by Arlene James
She hoped for an opportunity to speak to Ryder that evening, but after the meeting, everyone stood around the foyer of the church, visiting in groups. During that time, three different women pulled Ryder away for personal conversations. Smiling and relaxed, he hugged two of the women in greeting and listened intently to each of them. They each laughed at whatever he had to say and glanced at his feet. He still limped a bit, so she assumed he was telling them how he had hurt his foot. Her face burned. Oh, how she wished she hadn’t dropped that mineral block.
The third woman shook hands with him then stood there, clasping his hand and batting her eyelashes at him. Ryder seemed a little embarrassed, but he nodded and took out his phone. It looked like the brazen hussy was giving him her phone number!
Ann Pryor nudged Kathryn, nodded at the pair and muttered, “Told you.”
“Maybe he doesn’t know how young she is,” Kathryn whispered.
Jeri couldn’t help herself. “Just how old is she?”
“Eighteen.”
Try as she might, Jeri could not keep the frown off her face. “That’s too young for him.”
Ann grinned. “Oh, I don’t know. Some eighteen-year-olds are very mature. And twenty-five isn’t that old.”
“He’s almost twenty-six,” Jeri heard herself say. The other two just looked at her. Well, he is, she thought grumpily. He’d turn twenty-six on February 2, just over three weeks away. Only belatedly did she realize that it might seem odd for her to know his birthdate after so brief an acquaintance. Slinging on her coat, she muttered that she needed some air and walked out into the cold to stand huffing clouds into the weak light of the portico. When the door opened again, every one of the Smiths streamed outside.
Talk on the drive back to the ranch centered around the boys, who were eager to describe a game they’d played during the children’s service. Four-year-old Frankie was quite the clown, and he kept everyone laughing.
Once they reached the ranch house, Kathryn went inside to check on Tina while Jake and Frankie switched vehicles. Ryder kissed Frankie and ushered a sleepy Tyler into the house to greet his parents. Jeri followed but stopped at the door of Tina and Wyatt’s bedroom. After dithering for a few seconds, she had to decide whether to hang around in the hallway until Ryder came out or find someplace else to wait. She went to the kitchen and sat down, but after a bit she heard Ryder and Tyler moving toward the staircase at the front of the house.
She hurried after them. Ryder took the boy into his bedroom, and again she found herself hanging around a hallway trying to decide whether to stay or move on. After a few minutes, Jeri went to her own room. Leaving the door ajar so she could hear Ryder step out into the hall again, she tugged off her boots and put them away. Then she picked up a brush, sat down on the side of the bed and went to work on her hair. She’d reached brush stroke number forty-five when she thought she heard a click. Pausing, she listened carefully but heard nothing.
After her usual hundred strokes, she plaited her hair then wandered out into the hall toward Tyler’s room. The darkness at the bottom of the door showed her that the light had been turned off inside. Suddenly, she caught the barest hint of sound downstairs.
Galvanized, Jeri darted down the stairs and along the hallway into the kitchen on stockinged feet. Finding only an empty room, she hurried to the door and out onto the stoop. The faintest shadow of movement caught her eye. Turning in that direction, she saw Ryder passing through the circle of light at the far corner of the carport, heading toward the bunkhouse. She started down the steps before she remembered she was practically barefoot and shivering in the deep cold. Groaning, she spun back into the house and closed the door.
Rats.
She huffed an unhappy breath, rubbing her arms to warm herself. Well, there was always tomorrow. But how did she engage him? The horses seemed to be their only true connection.
Just as she was about to go back to her room, a deep voice asked, “Need something?”
Caught off guard, she jerked around to find Wyatt standing next to the table. He, too, wore only socks on his feet.
“I, uh, came down to get a glass of water,” she lied, moving toward the sink. “I saw that the door is unlocked and wondered if I should lock it.”
“I’ll take care of it,” he said.
Nodding, she opened a cabinet door, relieved to find the shelves lined with drinking glasses. She chose one and filled it with water. Suddenly thirsty, she drank that down and refilled the glass before turning to find Wyatt rummaging through the refrigerator.
“Good night,” she called merrily, heading for her room.
As she prepared for bed, she planned how she could convince Ryder to talk about Bryan’s death. Try as she might, however, she just couldn’t imagine what Ryder would tell her. She wasn’t even sure any longer what she wanted him to say. If he could be induced to speak on the subject at all.
Crawling beneath the bedcovers, she put the problem out of her mind by mentally going over the properties she’d seen that day. This would be a good place to start a horse ranch. It was impossible for her to do that here, of course, especially once the Smiths learned of her connection to Bryan, but maybe she really should think about moving to a more centrally located state. She began weighing the pros and cons of locations. Sleep claimed her within minutes.
Chapter Seven
When Jeri woke the next morning, brilliant shards of yellow-white light streamed through the cracks in the drapery. She stretched, feeling rested and at peace—until she remembered where she was and why. To her horror, a glance at the clock on the bedside table told her that she had forgotten to set an alarm.
She flew out of the bed, yanked on clean clothing, stomped into her boots, grabbed her hat and coat and ran down to the kitchen. The room was empty except for the boys, who were playing at the table, and Kathryn, scrubbing a skillet at the sink.
Glancing at Jeri, she smiled and said, “There you are. Help yourself to the coffee. Your breakfast is in the oven.”
Her face flaming, Jeri stammered an apology. “I—I’m so s-sorry. I overslept.”
“No problem.” Kathryn wiped her hands on a dish towel and picked up a pair of pot holders. “You’re our guest. Sleep as late as you like.”
“I have to take care of my horses.”
“Sit down and eat first.”
Jeri dropped her coat and hat on a chair, poured herself a cup of coffee and sat at the table. Kathryn deposited a plate of waffles and bacon in front of her then went to the refrigerator for yogurt and berries. Fifteen minutes later, Jeri crammed the last piece of bacon into her mouth, swiped her face with a napkin and reached for her coat and hat, having learned that Ryder was at the shop with Jake and Wyatt had driven Tina into Ardmore to see her ob-gyn.
Jeri went out to find that the weather had turned mild. It was a good day for a ride. Questioning Ryder would just have to wait.
After driving her truck over to the Burns place, she fed the horses and saddled Betty then turned the other mares out into the corral. After stretching her own taut muscles, she mounted up and gave Betty a good run, or as good as she could, considering the limitations of the property. She returned the horse to the stables and groomed her before leading the other mares back to their stalls so she could let out Glad. He rolled in the dirt and kicked up his heels while she finished her chores.
Jeri wished there was room at the Burns compound for her to set up her barrels. It wasn’t good for the horses to go days without training. She just didn’t see any place level enough and big enough on the property outside of a fenced paddock behind the Burns house, where they kept their personal mounts.
Returning to Loco Man hours after she’d left, she found Ryder, Kathryn, Tina and Wyatt sitting around the kitchen table. Wyatt held his wife’s hand as tears dripped from her chin.
Alarmed, Jeri asked, “What’s wrong?”
&nb
sp; Tina waved her free hand and shook her head. “I’m just frustrated.”
“The doctor says she has to stay in bed for the foreseeable future,” Ryder explained.
Kathryn rose to bring Jeri’s lunch. She was late to the table again.
“I’m bored stupid and getting fat,” Tina wailed, as Wyatt patted her hand.
“You’re not getting fat,” he consoled.
“I will,” she insisted, sniffing. “How am I supposed to get any exercise?”
Without even thinking, Jeri said, “If you like, I’ll teach you the conditioning stretches I use. I’ve done them for years. Many of the racers use them to stay toned and keep from getting saddle sore. You can do several in bed.”
Tina’s eyes brightened. “If you’re any example, they must really work.”
“Why, thank you.”
“Better than nothing, at the very least,” Ryder pointed out, smiling.
“Whoa,” Wyatt cautioned. “We’d better check with the doctor first.”
Tina rolled her eyes, but then she pulled a phone from the pocket of her jeans and made the call. Jeri sat down at the table next to Ryder as Kathryn brought her a plate of food. After several minutes of being switched from one person to another, Tina finally got to a nurse and explained why she was calling. A brief conversation ensued before Tina, surprisingly, passed the phone to Jeri.
Caught off guard, Jeri dropped her fork with a clank, bobbling the little phone, but then she introduced herself to the nurse on the other end of the line. What followed was nothing short of an interrogation, with Jeri describing every position and stretch. Finally, the nurse said, “She can do any of the stretches that can be performed while she’s on her back or side but nothing that requires her to be on her feet, and someone should be with her while she does them.”
Jeri repeated the instructions for the benefit of everyone at the table and passed the phone back to Tina. After several more moments, during which Tina brightened considerably and Jeri finished her lunch, the call ended.
“She thinks this might actually be helpful,” Tina said. “So what are we waiting for?”
Realizing that she’d just volunteered herself to become Tina’s physical therapist, Jeri had a moment of doubt, but then she remembered that one of her toughest competitors had maintained this workout during her own pregnancy and come out of it sleek and trim.
“You should change into something more comfortable and flexible than those jeans before we start.”
Wyatt frowned, but he got up to assist Tina to her feet, saying, “I’ll help you.”
He shot Ryder an inscrutable glance before walking Tina to the bedroom, Tina grumbling the whole way that she wasn’t an invalid and wouldn’t break. Jeri began mentally planning the session.
Interrupting her thoughts, Ryder said, “I know you’ll take every precaution with her, but bear in mind that she shouldn’t have too much physical exertion.”
Jeri knew what he was thinking. After the stunts she’d pulled that first day and dropping a fifty-pound block on his foot, she couldn’t blame him or Wyatt for being uneasy about trusting her with this.
“It’s just gentle stretching and holding in place,” she told him. “My first trainer taught me the routine when I was twelve, and I’ve used it ever since.” Lately, though, she’d been a bit remiss in performing the entire routine of stretches, so this would be good for her, too.
“Maybe I should learn them, too,” Kathryn said. “Then I can help her when you leave.”
“That’s a good idea,” Jeri agreed, but a dark cloud settled over her with the thought of leaving Loco Man Ranch for good.
How silly. Once she got the truth from Ryder, she’d want to leave, the sooner the better. She wouldn’t want to be anywhere near here when the story broke, as it inevitably would. Her mother would never be satisfied with just learning the truth. She’d want the world to know, preferably from Ryder’s own mouth in a court of law. That cloud got darker and heavier.
When Wyatt returned to say that Tina was ready, Jeri and Kathryn followed him into the spacious bedroom, where she removed her belt and boots before lying down on the floor where Tina could see her. Well aware of Wyatt hovering nearby, Jeri concentrated on making slow, easy motions, explaining each move. After she’d demonstrated each stretch, she got up and went to help Tina achieve the right poses and pressure, just as her old instructor had done for her.
At one point, Tina said, “Oh, I already feel better. I didn’t realize how tense I was. God bless you, Jeri. This is a great help.”
Jeri couldn’t even hope that Tina would feel the same way once everyone knew about her connection to Bryan. Who, she wondered, was truly living a lie, Ryder or her? After the session, she headed to her room, only to bump into Ryder in the hallway.
He caught her by the shoulders, smiling down into her face. Warmth flooded Jeri. Then he slid his arms around her and pulled her against his chest. Her cheek came to rest against his collarbone, the top of her head fitting neatly beneath his chin.
“Thank you,” he whispered, briefly tightening the hug.
Jeri closed her eyes, impressions swimming through her. Strong. Safe. Exciting. Right. This, she knew instinctively, was what being held by a man should feel like. She’d never had much time to date, and she refused to indulge in the casual intimacy that sometimes surrounded the rodeo world, but she’d had a couple semiserious relationships, and she’d never experienced anything like this. She almost felt drunk with sensation, and that terrified her.
Breaking free, she fled to her room and immediately called her mother. Dena seemed testy and impatient until Jeri explained about finding the prayer request for their family the night before. At that, Dena’s attitude changed.
“Smith’s guilt must be eating him alive,” she crowed.
Jeri hadn’t even considered that. She decided not to mention what Ryder had said about Bryan being his friend and dying too young. Instead, she promised to find a way to bring up the subject again soon and get a confession out of Ryder. Then she changed the subject to Tina and how she’d helped her perform some stretches. That did not please Dena at all.
“What are you thinking? Those people are our enemies.”
“They’re not all our enemies, Mother. Tina wasn’t even part of the family when Bryan died.”
“You’re getting too close to them,” Dena insisted. “They’re not your friends.”
They felt like friends. They had been nothing but kind to her, and Jeri knew that she would go on assisting Tina in any way that she could. But then she closed her eyes, remembering what it had felt like to be held by Ryder, and she knew that she had to finish this and get out of here. The sooner the better.
She just didn’t see any way to do that now without breaking her own heart.
* * *
Jeri slowed her truck and pulled it over to the side of the narrow road behind Abe Tolly’s SUV. Why she had insisted on driving her own vehicle to view property this time instead of riding with Tolly, Ryder couldn’t imagine. Unless it was to question him about Bryan’s death, which she had been doing for some time now.
The conversation made Ryder sick to his stomach. He wished he’d never told her about Bryan, wished he’d denied even knowing him. Her curiosity was understandable, but her insistence seemed excessive. Once she knew the truth, she would undoubtedly feel nothing but disdain for him, so why not just get it over with? Try as he might, however, he couldn’t seem to find the words.
“So what sort of accident was it?” Jeri asked, her dainty hands locked around the steering wheel.
Ryder sighed internally and rubbed a forefinger over his eyebrow. “A heartbreaking accident,” he answered, hoping she’d take the hint. She did not.
“I don’t understand.”
Ryder shifted in his seat. “Neither do I. I’ve asked God why it happened a milli
on times. All I can figure is that, for me, at least, it’s just something I have to accept.”
“And have you?”
“Not really. But I’m working on it.”
“And you think that’s all there is to it? You just accept and forget?”
He frowned at her. Was she serious? “I didn’t say anything about forgetting. Accept that it can’t be changed, yes. Forget? Never. I’ll never forget. I couldn’t even if I wanted to, and I don’t. He was my friend. What else can I do except remember him?”
She spread her hands. “Well, there’s...justice.”
“There’s no justice to be had in this case,” Ryder pointed out, feeling drained. “It was an accident, a horrible accident that can’t be undone, not by refusing to accept the reality of it or by trying to forget it—if such a thing were possible—or by assigning blame.”
“But if you could undo it...”
“I would. Of course, I would. In a heartbeat.” He rubbed his forehead, pulling up memories he could give her without betraying his friend. “I hadn’t known Bryan very long, but I liked him, and I wanted to help him. He had dreams. You know about that, right? You couldn’t have accomplished what you have if you hadn’t started with a dream. Well, he had dreams, too, and he went about making them come true the best way he knew how. It might not have been the way I would do it, but he was young and headstrong and eager...”
“What do you mean, not the way you would do it?”
Ryder wished he could call back those words. He and his brothers had decided at the very beginning that nothing would be gained by blackening Bryan’s reputation. He certainly wasn’t going to tell this curious woman that Bryan had been involved in illegal behaviors—or that he should have done more to stop the kid. At the time, he’d told himself that he had no proof, only suspicion, but that didn’t make him feel any better now.