by Carol Ross
“Emily, it’s not going to make one bit of difference in the big picture and you know it. Those councilmen and women have already made their minds up. One more public battle between us isn’t going to matter.”
Laurel’s warning flashed through her mind. Why did he seem so unconcerned? Why wasn’t he planning something of his own? Was he that confident he would win? Why would he be? She and Amanda felt as though they had secured more council votes. It was close, yes, but when it came down to it, she didn’t think the majority of them would turn down what Cam-Field was offering. “Then why call it off?”
“I’d like to spend the day with you on Saturday.”
“Oh.”
“Emily, your town-hall meeting is on Sunday. Just have Tara Gillsby speak at that event if you think it will make that much of a difference. I’d like to spend another day with you before this whole thing goes down—before whatever happens...”
She stared at him as her stomach tightened with anxiety. It was the first time either one of them had mentioned aloud what they’d both been thinking. After Tuesday, things would never be the same—one way or the other. She was trying desperately to figure out what this meant—on more than one level. But she knew, even as her mind tried to calculate the ramifications what she was going to say.
“Another cease-fire?” he asked softly, and Emily couldn’t resist the longing she read on his face. It made her heart soar and it filled her with hope. And no matter how fruitless her head said that hope was, she couldn’t stop her heart from deciding this one...
“Okay,” she said. “How about this...” She thought for a moment. “I really can’t cancel on Tara Gillsby. But I’ll let Amanda handle everything on Saturday—and by everything I mean I won’t even call to check in and see how it’s going. I’ll spend the day with you. We’ll call it a cease-fire compromise?”
Bering nodded slowly. “Okay,” he said. “I can live with a compromise.”
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
EMILY AND AMANDA were sitting on the sofa in Emily’s living room drinking coffee and going over the details for the town-hall meeting that night.
As agreed, she’d spent the previous day with Bering and it had been incredible. They’d gotten an early start the following morning when Bering picked her up and they had watched the sun rise over breakfast at Craven’s B and B, then they’d gone boating. He had pointed out landmarks as they cruised along the shore. Then they had traveled up the coastline and into a scenic fjord to get up close and personal with a glacier. Emily had been mesmerized by the sight, and the sound, of the giant mass of ice, which reached all the way to the water’s edge. They’d spent the evening at Bering’s, and Emily had barely even thought about the rally.
And on the return trip, as she’d viewed the town from out in the water, from nearly the spot where the proposed oil platform would go, she’d decided what she was going to give Bering for his birthday. His birthday was tomorrow—the day before the vote—and he hadn’t even told her. Thank goodness Janie had called....
“Do you want to go over your speech one more time?” Amanda asked as she flipped through the last of the pages stacked in front of her.
“Amanda, thank you again for yesterday. It sounds like you did a great job.”
“It went well. It was fun. It must have been difficult for you, though, huh?” she teased. “Keeping your nose out of it?”
Emily shook her head as if she couldn’t quite believe it herself. “Surprisingly enough, no, it wasn’t.”
Amanda’s brows lifted in mock surprise. “Well, Em, that is great. It’s so nice to see you enjoying yourself for a change. Now, how about this speech?”
“Nah, I think I’m ready. Do you think I’m ready?”
“Emily, honey, you were born ready.”
“Now, if I only believed it.” Emily sighed and laid her head back against the soft cushion of the sofa.
“What?”
“Oh, Amanda, I don’t know. Normally I can convince myself that what I’m saying is true—or that there is at least some truth to it.”
“Emily, what you’re saying is true.” She paused as if thinking about the statement. “It certainly isn’t untrue.”
“I know. I mean, it’s true, but is it right?”
“Is it right?” Amanda repeated. “Um, Emily, what are you talking about? What’s going on in that brilliant mind of yours?”
“I don’t know, Amanda. Things have changed for me. It’s like my drive is gone. These people love this little town, and yes, we are going to bring in more money and jobs and blah, blah, blah. But is it worth it? Really, when it’s all said and done? Is it really worth it? This is such a special place, don’t you think? I mean, really and truly unique, and I don’t know... Should we be the ones to ruin that? All in the name of more money for Cam-Field’s already stuffed coffers?”
“Um, Em, I think Franklin would prefer that you say that it’s all in the name of ‘progress,’” Amanda quipped. They both burst out laughing. It was one of his favorite buzzwords.
“Seriously, though, what are you saying here exactly?”
Emily shrugged. “I guess I’m saying that I don’t know what I’m doing it for anymore.”
“Well, for starters you’re doing it to show your stepfather and that smug jerk Jeremy that they didn’t win. Everyone knows that Cam-Field wouldn’t be half the company it is without you.”
“Thanks, Amanda.” Emily felt the tears welling up in her eyes. “And what is with these tears? I’ve cried more in the last month than I have in the last twenty years. Have you noticed that?”
“Listen, you have every right to cry once in a while. You’ve been through so much in the last few months, in your entire life, really, if you think about it. You do know that no one else would have put up with what you have?”
“Yeah, I think I’m finally figuring that out.” She glanced at her friend, took a deep breath and then exhaled slowly. “I’m not going back, Amanda.”
“What do you mean, you’re not going back?”
“I don’t have a future with Cam-Field anymore. I don’t want a future with Cam-Field anymore. I always thought that I would take the reins of this company one day, and that has been my sole focus in life. But I know that’s not going to happen now. And I can’t work for Jeremy. I don’t even want to work with him. I’ve lost it.” She shrugged helplessly. “My ambition, it’s gone. I don’t care about my job anymore. I don’t care about Cam-Field. And I see so clearly now how my feelings for Franklin have been wrapped up in my feelings for Cam-Field. I’m not sure how I feel about him when I separate him from the business. But I think I’d like to find out.”
Amanda gaped at her as if she couldn’t quite believe what she was hearing. “But what will you do?”
“I’m going to finish this job, and by this job I mean I’m done after the vote. I do want this, for me. But I also want it for Franklin because I know how important it is to him. But however it goes, I’m quitting.” Emily was stunned to realize how torn she was between wanting to score this victory for her stepfather and by seeing Bering’s, and Rankins’s, precious way of life preserved.
“Okay, okay...” Amanda was clearly trying to soak it all in. “But what will you do then?” she asked.
“I’ve got quite a bit of savings.” She tilted her head to one side and said, “Maybe take some time off. Maybe go see Aidan in whatever jungle he’s camped out in. And then I’m thinking about getting a job on a cruise ship.”
“A cruise ship?” Amanda repeated incredulously.
“Yeah, doesn’t cruise director sound great? You’d—”
“Em, honey, we all would like to be a cruise director, or cupcake taster, or whatever, but you can’t just up and quit.” Amanda paused and looked skyward for a second. “Can you? Well, heck, maybe you can.” She smiled at Emily and then reached over and patted her hand. “I know you’ve been avoiding this topic, but since we’re talking about your future here...um, what about Bering?”
>
Emily shook her head and tried to keep a fresh bout of tears at bay. “That will all be over soon anyway. He’s going to hate me and I know it.”
“Why would he hate you?”
“Because Cam-Field is going to get the approval from the town council and Rankins will begin its metamorphosis and then Bering is going to resent me. And eventually it will turn to hate.”
“Oh, Emily, you don’t know that.”
“Yes, I do, Amanda. And you do, too. You’ve spent enough time with Tag and Bering yourself to know how closely tied their lives are to this place. Cam-Field threatens everything they are and everything they have invested here. Sure, industry will grow, but what about tourism? Bering and his coalition are right—what tourist is going to want to come here after all this construction is completed? Who is going to want to live here when the entire character of this town is changed?”
She let out a miserable sigh. “It doesn’t matter anyway, right? I’ve seen you do this before, Amanda. The end of a job—the end of the relationship, right? I mean, it’s in the nature of this kind of thing for it not to last...”
“You’re in love with him.”
“What? No. Don’t be ridiculous, I’m not...” She couldn’t possibly be in love with him, could she? Did she even know what love felt like? No, she didn’t, and surely it didn’t happen this fast, did it? No, it couldn’t.... Right, so why was it that when she thought about leaving him her chest got all tight and constricted as though she had a piano sitting on it? It made it difficult to breathe. Yeah, that was why she kept forcing herself to not think about it—so she could breathe properly. How could she have been so careless as to allow herself to fall in love?
“Are you going to tell him?” Amanda asked.
“No, of course not.”
“Emily, he’s probably in love with you, too.”
“No, Amanda, and even if that were true, it doesn’t matter. It can’t last. It can’t.” But she wanted it to, she really did. Now that she thought about it, she’d never wanted anything so much in her entire life—not even the title of CEO of Cam-Field Oil & Mineral. But she couldn’t say it out loud, she wouldn’t, because then everything would hurt even more than it already did.
She could handle it; she’d been a master at handling her emotions her entire life. Until she’d found herself in Rankins anyway.
Now she executed a one-shoulder shrug and remarked lightly, “You, of all people, know what it’s like to fall in love, to get involved in a relationship that you know is going to end. Give me some advice. Tell me what to do.”
Amanda shook her head sadly. “Emily, no, I don’t. I’ve only been in love with one of the guys that I met on one of these jobs, and I got engaged to him. I would have left everything to be with him. I had planned to, remember? Sure, it didn’t work out. But all the other times—I’ve had a good time and maybe felt a little tug of sadness, but if I’d really been in love, Em, I would have stayed. Or I would have figured out some way to work it out.”
Emily stared at Amanda a long time before she spoke. “Why haven’t we ever talked about this stuff before, Amanda? I mean, you’re my best friend.”
“We have, Emily. I do talk about it. You’ve just never heard it before.”
Emily knew that what she said was true. She’d always listened as Amanda prattled on about the men in her life. Her chatter had always been amusing and entertaining—like a good gossip magazine—but it hadn’t ever really seemed serious to her. The difference between then and now was that she just couldn’t relate before. Had she really been that single-minded? That obsessed with work? The answer, she knew, was an unqualified yes.
“Amanda, I’m sorry. I’ve been like some kind of unemotional robot, haven’t I? How have you put up with me all these years?”
“I’ve always preferred to think of you as more like Sleeping Beauty. I’ve been patiently waiting for you to wake up. And it’s finally happened, but I think we have Bering to thank for that.”
She looked at Amanda and didn’t try to mask her anguish as she asked, “This is going to be really hard, isn’t it?”
* * *
EMILY STARED AT THE SKETCH she’d drawn, the one that Bering had won at the Rotary auction and then given to her that same night. She carefully removed the sketch from the frame, signed it and placed it into a different frame—one she thought suited it much better. She wrapped it in red tissue paper and then placed it in a box.
When Janie had called to invite her to Bering’s surprise birthday party, she’d been touched. She didn’t think she’d ever get used to his family’s thoughtfulness. But she’d also been worried. What could she possibly get for him? Where did these people even shop? She’d asked Janie.
“Oh, we do a lot on the internet now. Glacier City is only about three hours away on a good day. It’s not exactly a thriving metropolis or anything, but you can get almost anything you need. It used to be that we’d drive, or pay an exorbitant amount to fly, to Anchorage a couple times a year, stay a few nights with my mom’s cousin, but now that Tag has his pilot’s license, we fly more often than that—and it’s a lot faster and cheaper than buying a ticket.”
“Wow.”
“I know, I know. It seems really backwoods, huh? But you’d be surprised at how good you get at thinking and planning ahead. And now with the internet...well, it’s so much easier.”
“Is it casual?”
Janie laughed. “Sweetie, it’s always casual here in Rankins—even when it’s not. The only time people even attempt to dress up is for weddings, funerals, church and the Rotary fund-raiser. And usually that just means flannel that’s been ironed with a spray of starch.”
Emily smiled at hearing her previous conjecture spoken aloud. “Okay, so do I bring anything?”
“Nah, it’s going to be at the Caribou, so everything’s taken care of. Just bring your lovely self and Amanda if she wants to come.”
Now, as Emily wrapped the box, she hoped that Bering would understand the symbolism behind it. She wanted it to convey to him that it had worked, his efforts had paid off—he had managed to make her fall in love with Rankins. She was grateful to Bering for “waking her up,” as Amanda had suggested, and in spite of what happened, win or lose, she wanted him to know that.
She was going to take the memories of Bering, and of Rankins, and tuck them away and keep them forever. They would see her through the rough patches, and she knew that she’d never be the same again. Because if one good thing could come from it all, it was that she was finally ready to live. To live life the way Bering lived it, the way he’d shown her that she could live. She wiped at the tears that streamed down her face as she wondered how she could possibly do any of that without him.
* * *
EMILY WAS NERVOUS. She was always nervous before these presentations but usually it was mixed with an equal amount of excitement and confidence. Tonight it was just mixed with equal parts of dread and nausea. She felt sick thinking about what Cam-Field would do if—when—they won approval for this project. And she was despondent about the soon-to-be end of her time with Bering.
The school’s gymnasium was packed to the gills with standing room only. She glanced down at her watch, took a deep breath and walked up to the podium. “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. On behalf of Cam-Field Oil & Mineral, I’d like to thank you all for coming tonight. And on a personal note, my assistant, Amanda, and I would like to thank you, and all the citizens of Rankins, for your warm and generous treatment. Your town is stunningly beautiful and we have so enjoyed our stay here.” She was heartened by the solid round of applause.
She went on. “And now let’s talk about the reason that we’ve all gathered here tonight....” Emily began by outlining Cam-Field’s basic plan for the construction of the oil platform, storage facilities and pipeline. And while it was true, Emily then explained, that new unobtrusive structures would be built in and on the shore of the bay, jobs would be created, money would be pumped into the econ
omy and virtually every aspect of Rankins would be improved in the process.
You’re a big fat liar, Emily, she told herself. If she lived here she wouldn’t want to change a thing. These people are crazy if they agree to it, she thought as she kept up a steady stream of corporate-speak.
And finally she added the frosting: upon approval of the final permits, Cam-Field would underscore its dedication to the future of Rankins with a donation of five million dollars for the hospital renovation. She reiterated their commitment to the community center and added that another million had been earmarked for the school system.
Forty-five minutes later, Emily was relieved to find that it was going much, much better than she had anticipated. Her voice sounded strong, her nervousness had subsided, her confidence felt revived and her words were making sense to her own ears. She didn’t have the same enthusiasm for them anymore, but that was really irrelevant right now. Wasn’t it?
“So, in conclusion I’d just like to add that in the development of this community’s resources, Cam-Field will be dedicated to the health and well-being of the citizens of Rankins as well as the health and well-being of the landscape, the wildlife and all the unique aspects that make Rankins so special. Now I’d like to open up the floor to any questions or comments that you might have.”
A young man stood up in the first row of the bleachers and Amanda passed him a microphone. He took it in one hand and raised the other in greeting. “Yeah, hi, um, about all these jobs? It sounds to me like a lot of them are going to need to be filled by skilled workers. How do you expect a bunch of fishermen and loggers to jump onto an oil rig and know what to do?”
“That’s a very good question. Cam-Field has an extensive training program for its workers. It’s a paid training program and the only requirements are that you are ready to learn some valuable new skills and willing to work hard.” Emily briefly outlined the process.
She then successfully fielded dozens more questions, and the audience seemed to have been tamed when she heard a new buzz from the crowd. She knew it was Bering before she even saw him striding purposefully and confidently up the aisle. She stepped aside as he approached the podium and his eyes flicked over briefly to meet hers, but she couldn’t read a thing behind the glance. A seed of dread sprouted inside her and quickly blossomed as he began to speak.