by Nicole Thorn
We sat on my bed and I had my head on his shoulder. Our hands were laced together.
“Can I go back to bringing you to school and home again?” he asked me.
I smiled. “Yes. If you want to.”
“I do.”
“Good,” I laughed. “Then it’s settled.”
“It is.”
I let a few minutes pass by before I took a risk. “Will you stay with me tonight?”
“Rory…”
“Just to sleep,” I told him. “I just don’t want you to go home yet. I want to wake up with you next to me.” I missed it.
He took a deep breath. “If you promise to not take advantage of me in the night, then I suppose I could stay.”
“Take advantage? Like I can’t have you if I wanted to,” I said confidently.
He let go of my hand and crossed his arms. “No. I have an iron will.”
I rolled my eyes. “Yeah right.”
“It’s true.”
I decided to prove him wrong. I pushed him onto his back and straddled him. I already saw a losing fight in his eyes, but I wasn’t done. I slowly undid his zipper and I watched his face as he fought internally about what he was going to about it.
I leaned over and opened my nightstand. Hadley wasn’t lying. I shook my head and sighed when I saw the three boxes of condoms she threw in there. I pulled a single one out and put the corner in between my teeth and prepared to open it.
Hale held my hands steady. “No. Please, Godno. Not the teeth. Anything but with your teeth.” I wasn’t sure if that was bad or not, but It didn’t take long. I was in the perfect position to figure out the answer to if it was bad or good. I managed to control my smile.
“S’OKAY, AURORA!” Hadley screamed from the living room. “YOU’LL GET THE HANG OF IT AFTER A FEW TIMES!”
I froze. No. No way. She couldn’t possibly thing I was— “Oh god…she thinks—” She does…she really does.
“IT’S A LOT EASIER ON GIRLS. IT’S PART OF WHY I SWITCHED BACK.”
I blinked and fell beside Hale on the bed. I dropped the condom and stared at the ceiling. “I’m done playing now. I think the only option left is suicide.”
“How the Hell did she even hear me?” Hale threw the condom back in the drawer and zipped up his pants. He looked back at me. “Maybe I’d have some sympathy for you if you’d helped me more with her earlier. You wanted to laugh. I could just see it on your face.”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “Can we just go to bed now? I don’t want to be conscious anymore.”
“Fine with me. But you’ll need to put on a pair shorts or something on.”
“Why?”
“Best not give me access to you. I might lose my mind and do something stupid like…I don’t know…”
“I think you do.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Liar.”
I got up and picked out my jammies. Shorts and a button up. I changed in the bathroom and went back to bed, turning the light out before I did.
Hale snuggled up behind me under the covers. It was so much warmer with him next to me. I could get used to it. But I knew I wouldn’t get the chance. Not with his new issues with it.
“Goodnight, Lamb,” he kissed me under my earlobe and his lips lingered. For someone who didn’t want this, he sure wasn’t good at trying to live it.
“Goodnight.”
I laid there and thought about way back when he first told me his intentions with me. When he told me he wanted me to love him. And when he said it again and again. I was sure I never would. How wrong I turned out to be.
I wonder what he would think if he knew he got his wish. I wondered if he’d ever know.
Chapter Twenty: Deconstructions
“Well, Well, Well,” Hadley said, breaking through my sleep. I opened my eyes to see her standing over my bed wearing a cocky smile and her jammies. She had a mug of something hot in her hand. “Had a little sleepover, did you?”
Hale moved behind me and I was sure he was still sleeping. I wiggled out from under his arm and sat up. “Go away, Hadley,” I whispered to her. “Nothing happened. I just didn’t want him to leave.” Not after what he told me the night before.
“Nothing happened. Yeah right. I’ve used that one a billion times.”
“But I mean it. Please, let him wake up without an audience.”
She gave me a sympathetic look and handed me the mug. “I made this for you.” She walked out and quietly closed the door.
I set the mug on my nightstand and turned to face Hale. I laid down on my side and said his name.
His eyes opened slowly and a sleepy smile spread across his face. “Hello, Lamb. Pleasant night?”
“Yeah. You?”
“I enjoyed it. I quite like waking up with you. It’s oddly soothing.”
I knew it probably wasn’t happening again. Not with his new reservations. And my old ones. We just weren’t meant to be. As much as it hurt, I needed to accept it.
“We’re gonna be late for school,” I sighed and sat up. Then remembered that I didn’t have any clean clothes. “I might be late either way.”
“Me too,” he moved out of the bed. Then he shrugged. “Never mind. I’ll just wear this again.”
My eyebrow went up. “But you wore it already. People will think you got lucky last night and didn’t get a chance to change.”
“Didn’t I get lucky?” he smiled in a way that made my heart want to explode.
“No you didn’t. I seem to recall you throwing in the towel on that subject.”
“As if you hadn’t already.”
“Yeah…” I stood up and opened my door. Hadley was just outside, listening.
She held out a pile of clothes and had a look that reminded me of a kid with her hand in a cookie jar. “Need these?”
I took them and closed the door. She’d given me denim shorts and a tank top. Yay. Not too slutty… I changed in my bathroom and came out to put my sneakers on. I caught Hale staring at me. “Can I help you?”
He blinked a couple times and came back into the room. “No. But I find it cruel that you choose to wear clothes like that knowing I can’t take full advantage.”
I laughed. “I always knew you were kinda chicken.”
He stopped dead. “Excuse me?”
“You heard me, Wyatt.” I stood up and stared him down. “You’re a total chicken. You won’t go for it cuz you’re scared.” No way in Hell was this gonna work. Right?
“I’m not chicken. I’m holding back for a reason.”
“A dumb one.”
“As opposed to your reason?”
“Mine is in no way dumb.” Having a mortal boyfriend and mortal kids wasn’t an option for me.
“It’s no better than mine, I’m sure.”
“So you’re saying yours is dumb?”
“No. Yours is.”
We’d inched closer to each other in the middle of our fight and we were within a tense distance.
“I don’t want to sleep with you. Not even a little,” I said firmly.
“And I don’t want to sleep with you.”
“Good.”
“I’m glad we’re agreed.”
“Me too.”
I shoved him down onto the bed and planted my knees on the bed on either side of him. I was under the impression that I was taking the lead on this experiment but I was proven wrong when he pulled me down and forcefully crushed his lips to mine.
As his hands moved up my shirt he said, “I still don’t want to sleep with you.”
“And I still don’t want to sleep with you.”
He flipped me over and pulled my legs around him. “You’re lying.”
“I’m not.”
“Prove it. Stop.”
I laughed. “Yeah right. I’m not letting you win this one. If you don’t want to sleep with me,” I unbuttoned his pants, “then you can be the one to stop this.”
“You’re willing to ris
k having sex with me to prove a point?”
“Absolutely. Because I know I’m right. I’m gonna prove that you want it.”
“By doing it?” he looked at me like I was crazy.
“Yup.”
“Two can play that game, Rory,” he smiled and moved down to kiss me again. I was fully aware of how ridiculous this was but that didn’t make me want to stop it any less.
He shifted around so he could get my shorts off of me. He tossed them on the floor and I knew that this was actually happening. I just hoped that his resolve was stronger than mine. I wasn’t sure how far this game would go but I was determined to win it.
I pulled his sweater and undershirt over his head and he didn’t fight me. I guess he trusted me enough not to hide himself anymore. I even got his pants off without incident. My hands moved down his back and I felt even more scars. They followed the pattern of the rest, all scattered around his body.
Hale rocked his hips against me and made that low, hungry sound that he made before. His hands gripped the fabric of my top and he started pulling it up.
I instantly sat up and moved back. “Stop.”
His hands left me and he tried catching his breath. “What’s wrong? What did I do?”
I felt like a hypocrite for it, but I knew if the top came off then he’d see where my wings were hidden. I wasn’t even sure why I was so worried about it with him. I didn’t know it if was because of another lie I’d have to tell, or because I didn’t want to risk him seeing me and recoiling.
“You didn’t do anything wrong,” I held a pillow in front of me. “It just…I…”
He nodded like he knew. And he did. “You don’t want me seeing what Kenna was talking about. I understand but,” he looked down at his bare chest, “I’m not one to be so shallow.”
Maybe I shouldn’t be so scared anymore. I trusted him. It wasn’t fair that he opened up to me but I was holding back with him.
“Okay. But I think our little game of chicken is over,” I decided. “Get dressed and then I’ll…show you.”
I stood up and found my shorts. I got them on and sat on the corner of my bed. When he was finished getting dressed, he sat next to me.
Slowly, I pulled my top over my head and moved my hair over my shoulder. I felt his hands move over the ridges on my back and he didn’t seem freaked out at all.
I felt something strange. I wasn’t supposed to feel the wings when they were put away, but when he was touching the ridges… I think they were fluttering, somehow. Whatever it was, they were moving for him.
“This is nothing,” he said quietly. “It’s not what Kenna tried making you feel like it was. I hope you didn’t believe her.”
“I didn’t. I know what they are. But it doesn’t make me feel any better having her know I have them. Especially when she’s trying to share the information with the whole school.”
I put my top back on and he said, “So you know why you have them? You weren’t just born with them?”
I shook my head.
“Then what are they?”
I stood up. “Hale, everything I tell you is the truth. But that doesn’t mean I can tell you everything. And that’s something else I can’t tell you.”
Won’t. I heard the voice in my head as my father. He thought I should tell Hale everything. He said he’d eventually resent me for the lie. All I could do was hope it wasn’t true.
“What could they possibly be that you couldn’t tell me? I understand the potential for your mother and sister and you not telling me how that works, but this—”
“Is part of the whole thing,” I told him. “It’s all connected. I’m sorry, but I can’t tell you how it’s connected.”
He stood from my bed and walked to me. He set his hands on my hips and said, “You’ll tell me. I know that you will. Until then, I’ll be patient.”
I smiled. “Always so sure of yourself, huh?”
“I used to be. Since meeting you I’m not quite sure I know anything about the world, let alone myself. You confuse me greatly.”
I rolled my eyes. “You got yourself into this mess. I tried getting rid of you.”
“And I tried getting rid of you. Neither attempts worked. What does that tell you?”
I laughed. “That we’re really fucked up, self destructive people.”
“I can see that.”
When we finally got to school, we’d missed two classes. I didn’t care much; my grades were good enough to not be damaged by a few missed lectures.
Hale and I met up again at lunch and Dottie was nice enough to invite herself to our table. I guess I was just in for a few months of uncomfortable lunches.
Damn Hale and his attractive face. That boy had a habit of reeling in strays. I should know. At least Dottie mostly kept quiet today. She was half talking and half writing the first draft of her English essay.
When Art came, it was a painting day. We were supposed to use cool colors to make something look warm. God knows why. I went for making a blue and green fire.
I felt something brush my leg and it felt wet. I looked down to see a glob of purple paint slowly running down my leg. Instantly I looked up at Hale. He was staring at his painting a little too hard for me to believe he was actually thinking about it.
“Why would you do that?” I asked, wiping the paint from my leg to my hand.
He didn’t look at me. “I have no clue what you’re talking about. I’m trying to work, Rory.”
Oh really?
I dipped my brush in green and dabbed his cheek with it. He froze and slowly turned his head to me. His eyes were playful, so I knew I wasn’t in trouble.
“Oh, Lamb. You haven’t a clue what you’ve just started.”
“Bring it, Redcoat.”
His eyebrows went up and before I knew it, my face was covered in blue paint. “Wow. That color is lovely on you.”
I took my brush in my hand and flicked the bristles out, showering him in green.
Then the war broke out.
The rest of the students in class caught on and the paints went flying. I, personally, blame Hale for the whole thing.
Hale and I focused on each other while the rest of the class descended into madness. He took a handful of grey paint and pressed it to my chest. I really hoped Hadley didn’t care too much about this outfit.
“Jesus, Hale,” I said, looking at myself. “I’m gonna have to soak in a tub for an hour to get this out of my hair.”
“I’m sorry,” he put his paint covered hand on his chest while the teacher screamed. “Would you like company?”
I shoved him lightly and the bell rang. I’d lost track of time during the fight.
Every person in the class was covered in a dozen different colors. They all seemed pleased with themselves as they walked out of the room. The only one that looked shaken was Mrs. Lore.
“You okay?” I asked her as Hale and I went to leave.
“Well…” her eyes went all around the room. The walls and the floor were white. Before today…now paint sprinkled the whole place. The tables and the walls. The ceiling… “It’s not so bad. Looks like an art room now as opposed to an old storage closet.”
“So we’re good?”
She shrugged. “I’ll let you know tomorrow.”
Hale and I walked out and I took a turn that he didn’t. He chased me down and asked where I was going.
“I’m gonna clean up. I don’t need to be covered in paint for Gym.”
“But you’re coming?”
“Yes,” I smiled. “I’ll see you soon.”
He reluctantly left and I headed to the bathroom. I was going home to shower, but I couldn’t tell him that. He’d insist he drove and the whole thing would turn into a giant mess. This way I could pop home, shower, and change into my Gym clothes.
When I got into a stall, I popped down to Hell. I wasn’t alone this time. The souls were gone but in addition to The Sage, I saw a man with him. He looked like if he s
tood he’d be tall. Like taller than Hale. His hair was black and a bit curly. It went down to the bottom of his ears.
His face was so much like Lucifer’s that I assumed he was my brother. But past that, he looked really familiar.
“Hello,” I said to him with a wave.
“Hi,” he smiled a bit.
The Sage crossed his leg. “I guess I don’t mind that you didn’t greet me, Aurora. I’ve seen you nearly every day for years but I get it. Whatever.”
“Sorry,” I grinned. “It’s nice to see you.”
“I imagine it is,” he straightened his tattered clothes.
Anyway. I turned back to my brother. “Are you waiting for something? Are you dead?” He didn’t look like a soul. You could always kinda tell. They’re not solid. They just look off.
He shook his head. “I just come down here sometimes. It’s quiet.”
I know I haven’t seen him down here. It had to be somewhere else. So I just asked. “Do we know each other? You’re an antichrist, right?” If I had my aura reading on I’d know for sure what he was.
“I am. But I don’t think we’ve met. Are you from Kansas too?”
“California.” My eyes widened. “Kansas! I was there when everyone got called down here. I stayed with a couple of Made along with way too many of our siblings. Do you know the Made?”
His smile widened. “I’m married to one of them. The other is my wife’s best friend. Shiloh and Faith.”
I must have seen him in some of the pictures around the house. I know that I never saw him in person.
“I remember Shiloh lighting up one of our brothers. It was awesome,” I laughed.
“Sounds like her. What did the kid do?”
“He got a little handsy with her. And mouthy.”
His eyes narrowed. “Handsy, huh? My wife is one to defend herself. So I’m almost surprised he didn’t get worse.”
“She also didn’t let him have any of the cookies she ordered when we got pizza.” Me and Walter got his share because we were quiet.
He laughed. “That definitely sounds like her.” He paused before he said, “Okay, I have to ask, why the Hell are you covered in paint?”
I looked at myself and remembered. “Oh, well my friend decided that we needed to play in art class. I wanted to change before I went back. There’s a bitch in my last class that will take any ammo she can use against me.”