by Claire Adams
"Liz, where have you been?" I demanded as I answered the call.
"Alex?" she said in a weak voice. "Alex? Help me..."
"Liz, what's going on? Where are you?" I shouted into the phone. "Where are you?"
"Bathroom, Alex. Help me..." She trailed off, and I heard the phone hit the floor.
"LIZ!" I screamed. "Pick up the phone! Tell me where you are!"
On the other end, all I could hear was the sound of Liz wheezing and calling my name over and over.
"What's going on?" Cam asked with a concerned look.
"It's Liz, we need to find her," I said as I grabbed my coat and keys and ushered Cam out the door. "You drive."
I instructed Cam on how to get to Liz's apartment complex and he let me off at the door before he went to find a parking spot.
"She's in 3D," I called before I slammed the truck's door and ran for the building. The doorman let me in and I told him to let Cam in when he came back. I looked at him and said, "We may need an ambulance, too."
Scared to take the time to wait for the elevator, I raced up three flights of stairs and pounded on Liz's door. When she didn't answer, I opened the door with the key she'd given me for emergencies.
"Liz! Liz! Are you here?" I called as I raced through the apartment. The place was a mess with dirty dishes on every surface and clothing strewn across the floor. I hadn't been there since New Year's Eve, and I had no idea Liz was struggling.
"Liz! Where are you?" I yelled as I pushed open the bathroom door and found her lying on the floor. She was bleeding from a cut on her forehead and was mumbling incoherently.
"Alex, where are you?" Cam called as I grabbed a towel and blotted the blood on Liz's head.
"In here! Call an ambulance!" I shouted as I cradled Liz in my lap and spoke softly to her. "C'mon Liz, stay with me. You're going to be okay. I promise."
"It hurts, Alex," she cried as I held the towel to her head.
"I know, sweetie," I said as I stroked her hair and gently rocked her.
"They'll be here shortly," Cam said as he appeared in the doorway. "Is she high?"
"Shhh," I said, shaking my head. "I don't know."
The paramedics arrived a few minutes later to assess the situation. Cam talked with them as they scooped Liz up and prepared to take her to General. I hugged her before they wheeled her to the elevator and told her I'd be at the hospital when she woke up.
"Not good," Liz mumbled as she shook her head. "I'm not good."
"You're fine, Liz," I said as tears welled up. I squeezed her hand and then the paramedics motioned that they had to go. After they left, I pulled together a bag of clothes and things for Liz in case they decided to admit her to the hospital, and as I did it, I searched her drawers looking for evidence of drugs.
"Do you think she's using drugs?" Cam asked as we drove to the hospital.
"It seems like it, doesn't it?" I said as a nagging doubt entered the picture. "But there wasn't any drug paraphernalia at the apartment, and I've never seen her do more than get drunk."
"Maybe she's drinking?" he suggested as we pulled into a parking spot.
"You don't have to go with me," I said as I opened the door.
"Nonsense, of course I'll go with you." He smiled. "And when everything checks out, we'll go back to my place and eat the dinner I fixed. I'm sure we'll be hungry by then."
The receptionist at the front desk recognized me and waved me through. Liz was in an exam room lying motionless on the bed when I sat down and took her hand.
"They took blood and they're running tests," Leslie said as she came through the curtain to start an IV. "Did she take anything that you know of?"
"No, I've never seen her take drugs or anything," I said, shaking my head. "She's been acting strange for a while, though. I wondered if she was using something, but she denied it, so I let it go."
"We'll figure it out," Leslie said with a reassuring smile. "She'll be okay. Can you call her parents?"
"I can try, but they're missionaries who live in Chile," I said. "I'm her emergency contact here in the states."
Leslie nodded before heading back to the nurses’ station to make notes on Liz's chart. I looked up at Cam, who put his hand on my shoulder and kept it there.
"Liz, can you hear me?" I said, leaning forward as I took her hand. "Liz? If you can hear me, squeeze my hand."
"Alex," she said as she weakly squeezed my fingers. "Help me."
"I'm here, Liz," I said, smoothing her hair as I held her hand. "We'll figure this out, and you'll be okay."
Liz smiled as she drifted back to sleep.
#
Leslie came back into the exam area a little while later and said they were moving Liz up to a bed in the psychiatric unit.
"She's not crazy!" I protested. "She's sick!"
"Look, I know it seems tough, but she's presenting with all the signs of someone with a drug addiction," Leslie said, patting my arm. "We'll get the results from her blood work and move her up there until she comes around. Then we'll get her started in the recovery program."
"It's not right," I said, shaking my head. "She's not doing drugs!"
"Alex, I know it's hard to accept that someone you love might have a substance abuse problem, but you need to let go and let her get help," Leslie said quietly. "We'll take excellent care of her, and you'll be able to come see her as soon as we get her back among the coherent."
I realized I had little choice in the matter, so I signed Liz into the ward and told them to tell her I'd be back in the morning. Cam wrapped an arm around me as we walked out of the ER, and I leaned into him as I tried not to break into tears.
"She's not an addict," I said once we were in the truck again. "I know she's not."
"Then let them figure it all out and get her the help she needs," Cam said diplomatically. "Are you hungry? I've got dinner ready at home, if you are."
I nodded as I fought back the tears as Cam simply reached over and took my hand. We drove in silence back to his place.
The house was a beautiful, little two- story on the West Side of town. Cam explained that it was nestled in a neighborhood that had seen better days but was now slowly rebuilding itself. He told me about how he'd spent hours working on the outer trim and making sure all of the elements from the roofing to the paint job were absolutely perfect.
"You've been lonely, haven't you?" I said quietly as he described the summer he spent sanding all of the gutters so he could paint them the perfect shade of cream to match the house. He didn't say anything, but I saw his jaw tighten.
At the house, he pulled into the garage and I could hear barking on the other side of the door. He smiled as he opened the door and a blur of yellow fur came tumbling out, wagging her tail and woofing a welcome.
"Alex, this is Tesla. Tesla, this is Alex," Cam said introducing us to one another.
"Hello, Tesla, it's nice to meet you," I said, squatting down so we were eye level and offering my hand to her. She looked up at Cam who nodded and then she walked cautiously around me sniffing and bumping me with her nose. I waited patiently without moving until she'd made her assessment and laughed loudly as she leaned in and licked my face.
"I think she approves of you." Cam laughed as he ruffled her fur and said to her, "C'mon, you want to go out, girl?"
Tesla ran for the back door and waited with her tail wagging. Cam turned on the backlight and let her out into the yard. I caught of glimpse of the perfectly manicured lawn and garden and wondered how long it had taken him to create that.
"Yeah, I've been lonely," he said without explaining further. "Dinner?"
We sat down to a delicious dinner of pot roast with winter vegetables and a fresh salad. The table was a dark walnut that had been shined to the point that I could have used it as a mirror. It was surrounded by six, beautiful leather chairs in a shade of rust that came close to matching Cam's wild, wavy curls. I pointed this out, and he laughed at the coincidence.
"Did you make this?" I as
ked, stroking the table as I imagined his strong hands working the wood.
"No, I found it in a second-hand shop and had it polished," he said as he poured wine into the glass in front of me. He toasted and then sat quietly for a moment before he said, "Quinn never saw the finished house."
"Thank you for sharing your accomplishment with me." I smiled as I tucked my fantasies away in a far corner of my brain. Cam wasn't ready to go there with me, so I said, "And thank you for helping me and Liz."
"It's the least I can do," he said as he dug into the meal.
As I watched him eat, it struck me that there was something on his mind, but I knew that he wasn't going to talk about it until he was ready, so I steered the conversation in a comfortable direction, giving him space to figure it out. A couple of times, I saw him take a deep breath as if he was going to say something, but then he would back off and offer me seconds or more wine. I knew the weight of whatever he was carrying was getting heavier by the minute, but I couldn't make him do anything he wasn't ready to do.
"Alex, I have to share something with you," he said as we curled up on the living room couch drinking coffee and eating a decadent chocolate dessert that he'd picked up from a French bakery near the station.
"Mmm hmm," I said as I took a bite of the cake and licked frosting off of the fork.
"Six months after Quinn died, I learned that I was the beneficiary of her life insurance policy," he began. "I didn't want the money because there was no amount of money that was going to ease the pain of losing her, but I got the check anyway. So, I decided to do something productive with it, and I invested it in a business, and now..."
"Now what?" I asked. I could feel the weight of his burden in his sigh. "It's okay, Cam, you can tell me whatever it is that's bothering you."
"I don't know, Alex, I'm not sure you're going to like what I have to tell you," he said as he looked down at the sleeping dog at his feet.
"You're going to have to take a chance," I said, reaching out for his hand and squeezing it. He looked at me for a few moments before he began to speak again.
"My business is a security company. It's run by my best friend, Leo, and we've built it into a very profitable company over the past ten years," he said carefully. "Now we've been offered a contract that will send our profits through the roof and garner a lot of attention."
"Okay, so what's the problem with that?" I asked, feeling a lump forming in the pit of my stomach, but wanting to hear him out.
"The condition of the new contract is that we have to publicly support our client," he said, holding my gaze. There was a fierce intensity in his eyes, and I knew that what he was going to say next was going to be the deal-breaker. "We're going to sign a contract to provide security to Richard Metzler during his campaign, and for that we're going to make an enormous amount of money and get a lot of publicity."
"And this affects me how?" I asked, pulling back a bit. I could feel the tension between us building as I looked at him. Everything in me said to get up and walk away from this situation.
"I...I wanted you to know that I've got a lot of money and that I'm going to be in the public eye after we sign the contract," he said hesitatingly. "I know how you feel about wealth, but I wasn't sure how..."
"I see," I said, holding his gaze. My protective inner voice screamed, "Run!" but the voice of the woman who had already fallen for Cam begged me to stay. "I don't know, Cam."
"Okay." He shrugged as he let go of my hand and picked up his coffee cup.
I knew I was disappointing him, but I didn't know how I felt about this development. The guy who I'd thought was a working-class firefighter with a painful past had suddenly morphed into a rich guy who was about to become very well known. If I stuck with him, I was going to be subjected to the glare of the spotlight, too. Not only that, but he was Violet’s father!
"Look, Alex, I know it's a lot to throw at you tonight, but I felt like I needed to tell you before Leo and I go public with it," he said, squaring his shoulders as he waited for me to speak.
"I don't know, Cam," I said softly. "I just don't know if I can deal with this right now. There's a lot about my history that I don't want being publicly consumed, but I also don't want to throw out what we share."
He set his cup down and reached for me, and without a word I melted into his arms. I leaned against his chest as he wrapped his strong arms around me and rested his chin on top of my head. I closed my eyes and tried to think clearly about this revelation.
"I'm scared, Cam," I whispered as I turned my head to look up at him.
"I am, too, Alex," he said softly as he bent down and kissed me.
I felt the familiar surge of desire flow through my body as I kissed him back, and all of my defense mechanisms crumbled as he slowly ran his hands down my body. Everything about this felt right, and yet I couldn't let go of the small nagging doubt that fluttered around the edge of my brain.
"Cam..."I gasped as I pulled back and looked into his emerald eyes. I wanted him, there was no doubt about that, but could I live with the reality of his life?
My phone cut through the heavy weight of expectation as it rang in my purse. I leapt off of the couch and ran to answer it.
"Alex, it's Leslie," the nurse said. "I think you need to get back her. Liz is having a rough time and she's calling for you."
"I'm on my way!" I cried as I looked at Cam and motioned to the truck. I hung up and said, "I have to get back to the hospital. Liz needs me."
"I'll take you," he said as he grabbed his coat and keys and headed to the garage with Tesla close at his heels. He turned and said, "Not this time, girl. I'll be back in a bit and we'll go for a run. Stay."
Tesla immediately backed up and sat on the kitchen floor looking up at Cam as if she completely understood what he'd asked of her. I marveled at the obedience as I slipped my coat on and headed out the door.
"Thank you, Tesla," I said as I passed the patient pup and patted her on the head. She let out a soft woof and then lay down on the floor with her chin between her paws.
Cam drove as fast as he could without putting us in danger of getting pulled over as I looked out the windshield wondering if Liz was going to be okay.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Cam
I didn't say anything as I drove Alex to the hospital. I knew we were going to have to talk about what I'd told her, but I also knew that this was not the right time to broach the subject. Alex was worried about Liz and she needed to handle the situation before we could talk about our future.
"Do you want me to come in with you?" I asked as I looked over and saw a lone tear running down Alex's cheek. She reached up and quickly wiped it away as she nodded.
I parked the truck on a side street and took her hand as we walked to the hospital entrance. Alex asked for Liz's room number and then headed for the elevator.
"I'm scared, Cam," she whispered as we ascended to the sixth floor. "I don't know what to do to help her if she won't let me."
"I know," I said, taking her hand and squeezing it gently. "We'll figure it out...together. But first, let's just see how Liz is doing and find out if she needs anything, okay?"
Alex gave me a look of gratitude before she stood on her tiptoes and kissed my cheek. She held my hand as we walked down the hall to Liz's room but dropped it just before we walked through the door. For a moment, I felt hurt, but when I saw Liz lying in the bed looking very small and pale, I understood Alex's impulse to protect her and hung back in the doorway.
"Liz? It's Alex, I'm here, sweetie," Alex said softly as she sat down on the edge of the bed and took Liz's hand.
"Alex?" Liz mumbled as she tried to open her eyes. "Alex? I don't feel so good."
"I know, sweetie," Alex said, smoothing her hair as she held Liz's hand. "They're trying to figure out why, so you need to help them, okay? Tell them everything so they can fix you."
"I did," Liz said softly as she forced her eyes open and looked at Alex. Tears welled up as she spoke
, "I told them everything. I don't know why I'm feeling so bad, Alex."
"Are you sure, Liz?" Alex asked as she leaned forward. "Are you sure you told them everything you can possibly think of?"
"I'm not doing drugs, if that's what you're asking," Liz said as she clung to Alex. "Everyone thinks I'm a drug addict, but I'm not. I swear I'm not."
"I believe you, Liz," Alex said looking away from her friend. I could tell by her expression that she wasn't entirely convinced that Liz was telling the truth but that she didn't want to challenge her friend while she was struggling with such a serious problem. "We'll figure out a way to make it all better, okay?"
"You don't believe me," Liz said in a flat voice. "I can always tell when you don't believe what I'm telling you."
"Liz, look, I believe you," Alex said as she sat back. "I'm just really worried about you. I want you to get help."
"Fuck you, Alex," Liz said in the same flat tone. "You don't believe me. Get out."
"Liz, don't do this," Alex pleaded.
"I said, get out," Liz repeated as she pulled her hand away and looked out the window. I could hear the pain in her voice and I knew she wasn't kidding. She looked back at Alex and yelled, “GET OUT!"
Startled, Alex stood up and rushed out of the room without looking back. I thought about following her, but thought better of it when I looked back at Liz and saw her hunched over holding her head in her hands.
"Liz, are you okay?" I asked as I walked across the room and sat down in the chair next to her bed. "You know she just wants what's best for you."
"I know," Liz sobbed into her hands. "But I can't get anyone to believe me! I swear I'm not taking drugs, but I don't know what's wrong with me!"
"All right, let's say that I believe you -- because I do," I said, looking at her tear-stained face as she raised her head. "The question is what's going on? What's happening to you?"
"I don't know!" Liz cried as she ran her hand through her hair. "All I know is that I'm tired all the time, I'm tripping and falling down a lot, and I can't think clearly. I thought it was because I was stressed out and tired, but after last night, I know it has to be something more than that, I just don't know what it is and the doctors can't figure it out."