Is she getting closer to me … or am I going to her?
He wanted to look at Gabby for reassurance, but he couldn’t move.
It seemed to Lucas that the conversation was growing faint. The words spoken between Gabby and Phillip became muffled, like he was hearing them through an unseen wall.
Like it’s taking place in another room entirely.
He could still see Gabby in his periphery, though. Time seemed to have slowed, but he couldn’t reconcile why he thought so.
Lucas’s thoughts about the strange feelings began to lessen as his mind drifted further away from Gabby and the male Elders. He had become almost entirely oblivious to everyone and everything but the female vampire when he thought he heard his name spoken. It was the voice of his angel—a voice that, even with the intense power the vampire had over him, he was unable to ignore.
“Lucas!” she said again in a tone somehow urgent and controlled at the same time. “Tessa …” Gabby said in a much deeper, imposing tone than he’d ever heard, “this will be the only warning you’ll receive from me—I assure you.”
Lucas felt control return to him instantly. As the room and everyone in it crashed into place, he gulped in air, realizing he hadn’t taken a breath for some time. Lucas snapped a bewildered, terrified look in Gabby’s direction.
The Elders simply sat, just as they had been, with the same pompous expressions they’d had for the entirety of the meeting.
“I’ve taken up enough of your time. Thank you for your information and for any you can supply me with in the future.” Gabby began to stand, and as she did, she placed her hand behind Lucas’s elbow to signal him to do the same. Lucas did as she wanted but thought the gesture was also to help steady him as he stood. He was grateful. His mind was still thick with fog, and he felt almost drunk as they walked back toward the huge wood doors they’d entered through.
He could have sworn he heard the Elders snicker darkly, but when he turned to look at them one more time, he saw only faces carved in snobbery. As Lucas looked back, he noticed Phillip walking close behind them. Phillip closed his eyes, made an exaggerated sniffing motion with his head, and smiled—showing his perfect human white teeth.
How do their fangs come out?
“Gabrielle …” Phillip said, “it’s puzzling. I know your scent well. Even in this form you’ve taken, I would have known it was you. Lucas’s is new but distinct. Unlike any … human’s I’ve ever encountered.” He was walking next to Gabby, now. “Why is it I smell his scent so … heavily on you?” he asked as he moved his hand next to her neck, wafting her scent through the air toward his nose—his focus was where Lucas had been kissing her prior to arriving. Phillip’s nostrils flared as he drew in a deep breath. He turned and smiled a knowing smile at Lucas, who felt his cheeks warm.
“I see,” he said, with a great deal of self-satisfaction, knowing his presumptions were correct by the scarlet color Lucas knew was rising in his face. The Angel of Karma was involved with a human—a human he could kill freely if he chose. He continued to speak; however, he turned his attention back to Gabby. “You … like this human, Gabrielle,” he said with more than a little innuendo in his tone. Gabby remained unaffected by his insinuation. “This is unexpected. And very intriguing, I must say.”
“Must you?” she retorted. “I must say that it’s really none of your concern. Phillip, I have been more than patient and understanding of your condition since I am the one who brought a human here. I know what I’ve done tests you. But after what Tessa just did,” Gabrielle paused as she glared in Tessa’s direction, “don’t push me. I’ve had a really annoying streak of bad karma to deal with lately.” She met Phillip’s gaze. “I’m sure you can imagine what that means for all of you if you cross me.”
Gabby’s response shut down Phillip thoroughly, and they all walked quietly until they reached the large entry area. The Elders stopped, decidedly, as if they’d rehearsed it a hundred times.
“As I’m sure you’ll understand, Gabrielle.” Phillip’s eyes shifted quickly to the front door and back to Gabby. “We won’t be accompanying you the rest of the way to the door.”
Lucas looked toward the massive windows on either side of the front doors, mostly to keep from looking at any of them again. The front of the house faced westward, and bars of sunlight now stretched deep into the room. He hadn’t noticed the sun’s rays penetrating the rooms earlier.
We must have been here much longer than I thought.
This added to the confusion he already felt and to the overwhelming sense of being completely defenseless. If it hadn’t been for Gabby …
How am I ever going to protect myself, or my family, against them in an attack?
“Of course.” She stopped and turned to their hosts. “I will see you again.”
“Very well. Until then,” he heard Phillip say in response.
The Elders all bowed their heads to Gabby, once again at the same time, as if she was royalty. The way Lucas had seen her handle the Elders, and their obvious respectful fear of her, had affected him. He was falling in love with her; of that, he knew. But now, he was in awe of her. This angel, who looked like a teenage girl, was absolute.
And absolutely out of my league.
What could she see in him? What would make her want him? There was nothing his mind could come up with.
Gabby’s hand was still gently, but firmly, holding his elbow to make sure he was close to her. As they made their way to the door, all Lucas could focus on were his new truths …
His mortality had never been so glaringly real.
His weakness had never been more painfully obvious.
And his new reality was filled with dangerous creatures and a Darkness he didn’t know if he’d ever understand.
Or survive.
Lucas thought he heard a faint whisper, a hiss, as they were about to step into the fresh air—into freedom, knowing true freedom was something he would never feel again. His world had changed. His life would never be the same. What time was left of his life would be spent with the knowledge that he was hunted—that he had fallen a notch on the food chain.
As thoughts about the future he faced became more worrisome, the hissing whisper grew and was joined by other voices, all male except for one. They spoke to him of hunger and pain, of a thirst for blood that was an agonizing craving. The whispers became so frantic they ran together, a jumble of sounds he couldn’t decipher, until the noise stopped and his mind went abruptly silent. The respite was a brief one, though, as Tessa’s voice broke through—lone, and chillingly clear.
‘I’ll enjoy seeing you again, Lucas. One day when you are alone. One day very, very soon.’
Then the sound of maniacal snickers filled his head.
CHAPTER FIFTY-ONE
LUCAS ~ ANYTHING THAT HELPS
Gabrielle and Lucas remained silent, and neither made a motion to touch the other until well after they’d left the city limits of Oxford. Lucas found no need to take in the scenery this time as he looked out his window—seeing nothing more than a blur of colors racing into his past. His former reality. His enthusiasm for the beautiful place they’d driven into had faded. Now, it was foreboding.
Lucas felt so safe because of Gabby before meeting the Elders, and even though she was there protecting him, he couldn’t shake the feeling of complete helplessness he’d had since the vampires entered that room. He knew if he ever had another encounter with any vampire, he would need to be much better prepared. He shuddered at the possibility. Gabrielle seemed to recognize his trepidation and gently placed her hand on his. Lucas didn’t turn to her. He was afraid if he looked in her eyes, he would see something different in them. Maybe disappointment, or shame, because of the weakness he’d exhibited.
“Lucas,” she said softly, which made him feel that she thought he was even more fragile than he’d imagined. “Lucas, talk to me, please.”
Talk to her … what am I supposed to say?
All Lucas coul
d think about was how weak he was. There was absolutely nothing he could have done back at the manor to defend himself. Even if he had only one vampire to deal with, he couldn’t see how he could have escaped with his life.
“Lucas.” Her tone was demanding this time.
“Yes, Gabby,” Lucas replied, defeated. He continued to look out the window, avoiding her eyes.
“Lucas … will you please look at me?”
He heard desperation in her voice. The last thing he wanted to do was upset her more than she already was. Slowly, he turned his eyes to hers. What he saw in them was unexpected and more than he felt he deserved. Her eyes held nothing for him but compassion, more than he ever thought could be expressed in a simple look. It was breathtaking to see the love she had for him—her eyes telling him everything she hadn’t spoken about her feelings. It was so powerful it was almost crushing.
For the second time today, she pulled off the road. This time it was controlled, not prompted by the terror she felt for his safety. This time, she put the car in park and turned to face him.
“What is it, Lucas? Please tell me what’s on your mind.” Her voice was gently insistent.
“I don’t even know how to start.” His voice was barely audible.
“I know what happened back there had to be pretty tough on you. I tried to warn you how profound the effect would be, to try to get you to reconsider.”
“I know you did. But … it was more than the effect they had on me. That was unnerving, to put it mildly. What I found more profound and awesome … was you,” he responded as he raised her hand to his lips, and, more gently than he ever had, kissed the back of it and closed his eyes.
“I didn’t do anything but talk to the Elders. Well … and keep them from sucking you dry. Which, by the way, you’ll be forever indebted to me for that one.”
She was trying to lift his mood, but it wasn’t working.
He sighed deeply. “That’s just it. Your idea of not doing anything is more than I could ever imagine doing as a human. Like you’ve already said … I’m not your equal. I never will be.”
Gabrielle’s brows pulled together. She seemed to be dissecting what he was saying, trying to find the direction he was taking the conversation.
Lucas continued, his words flowing faster and his voice becoming gloomier. “Gabby, how long will it be before you get bored with me? Before you realize what I just did … that I can offer you nothing? I’m just a human.”
Gabrielle’s face quickly rearranged into a combination of shock and pain. When she answered, her voice was calm but hinted at the hurt his words unintentionally caused.
“Why would you think that, Lucas?”
Lucas lowered his head.
“What am I going to do with you?” She asked as frustration seeped in. “Honestly, do you think I would even consider risking all I am if I wasn’t completely, and totally, in love with you? You want to know just one thing you give me that Javan—an angel—was never able to in all the time we were together?”
Lucas looked back up at her, curiosity getting the better of him, as he wondered what he could possibly give her that Javan couldn’t.
Gabrielle’s voice and eyes became tender again.
“Lucas, in the thousands of years I was with Javan, he never brought peace to me the way you do. At first, I thought it was my imagination. But now that I’ve been with you, even when my lot of karma is mostly bad, somehow having you near calms my mood. Just in that one way … I am in awe of you.” A flirty, crooked smile curved her mouth. “And don’t even get me started on how you make me feel when you touch me.”
Lucas finally smiled and laughed lightly. “So, I make you feel pretty good, huh?”
She moved her mouth close to his. “Amazing,” she whispered and gently kissed his lips. She pulled back ever so slightly and looked deeply into his eyes. He knew she meant every word that followed.
“Lucas, I don’t believe I would ever be happy again without you. Don’t ever think I would tire of you; it simply isn’t possible.” She spoke to him in such a soothing voice his concerns vanished.
My angel. He thought as he closed the short distance she’d put between them.
The remainder of their stay in London was quiet and uneventful. Gabby thought it would be best to stay in that evening, stating they’d have to get up early for their flight anyway, but he knew it was for safety.
Lucas found the sleeping arrangements to be a little more troublesome than Gabby had—she was only dealing with human desires and emotions. Her angelic conscience seemed to help keep her on the straight and narrow better than he was able to. He found himself tempted by her body snuggled up to him more than once, and they finally decided they would sleep back to back so he could do a better job of keeping his hands from wandering.
Each time sleep finally crept over Lucas, he had nightmares of fangs and red eyes coming at him from all sides—and from above. He would sit up abruptly, jolted out of his sleep, just before a set of those red eyes disappeared past his face as they moved toward the exposed skin of his neck—his eyes wide from both the horror of the image remaining in his mind and the relief of the realization it was a dream. Gabby was there every time, trying to calm his erratic, heavy breathing—concern for him clearly readable on her face.
I’m so stupid not to have listened to her. Lucas scolded himself over, and over, each time he’d woken up. He continued to scold himself until he fell back to sleep only to repeat the scenario several more times.
Now that they were back in Nashville and driving home from the airport, Lucas found he was more aware of his surroundings than he had ever been—the after effects of his newly found respect for a vampire’s powers.
Gabby explained more to him about what he could do to stay safe. It all seemed pretty simple. Stay in public situations as much as possible, keep holy water handy, wear the cross she was going to give him, and his favorite, spend as much time with her as he could. The last one was something he looked forward to. Lucas watched Gabby as she drove, lost in thoughts of her own.
I wonder what she’s thinking about.
He still felt the way he did after they left the Elder’s house in Oxford—like he would never deserve the love Gabby so willingly gave to him. But he would have to deal with it because he wasn’t going to leave her. He couldn’t even bear the thought. Lucas shook his head slightly and closed his eyes, then reopened them, almost expecting to be pulled out of the dream he thought he must be immersed in. She was still there, though. Thankfully. How could he feel that way about someone he’d known for only a little over a month? He knew most people would think he was insane, but he couldn’t deny his feelings for her. He knew he wanted nothing but her as soon as he looked into her green eyes that first day and was almost shocked when he was actually able to speak to her, feeling like he had a complete loss of his faculties the moment he heard her voice.
She mesmerized me from the beginning.
The first time he kissed her, what was supposed to be a quick stolen moment, turned into something he still wouldn’t be able to describe even if he wanted to, which he didn’t. What he and Gabby experienced together seemed somehow fated. What he felt the moment their lips touched for the first time, and every time they’ve kissed since, sent a feeling through him that was more pleasurable than anything he’d ever imagined. He smiled with the knowledge that, somehow, she felt the same. As he looked at her, Gabby seemed to mentally return to the car and glanced at him, released by whatever thoughts that held her captive for several miles. A simple smile curved the corners of her mouth.
“What’s the dreamy look about?” she asked.
Lucas squeezed her hand and shook his head, then looked back toward the road. He was happy when she did the same, hoping she wouldn’t pursue an answer to her question. He was a little embarrassed to be caught looking at her that way, imagining he must have appeared just as young as he was. She deserved so much more than a human who was just becoming a man.
I hate feeling so beneath her.
He found his thoughts wandering to Javan. How could he have ever left her? Lucas would never understand what Javan had done. Surely, he knew he would lose her forever in his act of betrayal toward God. Surely, he knew it was a direct betrayal of Gabby, as well. What would motivate him to want to lose the company of two Divine beings? One the most Divine of all.
He closed his eyes and let his head fall back slowly to meet the support of the seat’s headrest, not liking the thoughts beginning to intrude. Thoughts of, one day, having absolutely no say in whether or not he and Gabby stayed together. There was a much higher power involved in the decision about their future. Someone he had no way to fight. There was also her loyalty to her angelic life—and job. Her responsibility as The Angel of Karma wasn’t something she could easily walk away from.
And who am I to ask her to, anyway?
An even more troublesome question for Lucas was, would she choose to stay with him if she was given the choice? Would she regret it later if she did?
Gabby choosing him was nothing more than a dream that would disintegrate if the edges of its illusion were pulled too hard. He knew he needed to just enjoy her while he had her and face the fallout of her leaving him later—which she would.
She’d have to.
There wasn’t another logical destination for the road they were on. She knew their fate as well as he did and chose to move forward as he had—like the inevitable could be changed. False hope wasn’t good, but it was fantastic to be together, feeling the things they felt. But after she left, there’d never be any hope of finding the kind of passion or connection they had together.
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