by Arlene James
If Bryan hadn’t been such a loving brother, Jeri could have been quite jealous of him. How ironic was it that the man her mom blamed for Bryan’s death was the one to offer her the most support now?
“You must be tired,” Ryder said, sliding a steaming cup of cocoa to her.
“Very.” She abandoned the soup and took up the chocolate, sipping experimentally. “Mmm. Delicious.”
They chatted about what had gone on at the ranch while she was away. Tina was chafing at the bit to be off bedrest but obeying doctor’s orders, and so far, so good. Jake was as busy as a beaver, with people bringing him their autos from miles around.
“I’ve been spending half of every day helping him and the rest of the time with the horses.”
“Hope my two weren’t an added burden.”
“Naw. Looked like Dovie and Pearl were going to be archenemies for a while, but now they’re like best friends. That’s why they’re next to each other in the barn.”
“I saw the way Pearl hangs her head over into Dovie’s stall and how they chuff each other.”
He chuckled. “Lots of sniffing and snuffling going on over there. Is it like that at the rodeo?”
She shook her head. “Unless they know each other really well, we tend to keep our stock separated. Safer that way.”
“I figured.”
Jeri drained the cup and set it on the counter. “I’m going to fall asleep right here if I don’t move.”
“I’ll walk you to the house.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
“I want to.”
Tired as she was, she wanted that, too, so she let him help her into her coat, waiting until he’d slipped on his and settled his hat into place. She linked arms with him, and they walked out into the cold, across the yard and through the carport to the house. He didn’t stop there, though.
He walked her all the way up to her room. It was well after ten o’clock, and the household had retired, so they stayed silent, walking hand in hand. They came to a stop in front of her door. Before he had a chance to leave her, she looped her arms around his neck, her hat in her hand.
“There it is again,” he whispered, smiling down at her. “Right where it belongs.”
She knew he was talking about her hat resting between his shoulder blades. She closed her eyes as he kissed her, so very content, so much at peace. He didn’t linger, knowing she was tired.
“See you in the morning.”
“Good night.”
A few minutes later, Jeri slid down beneath the covers of a bed that seemed entirely hers now, in a room that felt more like home than any other she’d ever known.
Lightly touching her lips, she closed her eyes and thought about that kiss.
He wanted her. No doubt about it. He wanted her now, but he wouldn’t when he knew the truth. That was what she had to remember.
That was not, however, what she dreamed.
Chapter Twelve
Jeri slept in the next morning then rose to learn Ryder was at the shop with Jake. He’d left a message with Kathryn, saying he’d taken care of her horses, so Jeri shouldn’t worry about that.
Tina had asked to see her, so after she’d eaten, Jeri went into the master bedroom. Tina’s baby bump had become a baby mountain, and she grimaced with pain even as Jeri eased down into the rocking chair that Wyatt had brought in.
“Are you okay?”
Tina waved a hand. “It comes and goes, but it’s not bad, just the occasional ripple. The doctor says all is well.”
Jeri relaxed. “That’s good. My only real experience with birth has to do with animals.”
“Well, I’m just thankful humans don’t gestate for eleven months,” Tina quipped. “That’s right, isn’t it? Horses are pregnant for eleven months?”
Jeri nodded. “Thereabouts.”
Tina put her head back, looking heavenward. “Okay, God, I’m through complaining now. All I can say is, thank You for not making me a horse.”
Laughing, Jeri said, “Most domestic livestock give birth in the spring. I want to be well settled before Dovie foals.”
“That’s your horse?”
“One of them.”
“Everyone says Stark is excellent at delivering animals.”
Jeri nodded. “I’m sure that’s true. From my experience, I’d say he’s a really good vet. All through high school I worked for a veterinarian. Can’t count how many kittens, puppies, calves and foals I’ve helped deliver. Even a few sheep and a kid. That is, a goat.”
Tina laughed. “Sounds like you’re handy to have around.”
“I don’t know about that.”
Elbowing her way higher in the bed, Tina grimaced again, but then she smoothed her hands over her swollen belly and smiled. “I wanted to tell you that you won’t be our only guest for a few days. We have a couple coming in to visit their grandchildren. We’ll be serving breakfast in the dining room for them in the morning, and it might get awkward if you eat with the family and they find out you’re a guest.”
Jeri felt a twinge of disappointment, hurt even. She’d started to feel like one of the family, which was ludicrous. Pasting on a smile, she nodded.
“No problem.”
“Thank you. I knew you’d understand.”
They talked about Denver for a few minutes, then Jeri went upstairs for her coat and got to work. She saddled Betty and rode her out to the practice field. They trained for nearly two hours before Jeri dismounted and walked the horse back to the barn. After currying the mare, she saddled Glad and rode him out to the field. When she looked up quite some time later, she found Ryder standing there watching, his forearms folded across the top pipe of the temporary fence section, a big grin on his face. Star waited in the small enclosure, saddled and ready. Jeri dismounted and walked Glad over to him.
“How long have you been there?”
“Not long enough. I do love to watch you work.”
She laughed. “Guess I get pretty deep into it.”
He nodded. “You talk to Tina?”
“Yes.”
“You don’t have to eat in the dining room if you don’t want to.”
She shrugged. “It’s just breakfast. I can manage until I leave Thursday evening for Fort Worth.”
He sighed. Then he smiled and reached for the reins. “I’d better take care of this old boy so he’ll take care of you in Fort Worth.”
She couldn’t resist the impulse to peck a quick kiss on his lips before she turned over the reins. Then she watched him lead the horse away, wondering how many more times she’d be able to do that.
The fear that he’d discover exactly who she was and why she’d come there never left her. She could push it away while he was with her, but it was always there in the back of her consciousness. One day it was going to come crashing down around her.
And destroy her whole world.
* * *
The weather turned bitterly cold again on Tuesday night. Their new guests, a plump, gregarious couple who wore identical eyeglasses, joked that they’d brought the cold with them from Nebraska. The drop in temperature, however, didn’t affect everyone so much as the wind, which built throughout the night until it howled with such ferocity that it woke Ryder from a sound sleep. Thankfully, no precipitation accompanied the gale, but with the temperature well below freezing, the wind drove cold into every crack and crevice.
Despite the constant hum of the central heating unit and a thermostat that told him the inside temperature hovered at sixty-eight degrees, Ryder huddled beneath his covers, feeling cold and isolated. Sleep seemed to blow away on the wind, which finally ebbed into silence some time before dawn. In the still, gray light, the grinding of a starter rousted Ryder out of bed and into warm clothing. Shoulders hunched, he stepped out into a sharply cold, quiet morning. The sky was overcast
with dirty gray clouds that hung so low they trapped sound at ground level. He even heard Jeri smack the steering wheel of her truck in frustration as he crossed the frozen yard.
He smiled. Somehow even her frustration pleased him. Trying not to chuckle at his own foolishness, he let himself into her truck on the passenger side.
“Trouble?”
“It won’t start! Truck’s got less than sixty thousand miles on it, and it won’t start!”
He settled a gloved hand on the nape of her long, graceful neck. “Don’t worry, darlin’. Most likely it’s the battery. A cold snap will drain it. When Jake and Kathryn get here, he can take a look at it. Where are you off to so early anyhow?”
She shrugged, looking entirely too innocent. “Nowhere in particular. Thought I’d wander around town for a bit, maybe get some breakfast.”
Ah. “You don’t like the MacAfees?”
She sliced him with a glance. “It’s not that. I—I don’t even know the MacAfees. I just...” Tilting her head, she hid her face from him with the brim of her hat.
“You can have breakfast with the family if you prefer. In fact, I’ll ask Kathryn to serve everyone in the dining room, if you like.”
“No! I mean, being on the road, you...well, you get used to...privacy.”
Privacy. Ryder thought it through. If he could name one thing Jeri seemed to have plenty of, it would be privacy. She traveled constantly. Alone. Normally, she worked long hours. Alone. While at Loco Man Ranch, she’d happily joined the family for meals day in and day out until now, so why the sudden need for privacy? He’d have thought the reverse would be true.
“So you don’t want company?”
“I do,” she answered quickly, but then her gaze shifted away again. “Some.”
Some company.
He smiled. Not a cloud had moved, but the day felt brighter, lighter, warmer. Him. She meant him when she said she wanted “some” company.
Suddenly, he realized why the night had seemed so long and cold. The problem wasn’t the temperature or even the wind. Sleep had eluded him because he’d missed her so keenly. He’d missed her desperately while she’d been away and had admitted it without reservation, if only to himself. For some reason, though, he’d missed her even more last night. He’d buried the feeling, but examined it now.
Just knowing she was there across the yard instead of with him, where he increasingly believed she should be, had kept him teetering on the knife-edge of restlessness. Nothing had felt right because she belonged with him. It was that simple.
Whether he deserved her or not, she belonged with him. He was never going to feel right again until she belonged to him. He was already hers. She just didn’t know it yet.
“We can take my car into town.”
Her head jerked around, and she beamed at him. “Okay.”
Maybe some part of her did know that they were meant to be together, after all.
“You drive. That way I can lay back my seat and get comfortable.”
Still beaming, she hopped out of the truck and ran around to the old sedan that had once belonged to Tina. He followed, marveling at how God had moved in his life, for this could be nothing else.
Maybe ten minutes later, while waiting to turn the sedan into a parking space in front of the diner, they met Jake, Kathryn and Frankie in Jake’s truck. Right there in the middle of Main Street, Jake stopped and rolled down the window. Jeri did the same.
“What’s up? Didn’t expect to see the two of you in town this early. Especially not in that vehicle.”
Ryder explained that they’d decided to hit the diner for coffee but that Jeri’s truck wouldn’t start so they’d come in the sedan.
“Uh-huh. ’Cause there’s no coffee at the ranch.” Grinning, Jake changed the subject. “Probably all that’s wrong with the truck is the battery. I’ll look at it after breakfast.” He shook his head then, saying to Ryder, “You know you look ridiculous in that little car, right?”
Ryder rolled his eyes. “The fact is, I’ve been thinking about buying a truck of my own.”
“Hoot Waller is selling that flashy, flame red Dodge Ram he bought a few months ago,” Jake informed Ryder. “He wants everything checked out on it and says he’ll make a good deal because it’s got to go fast. Phyllis is divorcing him.”
“They’ve only been married two or three years.”
“Yep. Sad, isn’t it?” With that, Jake rolled up his window and drove on.
“I don’t understand it,” Ryder commented, shaking his head. “Divorce just makes no sense to me.”
“Sometimes it’s the only way, though,” Jeri said, turning into the parking space. “My mom had a friend whose husband drank too much and knocked her around. She tried every possible way to make it work. He’d stop drinking for a while, but then something would go wrong, he’d turn back to the bottle and then he’d take out his frustrations on her again. The last time, he stabbed her. She barely got out of the marriage alive.”
“I don’t understand that, either,” Ryder said, frowning. “How does hurting someone make anything better? Especially someone smaller and weaker than you.”
Killing the engine, Jeri sent him a pointed look. “Says the MMA fighter.”
Ryder shook his head. “It wasn’t about hurting anyone. Like boxing, it’s a sport. You want to overpower your opponent, yes, but it’s not about inflicting pain for some sense of satisfaction. It’s about skill and technique, personal toughness and strength. There’s a lot of posturing and showmanship, but I fought men who are good friends of mine, as well as some I didn’t know well, and some I didn’t like much, but I never wanted to hurt anyone. Yes, some fighters lose sight of MMA as a sport—mostly those who abuse drugs—but they don’t last long. Outside the cage, I’d only fight to protect the innocent and those I love, and most of the fighters I know are the same way.”
“Would you go back to cage fighting now?”
“No. Never again. And I wasn’t the only one who dropped out after Bryan died.”
Her gaze took on a faraway look. “I didn’t know.”
“No reason you should,” he said, opening his car door.
She got out on her side and joined him on the sidewalk. They entered the little café to find Abe Tolly at the diner counter, hunched over a plate of flapjacks. He smiled broadly upon their entrance and turned on his stool. “Hey. One of my favorite young couples. I’ve been meaning to call you. Got a new listing you might be interested in.”
Couple. Ryder watched Jeri, waiting to see if she would correct Tolly, but she just smiled and said, “We’ll be glad to talk to you about it, but I’m not sure we’ll have time to look at any properties this week. I’ve got to get ready for a competition in Fort Worth.”
We.
Ryder lifted his hand to the small of her back in a purely possessive gesture and let himself brag. “She finished second in Denver last weekend, and she’s determined to nail first place in Fort Worth.”
“Good for you!” Tolly told her. “Property’s not even listed yet. You go get ’em in Fort Worth, and we’ll talk about spending your winnings when you get back.”
Jeri laughed. “Sure thing, Mr. Tolly. Thanks.”
They ate breakfast in a booth in the far corner, lingering over coffee and talking quietly about the Fort Worth rodeo. Afterward, they went back to the ranch and took care of the horses. Ryder jump-started Jeri’s truck before driving it over to Jake’s shop, where Jake was eager to show Hoot Waller’s truck to Ryder. It had all the bells and whistles, and the price was right, so Ryder took it out for a spin.
He drove first. Then Jeri got behind the wheel.
“It’ll tow a trailer full of horses, no doubt about it. Comfortable, too.”
He silently prayed about it all the way back to the shop.
Is this it, Lord? My girl? My truck? My future?
Is this You telling me to go for it?
He thought again of Fort Worth. And Dallas. He thought, too, of a more substantial future. Paying cash for the truck wouldn’t leave him with much savings or build his credit.
“Guess I better go to the bank.”
Jake was glad to hear it. Clapping Ryder on the shoulder, he said, “We’ve taken care of you. Now, let’s look at Jeri’s truck.”
Even after a jump start and driving the truck over to the shop, the engine wouldn’t turn over. The battery was shot.
“I’ll replace it with a heavy-duty model, wholesale. Might as well check out everything else. When did you last have the oil changed?”
Jeri grimaced. “I don’t recall. I’m not very good at that sort of thing.”
Ryder blinked at Jeri then looked to Jake. “The woman drives all over the country by herself, and she doesn’t remember when she last had her truck serviced. Yow.”
Jake grinned at Jeri and drawled, “Not that he worries about you or anything. We’ll take care of it.”
Jeri slid her hand into Ryder’s. “Thank you.”
“No problem,” Jake told her, grinning, then he jerked his head at Ryder. “Take my truck back to the house. I’ll drive Jeri’s over when I’m done.”
“Now that’s service,” Jeri said as Ryder walked her out to Jake’s truck. “I absolutely love the way he’s decorated the place.”
“That’s not Jake’s doing. He can thank Kathryn for that.”
“You should get her to decorate the bunkhouse for you.”
“What? You don’t like my gym motif?”
They both laughed.
As soon as they returned to the house, they got to work with the horses. Jake returned to the house for lunch, leaving her truck in the carport. Ryder and Jeri dragged in last. Ryder was shivering with cold, so he knew Jeri had to be frozen to the bone. Thankfully, Kathryn had a hot lunch ready. Afterward, Jeri said she was going to wait a couple of hours before getting back to work, to which Wyatt remarked, “You really need an indoor area to work in.”
“Someday,” she told him, rising to help clean up.