed hot and heavy against my face.
“You’re mine. It’s only a matter of time,” he whispered in my ear. My body froze. I tried to scream, but nothing came out. Bill rolled on top of me, his hands sliding up my sides. “You can’t escape me. No one will help you this time.”
I tried to lift my arms to fight him off, but they wouldn’t move. Panic swelled inside of me. Not again. Please not again.
Come on, Audrey. Wake up.
I bolted upright, my body visibly shaking.
Are yo
u okay?
“I think so,” I breathed. The dream had really shaken me up. “Stay with me,” I blurted out.
There was silence.
“I need you.”
I gotta go.
“Please!”
He sighed. Okay. If you go to sleep, I’ll stay with you.
I smiled and rolled onto my side, knowing he was watching over me.
Whatever you want, he whispered, and I drifted back to sleep.
The following evening, Kate was in the kitchen making popcorn while I went through her DVDs, trying to decide what I could handle. Something funny would be best. My phone rang, and I answered it without thinking.
“Audrey?”
I didn’t recognize who it was, so I didn’t say anything, but I could hear the person breathing heavily.
“Did you get my letter?” he sang in a low, soft voice.
I froze. What the hell. “Bill?”
“Is that who you think called and left the note?” He laughed. “You can call me Bill if you like. He left me very specific details of your time together. I feel . . . I feel like I know you already.”
This could not be happening. I could barely hold the phone, my hands were shaking so badly. “What do you want?” I demanded.
“I’m just checking on you. Until next time.” The phone went dead.
It felt like I had been chucked into Lake Erie at night, and I couldn’t get my bearings. Head spinning, I gasped for air and forced my body to calm down. I looked at the screen. Caller unknown. I threw the phone on the floor and stomped on it, smashing it into pieces. I must have been screaming, because Kate ran into the room.
She flipped out and called the police, my parents, and even my therapist. My life seemed to be rewinding. The police came over and filled out a report. The therapist asked me how I was handling the stress—needless to say, that conversation didn’t go too well. When my parents heard what happened, they wanted me on the next plane home. After much discussion, they decided I could stay with Kate until the police assessed the threat. However, I wasn’t to be left alone at any time. Which was fine by me.
Since Caleb and Justin knew what was really going on, they volunteered to be my bodyguards. I wasn’t sure how I felt about that.
The next week, I was lying on Caleb’s bed, studying, while he sat backward on his desk chair.
“Audrey.”
“Yes?” I answered, liking the fact that he used my real name.
“You’re not even paying attention. The test is tomorrow.”
“Sorry. I have other things on my mind.” Like my psychotic uncle and the stalker guy.
“You didn’t get any other threats, did you?” he asked calmly.
“No, but I’m expecting one any minute.” I hadn’t heard from my stalker guy since Saturday. I was due for another dose of insanity.
“Maybe that’s what he wants,” Caleb suggested. I looked at him, confused. “He’s probably trying to mess with your head, and it’s obviously working.”
Would I ever get past this? Would it ever end?
Caleb winced, like he was in pain. “Hungry?” he asked. “Want something to drink?” I shook my head. “I’ll be right back.” He left, closing the door behind him.
I decided to go to the bathroom to splash some water on my face. I needed to wake up and focus. The bathroom was down the hall, next to Justin’s closed door.
As I got closer, I could hear Caleb arguing with him in a hushed whisper. They seemed to be doing that a lot lately.
It sounded like Caleb was speaking. “They’re his crimes. Not ours, not yours. And you need to live your life.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Justin’s whispered response was angry. I knew I should return to Caleb’s room, but stayed frozen in place. My brain said to move, but my legs refused to cooperate.
“She needs you,” Caleb said.
“Seems like you’ve got it taken care of,” Justin whispered.
“But I’m not in love with her,” Caleb responded.
“Neither am I.”
Caleb laughed. “You’re full of shit. Trust me, I know. Or have you forgotten?”
“Get out of here. Now.”
I slipped back into Caleb’s room, wondering why Justin had so many problems with his girlfriend.
When Caleb returned, he resumed his position on the chair, staring at me. “What?” I asked, shaking my head.
“I’m done studying. You’re obviously not into it.” I guessed that was my cue to pack up and leave. “So you’re from Pittsburgh?” Caleb asked.
“Bethel Park, about twenty minutes from downtown Pittsburgh.”
“Got a boyfriend back home?”
This again? “No. I had one. We broke up though. I mean, we had just started going out when I was . . . taken. When I got back, there was an email. He couldn’t deal with everything.” No guy was ever going to want to be with me when they found out I’d been raped.
“His loss.”
I stared at Caleb incredulously. “Oh, come on,” I said. “He knew what happened to me.” Caleb raised his eyebrows and shrugged his shoulders. “How am I supposed to be close to someone after what I’ve been through?” I couldn’t bring myself to say the R-word out loud to Caleb.
“I’m not following you,” he responded. “Is your life over? Are you dead?”
“No, but—”
“But nothing, Audrey. You’re cute and smart. Any guy would be lucky to be with you. What happened to you was horrible and it shouldn’t have happened. But it did. Now you’re stronger because of it. Don’t let it destroy your future.”
I couldn’t look at him. My eyes filled with tears. What I said next shocked me. “I’m afraid.” I hadn’t been this honest with anyone but Kate.
“Of what?” he probed.
“Of what I’ll do.” I glanced at Caleb. He looked confused. “What if I go to kiss someone and I freak out? I don’t know how my body is going to react to being physically close to someone.” There. I had said it.
Caleb let out a long breath. “That is something to consider. But look how far you’ve come. When I first met you, I couldn’t even touch you.” He got up and walked over to the bed, sitting down next to me. He gently brushed the hair off my shoulder.
It sounded like a door slammed. I flinched. “Still a little jumpy though.” We sat in silence for a moment. “Audrey, when you’re with the right person, you’ll react like you should.”
How did he know? His hands reached out and gently took mine. Caleb’s eyes searched me, making sure I was okay. He was my friend, but I was still surprised he sat so close, holding my hands. And I was sort of okay with it.
“Let’s do an experiment,” Caleb began. “I’ll kiss you, and we’ll see how you respond.”
“I don’t think so.” I pulled my hands away, definitely not okay anymore. What was he doing? Testing me?
“Why not?” he asked. “It’s the perfect opportunity to see how you’ll react to someone who doesn’t want to hurt you.” I shook my head. I was not ready for this, certainly not with Caleb. “Listen,” he placed his hands on my shoulders, trying to steady me. “If you can kiss me, then you can kiss someone you actually like and won’t have to worry whether you’ll go psycho.”
Another door slammed.
Caleb let go of my shoulders and put his finger under my chin, forcing me to meet his blue eyes.
He was serious. But I couldn’t just kiss someone, could I? What he was saying made sense. It would be nice to know if I could ever handle something like that. However, my experience with kissing was fairly limited. I’d only had three boyfriends, and they didn’t last long. Kissing Caleb would be awkward at best. Or worse, I would freak out.
And if I kissed him, would things be strange between us?
“Audrey, it’s just a kiss. According to Hannah, I’m fairly good at it. So what do you have to lose? We’re two friends, just testing your response. That’s all.”
Before I could decide, Cale
b slid his hands on either side of my face, cradling it as if I were delicate. His touch was different, and it didn’t feel gross. Caleb’s lips softly brushed mine. Then he hesitated. “Are you okay?” he whispered, just inches from me.
I nodded, unable to answer. He closed his eyes. Was he going to kiss me again? I shut mine too, anticipating his touch. His lips met mine, only this time, he deepened the kiss, tasting like salt and lemonade.
Caleb’s bedroom door flew open, and we jumped apart. Justin stood there, eyes burning directly into Caleb, never glancing my way. For some reason, I felt guilty. Embarrassed.
“You forced my hand,” Caleb snapped, leaping up off the bed. Justin stormed down the stairs and Caleb ran after him. I couldn’t move.
“Leave her alone,” echoed from below. It must have been Justin speaking. It was hard to tell, with the acid seeping through his voice. “You have no idea what she’s been through.”
The words cut me like a knife. That was the reaction I expected from everyone who knew. Caleb let me believe for a second that it didn’t matter, but Justin brought it all back into perspective. So Justin didn’t like me for exactly the reason I feared.
“She’s not ruined. And if you’re not going to do anything, someone else is,” Caleb said.
“Oh, and that someone is you?”
“You know I don’t like her that way. Although, the girl can kiss, and I am actually rethinking my position on the matter.”
There was a loud “umph,” followed by an “ouch.”
“Why are you fighting me on this?” Caleb sounded like he was in pain. Definitely punched in the stomach. Having three brothers, I knew to stay out of it—stepping in would only make matters worse.
But why was Justin so worked up? Maybe he didn’t want his brother with someone like me.
A few seconds later, a door slammed, the Jeep’s engine roared to life, and tires peeled out of the driveway. I silently let myself out and went back to Kate’s. She would be home soon, and I couldn’t face either twin right now.
I decided to read a book. Reading usually kept my mind from wandering to unwanted places. It didn’t work though. I kept replaying that kiss in my mind. I didn’t have romantic feelings toward Caleb, but I really, really enjoyed that kiss. Perhaps it was because the last kiss I had was so revolting. I shuddered, not wanting to think about what Bill had done to me.
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