He shook his head to rid himself of his morose thoughts, his fatigue from too little sleep and too many worries, and his need for his One. It always came back to her for him. And he doubted she had the same trouble dismissing him from her thoughts. A low growl issued from his throat, and he spun on his heel, padded into his sanitation room, and went straight to the shower. A sigh slid out as he sent a mental command for the water to flow. It pelted him from multiple directions and he set his hands against the slick metal wall, bowed his head, and let the heated liquid slide over him, washing the scent of his own passion away.
The connection between his One and him was still open, and it narrowed as she transitioned into true dreams, but a final wave of her lust slammed into him, almost dragging him to his knees. His cock went hard in an instant, aching with need he’d just spent. Such passion under her cynical exterior. If he wasn’t so attuned to her, he’d never have guessed it. The knowledge drove him wild, though, and the beast he always wrestled with for dominance purred in satisfaction as echoes of Bren’s pleasure rippled through his body.
Anun save him. He groaned, and the sound resonated within the small, metal-walled room. The need for her nagged at him, his body demanding what he couldn’t have. Closing his eyes, he slid his hand down his stomach until he grasped his cock. Another groan ripped from his throat. He pumped the length of his dick between his fingers, and the rhythm was fast, punishing.
He wanted her with him as she had been before and cursed his weakness. Testing the connection between them, he found she’d awakened. He drew away from the link between them so she wouldn’t be forced to feel what he felt, though the beast within him struggled against the loss of contact.
Instead he conjured an image of her in his mind, allowing himself the true fantasy this time. Her long, rich brown hair spread over his bedclothes. Her toned body arched, her nipples tight with need. By Anun, she was beautiful. The hot water sluiced over his flesh, a liquid caress that only served to arouse him further. His breath sped and sweat slid down his face to mingle with the shower water. The sound of his heart pounding filled his ears as he pictured Bren’s hands clutching at his shoulders, her legs wrapped around his waist as she demanded he take her, touch her, fuck her harder.
“Yesss.” The feline within made the word a hiss, and it echoed in the sanitation room. His cock throbbed, his hips slamming forward to plunge his shaft into the tight ring of his fingers. Too easily, he could imagine the slick sheath of her body. When the mental connection snapped into place, it was strong, and he knew her body as she did. Every curve, every smooth inch of skin.
His muscles locked as he came, the mere thought of her enough to shove him into orgasm. Come erupted from him in spurts, waves of heat flowing through him. He shuddered hard, stroked his cock until there was nothing left, and held tight to the fantasy of his One in his bed, where he knew she would never be.
He didn’t want to bond with her, but given the opportunity to fuck her, he wouldn’t hesitate. He craved her and he could never touch her, not truly, not with the way things stood between their people. Something painful wrenched deep inside him at that thought. So many tangled wants and needs, so many barriers and obstacles. He shook his head, slumping against the wall, as exhausted as if he hadn’t slept at all.
Anun, he was tired of it. He wanted all of this madness to end.
“Shower off. Dryer on.” The water stopped flowing and instead gusts of warm air shot from the same spigots that had spouted the water moments before. Even though the air was hot, he shivered as it hit the moisture on his skin, gooseflesh breaking down his arms and legs. Shoving his fingers into his short hair, he rumpled the wet strands and sent droplets flying.
A few minutes later, he was dressed, neat, and ready to start his workday. Walking toward the door, he stopped short when his gaze caught on a hologram flickering across one wall that he’d programmed his imager to display. It was the only part of his room that had any personal meaning. A hologram of his family, smiling and happy, mocked him silently. He had no family now. He was the last Arjun.
His gaze moved over his mother’s face. She had laughter dancing in her eyes. His father radiated pride, one hand on Farid’s shoulder, the other holding his mate’s. In the center was his sister, beautiful and bright as a sunbeam. Cilji. She’d been so young then, and Farid himself had been barely of age. So long ago, so many wonderful memories that would never be more than that now. Gone. All gone. He’d lost them one by one, each death more heartrending than the next.
The image dissolved and a holofilm his mother had taken of his graduation from the academy began playing. He drew himself up, took a deep breath, and tugged at his sleeves to be certain they were in place. Turning away from what no longer was, he left his room.
It was rare he allowed himself to think of that time. He preferred the happier version of his family captured by the imagers. It must be this dilemma with Bren that had him tripping over the past, unable to get out of its way and let it rest.
But the past was what made him what he was, the loss of his family was what made the very idea of bonding with his One so abhorrent to him. He shuddered, Cilji’s lifeless eyes flashing through his memory, her blood drying on his skin as the warmth left her slender body. He’d never understand the actions she or her One had taken. He just knew that he’d been left to pick up the pieces. He’d been left to answer the questions of others. And he was the one left wondering why.
The only answer he had was that he never, ever wanted to be in a position to make those same choices. He was of an age that he’d thought he could rest assured he didn’t have a One, that he could marry a Kith of appropriate social standing and rebuild his line. He still intended to once they returned home. If they ever returned home. He ruthlessly subdued the feline’s screech of protest at touching anyone besides its mate. The man had a duty to the Arjun name that the instinct-driven beast would never understand. Duty that had nothing to do with Bren or Ones or even desire. His body throbbed at the reminder of the desire Bren and he shared. If the dreams were so intense, it was dangerous to even allow himself to imagine truly touching her.
He sighed, rubbing the grit from his eyes.
“You look terrible.”
Farid was chuckling before his hand left his face. The ship’s second in command came striding down the hall, a wide grin on his face. “Haakesh. Diplomatic as ever, I see.”
Haakesh gave a brief salute, the light overhead glinting off the short man’s shiny pate. “It is amazing I’ve advanced this far in the fleet, is it not?”
“I think you have your One to thank for that. How is Mythri?” In truth, Haakesh was too likeable for anyone to ever take offense. His men loved him and would follow him anywhere. Add that to being a fearless soldier and it was no mystery why he’d achieved the rank he had. Whatever he lacked in finesse, his One more than managed to smooth over in her position in the diplomatic corps. To Farid’s mind, the two of them were the perfect Kith pairing. His parents had been like that before they’d met their tragic end. One more reason to avoid Bren—even when things seemed perfect in a bond, they were always a single step from pain, disaster, and death.
Haakesh grinned wickedly, his white teeth flashing in contrast with his dark skin. “I left Mythri resting in our rooms. She’ll be recovered sufficiently when her work shift starts.”
Farid coughed into his fist to hide a smile, unable to withstand Haakesh’s good cheer. “As her superior, I can only express the diplomatic corps’ gratitude at your restraint.”
The older man laughed, clapped Farid on the shoulder, and continued down the hallway and around a corner. The main shift was about to start. Farid’s shift. When not guided by the sunlight on their home planet of Suen, they divided the day into three shifts. Mythri and Haakesh worked the second shift, which meant they could spend the other two together. Farid was glad for both of them that the emperor had seen fit to bring diplomats on this voyage.
Then again, it could be
because Farid had suggested it to his younger cousin, and Kyber was an intelligent leader. Considering how poor their reception on Earth had been, Farid was even more grateful he’d convinced Kyber to allow his small coterie of diplomats.
Somehow, his attempts to explain the concept of a One, a bond between two minds in perfect sync, had gone awry. Humans were unwilling to believe that they would have come so far to find the emperor’s One. It was only because he was the emperor that they were here. Not because the Kith wouldn’t travel across space to find their One, but because only the emperor was powerful enough to sense his One from so great a distance. Even Farid hadn’t managed to sense his until they’d arrived on the planet and he’d been face-to-face with her.
The Earthans’ stubborn irrationality knew no bounds, and a wave of rage went through Farid as he remembered how their hysteria had cost Sueni lives. Thousands and thousands of Sueni lives. General Arthur had gathered the motley armies of Earth together and they’d launched nuclear missiles at the Anshar, the smallest ship in the Sueni armada. They’d choosen the spacecraft least able to defend itself, and the result had been devastating. Everyone on board had died. The loss of lives had reverberated along his senses, ripping him from a deep sleep. Their panic and pain had flooded his mind in a great wave. He swallowed, closing his eyes. It was a mistake the Sueni would never make again, and their razer cannons vaporized the almost daily warheads that launched into the sky, but it didn’t bring back those who had died so needlessly.
Kyber had ordered his people not to fight back. He wanted his One and only his One. Once they found her, they would leave this rock hovering on the back end of space and never look back. Farid had been the one left to handle whatever fruitless negotiations were to be had with Earth. He knew he was merely dragging matters out until the emperor’s One was found, but it didn’t stop him from trying to do his job. If it rankled that Kyber had effectively tied his hands by allowing no retribution, he knew his frustration was nothing compared to those who had lost family and friends in the bombing.
Sighing, he shoved away the anger, the fatigue, and the relentless, completely unacceptable desire for Bren that nagged at him. He hurried his step to reach his office.
He had work to do.
Bren patted her hair to make sure it was in its usual tidy knot at the nape of her neck, resolutely pushing the erotic dream with Farid the night before from her mind. Again. There were some women who liked the titillation of sleeping with the enemy, but she didn’t think much of those women. It didn’t matter that the Kith could make a woman come with a mere glance, a simple thought.
Lord Farid was not welcome in her mind or in her dreams. He was a cold, heartless bastard. Condescending, smug, ruthless.
She clenched her jaw and shoved a loose bobby pin into place with more force than the action required. She winced when it scraped her scalp. Stomping on her wayward thoughts of the too attractive, too arrogant alien nobleman, she made her way through the security checkpoints in the Pentagon. The building was a far cry from the baking deserts and sweltering jungles she’d spent years in.
Dropping her purse on her desk, she glanced up to see Arthur motioning her into his office. He had a phone glued to his ear and a dozen stacks of paperwork on his desk. Dark circles made smudges under his eyes, and she doubted he’d been home the night before. She doubted his sleepless night had been as disturbing as hers.
She snapped to attention in front of his desk as he set the phone on its cradle. “Sir?”
“At ease, Sergeant Major.”
She relaxed, tucking her hands behind her back, feet shoulder width apart. “What can I do for you, sir?”
Sitting back in his chair, he picked up a paperweight and tossed it from one hand to the other. “A new country will be joining our coalition. It’s going to be a lot of work for you in the next few months. You know how difficult it can be to get a new member up to speed.”
“Yes, sir.” She’d been in the thick of it when they formed the worldwide coalition of militaries and had done more paperwork to make it all happen than she’d wanted to do in her entire life. She’d much rather be out in the field, but if this is how she could best serve her country, she’d do the best job that could be done. “Which country, sir?”
A triumphant, almost cruel expression crossed his face. “China.”
That was not an answer she wanted to hear. The bottom dropped out of her stomach.
Oh, shit.
2
Bren licked her lips and tried to keep her voice even. “I thought China didn’t want to join the coalition, sir.”
Arthur’s dark eyes cooled. “My efforts to convince them it’s the best thing for their citizens were successful.”
“Congratulations, sir.” Another wave of dread went through her, numbness following in its wake. She wasn’t sure what measures he’d taken to ensure their cooperation, but it would have to be extreme. China had made it very clear from the beginning they wanted to stand alone on this issue, that they wanted no part of an operation run solely at the discretion of the United States.
Who had Arthur threatened or killed to get what he wanted? She curled her fingers into tight fists, horrified she had to ask herself the question, and yet…not surprised by it at the same time. It wasn’t paranoia that had kept her up at night, and that lame excuse crumbled in the face of the unrelenting truth before her. He wasn’t the man she remembered, the man she’d respected, almost worshipped. Something had changed in the last few months. She wasn’t sure if she was just seeing it now, and it had always been there, or if it was a new development.
He still looked the part of the perfect officer and gentleman. Soldier. Hero. The kind of man who ended up with commemorative statues after he died in battle. She stifled a snort at that—as if any of them did this for the glory.
But something about that caught her, made her pause.
She focused on his face and realized that that was the difference. Since the Kith had come and Arthur had had the chance to band together the militaries of Earth to fight them, it had gone from saving the world to controlling the world. Perhaps it was the glory or just the power, but it really didn’t matter why, did it? Arthur, a man she would have sworn a year ago was a dedicated soldier to the core of his being, had lost whatever internal compass guided him. He’d crossed the line one too many times and never suffered any consequences for it. People were scared and they were desperate for the safety they had once known. The safety of ignorance.
All those people were willing to let Arthur do whatever he wanted in order to reclaim that security. They’d hand over their armies, their control, their independence, their money. Everything.
She could see in Arthur’s eyes how much he liked that. It wasn’t about safety for him anymore; it wasn’t about protection or what was good for humanity. It was about him now. His power, his control, his ability to convince people they would never be safe without him in charge.
A chill rippled down her spine, and she swallowed hard, forcing her expression to impassivity. “You have a meeting with the president at ten, sir.”
“Thank you, Preston.” Arthur continued to stare at her for a long moment, and Bren refused to give in to the urge to fidget. “Dismissed.”
She nodded and executed a quick about-face, marching out of his office and closing the door behind her. It wasn’t until there was a thick wooden barrier between him and her that she let out the breath she’d been holding.
Perching in her office chair, she logged in to her computer and just stared at the screen. Her thoughts ricocheted in her mind, unable to settle. She kept coming back to the same conclusion she had the night before. Regardless of the Sueni fleet being here or gone, this was going to be a no-win situation for Earth. Arthur, the savior of humanity, was going to make it a no-win situation. People had died, and more people were going to, if Arthur remained in command.
So what was she going to do about it?
Her hands folded tightly in her lap,
her nails digging into her skin. Whatever remained of her initial numbness evaporated. Panic and terror bolted through her, made her uniform dampen with sweat.
She could do nothing. It was in her best interest to keep following orders and just…living her life. Because the army was her life. This was who she was. It was all she’d ever wanted to be.
She’d run like hell from her foster family the day she’d graduated from high school, signed on with the army, and never looked back.
She’d been lucky and she knew it. Her foster father had satisfied himself with occasionally kicking the crap out of her and the other kids and neglecting them the rest of the time. And that had been one of the better homes she’d lived in after her parents died. She was just grateful to have never had to look herself in the mirror and see the empty, hollowed-out eyes of the walking ghosts some of those foster kids had become.
Bren had known then that she would do everything she could to make sure she was never anyone’s victim ever again. She’d learn how to fight back, she’d learn how to never be weak, she’d learn how to protect people who couldn’t protect themselves. And she had. The army had given her that. A sense of purpose, of duty, of belonging to something greater than herself.
But that was the problem, that was why she couldn’t blindly follow Arthur now, because the army had given her a purpose, had made her country and its citizens more important than anything else. More than personal gain or power or prestige. She couldn’t just stand back now and do nothing when the things she lived for were threatened.
She forced herself to cold, calm calculation. Now was not the time for panic. She had to do something. There was no question left in her mind about that. This was not optional. But what could she do? Who could she ask for help? Who could she trust? Conspiring against the most powerful man on the planet had gotten people far more influential than her killed. Who would be willing to step out of line to protect everyone from Arthur?
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