Caden woke up to a warm body snuggled against him, soft and secure. The natural discomfort from the swelling against his fly presented an insignificant detail when compared to the peace and contentment insulating his soul. With his physical and spiritual forms at such odds, he had no choice but to forgo sleep in favor of holding her for the sheer pleasure of enjoying the new wonder. Several times, she stirred against him to adjust her position, each time squirming against his chest with a hand thrown over his heart or stomach. When her fingers drifted dangerously low, he gently repositioned them to a safer and less painful zone.
A glance at the digital clock in his kitchen warned him daybreak approached and the surreal interlude that animated his imagined, ephemeral connection would dissipate like morning mist. He snuggled her tighter. A brush of his lips over her hair imprinted her scent in his mind and on his heart. So naïve in many ways yet so strong, she embodied the warmth, humor, and character that called forth his baser instincts along with the need to keep her safe.
The arm slung across his waist began twitching before her body jerked at some subconscious threat. A low moan escaped her lips.
“Kaylee? Wake up, sweetheart.” Gently, he touched her shoulder before smoothing his hand down her arm. Confusion retreated from the depth of her lethargic response, her luscious emerald eyes widening as she straightened.
“Um, sorry?”
“That you’re human or that you’re normal.” Petting her hair, he snugged her tight with his other arm.
“I fell asleep.”
“Looks like we both did. But I won’t apologize. Wanna talk about it?”
“Not tonight. Can I go back to sleep—with you here?”
“Yeah. I’m comfortable too.” The immediate relaxation of her body against him seemed to settle something deep within them both. It wasn’t the first stirrings of infatuation or a tidal wave of lust that swept away rational thought. The soothing reassurance derived from like-minded individuals in sync rendered the atmosphere a zone of succor and serenity.
Nightmares were a natural process of recovering post trauma and would probably last for months if not years. Her pride in refusing to talk with a counselor reflected his own character after a man he’d considered his friend tried to kill him. Trust was an individual issue with each person, yet dark circumstances had formed a bond between them, a treasure he hadn’t thought he’d share with another for a long time to come. The kid he’d rescued years ago now restored a portion of his faith even as he helped her through her own trials.
Predawn light filtering through a gap between curtains warmed his face yet didn’t compare to the animated furnace in his arms. Sometime during the night, they’d both shifted until he lay flat out on his couch with Kaylee’s leg over his and her arm slung over his stomach. Warm, moist exhalations skating down his neck breathed life into a new future where he’d become the man he was meant to be.
Someone had marked Kaylee’s back with the proverbial X, and it was only a matter of time before the kidnapper figured out she lay her head over his heart.
At that moment, she rested against his chest, cozy and secure, but for how long? When she no longer needed his protection, what new direction would her life take? Fate already sent the memo about his transient life yielding nothing of significance for his time on Earth. Now he’d found a woman who understood him down to the visceral level, he wanted to explore the possibility of a sincere and honest relationship.
In his mind’s eye, Lucas chided him for breaking up the infamous McAllister duo known for competition in all things sexual.
“Hmm. So warm.”
Kaylee rubbed her forehead against his pecs, much like a cat before settling in to snuggle again. The kiln-worthy heat of her arm drifting down his abdomen stopped with his hand on her wrist. When he relocated it to his opposite shoulder, she let it drift to his neck before twining her fingertips in his hair.
Jeez. That’s so much better. The constant physical reminders that she was indeed a fully-grown woman had no place in their current relationship, but her fingers’ gentle swirling at his nape kept him in a state of arousal. Damn. Nothing had ever felt better. “It’s still early, go back to sleep, Gracie.”
He had no expectancy of closing his eyes, not with the soft bundle squirming against his side and the increasing discomfort against his jeans. If he hadn’t woken several moments ago, he might’ve powered through an intense release, something he hadn’t done in years. In his defense, no one controlled subconscious urgings.
“I can’t. Too comfortable,” she murmured against his neck. She practically purred with each stroke of her hair.
His little pirate had a soft side begging for exploration. The thought of ruining his one relationship with an unattached female, not an ex, reordered his thoughts to more acceptable activities.
Contemplating saner endeavors filled his mind and offered a more vertical worldview. His sister would be proud of his progress.
“You know, there’s a ton of trails crisscrossing through the woods. We should go hiking.” It was a factor of country living he’d once craved before facing his own mortality.
“You’re living in a strange sort of limbo, unable to move forward and unwilling to backtrack. But I’ve recently realized nothing in life is safe and secure. City life can be just as dangerous.” She lightly tapped her fingers against his shoulder for emphasis.
“If not for the peace derived from sitting on the patio during a quiet evening, I wouldn’t be sure which was the lesser of two evils.”
Silent examination of his life led to two conclusions. After he’d resolved the threat to Kaylee and faced his own demons, he wanted what his parents enjoyed, a strong marriage, half a dozen kids and all the complications involved in raising them.
Already he could imagine his brothers’ mocking comments but understood that an emotional bridge with a woman didn’t make a man weak. On the contrary, observing Ethan and Lexi’s bond, he realized they were stronger for it, not fragile as he’d once suspected. Each possessed qualities that when combined, formed something greater than their respective halves, a unique entity that presented a solidified wall against any challenge. Ethan and Lexi reminded him of a living contradiction, so different yet each supporting the other. It was their differences that locked them together.
“Caden, did you think Ciera was the one?”
“Hmm, at one time, I wasn’t sure. I just knew she was different.”
Was it the shared bond that wrapped Kaylee’s essence around his chest and squeezed? She was the first non-McAllister woman to spend the night in his home. The fact he wanted to spend every night like this gave him pause. He had to remind himself she saw him as a security blanket, protection against a deadly threat. Despite his family’s label as man-whore, he’d never been one to take advantage of a woman. He wouldn’t start now.
Chapter Fourteen
Waking up snuggled against Caden’s warmth with his fingers lightly stroking the length of her spine embodied everything warm, secure, and exciting as hell. She’d never again look at the couch as a mere piece of furniture. A long, slow inhale conveyed his woodsy, clean scent straight to her stirring libido to conjure images of them woven together in the age-old dance. With her arm draped over his chest and her leg resting atop his, she imitated a vine, wrapping around that which gave sustenance, if only for the soul.
“Morning.” Her murmured greeting came out on a sigh. The steadily increasing beat of his heart rate under her fingers told her that his body stirred along with his mind. Instead of embarrassment, a profound satisfaction mingled with myriad tiny charges and heightened every sense. Very slowly, she flexed her fingers against the smattering of hair on his upper sternum, wanting to feel the first rumblings of morning vibrate under her touch.
“Morning. You get any sleep?” The deep rasp of his voice matched the heavy-lidded stare which accompanied a man accustomed to a robust morning appetite.
From his own special food group.
&n
bsp; The slow glide of ephemeral fingers down and around her heating flesh kindled a dormant craving while his breath stirred her hair. Her full-body shudder instigated from the friction of her breasts rubbing against his solid wall of muscle elicited a soft moan. Underneath her hand, the deep rumble throbbing against her fingertips answered her primal urge to further their relationship. “Actually, quite well. You?”
“Pretty good. Right now, I’m hungry. How about I fix us breakfast?” The lazy drift of his fingers through her hair belied his desire to move.
“Breakfast sounds great.” Try as she might, she couldn’t reconcile the current sincerity and contented state with a skirt-chasing hound. Deep down, disappointment reigned when thinking others before her had enjoyed the same pleasure. Closing her eyes, she ducked her head as a heavy sigh escaped.
The gentle touch of his knuckle under her chin lifted her gaze to meet his stare. Within the indigo depths, his perceptiveness and compassion ruled the same hunger that gnawed at her belly.
“You’re not ready, pirate.”
“Wh—what?”
“I know you feel this connection, too. But you need time. And I’m not looking for a fling.”
“You’re not? But you—”
“Don’t judge me by my past. I’m different now. Just like you.”
Understanding on an elemental level came with the burning stroke of his finger down the bridge of her nose, across her cheek, and along her jaw. He wanted more than a casual alliance. She’d learned all too well in the random flings after Reese’s death and her boyfriend’s abandonment that sex as a stepping stone plunged the abuser into deep water.
“Does that go for you too? That you won’t judge me?”
Parted lips and a frown accompanied the tilt of his head. “I wouldn’t judge you. Regardless.”
But you don’t know what I’ve done.
“When Reese died on that snowy Pennsylvania interstate. My world imploded.” Anguish and despair, the backlash of her grief, had cost her not only a large swath of dignity and mental stability but also her first solid relationship. “Then, grief pushed my boyfriend to arm’s length. When I found his undeleted texts to another girl, I kinda cut loose, in every way imaginable.” If not for the loving support of her parents, she would have done much more than six months of frequent, casual hookups. “It took me a while to get straight.”
“I see vague uncertainty in your eyes. You’ll see in time that I don’t judge others. But right now, you’re vulnerable, and I’ll be damned if I’ll take advantage.”
“You want me?”
“You know I do. But this isn’t the time. You’re still in pain, still shook up over recent events, and still mourning your brother’s death. You need time to clear your head.”
“We were going to move out here and work together.”
“A vet and a photographer. Nice combination.”
“Until I met you, I hadn’t talked about him.”
“Maybe it’s time. I’m a good listener.”
“You are that, and I appreciate it.”
“C’mon, let’s grab a bite to eat, and you can tell me about your post-graduation plan.”
It wasn’t until she’d padded into the kitchen she realized how he’d steered her frustrated intentions into a healthier outlet. Conversation. Talking with Caden came naturally and surrounded her spirit with peace.
“I thought you couldn’t cook.” Watching him helped further change the direction of her thoughts. Brisk, no-nonsense efficiency saw him whisking eggs and cooking bacon like a seasoned chef. She set the table and poured their drinks. All the while, he continued to draw out particular aspects of her soul’s clone she hadn’t thought about in years.
“Breakfast. PB&J, and anything grilled, I can do.” He hesitated before continuing, “Tell me more about him.”
“Reese and I were really close. I guess it was a twin thing. The night he died, I felt it, a hundred miles away. Several minutes after he crashed, he called me, before EMS arrived. When his voice drifted off, it felt like something was crushing my chest. The last words he whispered, ‘I love you,’ still echoes in my mind.” Long-awaited tears dotted her shirt and mingled with her hair. All these months, she’d held back the flood, afraid the rip current of grief would tow her under with a force she’d be unable to overcome.
“Jesus, Kaylee. That kind of pain would destroy anyone’s world.” Removing the skillet of eggs from the cooktop, he wrapped his arms around her shoulders, holding her tight and stroking her back.
For long moments, she stood there, locked to him, absorbing his strength and regaining her equilibrium. Quiet tears washed her face. “Dad arrived at an accident scene to find his son crushed, the last of his strength used to comfort me.”
“I can’t even imagine what that would feel like.”
“For months afterward, when I finally got on my feet, I was kind of a wild child.”
“Ah, grief takes many forms. Don’t be hard on yourself. The important thing is to come out whole on the other side.”
“I still feel lost—in a fog.”
“You haven’t talked about that night before, have you?”
“No. Only Dad knows everything that happened.”
“Jesus.”
When her tears dried, Caden guided her to sit at the counter while he prepared the plates then sat beside her.
“I don’t remember too much about him.” Sincerity and compassion radiated from a sad smile.
For the first time since the accident, she spoke of the bond that characterized their relationship. When Caden recounted some of his own stunts with his siblings, it dawned on her how much they had in common.
“I think I’m ready to call my parents now.” Though she didn’t know how to broach the subjects of both of her recent assaults and Reese’s death, she knew the words would come.
Initially, they freaked. Kaylee took a deep breath then explained the steps she’d taken to stay out of the kidnapper’s clutches. “Dad, you don’t need to fly out here, and I don’t need to come home. I’m fine. I’m safe. I’ve even met old friends. You remember the McAllister brothers?” The last seemed to upset them the most. Handing the phone to Caden was the only way to help her dad settle down.
The ensuing conversation included a lot of “Yes, sirs,” and explanations of the McAllister family dynamics along with his assurance to keep her safe. When Caden handed the phone back, it equated to passing the nuclear football.
“See, Dad? I told you he’s all right.” The promise from Caden to provide frequent updates had altered their intention of immediately flying out. Chastisement over not informing them sooner had devolved into her mother’s tears, her fear creating a tidal wave of emotion in dredging up old pain.
When she disconnected the call, a deep sigh fanned a lock of hair from her eyes. Catharsis came in many forms and varied ways. She knew this from a well-rounded slice of life but never expected to feel it so personally. “I need to feel the sun on my face, walk through a crowded restaurant, take some pictures, move forward the way Reese would’ve wanted.” If she smiled enough, perhaps eventually, the vague enthusiasm would penetrate bone deep. “So. What’s on today’s agenda?”
“If you’d like to leave the legwork to my brothers, we can go hiking.”
“No. There’ll be time for that later. I need to face this mess head-on.”
“Okay. Once we’re cleaned up, we’ll go speak with Ciera’s parents and brother. Since they’ve asked me to see this through, I need to start at the beginning. After that, we’ll talk to her husband before we retrace your steps using your photos as reference.”
So much for normal.
Chapter Fifteen
Caden hesitated before opening the passenger door for Kaylee. “If you’d rather not go—” He didn’t want to subject her to more pain yet didn’t want to leave her with one of his brothers.
“I’m in this up to my neck. ’Sides, I’m safer with you.”
Morning sunshine f
iltering through budding oaks diffused the night’s lingering doubts concerning his capability. No one would get to his charge. The fact his instincts had led him to her door in the middle of the night demonstrated his hunches were on target.
Rounding the hood gave him a minute to compose his answer. When seated, he hesitated before turning the key in the ignition. “Wariness is good until it hinders forward motion. We’ll track them down, pirate. Don’t worry.”
“I don’t doubt we’ll find them if they don’t find me first.” The winding blacktop ribbon bisected the woods while the extended canopy overhead imparted stroboscopic light to reflect off the gear shift and into her face. With her spare camera nestled in her lap, she studied the play of light and shadow among the budding leaves and snarled briars. Wooded surrounds yielded to farmland and rolling hills to create pastoral views worthy of framing.
“To become completely invisible and go off grid, we’d have to make a ton of changes, which is easily enough done—but I don’t think it’s necessary. We’ll have enough information to find them. We just need the time.”
She snorted before explaining, “Sorry, the absurdity of you becoming invisible is ludicrous.”
“Hey, people change, grow. You used to be this tenacious, obnoxious kid. Look at you now.” He didn’t get the chance to finish.
“With your looks, I initially figured you for a sports car kind of guy, not an SUV. But this fits you.” Her gaze slid to the surrounding countryside, orchards that would bear a variety of apples, pears, and nuts, their first green leafy buds unfurling in the spring sunshine.
“Book, meet cover.” He blew out a breath before adding. “In years past, you could’ve seen me flying low in a convertible, before I realized what I wanted out of life, realized what’s important.”
“Do you think she’s still alive?” A note of finality infused her voice.
He understood but didn’t want to whisper encouragement to fate’s darker side. “I pray she’s not only alive but hasn’t been further harmed. Either way, you couldn’t have altered her course.” Reaching over the console, he linked their fingers and gave hers a light squeeze. “I’m going to introduce you as my assistant in training so they won’t hammer you with questions. Okay?”
Bound By Shadows (The McAllister Justice Series Book 2) Page 12