by Arlene James
They weren’t allowed fires at the place where she was camped, so on Sunday evening, after attending the Cowboy Church service provided for the contestants and exhibitors, the four of them gathered at Ox’s apartment. Forgoing the rodeo entirely that night, they ate steaks carried in from a local restaurant in front of the tiny fireplace tucked into the corner of the living room. They laughed and talked late into the night. Then Ryder walked Jeri downstairs to kiss her goodbye beside Lacy’s brother’s truck. A bronc rider, he traveled with Lacy, but thus far they’d seen nothing of him.
After Lacy came down and the women left, Ryder climbed the stairs to Ox’s apartment again. His friend grinned like the proverbial Cheshire cat, so Ryder knew he was in for a ribbing. Deciding to beat Ox to the punch, he plopped down on the sofa and popped off.
“So, you got Lacy under your spell yet?”
To his surprise, Ox sobered. “Doubt it. A woman like that is plumb outta my league, Ry. I drive heavy equipment for a living.”
“Nothing wrong with that. I can’t even say that much. I’m hoping to raise horses, but right now I’m just a glorified ranch hand. And look who I’m with.”
Ox lifted his feet to the battered coffee table, stacking one booted ankle atop another. “Ain’t that the truth! No offense, friend—you know I love you like a brother—but it just don’t figure. She’s not as famous as some, but she will be. You know that, don’t you?”
“I know it,” Ryder confirmed. “I know it in my bones.”
“I mean, look at her. Either of them. They’re gorgeous.”
“I see her in my dreams, Ox.”
Oscar shook his head. “If you’d stuck with the cage fighting, you might’ve been somebody someday, too, but you gave that up.”
“You know why,” Ryder put in quietly.
“She know about that?”
Ryder nodded. “She does. That’s part of it. I never imagined a woman who could trust me after Bryan’s death.”
“Dude. How many times we gotta go over that? You’re—”
“Not to blame.” Ryder finished for him, holding up hand, flat palm facing his friend. “I know. I know. But knowing it and feeling it are two different things.” Looking down, he tugged off his boots. “I’m getting there, though.”
“Because of her?” Ox probed.
Ryder shrugged, unwilling to reveal more than he had. “Let’s just say, I’m in a good place right now.”
“That’s my point exactly. Against all odds, Jeri Bogman seems fall-down-blind, slap-me-silly crazy about you. Grab her while you can and hold on tight. Before it’s too late.”
Ryder smiled. “What do you think I’m doing here?”
“Well, you didn’t come just to see me.”
“I’d have gotten around to it,” Ryder insisted.
Grinning, Ox threaded his fingers over his belt buckle. “I don’t care why you came. I’m just glad you’re here. And if it keeps throwing that luscious blonde my way, I’ll kiss you at your wedding.”
Laughing, Ryder held up his thumb and forefinger, showing a small gap between them. “Getting just a tad ahead of yourself, don’t you think?”
“Not much,” Oscar said. “Not if you’re as smart as I think you are. Act fast. Before this thing blows up in your face.”
And breaks my heart, Ryder thought.
* * *
“She won,” Ryder announced on Monday, hanging up their coats in the kitchen at the Loco Man ranch house.
They’d delayed their departure from Fort Worth until after rush hour that morning, so Jeri was surprised to find the family still at lunch. Even now, she could hardly believe that she’d taken the top spot in Fort Worth. Her time that first night had been the best overall, but the later runs had been fast enough to keep anyone else from catching her. The aggregate time had come in at sixteen and four-tenths of a second, not a record but the best of the ten-day event.
Wyatt wiped his mouth with a napkin and got up to come toward them. “Winning at a Fort Worth rodeo is big stuff. Congratulations, Jeri.” He lightly embraced her then pulled in Ryder for a backslapping bear hug. “We missed you.”
“Boy, did we ever,” Jake said. “I’ve spent so much time tending horses, I’m starting to look like one.”
“You had that problem before I left,” Ryder shot back, grinning.
Kathryn snickered behind her hand. “What Jake really means is that he hasn’t had as much time to tinker with that old Jeep as he wants.”
Chuckling and shaking a finger at Jake, Wyatt walked back to the table. “You better watch it or Delgado will dicker you out of that thing. He wants it bad.”
“Aw, I’ll probably let him take it and drive it when I’m done. We’ll title and tag it to the ranch and let him use it. We sure use his old truck enough.”
“Now we have another,” Ryder said, escorting Jeri to the table.
She’d gotten so used to waiting for him that she hadn’t even thought of walking to the table on her own.
“What?” Wyatt scoffed, teasing. “That rodeo truck you bought? Why, that’s just for show, isn’t it?”
“It got quite a lot of notice this past week,” Jeri said, joining in the fun. “As did its owner. I had to warn off more cowgirls than I could count.”
“What?” Ryder squawked, pulling out her chair.
Jeri grinned. “Everyone kept asking where I found my new wrangler. I had to tell them you’re the last of your kind. Besides, not many can handle the likes of you.”
“Or would,” Jake added dryly.
Everyone laughed. Ryder ran a hand through his rumpled hair, smiling sheepishly. He took his place at the table next to Jeri, who filled her plate then his, making sure he got the lion’s share. It was good to be home. How easy it was to think of this place as part hers now. She had to forcibly remind herself that it was not.
“How’s Tina?”
“Restless but otherwise well. She’ll want a detailed rundown on your week.”
“I’ll go in and visit her after I eat.”
Wyatt asked about Oscar. Ryder, who seemed strangely pensive, lifted his head and answered.
“Ox is good. He’d rather be living in Fort Worth than Dallas, but the job is just up the road from his apartment, so I imagine he’ll stay put for now. It was good to see him.”
“He’s a card,” Jeri added. “Kept my friend Lacy in stitches.”
Jeri wished she’d see Lacy over the coming weekend. So many of the single women involved in rodeo were party girls, but that wasn’t Jeri’s style. Of like mind, Lacy was always a welcome sight. Unfortunately, they were headed in opposite directions for at least the next couple of weeks. Maybe if Lacy were coming to the competition in Montana, Jeri wouldn’t miss Ryder so much. Leaving him this time was going to be excruciating, but they’d settled that back in Fort Worth.
“It just isn’t wise, darlin’,” he’d said, sitting on the fender of her trailer with his arm looped about her. He wouldn’t even step foot inside the tiny cabin. “Staying with a friend sixty-some miles away and checking into a motel room on my own are two different levels. I’d love to be there to support you, but it would be just too expensive. Still, you know my heart’ll be right there with you, every step of the way.”
She’d buried her face in the curve of his neck, feeling such love for this man that she could barely think of anything else. If only her mother hadn’t become more and more strident over the past week. Several times Jeri had walked away from Ryder and their friends to take her mom’s angry calls. Finally, Jeri had just stopped answering the phone. Dena was furious that Jeri had fired the investigator and flatly refused to answer any of Jeri’s questions concerning Bryan. Instead, she continuously demanded that Jeri find some way to incriminate Ryder, and even the feeblest defense of him had resulted in a cataclysm of threats.
“Nice? He�
��s a nice man? How nice was he when he was breaking your brother’s neck? If you blow this, you’re no daughter of mine, Jeri Jane Bogman! Do you hear me? You’ll be a disgrace to your brother’s memory, and as dead to me as he is!”
Jeri trembled every time she remembered the ugly words, but all she could do was pray for God to hand her a solution. Her mother was wrong about Ryder, but Jeri feared that nothing anyone could say would change Dena’s mind.
It was a short week. Because the drive to Montana meant nearly twenty-four hours on the road, she had to leave early on Wednesday. Nevertheless, she and Ryder made time to look at properties with Abe Tolly, discussing the pros and cons of each as if they might buy it.
“That hilltop over there is a good spot for a house,” Ryder pointed out at the last place.
Jeri’s heart soared even as her stomach turned over. “You mean, build a house?”
“Wouldn’t have to be anything fancy.”
She pretended she didn’t understand what he was suggesting. “You should see what I’m living in now. Not that I’m there much. The house is practically falling down. I don’t know why I even pay the rent.”
He turned in a circle then, gazing at the landscape around them. “Seems odd to be talking about buying property when the Loco Man has so much space to spare.”
She tried for a chuckle, but it came out more of a stuttering sigh. “Your brothers aren’t going to sell me a piece of Loco Man, not even a measly hundred and sixty acres.”
“No,” he agreed quietly, “but they’d give it to me.” Stepping closer, he spoke in a near whisper, his voice a deep, rumbling caress. “I know it’s too soon for this, but—”
Grasping him by the waist, she pressed against him, hiding her face in the hollow of his shoulder. “Don’t say it. Not yet. I keep thinking you’ll change your mind, that I’ll wake up one morning and you’ll look at me like you don’t even know me. And you don’t. Not really.”
He slid his hand under the heavy curtain of her hair and cupped the nape of her neck. “I know I won’t ever feel like this about anyone else. Girl, I’m head over heels in—”
She put her hand over his mouth. “Please. How am I supposed to leave you once you’ve said that? I can barely stand it now. And I must go. I must.”
He smiled against her fingertips then tugged her hand away. “You’re right. Your career has to come first. It’s not like the land is going to get up and walk off. Let’s put Montana behind us and plan for February. Valentine’s Day is coming up.”
“Your birthday’s first,” she reminded him.
He grinned. “How do you know when my birthday is?”
“I found out, okay?”
“Okay.”
“And I’ll be here. I promise.”
“Darlin’, that’s a Sunday,” he pointed out. “You’d have to leave the rodeo early to make it back here by Sunday.”
She made a face. “I want to be here for your birthday.”
“I know. Maybe next year.”
But would next year come for the two of them? If only she knew how to fix this mess. Why hadn’t she come straight at him and demanded the truth from the very beginning? But no, she’d had to lie, pretend she knew nothing of his history with her own brother.
“You going to tell me when your birthday is?” Ryder asked, smiling.
“July. The eighth.”
He rubbed his hands together. “Ooh. That gives me a good long time to plan.”
“Now, you behave yourself, Ryder Smith,” she ordered teasingly. “At this point, I wouldn’t put anything past you.”
“Well, no, honey. You shouldn’t,” he retorted, winking at her.
She laughed. She couldn’t help herself. Despite the doom that seemed to hang over her, it was impossible not to be happy around him. Clasping her hand, he turned to the Realtor, who had maintained a respectful distance. “Abe, we need to get back to the ranch. Jeri’s headed to Montana shortly, and there’s lots to do.”
The dignified old cowboy nodded, a secretive smile on his weathered face. Jeri had no idea what he might be thinking.
But it couldn’t be what she was thinking. That she was a walking, smiling lie.
Chapter Fourteen
She made her run on Friday night and was disqualified for knocking over not one but two barrels. Furious with herself, she vowed that she’d make no more short turnaround trips. If she’d been working from Texas, she’d have driven straight to Montana after Fort Worth, giving herself time to make a leisurely transition and rest before competing.
Remembering those few days at Loco Man Ranch with Ryder and the rest of the family, she asked herself if the stopover had been worth it. Homesickness swamped her with an intensity that reduced her to hot tears. Suddenly the stupidity and uselessness of it all hit her like a Mack truck.
What was the point of driving halfway across the country to compete when Ryder waited for her back in Oklahoma? What difference did it make if she won or lost? If he wasn’t with her, nothing else mattered—not the standings, not the money, not even the horses.
Determined to make it back to the ranch in time for his birthday, she loaded up and headed out before dawn the next morning, pouring coffee down her throat to stay awake, a sense of urgency spurring her. Driving straight through, she made it—barely. The hour was nearing 11 p.m. when she pulled into the Loco Man compound on Sunday evening. She didn’t expect Ryder to be waiting because she hadn’t informed him that she was coming. Instead, she’d thought to surprise him and keep him from worrying about her into the bargain.
She almost wept when she saw that the lights were still on in the house. That didn’t mean Ryder was in there, but it might mean he was still awake. Tired, anxious and desperate to see him, she grabbed the small, wrapped package off the seat next to her, left the horses standing in the trailer and ran for the house, forgetting her coat. After Montana, Oklahoma didn’t even feel cold to her.
The instant she opened the door, she knew something bad had happened. Only Wyatt looked at her. Sitting with his back to the door, Ryder merely bowed his head. Jake deliberately looked away. Her heart thunking and stomach twisting, she advanced into the room, mentally grabbing at every conceivable problem or tragedy. The most urgent possibility had her stumbling to a halt.
“Tina? Has something happened to Tina?”
“Tina’s fine,” Wyatt stated, his voice flat and hard. “As fine as she can be, anyhow.”
But something was wrong. Jeri could feel it. “Then what’s happened?”
“Nothing much,” Jake snapped, glaring at her. “Just character assassination, half-truths and outright lies. You know, business as usual with you, Miss Bogman. It is Bogman, isn’t it? Not Averrett.”
They knew.
The world seemed to tilt, crack and splinter, the pieces falling away to leave the same tableau before her: Ryder bowed and silent, Wyatt grim and hard, Jake furious. Somehow, though, the scene had been transported to an entirely different plane of existence, one where every warm light, every welcoming smile, all sweetness and hope had been banished. She had to stiffen her knees to stay upright.
“I can explain.”
“Explain this,” Wyatt said, rising to toss a folded newspaper at her feet.
Crouching, Jeri laid aside the gift-wrapped package and reached for the paper, carefully unfolding it. There on the front page of Friday’s edition of the Tri-County Weekly was a publicity photo of Ryder from his cage-fighting days, bare-chested and looking fierce. The headline read, “Local Resident Accused of Murder.” Crying out, she went to her knees, quickly scanning the print with tear-filled eyes.
It was all there, anonymously sourced, even the fact that he had been cleared by Houston authorities. That snippet of information had been buried in a deluge of suspicions and accusations that sounded so incredibly familiar that she knew they could only hav
e come from her mother, whose name was not mentioned. Jeri’s was, though. She read the sentence silently, while her heart cried out in anguish.
“Jeri Bogman, the victim’s half sister and well-known barrel racer, has personally been investigating what many consider to be a grave miscarriage of justice.”
“I didn’t do this,” she managed, her voice trembling as tears spattered the page. “I would never—”
Ryder’s chair suddenly screeched across the floor. Before she could make it to her feet, he strode past her and out the door, crushing beneath his booted foot the package containing the gift she’d had made for him.
She clapped a hand over her mouth, trapping the scream building in her throat. Gulping, she struggled to her feet and turned an imploring gaze on his brothers.
“I would never do this to him. I love him.”
“Right,” Jake snarled. “You love the man who killed your brother.” He stabbed a forefinger at the paper. “Murdered him, it says in there.”
“It was an accident,” she squeaked.
“But you coming here wasn’t,” Jake accused.
That she couldn’t deny. “No.” She shook her head.
Wyatt tossed another paper at her. “At least the Sunday edition of the Ardmore paper was more circumspect.” He tossed another. “It only got three inches of space in Oklahoma City. I guess that’s something to be thankful for.”
Jeri moaned, swaying. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I never meant... When I came here, I only wanted the truth.”
“Yeah,” Jake said in a sarcastic tone. “The truth would be nice. Once in a while.”
Wincing, Jeri couldn’t think what else to say. She deserved everything he’d said and more. She had lied. She’d come here under false pretenses. And she’d fallen in love. For all the good that did anyone now.