by Julie Eads
Carefully I explained, “I am relieving Knoll of his duties. In a short time he is going to promise himself to Maggie and she deserves his full attention. She has always been so selfless when it comes to me, so I want to return the favor.”
“I would love to be your guardian princess but, Thora has already been so gracious as to allow me to be Taya’s guardian. I know it seems kind of fast,” he went on to say, “But I all can say is that I love her.”
I almost choked. It was such a sweet gesture and now I knew why Taya had been avoiding me; she had probably felt bad because she knew what Thora had done and that she had only done it to spite me! I couldn’t believe that bitch! Oh, I was happy for Eirnan and Taya but Thora didn’t care about their happiness. She had done this to me for one reason only and that was to be the vindictive bitch I knew she was. Sitting there full of anger I now questioned myself as to who would now be my guardian?
Taking it that I was angry with him Eirnan began to apologize. “I am so sorry Princess. I didn’t mean to upset you, it’s just Thora told me that if I told you before Maggie’s party then she wouldn’t sign the release papers and I wouldn’t be free of her. She is such a mean women I couldn’t stand another minute of her yelling and hitting me.” The poor man sounded so defeated.
Sighing I replied, “It’s ok Eirnan. Let’s pretend that you haven’t told me. If it takes me being humiliated in front of everyone for you to be free, I will gladly do it. Thora just wants a show, so that is exactly what she’ll get.”
“I can’t believe you would do that for me.” I was surprised to hear Taya’s voice this time from behind me. I had no idea how long she had been standing there or how much she had heard but I was thankful I didn’t have to repeat myself again.
“No one hears about this!” I ordered them. “This will only work if Thora is convinced that she has got the upper hand on me.
“I don’t know what to say,” Eirnan said, “besides how truly sorry we are that she has played you like this. Or that we weren’t supposed tell you.”
Funnily enough I understood their reaction for I too would have kept the secret for Declan and me, if necessary. Moving to ease my cramped legs I tried to pretend that I wasn’t hurt but it wasn’t easy. Pulling my legs up to my chest I tried to tune the world out. I been lied to by my best friends and, even though I understood why, it didn’t make the sting hurt any the less. All of a sudden I wanted nothing more than to be by myself but knew that just wasn’t possible at this moment in time. Hearing two people talking as they walked up the path I realized I was getting better at recognizing people by their voices alone. It was Knoll and Willow.
“Hey,” they both called out, making me feel thankful to them for breaking the awkward silence that existed between us three. Their arrival also gave Eirnan and Taya the perfect chance to excuse themselves and leave.
“You look like you are having a bad night,” stated Knoll as he placed his hand on my knee before sitting down with a thud next to me.
‘You have no idea,’ I wanted to tell him but I knew that once I did he would know there was a reason why I was trying to recruit a new guardian. It seemed that not only was I to be humiliated tomorrow but I also had to hurt someone I cared deeply for, just so they could all be happy. It felt as if I just kept giving and giving but the universe just kept taking and taking more from me.
Willow sat down on the other side of me, only making her presence known by letting out a small cough. Wanting so much to confide in her I knew I couldn’t as Willow was the type to interfere, and if she did that then Thora would know that Eirnan and Taya had told me what they shouldn’t. It was hopeless as I couldn’t confide in anyone. The thought left me feeling so alone at that moment. Suddenly I wished I was like Declan and could just spread my wings and fly away from all my problems; at least just for a little while.
“Looks like you’re not going to tell me what is going on,” said Knoll, “So I will tell you the good news.” He sounded nervous which was unusual for him. Continuing he said, “I am going to propose to Maggie tomorrow. I am not sure now what this life is going to bring us so I want to give her everything she wants, just in case something ever happens to me.”
Willow suddenly giggled, saying, “It’s about time, and such a perfect day to do it, at her party tomorrow night.” I laughed along with her because it was perfect timing. Tomorrow he would ask my sister to be his forever and they would truly belong to each other, because he would also become her guardian as well.
Laying down I let the dew from the cool grass seep into my shirt. I didn’t mind as it was actually kind of comforting. Then Knoll spoke again, “I wanted you to be the first person to know. I am now going to ask your father for his permission.” I smiled and nodded telling him that he was already family to me. And so a few moments later I could no longer hear his shoes crunching along the ground, knowing he was probably halfway to the castle by now.
Which left me alone with Willow; it was hard not to confide in her. She was like a grandmother to me. Someone who always understood, but it was just too risky so I tried to change the subject from me to her, hoping she wouldn’t sense that I was avoiding whatever was bothering me. “So have you come up with anything for Sal?” I asked, really hoping he would find someone.
When she replied Willow’s voice held a strange undertone that I hadn’t heard from her before, “Actually I have.”
“Well,” I asked, once I decided she wasn’t going to answer me.
“He’s actually been dating Declan’s mother. It seems they are a pretty good match,” she responded.
Yet again I was surprised by all the information that was being kept from me so I asked, “Does Declan know?”
“Yes,” stated Willow simply, “He isn’t exactly fond of the idea. But that’s because no-one can, or ever will replace his father, but he knows she deserves happiness.”
As I sat there absorbing the information I had a strange feeling, recalling when I had first experienced that strange pull towards Declan. Everyone had told me that the Pacu only have one mate for life and if one of them dies then the other will spend their days alone. ‘Maybe it was just true for some people,’ I thought, trying to reassure myself that what Declan and I felt for each other was real and not some match-making ruse. Finally I asked, “How can she love again if her soul mate is dead?” Perhaps I stated the question more bluntly than I had intended to.
“Declan’s father was her soul mate Mina. It’s just that sometimes the loneliness leaves such a burden on our lives that we accept any kind of love or happiness that life offers us. Sometimes the spirits bring together two lost and hurting souls so they don’t have to suffer anymore,” declared Willow, “It doesn’t mean that you and Declan aren’t soul mates; it simply means that if one of you should pass away before the other then the universe may bring someone else to either of you to help soothe the pain.”
Strangely I understood what she was saying, but it still made Declan’s and my love seem less epic. I must confess I felt relief when I heard the sound of wings, like a thousand heart beats above me. As one landed directly on me I winced from the pain of its sharp claws digging into my arm but quickly settled as I reached over and stroked its soft feathers. There were many birds that could have landed on me, but I knew this one was my bird. Then he jumped from my arm and seconds later, having heard bones shifting, I sensed Declan standing in front of me.
“Hello, beautiful,” he said in a sultry voice leaning over and kissing me, making any recent doubts I had been having disappear completely.
I thought Willow had left to make her way to her cottage when she suddenly called out several steps from where she was standing, “If you can’t confide in me or Knoll, then let someone else help you Mina.”
About to deny what she said, Declan placed his arm caringly on my arm and asked, “What is wrong?”
Desperately needing to skip the whole ‘pity’ party raging inside of me by asking him what they had found on search of the
country I knew that whilst I could lie to everyone else I just couldn’t to him. Finally I blurted out, “Thora is using Eirnan and Taya against me. She gave him permission to be Taya’s guardian and if I don’t let her humiliate me at Maggie’s party tomorrow then Eirnan is stuck with her forever.” I hesitated before continuing, “I can’t believe I was so stupid as to think that she would just let him go free so easily. I should have known that she would have something up her sleeve.”
“Why don’t you just have the party for Maggie without giving her Knoll?” asked Declan.
“I can’t do that because he is going to propose to her tomorrow. I can’t be the one thing that keeps them from truly belonging together,” I stated flatly.
“Then why can’t I be your guardian,” he asked shyly, as he gently pulled me towards him before wrapping me in his strong, safe arms.
Kissing him on the chin I rested my head on his chest and hesitantly replied, “I would love nothing more than that but you’re not a guardian yet.” I knew the words had stung but he hadn’t had his guardian equivalent of training as he had only just turned 18 years old. Having turned into his animal, the beautiful white owl, for the first time this evening we both knew he still had five years to go until he was capable of being a full guardian. He had to learn to wield his animal as a weapon so, until then, he was just a guardian in training; still deadly he could protect people but only fully-fledged guardians could protect and take the oath for a Royal.
“I know; there are such stupid rules here,” Declan sounded defeated, “Still, if anyone should protect you and be close to you every day then it should be me.”
Shaking my head I softly kissed him, replying with, “I know, and someday you will be the one who is my guardian, but for now I’m stuck.”
“Yeah, I will,” he stated, a bit more possessively than I liked, hugging me much too tightly.
Leaving the clearing we walked hand in hand to the castle door. As we arrived he pulled me towards him for a long goodnight kiss. I let myself fall into his kiss, only pulling away when the door swung open and Eleanor cleared her voice. “You too should come in,” she said in a motherly tone; one I hadn’t heard her use very often.
By now I was getting to know the layout of the house quite well so felt I had accomplished something that I didn’t need to hold on to anything or anyone as we made our way into the kitchen. Once there I sat on one of the tall bar stools that were normally tucked underneath the breakfast bar. Eleanor and Declan slowly followed me, pulling their stools out with a loud scraping noise against the floor. Once settled Eleanor poured us all a cup of her famous lavender and honey tea. As I drank it I let the warm liquid fill my stomach. It was a very soothing drink; something I would always associate with home as Eleanor and I shared a cup together every night before we went to bed. I suppose you could say it was our mother/daughter bonding moment, something I really enjoyed. But it was also nice to share such a precious moment with Declan as well.
Eleanor took a breath and began speaking. “I wanted to talk about Maggie’s party tomorrow. I have given it a lot of thought and, since Knoll is going to propose to her, your father and I think it’s time they have a place of their own. Therefore, we have bought them a home; three houses down from the castle.”
Smiling I remembered the medium sized, mixed matched cobble stone house down the road. It was the perfect house for Maggie who had said she had always wanted to live in it. I couldn’t help but feel real joy for my sister, tomorrow she truly would get everything she wanted, and all in one day. I wasn’t going to allow myself to be jealous of her for she had given up so much for me and everyone else around her, so she deserved every moment of pleasure. Smiling I said to my mother, “That is a great idea.” Eleanor squeezed my arm and I could picture her smiling widely at me.
“There is something else,” she said, “We will have to have Eirnan move into Maggie’s old room. Without Knoll here you will be unprotected and, given the recent events, I can’t allow that!” I could feel Declan tense next me and hoped I didn’t have to tell him not to say anything that would mess up Thora’s public humiliation. “Don’t worry though,” Eleanor reassured us, “Taya can come and visit him whenever she wants! They are growing into such a wonderful couple. It makes me so delighted to see you all so happy.”
Suddenly I felt Declan take hold of my hand under the counter and lightly squeeze it; reassuring me that all was ok. Trying very hard I put on my best fake smile to reassure my caring and oblivious mother that everything would go smoothly for Maggie the next day. ‘No matter what tomorrow brought it was to be Maggie’s day,’ I reminded myself and nothing was going to screw that up.
Finally Eleanor, practically having pushed Declan out of the door, watched me as I made my way up to my room and the door shut behind me. Throwing my clothes off, I headed for the shower. Once again I found peace and comfort from another one of the elements the earth offered. Wallowing beneath the flow of water I stood enjoying the peaceful silence around me. Tomorrow would change everything. Some people would be hurt, but some happier than ever before. Sadly, I was going to be among those who were hurt; all for the people I love.
Chapter 18
The following morning I woke to the loud screeching of the alarm in my ears. Today was to be Maggie’s Party; the day that I gave Knoll to her and allowed Thora to humiliate me. I lay with my eyes closed, this time welcoming the darkness. I lay imagining that once I opened my eyes I would be able to see the bright stained-glass ceiling allowing the warm sun to shine down on me. Maybe it was my choice not to see when all I had to do was open my eyes and allow the world to open up around me once again. But, as I finally opened them filled with hope, there was only the same blackness I was growing accustomed too.
Slowly I crawled out of bed and headed for the closet, thankful that I was capable of selecting my own clothes now. That was all thanks to Maggie who had spent endless afternoons, teaching me the new system she had come up with on a whim. In order for me to tell which clothes were which, she had carved letters and shapes into the hangers. That way I could tell what item was hung up and what color it was. She had even put a minus or plus sign which would let me know which hue of color the article was. Running my hand along the hangers I stopped when I felt a triangle carved into one of them along with the number 4 and three minus signs alongside. That told me that I had chosen a green dress that was three shades lighter than a dark green color. It sounded a lot more complex than it really was, but I had soon got the hang of it. I loved having the independence by not having to ask my mom or sister to select my clothes for me every day, which made me feel like a helpless child, pulling the dress over my head. I slipped on a pair of sandals and slowly made by way downstairs.
Entering the kitchen I went to pour myself a glass of orange juice, happy to hear my mother moving around the kitchen. “Good morning Mina. I’ve made pancakes, if you would like some,” she announced. I wasn’t used to Eleanor making breakfast as she was usually away doing whatever it was Queens did. It was nice of her to offer me breakfast but sadly I had to decline as my stomach felt uneasy, and eating pancakes wasn’t going to help it any. Sitting on the same stool I had the previous night I thought I would at least keep her company while she cooked.
"I see that you’re having a bad hair day," Eleanor stated.
I nodded. Ever since I had lost my sight my hair had been roaming free, bushy curls and all.
Eleanor said, “I can cut it for you if you like.” I was surprised by the offer. Running my hands over my long thick hair I thought maybe it’s time for a change so I agreed to let her cut it. Fetching the scissors I sat still whilst she chopped the inches away. After she had finished I timidly touched it, finding how strange it felt. But somehow it was as if some of the stress I had lying on my shoulders today was now thrown away on the white marble floor, along with the inches of hair that had been cut. Running my hands through my hair I thought how nice it felt to have such an easy style to take care of. I d
id wonder if I looked worse than I had before it was cut. For as long as I could remember I had always been partial to long hair and the thought of having the dead ends chopped off would often send me over the edge. Strangely it felt freeing. Thanking Eleanor I stood up ready to go and check on the progress of Maggie’s party decorations when Eleanor caught me by my arm. “You do look beautiful,” she simply said. “It makes your eyes stand out. They remind me so much of your father’s eyes but they are so unique, just like you.” I could hear the smile and love in her voice. She was a good mother, and I was sad that I hadn’t been able to grow up with her instead of the monsters that had raised me.
With care I made my way to the ballroom where the party was being held, thankful that I had planned most of it before losing my eye sight. I had selected a beautiful golden horse fountain and golden, shimmering table clothes complete with white roses that sat in crystal clear vases for the center of each table. Fortunately I had also selected Maggie’s gift early as well. Having come across a local artist in town I had asked him to paint a photo that I knew she would love. It was of a beautiful white horse with a chocolate brown star on its forehead. I had never seen Maggie transform but Eleanor said I had done a wonderful job in capturing her animal. The artist had painted a large meadow full of lavender and wild flowers around the horse and lying right next to her was a graceful lion, his mane thick and golden. It was a gift I hoped expressed to her that she could be free with Knoll and never have to feel as if he was putting someone else above her again.
Thinking about the preparations I was glad that Knoll and my father had agreed to keep Maggie occupied in town; having taken her out for lunch. Suddenly my phone vibrated in my pocket and running my hand across the screen I searched for the sticker Maggie had placed over the talk button so I would know where it was. “Hello,” I answered.