CHAPTER FIFTY-FOUR
GABRIELLE ~ DAMAGE CONTROL
As Gabrielle scanned Tennessee for Qalal, she found her thoughts drifting back to Lucas, wondering how she could keep him safe from the predators that would surely come for him—as well as what would happen if they achieved their goal. There were only two outcomes: death and—something far worse—becoming one of them.
Gabrielle imagined there’d be more than a few who would like to take the opportunity to not only justifiably take a human’s life but the life of someone she cared about—an act of revenge against Yahuwah and her. They would know how much Lucas meant to her. Phillip smelling Lucas’s scent so heavily on her body assured that, and it was something she hadn’t thought of when agreeing to allow him to go with her into their haven.
The missteps she was making in her human form had already put Lucas in danger, maybe mortal danger. She knew the best thing would be to leave. She could still protect him, but she would be able to keep human emotions and desires from putting him at further risk. She just didn’t know how to do it.
Gabrielle sighed out of frustration.
I’ll hurt him no matter which decision I make … either through errors made while I’m with him, or through leaving him.
‘Hey, sister.’
Gabrielle turned and smiled at Phalen as she drifted toward her in the night sky. The outline of her form was distorted by the mirror-effect illusion of the stars she used for concealment. The only reason Gabrielle could see her companion at all was because of her energy signature.
‘Thanks for coming.’
‘How could I say no to you? You attract adventure and trouble, and you know I’m not one to pass up on an adventure … or trouble.’
‘Let’s hope there’s no trouble tonight, and I am not up for an adventure.’
‘Okay. What do you need?’
‘First, I need to know how Grayson and Rissie are doing. Then, just an ear, really. I didn’t count on all these complications when I decided to live with humans, and I need someone other than Amaziah to talk to,’ Gabrielle replied.
Phalen told her their Shifter friends were healing slowly but doing a little better every day. Gabrielle still didn’t feel the reassurance she was hoping for, though; she wouldn’t until she saw them with her own eyes. After filling Phalen in on the last several days, the questions began to pour out of Gabrielle, almost without control.
‘Am I doing the right thing? Would I have come to the same decision if I knew what the result would be? Even if it turns out that Lucas will remain unharmed and we are worrying over nothing, he would never have had the concern to begin with if he hadn’t met me. What would he have wanted? Would he choose to keep things as they are, meeting and falling for me? Or go back to his life as it was before, safe from all that he now fears? Never knowing I exist?’
Gabrielle paused briefly, then proceeded to tell Phalen more of her worries.
‘I can’t use my ability to make him forget me because he’d still be in danger. Since that skill only works on humans, the Qalal will still remember they are free to kill him. They’ll feel they are within their right to do so until word gets to them that his memory of their existence has been erased. That’s time I can’t risk, and they can always claim they never heard.
‘If I do decide to leave him, it’ll be better to do it before either of us becomes more attached. I am already so thoroughly connected to him though, I feel like we are meant to be together. Which brings up another quandary altogether. What if everything that’s happened is the way it’s supposed to be? What if Yahuwah intended for me to be with him for some reason that would justify putting him in mortal danger?’
She couldn’t know for sure if all of this was what Yahuwah wanted and had planned, but she did feel she and Lucas were supposed to be in each other’s lives regardless of how unrealistic the hope that they would remain together was. Gabrielle couldn’t imagine giving up her life as an angel any more than she could imagine giving up Lucas—either sacrifice would be heart wrenching.
She left those thoughts behind as she and Phalen headed east toward the Appalachian Mountains. The further east she went, the more Qalal signatures she encountered. Phalen remained silent. They were almost to Knoxville, the sweep of Tennessee close to being over, when her thoughts diverted to another who had once been important to her—Javan.
She was still shaken from her encounter with him on Saturday night, and this was the first time she’d thought deeply about it. Javan was so different now.
Or was he?
He’d always been charismatic. Maybe he’d been delusional the entire time she’d been with him. Only she couldn’t see it. By nature, angels don’t doubt their brethren, so maybe she’d been fooled. But if that’s the case, why did Yahuwah choose Javan for her? Why did he match her with someone who would hurt her so terribly?
Gabrielle shook her head, wanting to think about something that took her away from questioning His decisions, but the thoughts about Javan persisted. He’d said he wanted to be the most powerful being—to have all others worship him.
‘You know,’ Gabrielle said, breaking the silence, ‘it’s pretty apparent that Javan is after the Book, but how he thinks he will be able to get to Yahuwah’s throne is what I can’t figure out. The Fallen can’t ascend back into Heaven.’
‘But,’ Phalen responded, almost startling Gabrielle because she had been silent for so long, ‘if that’s the case, how did they do it in the battle that happened thousands of years ago? You told me that Sheridan said it reached the level of the Seraphim, and they are the closest to Yahuwah and His throne.’
‘True. I’ll have to ask Amaziah when I speak to him. See what you can find out, too. Regardless, Javan seems to be well informed about the Book, more so than most angels.’
‘Maybe he doesn’t have all the information.’ Phalen offered. ‘Maybe he doesn’t have things worked out as well as he thinks.’
‘I hope that’s the case, and it isn’t me that knows less than Javan.’
It had been far too long since Gabrielle had spoken to Amaziah. She’d been trying not to interrupt him, but too much had transpired, and she needed to catch him up. When she got back to Lucas’s house, she would ascend while he slept. That way, he would feel safe and wouldn’t know she was away.
One state down, eight to go.
She counted two hundred and forty-two Qalal, divided between covens in Memphis, Nashville, Chattanooga, and Knoxville, and lone Qalal scattered throughout the state.
‘Two hundred and forty-two … just in this state,’ Gabrielle communicated absently.
‘Did you expect so many?’
‘No, but at least I have some idea, now.’
‘Yeah … that whole knowledge is power thing, huh?’
‘Maybe for us, but not so much for Lucas.’ Gabrielle let out the mental equivalent of a clenched-jaw scream. ‘This is so frustrating! I don’t know how to fix this, Phalen. I don’t know how to fix it.’
‘So, don’t try.’
‘What do you mean?’
Phalen laughed. ‘I mean it literally. Don’t try. You can’t really fix anything at this point. Now, unfortunately, you need to be focused on damage control. I hate to be unable to offer up a better option, but you know it’s the only thing you can do.’
Gabrielle did know, but hearing Phalen voice it helped her to let go of a little of her guilt. Not because she wasn’t guilty of screwing things up pretty badly, but because it didn’t help her, Lucas, or anyone else if she carried the burden around all the time.
‘I do know. Thanks for listening, Phalen. And,’ Gabrielle sighed, ‘sorry for laying so much on you.’
Phalen’s laughter filled her mind again. ‘No worries, sister. Even you need to have someone to talk to. All the power and abilities in the world aren’t enough to overcome self-doubt and regrets. And no one angel, or person, can do this thing called living all alone. Besides, I didn’t really do anything.’
N
ow it was Gabrielle who laughed. ‘Sure you did. You were there when I needed someone. That’s not something that happens often for me.’
‘Only because you haven’t let it.’ Phalen paused. ‘Gabrielle, stop making yourself stand alone all the time. I, for one, will always stand with you. Always.’
‘Thank you, Phalen. I believe you. Now … go back to Grayson and Rissie. Give them my love, and tell them I will be visiting Corstorphine to see how they’re doing for myself as soon as I can get away for a day.’
‘I will. I can’t wait to get back, actually. I like it there. Maybe more than I should.’
And then she was gone.
Gabrielle wondered just how much Phalen liked it there and what—who—might be the cause of her affinity for the Shifter’s realm. A smile spread across her face as she manifested in her human body at her home as she hoped the reason was what she imagined.
She took only enough time to shower and change clothes. After pulling a brush through her hair and putting on a little lip gloss and mascara, she was back out the door. She was anxious to see Lucas, to be near him, to feel his touch on her skin and the heat it sent through her body. It was surreal. She felt more for him than she ever felt for Javan. She would never have imagined a stronger attachment could exist, but that’s what was happening.
Maybe it’s intensified because of my additional human emotions and senses.
Gabrielle had been able to feel emotion and connection with Javan. But with Lucas, she could taste, smell, and physically feel him. Those were things she wasn’t capable of without a physical body to use a nose, mouth, or skin. She loved these sensations. It made her crave him, like she could never get enough of him even if they could be together for hundreds, or thousands, of years. Gabrielle felt the weight of sorrow come over her. They wouldn’t have anything close to that amount of time. The reality was that one day, even if they stayed together through his natural life, he’d die and become a spirit. Hopefully, in Heaven. But angels and human souls don’t interact in Heaven, for the most part. Existence after death was different from the angels that serve Yahuwah.
There was a chance Yahuwah could make him an angel—if she asked and it was what Lucas wanted. But the chance wasn’t great. He didn’t grant Divinity casually.
She pulled onto Haber Drive a little after nine o’clock. She’d accomplished what she wanted to do quickly. As she came to a stop in front of his house, he was already coming down the steps. A huge smile told her he was doing okay. Gabrielle’s heart skipped a beat; the flutters in her stomach followed. She felt a grin move across her face. She had just enough time to get out of the car and close the door before he scooped her up in a huge hug. Her feet left the ground as he spun them both in a circle, burying his face into her neck by her ear. She could hear him breathe heavy and long—breathing in her scent.
He enjoys all the sensations, too.
He placed her back on the ground, but she still felt as if she were spinning. Lucas held her face between his hands and began to kiss her softly, then his pressure and urgency increased. She matched his intensity, tracing his lips lightly with her finger as they calmed themselves.
He spoke but continued to kiss different areas of her face whenever he broke up his sentence. “I hate when you are more than a foot away from me.”
Gabrielle looked at him for a long moment, enjoying having his body next to hers again. Then, she kissed him slowly and gently.
“Me, too,” she whispered.
Lucas began to move her side to side as he hummed softly, beginning an easy slow-dance as cars passed on the street and the stars moved overhead. They stayed like that for what seemed like an immeasurable amount of time just smelling, tasting, touching, seeing, and listening to each other.
Just dancing.
Savoring the other as if both knew being together wouldn’t—couldn’t—last.
CHAPTER FIFTY-FIVE
JAVAN ~ PEOPLE HATERS
Javan paced in front of the massive windows of the great room in his loft—like a lion in a zoo, coveting the prey just beyond the reach of its claws and teeth. Javan knew it would be hard to get to Lucas with Gabrielle involved, but there would be an opportunity. He just had to be patient, and when it presented itself, he’d be ready.
He hadn’t slept for two nights. Not since realizing he’d most likely failed to eliminate Mason Hunt’s bloodline—that the baby may have somehow survived his attack. And that the baby could be Lucas.
Shadows were beginning to overtake the light of day, bringing the city into the dark fold of night. It would bring something just as dark, but entirely different, for Javan.
Cecily.
He was expecting to see her since she’d said she’d come back in three nights. In truth, he was yearning for her, hoping to enjoy another long night taking pleasure in each other after they finished their business. Mara hadn’t seen the visual snitch dappling his body that remained from Cecily’s last visit—fading bruises in shades of yellows and browns. Mara hadn’t been trying to get him into bed, not with the mood he’d been in. He had her busy enough to keep her away for at least tonight, but his demeanor alone would have done that even if he didn’t have her playing private eye.
He stopped pacing long enough to open the door to his terrace, letting in the night air that told the tale of fall with its lower humidity and chill. The breeze felt good against his face, almost calming, as it brought forth a memory in his mind. He closed his eyes and let it take him back to a time he’d spent with Gabrielle—in human form. It was very brief and only once.
He and Gabrielle had spent an entire day and most of the evening walking, running, swimming, standing at the edge of the waves to let them gently bathe their feet, and coupling until she had to ascend. It was like nothing he’d experienced before, and it was the first time he considered the possibility of him and Gabrielle doing whatever they want. It was where the seed to be free of Yahuwah had been planted.
I just don’t know how to get Gabrielle to see things my way.
The breeze coming through the doorway was now moving over his skin in much the same way he remembered it coming off the ocean as they watched the sun bid farewell to another day. The air cooled just enough to make them miss the heat the sun had lent, so they used each other to warm themselves. He could feel his body reacting to the memory of the sensuality he enjoyed with Gabrielle that day, lost in every detail of the body she used. She was magnificent. He wondered how her curves would feel under his hands as they ran over the body she was using now. How warm would her skin be to his touch? How would she taste? What would her lips feel like as they moved over him? How would she feel to him as they became one?
Javan opened his eyes, discovering he was no longer alone. Cecily stood in front of him. He hadn’t heard her approach. She was as enchanting as he remembered. This time, she came clothed in a fitted short black dress with heels meant to be enjoyed in more of a horizontal position than a vertical one. He didn’t know what was in her eyes or in the slight smirk pulling one side of her mouth more than the other that prodded him so confidently toward her, and he didn’t care. Cecily was going to be his again. With his desire already piqued by memories of Gabrielle, he took her without saying a word.
Javan and Cecily pulled themselves away from each other just as a knock came from the front door. He could sense Mara and knew she would sense him and the Qalal, as well. He contemplated not answering the door but decided she would find out about Cecily sooner or later anyway. The thought had already crossed his mind that if Cecily truly could lead him to the Book, his immediate need for Mara was going to lessen dramatically.
She’d get over it. If she didn’t, he would deal with her. He didn’t have the patience to play games. He had too much on his mind, far too much to accomplish, to let the little demon derail his focus.
He made himself stand, stretching his body as he did. New sore spots made themselves known, and he could see fresh bruising on his torso and arms even in the shadowed
room. He gave Cecily a knowing smirk as he pulled a robe on and loosely tied it—no need to try and hide what was going on from Mara. It would be obvious.
Javan walked out of his bedroom and toward the front door as another knock sounded, this time, more aggressively. Smiling cruelly, he shook his head as if to scold himself for deriving so much pleasure from hurting Mara. But he couldn’t help himself, and regardless of her being his ally, pleasure through her pain was exactly what he was about to achieve.
As soon as he opened the door, he knew he wasn’t going to get the fun he was hoping for. Mara faced him with nothing but indifference held in her expression.
Ahh … come on! Where’s the rage? The jealousy?
As if she read his thoughts, she cracked a detached smile.
“What?” she asked. “Are you going to let me in, or not?”
Javan opened the door further and gestured for her to enter. She walked in and looked at Cecily, smiled cordially and nodded, then looked back over her shoulder to Javan.
“Sorry for the interruption, sweetie, but I thought you might want to know what I’ve found out so far.”
Javan was befuddled and more disappointed than he wanted to admit.
I thought she’d be upset, and look at her. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. And I’m getting mad at her for not getting mad at me! How absurd!
“Javan …” Mara moved further into the main room, closer to Cecily.
It seemed to Javan that Cecily was overly curious about Mara as Mara and Cecily faced each other. He could almost see the questions forming in her mind.
Why is she so interested?
Mara smiled as she looked at Cecily. “Don’t you think you should introduce us?”
Javan watched the two females check each other out. This was not the scenario he was prepared for. Cecily was more put off by Mara’s presence than the other way around. Mara still seemed completely unaffected by what she had basically walked in on.
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