by L A Cotton
She sat at one of the stools while I turned on the coffee maker. “You have done this before, right?” Amusement laced her voice, and I glanced over my shoulder with a scowl, but Lo shrugged. “I just figured that with Loretta around you never had to fend for yourself.” She smirked around her words. Taunting me.
“You think I'm spoiled?” I acted insulted.
Lo tilted her head to one side and chewed her bottom lip before replying, “Aren't you?”
I was on her before she could escape. My fingers dug into her sides, tickling and squeezing. Lo shrieked, trying to fight me off, but I was bigger. Stronger. And she'd known exactly what she was doing when she baited me.
“Maverick, stop. Stop,” she panted, pressing her face into my shoulder to drown out her pained laughter.
“I never had you down as ticklish.” I'd have to remember that.
My touches became slower, surer, and she gasped for breath. “Maverick... Rick. Stop. Stop, I'm sorry.” It came out muffled.
“Sorry,” I said. “What was that?”
Lo pulled back and met my eyes. “I'm sorry, okay. I take it back.”
My fingers brushed back and forth in gentle movements and she pressed her lips together to contain her cries... or were they moans?
“Does that feel good?” I cocked my head, and she stared at me, squirming on the chair as my hand moved lower, skating across her bare thighs. Over the scars she still refused to talk about. I knew they from the accident but Lo wouldn’t go there. And I’d tried. More than once, I’d tried to get her to open up. I guess we were both strangers to letting other people in.
“You really should have put on pants,” I leaned in close, whispering in her ear, and Lo shivered as I ran my hand up the inside of her thigh. It rippled through her body like a shockwave and it was my turn to smirk. As I pulled away, my lips grazed her ear… her cheek… the corner of her mouth.
Fuck, I would never get enough of her.
“Too bad we have to get back to the house,” I said against her lips before I pulled away fully.
Her palms slammed into my chest and I staggered back with a whoosh of breath. Lo slid off the stool and made her escape, mumbling something about my unfair games, and continued with the coffee.
“I'm proud of you,” the words tumbled out and her head snapped up to mine as she added sugar to the mugs.
“You are?”
“For yesterday, for keeping it together in front of Stella.”
“I didn't do it for her.”
“I know.”
I'd seen how painful it was for her. Watched as she tamped down the urge to bolt every time Stella spoke or laughed or so much as looked in Lo's direction. She was a better person than me because if it had been me in her shoes I doubted things would have played out so smoothly.
Lo pushed my mug across the counter with a heavy sigh. “She's not going anywhere. I guess I have to get used to it.”
“Your dad, he seems happy.”
“Yeah.” Lo's gaze moved to the window that looked out on the house. “I still don't understand it, though. I've tried to process it but it's like my mind can't unravel it all. It’s too much.”
I caught her hand and tugged her around to me, trapping her between my legs. “Give it time.”
She didn't answer, too lost in her thoughts.
“Wait here a minute.” I dropped a kiss on her head and switched us, helping Lo onto the stool. “Wha—” she started, but I was already moving. When I'd spotted it in a store downtown, I knew I had to get it for her.
After retrieving the package from its safe place in my nightstand drawer, I returned to Lo. She eyed my hands and said, “Maverick?”
“I don’t think I got to say it yesterday, but Merry Christmas, Lo.” I kissed her again. Just a quick peck but it was still like a bolt of thunder in my chest, then I handed her the gift.
“Merry Christmas,” she swallowed as her fingers traced the edge of the parcel in her hands. “What is it?”
“Open it and see.” I ran a brisk hand over my head, a sudden burst of nerves flooding my chest. What if she didn't understand? What if she didn't like it? What if it was too soon?
“You got this, for me?” She stared at the journal in her hands and then slowly slid her tear-filled eyes to mine. “It's beautiful.”
“I saw it and it reminded me of your tattoo.” The black floral design was handstitched into the silk material binding the journal.
“It does, it's...” her voice wobbled. “Maverick, this is... I don't have words. I love it.” She clutched it to her chest and leaned forward, pressing her lips to mine. My fingers slid into her hair, anchoring us together as I ran my tongue along the seam of her mouth. Lo let me in, let me take what I needed. When I was one second away from hauling her back to the bedroom, I pulled away.
“I thought it might help,” I breathed out. “Writing stuff down.” Miss Tamson had suggested it to me more than once over the last year. But my answer was always the same.
“I- I used to keep a diary, when I was younger.” She swallowed, and I saw tears in her eyes. “Thank you, this is… it’s perfect, Maverick. I feel bad now, though. I didn’t get you anything. I didn’t think—”
“Stop.” I cupped her jaw, staring at her. “I don’t need anything from you, Lo. Just you.”
“You mean that?” I gave her a pointed look and she blushed again. And then she said, “You really think they’ll be upset?”
“Gentry won’t be happy. He thinks I’m a bad influence.”
Lo placed her gift on the counter and looped her arms around my neck. “I like your bad influence.” A suggestive smile tugged at her lips and I gave her a smirk of my own.
“Is that right?”
She nodded up at me through thick lashes and I leaned in again to kiss her, but she leaned back out of reach. “But I don’t like the idea of you getting hurt, Maverick.”
“Lo,” I warned. She’d asked me once about the fighting, the day after the dance. And I’d told her then, she didn’t need to worry.
“I just want to understand,” the uncertainty in her whisper crushed me, but I couldn’t tell her. Not that. Anything but that.
“It's just something I need right now.”
“But—”
“I'm not doing this, Lo, not today. Not now.” I moved away from her.
“You were hurt, Maverick. You got hurt.”
My body went rigid as I clenched my jaw.
“Maverick.” The inflection in her voice cooled the molten lava running through my veins, just enough for me to look at her. “I didn’t mean to push. I just,” she swallowed. “I care about you, a lot.”
Closing the distance between us, I looked at Lo. Really looked at her. We were both broken. Products of our fucked-up pasts. But where I wanted to hurt and feel pain, she wanted to fix and make everything better.
“This is who I am, Lo. I’m not the good guy. I fight. I lose my shit and see red. It lives inside of me and when it gets too much, I have to let it out.”
“What happened to you?” Her voice was a gentle caress and it would have been so easy to tell her. To bare the demons that haunted me. But I couldn’t do it. Not now. Maybe not ever.
I gathered her against me, tucking her head into the space between my jaw and chest. Lo’s fingers curled into my t-shirt and we stood there in silence. I knew what I was asking of her was a lot. But I also knew she had her own demons. Things she still hadn’t laid to rest. And when—if—the time was right, she’d tell me.
“I want you, Lo,” I said. “I want this. But there are some things I need to handle myself.”
I wish it could be different. I wish I could be the kind of guy who deserves you. But I didn’t say the words. Because I was a selfish prick.
“Okay.”
It was so quiet I almost missed it but Lo wiggled free, craning her neck up at me. “I trust you. When you’re ready to tell me, I’ll be here.”
As I stared down at her—the girl who
held my heart in the palm of her hand—I knew I was going to hell. One way or another, my secrets would ruin us. But it was too late to walk away.
Because in the end, maybe I was more like my father than I wanted to admit.
Lo
Slipping into the kitchen, I clicked the door shut behind me. It was quiet with only the rhythmic tick tock of the wall clock and the soft hum of the refrigerator making a sound. I glanced back at Maverick as he lingered by the pool house. The familiar sensations in my stomach tugged sharply but it wasn’t only desire I felt. After our intense conversation, waves of dread rippled through me too, swirling with my lust. Tainting the amazing night we’d spent together.
I’d pushed him too far, demanded answers he couldn’t give me. But I wanted to know all of him. Even the parts I might not like.
Tiptoeing across the kitchen, I reached the stairs, taking two steps at a time until I was safely inside the guest room. The door clicked shut behind me, and my eyes landed on the bed with its crisp fresh sheets and fluffy pillows. It looked so inviting, but the house would come alive within the hour and I'd have to play my part. Again. Have to pretend that Maverick was nothing to me… again. I peeled off my clothes and slipped into the white, silky-soft robe hanging on the back of the door, smiling to myself at Rebecca’s preparedness, and headed for the bathroom.
“Sleep well?” Kyle grinned cockily as he came out of the bathroom and I rolled my eyes choosing silence as my only reply. His laughter followed me all the way down the hallway.
When I was showered and changed, I made my way downstairs. Everyone was gathered in the kitchen. Dad, Stella and Beth sat huddled at one end of the island, talking and laughing over their breakfast plates.
“Good morning, sweetheart,” he said as I helped myself to a glass of juice.
“Morning,” I replied, unable to meet his gaze, worried that if he saw my flushed skin and undisguisable smile, he might see the truth on my face.
“There's toast, pancakes, bacon, and cereal,” Uncle Gentry added. “Help yourself, Lo.
“Thanks.” I picked a stool away from Dad and Stella, and loaded my plate with pancakes despite my hunger disappearing the second I laid eyes on them.
It was weird being back and yet, in some ways, I felt more at home here, in amongst the secrets and lies than I did in my own house.
“It really was a lovely day, yesterday.” The sound of Stella's voice sent my spine rigid. “Thank you for inviting us.”
I risked a sideways glance at her, the woman my father loved. All day yesterday, she'd been polite. Laughing and chatting with Gentry and Rebecca as if they were old friends. Mum never wanted this life—had fought Dad on it—but Stella fit in so easily. As if she was supposed to be here.
As if she belonged here all along.
I swallowed over the lump of pancake stuck in my throat as my eyes burned with unshed tears. But then I felt Maverick behind me. His fingers grazed the small of my back so lightly I might have missed it. But I didn't. I felt that single touch all the way down to my crushed soul. Maverick got it. He understood.
“Something smells good,” Kyle bounded into the room, freshly showered, and the spell was broken. Maverick went to him and some unspoken message passed between them. And then my cousin's gaze settled on me, “Laurie wants to know if you're coming to hang with us later?”
“Kyle,” Rebecca sighed. “I wanted us to spend the day together.”
“No can do, Momma P. We have plans.” He waggled his eyebrows and stuffed a piece of bacon in his mouth.
“It's fine, darling. We can take Robert and Stella out on Dad’s boat? Someone might as well get some use out of it since Mom and Dad are off on their travels again.”
“Oh, that would be wonderful,” Stella crooned, the sound vibrating in my skull. “Wouldn’t that be wonderful, Bethany?”
The little girl smiled showing the rest of us a mouthful of half-chewed cereal.
“Beth,” her mother blushed, covering her daughter’s mouth and whispering something about table manners.
“Be ready by ten,” Kyle said to me and I nodded. I was ready to get out of here.
So ready.
~
“Laurie snuck out unnoticed then?” I said to Kyle as he backed his Jeep out and did a U-turn before setting off down the winding drive.
“It seems the two of you are pretty stealthy that way.” He flashed me a sideways grin. “He's taking care of you, right?”
“Seriously, Kyle?”
“What? I'm just looking out for you. Rick is...” He blew out a long breath. “Look, I'm pleased the two of you finally got your shit together, maybe you can rein him in, but it doesn't mean I don't worry.” His voice trailed off and I curled my fingers into the soft leather. “Alec Prince is... well, he's a ruthless bastard. I don’t know what’s going on between him and Maverick but it’s nothing good, Cous. Things could get very messy when he finds out.”
“I know,” I whispered.
I wasn't stupid. And I hadn't missed the pure rage that flowed out of Maverick whenever talk of his future or father came up.
“He won't talk to me about it.” I admitted.
“Give him time. This, you, it's new for him. Rick doesn't let people get close, Cous.”
Another thing he didn't need to tell me, but then he added, “You're the exception. I don't know what happened that night last summer, but it stayed with him. When I realized it was you, I couldn't tell him. You were back in England. Unlikely to ever show up here again.”
He held my gaze, keeping his hands tight on the wheel as we sped toward wherever we were going. “But then Dad told us you were moving here. I didn't know what to do. After everything you'd been through... the stuff I heard my dad tell Rebecca,” he gulped. “You sounded as broken as him.”
Silence filled the space between us. Thick and heavy with the ghosts of my past and I struggled to breathe.
“I'm sorry,” was all he said, and I wasn't sure which part he was apologising for. But it didn't matter. The emotion in Kyle's voice, the way he'd taken me under his wing and protected me from the start, it was all I needed to know.
“Thank you,” slipped from my lips and Kyle chuckled low in his throat.
“You're family, Cous.”
We rode the rest of the way in comfortable silence. Until I realised we were going in the opposite direction to Laurie’s house. “Hmm, Kyle where are we going?” I said, and then I saw it. “Luke Taffia's house?” It was the last place I expected.
“Change of plans,” he said as he turned into the sloping driveway. When he cut the engine, he added, “Come on, the Prince awaits.”
Maverick was here?
Of course he was. It was his best friend's house, but he hadn't said a single word about this when I managed to covertly ask him what his plans were for today. I climbed out and smoothed down my hair suddenly feeling unsure.
“Hey, its fine. It's nothing crazy. Rick and the team hang out here over the holidays. Luke’s parents vacation for the New Year in Cabo.”
I gave him a tight nod and followed him up the path. Maverick's car was tucked between two cars I didn't recognise. When I didn’t follow him inside, Kyle glanced back over his shoulder, “What’s wrong?”
“Last time we were here…” I dropped my eyes. We’d been drunk, and Maverick had given us a ride home—with the girl he’d come downstairs with.
“They didn’t sleep together.”
“What?” My head shot up, eyes wide, and I hated how insecure I sounded.
Kyle turned to face me, dragging a hand down his face. “You didn’t ask him about it, did you?”
Lips mashed together, I shook my head. I hadn’t asked. We weren’t together then. Maverick was a free agent. Despite how much it hurt to see them, so intimate and close, I hadn’t asked.
He rolled his eyes. “You’re as bad as each other.”
“Kyle.” I gritted my teeth, aware that we were standing on the threshold of Maverick’s best f
riend’s house and that he was probably in there.
“Maverick didn’t sleep with Selina. I asked him,” he hesitated. “He wouldn’t tell me the whole story, but I believed him. You should ask him about it.”
More secrets.
I had a feeling if I was going to be with Maverick, I needed to get used to them.
Reluctantly, I followed Kyle inside, closing the door behind me. Laughter floated down the hallway. The house reminded me of the Stone-Prince’s place. Posh. Big. It was beautiful. But unlike my family’s house back in England, it lacked the personal touches I was used to. No photographs or family portraits hung on the wall. It was all very perfect. And all very cold.
We entered a room toward the back of the house. A typical boy cave with huge sofas; bean bags; the biggest TV I’d ever seen, mounted on the wall; and a crowd of boys cheering at the screen.
“Stone, get in here.” Trey, the guy from that night at the party, said with a grin. But when his eyes roved to me they narrowed, and he tipped his chin. “Hey.”
I opened my mouth, a sarcastic reply on the tip of my tongue, but Maverick’s voice cut through the room. “Trey, back off.”
“Hey, man,” the boy’s hands shot up. “I’m just messing. Sorry, Lo.”
“Learn some manners, dude. She’s family.” Kyle threw me look I didn’t quite understand as he wedged himself between Trey and another guy I vaguely recognised from school and the basketball team.
My eyes moved from person to person, trying to place them. But I quickly realised, these were Maverick’s inner circle. The boys he hung out with at school, his teammates.
So why the hell was I here?
“Can I get you something to drink, Lo?” Luke said from his leather gaming chair.
“I’d take a water,” I said. But it wasn’t him who got up.
Maverick stalked toward me, his eyes holding mine. “Come on.” He took my hand and led me out of the room and across the hallway to the kitchen. All I could do was follow, my mind swimming at the strangeness of the situation.
Maverick had Kyle bring me here. To his friend’s house… to hang out with them?
“I can hear your thoughts from here.” He released my hand and went to a cabinet, retrieving a glass.