“It was a while before I could face my trauma and say fuck you to the memories, even if I don’t always win.” Quiet words seemed to revive his own nightmare. “You’ll do it too.”
After his reaction in the tunnels with the squeaking, chattering rats and his brothers closing in beside him for support, she wondered how often PTSD slapped him upside the head with a Hey Caden, let’s schmooze for a while, I’m bored.
“Thank you.” Random thoughts flitted through her mind as she stuffed clothes from her dresser into the canvas bag retrieved from underneath her bed. The weather was warming, but nights were still cool, meaning a light sweater and corduroy pants were still in order. She used her body to block sight of all the lace panties and bras retrieved from the top dresser drawer. It didn’t matter that she modeled them for no one. They made her feel attractive.
“Pack as much as you can.”
“I have a suitcase in the closet. I—” A place, for some reason she couldn’t face.
He would read her panic, knowing the thug had come in her door and hadn’t lain in wait, but fear wasn’t a rational beast that attacked head-on.
Once he opened the suitcase on her bed, she filled it with as much as it could hold, blushing as she tried to hide a sexy nightgown under blue jeans. He doesn’t miss a thing.
She grabbed her laptop as he shouldered the duffle and picked up her suitcase.
“Hey. I carry my backup flash in this locket. When I was sitting at the café, I’d changed out the cards. So this one has all the pics I’ve taken since arriving.”
“We’ll look at them when we get home.” Again, he glanced around, his lips set in a firm line. “All set?”
“Yeah. I just don’t know if I can come back here.”
“Give it time. We’ll see.”
“I know I’ll have to return to regain my confidence.”
“Priorities include you getting some rest.” He paused as if unsure how to word his thoughts. “I’d rather leave your car here tonight. Since your intruder knew where you lived, it’s conceivable he placed a tracker on it. I can check, but it’s better to do it in daylight.”
“That’s why you took those weird routes from the hospital.”
“I needed to make sure we weren’t followed, just like I’ll do when we leave here.” A slight blush climbed his cheeks before adding, “If you have any perishables you want to bring, that’s fine. I don’t keep my fridge stocked, but we’ll shop tomorrow.”
“Hmm, a bachelor that doesn’t cook?” He probably had to beat the women away. “I’ve got a few boxes in the closet we can use to carry the food. No need to let it go bad. And again, thanks.” She sighed as she looked around. “Things like this don’t happen to small-town girls like me.”
Some anomaly embedded in her soul or cloaking her aura designated her as prey worthy of hunt and capture. The obvious vulnerability she’d fought so hard to beat since Reese’s death now flourished with a vengeance. No amount of gazing in the mirror would reveal the thread of darkness wrapping her spirit in a blazing invitation only the dregs of humanity could see.
“Earth to Kaylee? Put both paddles in the water.” Cade waved a hand in front of her face.
“Yeah, sorry. A lot’s happening. Lucky for you, I’m a fairly good cook.” Thinking of his experience as a PI and ex-cop, maybe she stood a chance at surviving when the thugs again tracked her down. Eventually, they would.
Chapter Ten
Caden filled the homeward ride with comfortable chitchat reminiscent of a Sunday afternoon on the porch with her parents and twin. As long as he didn’t touch her or stand too close, she could see him as a friend, confidant, and shield against harm. Otherwise, her hormones soared into overdrive and blunted the edge of a normally sharp wit.
She’d expected to reconnect with old friends at some point, once logic and grit ruled emotion. Reese had been the popular one, the easygoing, handsome, and personable soul that drew others without effort. Without her other half, fear of rejection had set up camp and strived to control her actions. The unique and fragile license to rekindle friendship with Caden had sprung from desperation and insecurity yet calcified with shared experiences and mutual respect.
“You feel like calling them?” Spoken with the expectation she’d know to whom he referred.
“No, my father will flip out. I’m not ready to handle that. If we discussed the current situation, he’d be out here looking over everyone’s shoulder and issuing commands. Trust me, you don’t want to deal with him. He’s a force to be reckoned with.” Despite the knowledge he’d do it out of love, she didn’t want her dad risking his health. Her parents had given her so much.
“You’re a chip off the block.”
“Hmm. They’ve always been supportive, even of my ambition for independence. When Reese died in the car accident, I didn’t want to leave my dorm room. It was like the world caved in and I couldn’t breathe.” Small yet important details about her twin were slowly dimming, rejuvenating the pain of loss. “Gradually, I’ve surfaced and started rebuilding my life. We’d been planning on moving out here together.”
“Ah, sorry I stirred bad memories.”
“Not your fault. I’m learning to adjust.” Initially, the internal buildup of pressure had grown exponentially like the vacuum of space where body fluids boiled and explosion was imminent.
Concrete sidewalks and city townhouses slid by before grass shoulders and deeper lawns with larger homes held sway. She could easily picture Caden in suburbia with room for family gatherings yet with enough privacy for the invariable long parade of women. Though he’d given no notice of the suggestive stares from the nursing staff, he was the type of man who tracked everything in his surroundings.
“In high school, I loved art but realized I’d never support myself with painting and drawing. Reese helped my parents pick out my Christmas present, a high-end camera, and I started taking photography more seriously. I was already addicted but hadn’t thought of it as a career possibility. For my birthday, they gave me the software to manipulate the images, and from there it was a match made in heaven.”
“I figured you had some type of computer background, considering your adeptness with my composite program.”
She smiled. “At Syracuse, I majored in digital photography, loved looking at the world through a viewfinder as well as editing the images.” At first, she’d felt lost at school, adrift from everyone and everything she’d loved but then threw herself into the study of shadows and light, technology, and the charm of New York. If not for her dedication to the craft, the tide of grief over Reese’s passing would have pulled her under.
“I didn’t take you for an extreme country boy, but it shouldn’t surprise me.” The farther they drove, exchanging developments for farmland and long stretches of dense woods, the more she realized the man had many sides, the most interesting were the ones he didn’t show the world.
“I’ve always craved privacy, but now I’m not so sure. I just moved in recently, so fair warning. Boxes are everywhere.” His gaze drifted out the side window where moonlight separated bare limbs reaching for the heavens in prayer. Gently rolling hills straddling the deserted highway created a surreal landscape worthy of a fiction writer’s best efforts.
The narrow gravel path Caden navigated after turning off the state road bisected thick woods with early budding branches enclosing them in a darker world. A week ago, she would have viewed the scene as cozy and inviting, even romantic with little light penetrating from above, yet now she felt an ominous flare seething in the atmosphere. She wondered if the foreboding would evaporate with time and return her to a normal way of thinking when they caught the kidnappers.
A small audible exhalation escaped after rounding the next bend. A picturesque scene lay ahead, worthy of an old-world monastery. Graceful arches of hemlock and red alders dotted the front yard, allowing glimpses of the residence beyond.
She’d spent four years photographing sights and architecture in New Yo
rk, a fondness deepening with each snap of her shutter. What she now saw personified aspects of Caden’s character. Solid strength.
The house overhauled the concept of owning a cabin in the woods. The two-story contemporary with glass walls allowed an unobstructed view of the forest and boasted a twin-story, wraparound balcony. Rich, dark wood blended with the environment while the stone front encasing the glass extended the length of the verandah and completed the look. Recessed lighting brightened the downstairs while floodlights tucked under the eaves illuminated the surrounding area.
“Wow. It’s beautiful. Looks like you could see everything from the balcony.”
And an intruder standing there could watch you sleep, or undress.
“All the windows and sliders have one-way blinds that I use when I’m home. They still let in the light, but you can’t see inside during the day. After dark, we can close the drapes.” A glitter of steel flickered through his gaze before he cut the engine. “I always swore I’d have a cabin in the woods.” His tone lacked the depth of conviction.
To redirect his thinking, she pondered aloud, “When I was little, I wanted to be a dog handler in the State Police.” Popping the latch on her door, she glanced over before getting out.
“I almost went that route, but Matt beat me to it. I am, however, getting a pup soon. The litter I told you about is an American line of working German shepherds.”
“Are they all spoken for yet? I’m definitely going to have a four-footed partner. He could go everywhere with me, especially when I’m out working.” Her protector was a Good Samaritan and loved dogs. Damn.
The pro-Caden list gained momentum in her head. Not a good sign. She had no difficulty resisting mortal men but to find one with dominion over the average female with the growing list of attributes sent up a corps of red flags.
“No, not yet. We can make a call tomorrow. C’mon, I’ll give you the grand tour. It’s pretty quick.” A ring of false enthusiasm corresponded with the smile that didn’t reach his eyes.
He hadn’t been joking when he said he had crates everywhere. From the brick walkway, she observed stacks of boxes behind a leather sofa and along the outer wall. Once inside, it appeared he hadn’t unpacked anything. “You’re not going to stay here are you?” It wasn’t the stacked boxes that revealed his uncertainty but something deeper, darker, and unspoken.
A quick, soft inhale preceded the deer-in-the-headlights expression flashing across his face but gone in the next heartbeat. Each was long enough for guilt to slither into her conscience. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”
“No. No, it’s all right. You’re as insightful as my family and just as forthright.” He pinched his bottom lip between his teeth before continuing. “I haven’t resolved the issue one way or another. My brothers keep telling me to give it six months before deciding, afraid I’ll regret a rash judgment. I am starting to warm up to the idea. Maybe with some modifications, it would be a good fit.” After opening the door, he entered a code on his alarm system.
An open layout offered the vantage point of viewing more boxes stacked near a long kitchen island and underneath the open-tread stairway. Black granite countertops with white marbling reflected thin rays from the pendant lights. Dark, hardwood floors throughout might have encouraged a sense of gloom if not for the light flooding the space from all sides.
“This is absolutely incredible.”
Standing in the middle of the open space, he held his arms wide. “And this nearly concludes the tour. Over to the left, there’s a large office and a smaller den. There’s three bedrooms upstairs. I’ll grab your bags and bring them up before hauling in the food. You can freshen up while I put the edibles away.”
Curiosity urged her to explore, yet recent experiences confined her to the open area where she’d be seen. The sound of the front door closing echoed in the massive space. It made sense that Caden’s dark experience kept him from unpacking the boxes and turning off the lights, his subconscious warning him about the home’s seclusion.
In stepping to the rear glass wall, she took in the breathtaking view at the back of the property. A stone patio extended from one of the rear sliding doors with a hot tub tucked in the nook near the attached garage. Considering his appearance and innate charm, he probably had to schedule the stream of women waiting to spend the night.
Except he didn’t seem the snuggle-all-night type. In her mind’s eye, she could visualize invisible waves of pheromones wafting from his body but concentrated and focused when his gaze narrowed on his next target. “Wow. This really is a bachelor’s pad.”
“Yeah, I guess it needs a bit of a feminine touch to avoid looking like a modern cave.”
She hadn’t heard him return. “No, not at all. Just need to unpack the boxes. I don’t mind helping. It’s the least I can do.” Considering the number of cartons in her rental, she had to smile. At least it would keep her mind off the thugs who’d caged her like an animal.
“Sounds great.” A slight tightness around the corners of his mouth cast an unspoken doubt.
She followed him upstairs and stepped into the bedroom on the east side. The view from the balcony was every bit as gorgeous as the rest of the house.
Floor-to-ceiling windows framed the sloping land falling away from the house and could showcase the most beautiful sunrise she’d ever witness. Perhaps tomorrow morning she’d drink coffee while sitting on the veranda and take some photos of the sun cresting over the treetops.
“This okay?” A thread of uncertainty underlay his concern. “We’ll close the drapes now.” The crawl of a metal slide in its tracks merged the heavy fabric to shroud the room in cozy luxury.
“Wow. This is fabulous. I’ve never slept in a king-sized bed. It’s like your own personal island.”
Or adult playpen.
Had she murmured those last words aloud? Her failed filter conjured the mental image of her and Caden spooning after hours of screaming orgasms. “Oh God.”
His grin personified sexual athleticism, a taunt he probably didn’t realize was broadcast with indifference.
His deliberate ramble forward granted the rich, appetizing scent clinging to him to entice her to lean against him. Only the seriousness of his expression kept her lips from parting to draw in air through a restricted trachea. Slowly, he cupped her jaw, searching her face for—something.
“You’ve had a rough couple days. Give yourself a break.”
Only inches separated them and more than anything, she wanted to rise and touch his lips with her own, to absorb his heat, his passion. The unwelcome stirring both rankled and embarrassed while preventing her from meeting his gaze. She dropped her sight line to a safer zone, his chest.
The T-shirt stretched across the hard planes with each breath, outlining the thick bulges in his arms and expanding what she knew to be a perfectly solid wall of muscle. Each hard ridge defined in bold relief the form of his pecs, deltoids, and triceps. She nibbled her lower lip to contain the appreciative comments waiting to spill forth.
Without conscious thought, she found her hand resting lightly on the firm expanse while a slow curl of her fingers confirmed what the cotton couldn’t hide, large, solid, and perfect. One flex of her fingers deserved another for confirmation while adding to the growing heat between her thighs. The exquisite pulse of arousal throbbed in time with each rush of blood through her veins to integrate with the harmonic impressions bombarding her libido.
She’d read about the anticlimactic backwash of hormones after extreme stress that heightened sexual drive and blamed her attraction on her body’s natural responses. Her libido declared him addictive, like chocolate. Her inner voice likened him to a puffer fish with no known antidote.
With a quick shake of his head, he cleared his throat and dropped his hand, the warmth of his touch replaced by cool air. “The second bathroom is shared by the two spare bedrooms. It’s right across the hall.”
“I don’t mind sharing a bath with you. Oh, I—I
mean, I don’t mind sharing a bathroom with a—another.” Crap.
His grin betrayed the acceptance of his effect. “I know what you meant.” Taking a step back, he added, “If you’d like to freshen up, I’ll meet you in the kitchen and fix us something to eat. Any food allergies?”
“Sex.” Shit “No, I mean, soy. I have a slight allergy. It gives me an itch.” Heat engulfed her entire body. Clearing her throat was an excuse to cover a portion of her face. A light coat of perspiration dotted her brow. I’ve got an itch all right, and he knows it. “I think I took a solid hit to the noggin.”
“Well, that’s a relief. It’d be a shame for anyone to be allergic to sex.” The teasing smirk should’ve ticked off anyone with a shred of pride.
She melted. He probably ranked sex above food and water.
“I’ve got an idea for tomorrow afternoon if you feel up to it.”
Does it include a shovel and a very large hole in the ground?
If she survived this humiliation, she could take on the thugs single-handed. “Sure. I love surprises.”
When he turned to leave, she couldn’t help but admire the view completing the package, lean and strong, solid and sure. She could spend hours mapping the planes of his body with the play of light and shadow, purely from a photographer’s viewpoint. At ease with his erotic masculinity, he wouldn’t realize that compassion and a swoon-worthy protective streak rocketed him to demi-God status.
The classic cold shower would cool her body while her mind strayed to all the lovely male parts keeping her in a state of flux. She’d never thought of icy water as a cross-gender necessity and found that once in the spacious bathroom, she wouldn’t need one, at least for the length of her stay.
On the counter lay half-empty bottles of expensive shampoo and crème rinse. A quick look under the sink yielded an open box of tampons. For heavy flow. The icy mist forming around her heart thickened and solidified with the realization, she was there to stay safe. Lock down your granny panties, Kaylee. He’s not for you.
Bound By Shadows (The McAllister Justice Series Book 2) Page 9