By the time he returned to their table, Raven had wrapped her sandwich up in the paper that lined the basket. She took the container from him, placed her sandwich inside, and grabbed her bag. They walked back to his truck.
He pulled up to the curb outside of the CRC. “Don’t work too hard, okay?”
Raven pointed to his leg. “You go home and put your feet up.”
“I will. Scout’s honor.”
She gave a quick nod and turned to open the truck door. Heath reached out and gently grasped her upper arm before she could leave. When she swiveled to look at him, her eyes full of questions, he swallowed hard.
“I never should’ve walked away, Raven. I’m sorry. And I’m sorry people hold it over your head. It isn’t right.”
Raven seemed surprised by his apology. She leaned away from him, reached for the door handle, and paused. “But you did leave, Heath. You made your decision and life went on.” After opening the door, she got out and turned. “It couldn’t have been just you, though. I obviously made it easy for you to walk away.”
With a frown on her face that nearly broke Heath’s heart, Raven raised a hand in a half-hearted wave and disappeared into the building.
He squeezed his forehead with one hand. The discomfort didn’t even come close to erasing that look on her face from his memory. It was one more image to add to his mental photo album that reminded him of the many times he’d disappointed her. If only she had a clue how difficult it’d been to leave her behind.
He didn’t feel like going back to his parents’ house yet. Instead, he pulled into a nearby lot, parked his vehicle, and dialed Benny’s number.
“Hey, Heath. What’s up, man?”
“Not much. Sorry I missed your call. What are you up to?”
There was a lot of noise in the background. “Crushing it at the gym. Hang on a sec.” More muffled sounds and then Benny’s voice again. “Guys, it’s Heath.”
A roar of voices rumbled through the line as everyone hollered greetings. It was impossible to tell what anyone was saying, but it still made Heath grin. He missed working out and playing with the guys.
Benny announced his return with a laugh. “You hear that?”
“I heard it. Tell the guys not to worry. I’ll be back to set the pace for y’all soon.”
That earned Heath a guffaw. “Right, man. You talk to Coach lately?”
“It’s been a week or two. I’m keeping him up to date on my progress.” Heath frowned. Knowing his teammates were continuing with their rigorous training only made him feel like he was falling behind. How hard would it be to jump back in once he returned?
“Good. Well, quit slacking and get back here, huh?” Someone spoke to Benny. “I’ve got to run. Talk to you later?”
“You bet.” The call ended, and Heath tossed his phone onto the passenger seat.
With a heavy sigh, he checked for traffic, and headed to his parents’ house. What he wouldn’t give to be going to his own home this afternoon. Maybe there he could forget his career was on the line and pretend to not think about Raven in peace.
Chapter Seven
Raven didn’t dare mention a word about inviting Heath to a home football game. After the end of their lunch yesterday, and the awkward therapy session today, she seriously doubted he’d make the effort. No, it was better that her family think she hadn’t bothered asking him and be disappointed than to face the inevitable unending questions when he didn’t appear.
She was so convinced Heath wouldn’t come near the field that it took a second and then a third look before she realized he was standing at the bottom of the bleachers. Her breath hitched as her heart pounded against her ribs. Great. These football games were hard enough with the memories from another life. She didn’t need the source of those memories to walk back onto the scene now.
It’s only for one game, Raven. Chin up. Pretend like nothing has changed.
A squeal behind her announced that Rosie had spotted Heath. Within moments, she was holding her very pregnant belly and side-stepping down the row of seats to the walkway. Raven bit back a moan as Rosie made her way to the field where she hooked arms with Carl as they greeted Heath.
A hand gently patted Raven’s shoulder, and she turned to see her dad standing behind her. “You came through. I’m proud of you.”
Proud of her for inviting Heath to the game to support the high school boys? She ought to be stunned that he said it at all. In fact, she should write this momentous occasion on her calendar to celebrate every year. Unfortunately, it didn’t mean that much when he hadn’t even said those words when she graduated high school or finished her degree to become a physical therapist assistant.
All Raven could do was stare numbly at the crowd growing around Heath. He shook hands and clapped shoulders with a wide smile on his face. Across the way, Heath’s father sat where he did every Friday, pride etched into his features.
It was as if they’d been transported to a time twelve years ago. Apparently, no one remembered or cared that Heath had disappeared without so much as an update or a single visit back home. How many months had Raven waited, hoping he’d come back again? The flood of emotions she’d felt back then began to pummel her heart yet again.
She still remembered every tiny thing about their last conversation.
It was semi-dark on the sidelines of the field long after the game had ended. Heath had put his hands on her shoulders, a mix of determination and sadness in his eyes.
“Raven, it’s not fair of me to take you away from Clearwater. From your family and friends. You’ll be miserable in Portland if you go with me. And I can’t stay here with you.” He’d run his hands from her shoulders to her wrists. “You deserve someone who can give you everything you’ve ever wanted. Who can love you more selflessly than I can.”
Tears had raced each other down Raven’s cheeks, though she’d hardly noticed them. “We can make this work, Heath. You said you wanted to get married. To raise a family together.” She’d swallowed hard, searching for the words that might convince him to change his mind. “I love you.”
“I love you, too. I probably always will. But this is the way it needs to be.” His brows drew together as he clasped her hands in his. “I’m sorry.”
Raven had pulled her hands away, slipped the engagement ring from her finger, and slammed it into his palm. “Yeah. Me, too.” Her eyes flashed as she wrapped her arms around herself and took a step back.
He’d stared at the ring for several moments before putting it in his pocket, turning, and walking away from her. From them.
Raven shook herself to try and dislodge the memory from her mind. For months, she suffered from the daily heartache of hoping she’d walk around the corner to find Heath standing there, waiting for her. Until she finally wised up and realized she might never see him again unless it was on television.
Raven forgot she was staring at Heath and the crowd of fans until his gaze shifted and locked with hers. His smile slipped long enough for her to notice before he had it back into place.
Ugh! Even after being mad at him all these years, that smile still made her heart stutter. How fair was that?
Her parents were talking in the row behind her and focused in on what they were saying.
“This is a good thing, right?” There was no missing Mom’s voice. “Maybe she’ll come to her senses and beg him to stay this time.”
“Now, Linda. You know that boy’s going back to Cleveland. Maybe she’ll follow him there.”
Tears pricked the back of Raven’s eyelids, and she blinked them away. She couldn’t do this. The field held too many memories she was trying to keep at bay as it was without her parents bringing up the past and trying to “fix” her future.
She jumped to her feet and half turned toward them. “You know, I’m not feeling well this evening. It’s probably allergies, but we’ve had a couple people at the CRC come down with something. I think I’ll go home and get some rest. I wouldn’t want to be too sic
k to help Rosie out with the homecoming committee.”
Her parents looked like they might object until she threw in the homecoming committee. There was no messing with that. Mom finally nodded, stood, and placed a kiss to her forehead.
“No fever, thank goodness. Get some sleep, honey. We’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
“Okay. Love you guys.”
Dad patted her on the back as she walked past them and out of the stifling row of seats. She kept her eyes on her feet as she traversed the stairs to the cement below. Even the thought of a hot dog made her stomach roll. Cereal for dinner sounded just fine tonight, if she bothered to eat anything at all. Going to bed early sounded even better.
She’d nearly made it to the parking lot when someone gently grasped her hand and stopped her escape. She turned to find Heath standing there, concern in his eyes.
“Hey, where are you going in such a hurry?”
“I’m not in a hurry.”
He chuckled. “I practically had to run to catch up to you. Not as easy these days as it used to be.” He held his left foot up.
For a moment, Raven felt bad. But he didn’t have to run. He didn’t have to come out here at all. The flash of guilt dissipated. “If your foot’s bothering you, maybe you’re the one who should go home again.” Even as the words left her lips, Raven knew they sounded much harsher than they should have. After all, she was the one who’d extended the invitation to come in the first place.
The frown on his face combined with the flash of confusion in his eyes. “Say the word, Raven, and I’ll leave.”
She glanced around and found they were somehow miraculously alone. “Look, I’m not feeling great and decided to head home and start my weekend early. You should go back. I know the boys are thrilled to have you here.” She forced a small smile. “Your fans are waiting.”
Instead of turning to leave, he kept studying her face. She didn’t know how much longer she could maintain this attempt at civility. Not when she realized they were standing under the tree where he’d kissed her silly after his first win on the team. Suddenly all the kisses they’d shared while sitting on the bleachers or waiting on the sidelines flooded her memory. Or the time they’d lain on the grass after the game, staring up at the stars, as they talked about their future. A future together.
What a joke.
~*~
The moment Heath saw Raven leaving the field, he could tell something was wrong. Her shoulders were stiff, her back straight, and her chin down. Raven rarely exuded anything but confidence. His brain warned him to let her go, but his heart clenched and convinced him to go after her.
He excused himself for a moment and caught up, his foot protesting even with the use of his crutches. When she turned to face him, it was clear she was upset. There was an underlying edge when she said his fans were waiting for him.
It’d surprised him that so many people had rushed to greet him when he arrived. Sure, he played football for the NFL, but he hadn’t been back to Clearwater in so long, he’d half expected no one to recognize him or care he’d returned. But fans? He wasn’t sure he’d go that far.
“I don’t think it’s like that. Half the people I’m talking to are people I knew back in high school. Or their parents. You’re reading way too much into this.”
Yeah, that was the wrong thing to say.
Raven’s eyes widened. “You’re kidding me, right?” She motioned toward the bleachers filled with eager high school football fans. “You’re like the prodigal hometown hero who has finally returned. My parents are talking about ways to make me come to my senses and take you back. Then you come here and everyone’s welcoming you with open arms. It’s like you’d left for college last week or something.” Pink tinged her cheeks as she spoke.
Heath couldn’t tell if she was embarrassed or angry or both. “Maybe you should be upset with your parents. I’ve never known you to carry a grudge like this.” His voice sounded as incredulous as he felt.
She held both hands out to her sides. “I’m amazed that you can come back, and it’s as if you’d never left. As if you’d never forgotten about them in the first place.”
Heath’s back stiffened. He glanced back at the field, relieved no one was close enough to hear their conversation. “I left for college, Raven. It’s what most of us kids did back then.”
“No.” She put her hands on her hips, the anger on her face morphing into sadness. “You walked away from your town, your family.” She swallowed hard. “You walked away from me. And instead of visiting like every other college kid does, you disappeared, leaving me to deal with the fallout.”
He’d seen no alternative back then. The thought of coming back to Clearwater and seeing Raven with another man had plagued him for years. The longer he was away, the easier things were. Why couldn’t she understand that?
Raven motioned toward the bleachers. “Your fans may welcome you with open arms and are happy to forget the past, but it’s not that easy for me.”
Heath placed a hand on each of her shoulders and waited until she lifted her eyes to meet his. The mix of emotions there left him guessing at which one was closest to the surface. “I’m sorry if my coming back to Clearwater has made it harder on you. If it’s any consolation, it hasn’t been a cake walk for me, either.” He paused, searching for the right words. “Leaving this place—leaving you—was the hardest thing I’d ever done. I couldn’t come back. And every year that passed made it that much harder.”
Raven searched his face a moment before finally shaking her head and stepping away from him. “You could’ve come home any time, Heath. You chose not to.” Her anger melted away, leaving only a look of disappointment in its wake.
“That’s where you’re wrong.” He folded his arms in front of him. “I might have returned to Clearwater, but I could never come home again. The moment I left, I no longer had one here.”
“Whose fault was that?” She pierced him with a glare before turning and walking toward the parking lot.
The disappointment on her face was like a knife slicing into Heath’s heart. He could handle almost anything she dished out to him. But he’d been fighting to keep from disappointing people all his life. It’s why he’d first tried out for the football team: To make his father happy. He hadn’t expected to love the game himself.
If that’s how she felt, then there wasn’t a thing he could do to change her mind. In fact, this made his life easier. She’d written him off. There was no need for him to try and mend any part of the friendship they once had. That ought to make him feel better, but it didn’t.
Raven was wrong about one thing. He couldn’t have come home before now. Her response tonight only proved that fact.
He watched her for a moment longer before rotating toward the field and walking back. There wasn’t a thing he could do to fix what Raven thought of him. But at least he could make sure he didn’t disappoint the boys on the football team. Encouraging them was something he could do right now.
The boys on the team sat riveted to his every word as he told them about life in Cleveland and shared the pearls of wisdom he’d learned from playing high school football himself. Raven’s brother-in-law, Carl Law, seemed like a great guy that the boys respected. They were lucky to have him for a coach.
When Carl invited Heath to join them on the sidelines, the boys on the team cheered so loudly, Heath couldn’t say no. By the time the game was over, he’d said hello to more people than he could count, signed autographs, and somehow got wrangled into helping with homecoming. Rosie promised to call or text him with the details in the next couple of days.
Late that night, he collapsed on the futon in his new house and stared at the ceiling. His entire left leg ached from the thigh down to his toes. It was a good thing he had two days off before going back to therapy on Monday.
Raven.
It was nearly midnight. Was she at home sleeping peacefully? Or awake battling the slew of conflicting emotions like he was? For the first time in y
ears, he wished they had the kind of relationship where he felt free to call her. He even wished he had a friend he could talk to about all of this. But truthfully, even though he considered some of his teammates to be friends, he’d never been as close to anyone as he’d been to Raven.
Chapter Eight
This past week had been ridiculous, awkward, and long. After their heated conversation last Friday, Raven expected their therapy sessions to be weird. It was as if both she and Heath were on autopilot and only spoke when necessary. The ease with which they had worked together in previous weeks was gone. Even when it felt strained before, at least they could laugh or visit about their week.
This… This was miserable.
Thankfully, Raven finally made it to the weekend. She dreaded going to the away game tonight. Normally, she’d much rather stay at home and watch a movie than make the thirty-minute drive. But this was all part of Raven’s master plan.
Once Rosie had the baby, Raven would suggest a family dinner once a week and then bow out of going to football games. With that in mind, she could handle a few more torturous games if it meant an end was finally in sight.
She had no intention of riding over with her parents, though. Taking her own car and reserving the right to go home early was a much better idea.
Later that evening, she settled into a seat next to her mom with a hot dog in one hand and a soft pretzel in the other.
Mom looked at the food with disapproval. “Really, Raven? How are you going to keep your figure when you keep eating like that every Friday? Please tell me you live on salads the rest of the week.”
Fridays were Raven’s junk food days, but Mom didn’t need to know that. She shrugged, held up the pretzel, and grinned. “We seriously need to carry these at our concession stand back home.” Then she took an exaggerated bite. Yep, she’d remember to suggest it next week. The Clearwater High School had been offering only nachos, hot dogs, and sodas for years now. It was time they expanded a little.
Marrying Raven (Brides of Clearwater Book 2) Page 6